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EVERYONE TREATED THEM as if they should have been one unit. When Trance was invited to outings, the inviter usually gave a comment like, “Bring Leah.”
Sometimes when someone wanted to have a get together, it was phrased as, “Would Trance mind if we stole you on such and such date?”
Maybe she was being a bit paranoid, but it was starting to stress her out. That compounded with lack of sleep from her nightmares, which had had progressed from the simple diary entry readings where Trance had listened in...to the beatings.
But the nightmares had worsened after her ex-husband had been arrested. It had been without incident other than he tried to burn her alive inside her cabin. Shawn had rescued the trapped Tempest, who’d taken her place. Everything was done and over now and they awaited his trial.
She was safe. He was locked up.
Yet the nightmares worsened.
Every goddamn beating was re-enacted. Sometimes Trance was tied up in the same room, forced to watch her. Sometimes he was in a cage. She must have heard somewhere that Xeno Sapiens had been caged during their captivity, because she couldn’t think of any other reason why she’d put him in a cage in her dream.
He was present for every humiliation. Every time she was dragged across the floor by her hair. Every time she cowered while kicked.
Sometimes she woke screaming and Trance was so sweet to hug her, once to even rock her back to sleep. But it was getting to be three and four times a night. Every night. She was tired, she was crabby, and she was at her breaking point. She had no patience left, and she trudged through her day, waiting for the trial. Because surely once she reached that milestone, she’d find peace. She’d be able to sleep.
Dreaming of Brock awakened all kinds of inner drama. Nightmares. Flashbacks. If Trance moved too fast, she flinched. And then she snapped at him when she saw the regret in his eyes because of all things, she sure the hell didn’t want him to feel sorry for her.
She knew his work performance had to be affected, too. His beautiful eyes had dark circles beneath them. Something had to give.
He was the one to bring it up. “We need to talk.”
It was her day off—and therefore his. He’d rearranged his schedule to suit hers. She’d protested but he’d merely used the excuse she was beginning to hate. “Leah, I’m your sponsor.”
God, she hated those words. She hated to be told anyone needed to talk. After all, what it really meant was a man talked and a woman listened. And smiled. Because you either smiled pretty, or you cried when the first punch rang out and prayed there wouldn’t be too many others.
“You’re exhausted,” she said softly. As much as she had offered to take the couch, he refused. Insisted on her staying in their bed. His bed.
“So are you, Leah.”
“I’m making your life a living hell, sponsor,” she tried to tease.
“No, you’re not. I just want you to be happy. But the more you bottle up your feelings, the worse it gets. Talk to me. Use me.” Then he said the oddest thing. “Read to me.”
For a moment, she froze. Unease froze her and for a moment, she forgot to breathe. Surely he didn’t say read. No one knew about the letters she had. No one knew about the goddamn diaries. But Trance continued on, seemingly unaware of the panic he’d triggered.
“Leah, you know Xeno Sapiens have certain abilities. Most of us, anyway. Tempest has that weird bone thing where she shoots them out of her skin.”
“That’s not something you should share. That’s up to her to share with people.” She felt the need to shut him up, somehow. Anyhow.
“It’s not like she keeps it secret,” he growled. “And you’re her best friend, aren’t you?” His voice was mocking. “You know this about her. She’s told you.”
His exhaustion was taking a toll. It was almost like he was pissed that she wouldn’t hear what he wanted to share. And he was going to plunge ahead anyway.
“Besides, it wasn’t her abilities I wanted to share. It’s mine.”
Panic made her reach up and cover his mouth with her hand. Shock gripped them both for a moment because it was the first time she’d willingly touched him. “I don’t want to hear it, Trance.” She had an uneasy feeling she couldn’t quite explain. But living with him the way she did, she really didn’t want to know what his power was.
She left her hand over his mouth, but he simply reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
Damn it. Why did he have to be so sweet?
And then she felt the lightest kiss on the inside of her palm. She didn’t even mind so much. She pulled her hand away, tracing his lips briefly. His full, smooth, beautiful lips.
“Let’s take a nap,” she murmured. “We’re both so tired.”
Slowly he nodded. Taking his hand, she led the way to their bedroom. They took their usual positions on the bed but this time—only this one time—he pulled her close. And she let him. She sank onto his shoulder, his chin dropped onto her head. She felt warm and comfortable like she belonged.
This time, when she dreamed, it was a sex dream.
Hell. She couldn’t have that. She just couldn’t. He was too sweet to use and discard. And she could never again live with a man.
LEAH STARED AT ROBYN, waiting for her response.
The first thing she’d done when she woke up was wriggle from Trance’s embrace. The poor thing was so exhausted he never woke. She slipped out of their apartment and went straight to Robyn’s office.
She didn’t even mind her bedraggled state.
“Let me get this straight. You want to move out of your sponsor’s home, despite the fact that you shouldn’t even be living in Xenia?”
“I know it’s a lot to ask. But I’m intruding on Trance’s privacy. He has a one-bedroom apartment.”
“You’re going to have to do better than that.” Robyn leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she waited.
Leah took a deep breath. “Okay, look. I’m going to be honest here.”
“As well you should.”
“I—I care for Trance. But I’m having dreams. Nightmares. And I’m waking him up at night. All night. He won’t complain, but he’s growing more and more exhausted. Surely you’ve noticed?”
Robyn nodded. “There have been reports.”
“He’ll get better as soon as he can sleep again. It’ll be healthier this way.”
Robyn typed something into her keyboard. It took several minutes.
“Why is it that you still type?” Leah asked. “It’s so...retro.”
Robyn smiled. “I’m a hacker. I know security measures. It’s harder to hack manual transmissions.” She stopped typing and leaned back. “There’s an empty apartment next door to you. Trance had requested construction to knock down the wall between the two units. We can cancel that order and move you in next door.”
“That—that would be wonderful.”
“Be very clear, Trance remains your sponsor. If he decides you are to get mandatory counseling or places an order for you to visit medbay, his orders override your wishes.”
“I understand.”
“Trance will be informed immediately of your new residence. Your DNA code has been switched to unlock the new place. I imagine Trance will remove your access from his door.”
Leah stood.
“Leah?”
She looked over at Robyn, who leaned back into her chair. “I’d suggest you keep things amicable with Trance. You’ll need your sponsor’s support.”
Leah nodded.
She’d keep things amicable. She just didn’t want to face him in real life every time she dreamed about jumping his sexy, naked body. And she didn’t want him to force her to talk about her feelings and wonder why.
She wanted life to be simple. She just wanted to enjoy her anonymous, but decidedly naughty, shameful dreams.
