CURLED UP ON her parents’ couch with her hands cradled around a warm mug of chamomile tea, Shari stared out the window to watch the snow fall. Caught by the beam of the security light outside, she could see snowflakes flutter through the air. She’d always found snowfall to be enchanting, since she was a little girl. It was peaceful and magical and beautiful, all at the same time.
She’d had a good childhood in this house, growing up in the East Falls neighborhood of Philadelphia. There were parks, play areas, and rec centers. Story time at the local library had been her favorite thing as a kid; her mom would take her and her older sister there every week. Her school had been a good one, and got her on the track to be able to get into top colleges. And the friends she’d made there, a lot of them were still her friends, even though they’d all scattered across the country and led busy lives. Shari loved New York, but this place would always be home to her. She hoped her parents never decided to move away.
“Hey lady,” her father said. “Move over.”
Looking up at him, Shari did so with a grin. “Plenty of room here.”
“Oh good. Thought so.” Bruce Cohen was short, a little rounder than in his younger days, and had gone bald back in his thirties. But the lines in his face only made him seem softer, as if the kindness within had etched into his features. Shari always loved the way his sense of humor made his blue eyes shine.
“Where’s Mom?” she asked. “Stacey, Bill, the kids?”
“They’re all in the den. The girls are watching Frozen for about the millionth time. I needed an escape and realized you’d already gotten out of Dodge.”
Shari laughed. Her adorable nieces, at four and six, were obsessed with all things Frozen, and watched the movie almost every day, according to her mom. “I wasn’t trying to escape, or be rude. I’m just tired,” she said. “So I made some tea. I love watching the snow. And just sitting here feels nice.”
“Okay,” Bruce said. His eyes pinned her. “Now tell me what’s really the matter. “Something’s bothering you, I could see that as soon as I got home from work. It’s all over your face.”
She couldn’t hold back a wry grin. “You know me too well.”
“What, you forgot that?” He watched her take a sip of tea before asking, “Anything I can help with?”
“I don’t think so . . .” Shari looked at her father. He was a smart man, a loving man. As a young girl, she’d been a daddy’s girl. As a teenager, when she fought with her older sister or she and her mom butted heads, he was always a safe port in the storm. He’d given her sage advice over the years. He’d always been sharply tuned into his girls. “Then again, maybe you could.”
“Great. Try me.”
Shari told him about what had transpired that week between her and Evan. Everything, from her going to Long Island with him and meeting his family, to the tense text exchange they’d had that morning. And that she hadn’t heard from him since.
“I don’t know, Dad . . .” Shari stole a sip from her mug. The tea was getting cool, so she leaned over to put the mug on the coffee table. “Am I being petulant? I thought my points were valid. He thinks I’m punishing him and giving him an ultimatum.”
“Are you?” Bruce asked.
“I thought about that long and hard on the train ride here,” she said. “And no, I’m not giving him an ultimatum. But . . . maybe I’ve been punishing him a little.”
“A little, huh?” her father said. His bushy brows lifted. “I’d say more than a little. He gave you nice gifts, that he obviously put thought and effort into. You could have taken a walk down to his office and given him a few minutes. You chose not to.”
She winced and fidgeted with the edge of the fleece blanket spread over her lap. “I know. You’re right.”
“As for the ultimatum part,” Bruce continued, “I see where you’re coming from, and I don’t think you were giving him an ultimatum.”
“Thank you!” she said.
“But,” he cut in with a knowing half grin. “Let me ask you something. And tell me the truth, because if you don’t, you’re not lying to me, you’re lying to yourself. We’re discussing this for your benefit.”
She loved the way he always cut to the heart of a matter. “Okay. Shoot.”
“Do you want to marry him?”
Shari drew a long breath and reached up to grasp a lock of her hair. “It wasn’t really on my mind before all this happened. But since it has, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, of course. And yes.” Her voice got small and soft. “Yes, I want to marry him. And I’d like him to want to marry me. And he doesn’t.”
“Yet,” Bruce said. “He said he’s not totally sure that he never wants to get married. He’s been pursuing you all week with the full court press. If deep down he didn’t want to be with you, why would he bother doing all that?”
“I don’t know,” Shari mumbled. “Maybe because he likes to win?”
“Nah.” Her father waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. “You’ve given him the out. You told him, ‘Why stay together if we’re going to have to end it.’ That is a free ticket to Freedomville if he wanted it, right there. He could’ve said, ‘You know what, you’re right, it was nice knowing you,’ and left. But he didn’t.”
Shari stared at her father. “Yeah. You’re right. He could have left, and he hasn’t.”
“Honey,” Bruce said soothingly, “sometimes it takes our heads a little longer to catch up with our hearts. Plus, he’s a guy, and we can be a little dense sometimes.”
Shari chuckled at that. “You’ve never been dense a day in your life.”
“Sure I have! Go ask your mother, she’ll tell you!” He laughed along with her. “But seriously, Shari. He’s not letting go. His heart obviously doesn’t want to let go of you. Maybe he’s not ready for marriage right now, but he could be later. He might change his mind about that, because from where I’m sitting, the man obviously loves you. Maybe you need to give him a chance to get there, you know?”
Shari’s heart stuttered in her chest. Her father, as almost always, was right. She thought about the conversations they’d had, the tense arguments . . . Evan kept trying to have a face-to-face meeting to talk, and she kept brushing him off. Because deep, deep down, he wasn’t the only one who was scared. She was scared, too— of how much she loved him and wanted to be with him, and what if he didn’t feel the same way? She couldn’t bear having to look him in the eye as he told her that.
But he hadn’t stopped trying. As he’d sworn, he didn’t give up. He did everything he knew how to show her that he loved her. Those Chanukah gifts weren’t just tokens to win her affections, like wine or chocolate or something general. Those gifts took forethought and effort. Each one had a special meaning. He’d thought about their best times together and made sure she remembered them.
He kept telling her how much he missed her, that he still loved her, that he wanted to make it work . . . and she was so afraid of further heartache, she’d kept him away. And the other truth was, she wasn’t ready to get married right away, either. She’d just wanted to know it was an option for the future. Maybe she had to take a leap of faith and believe they’d work it out as they were meant to, as her dad suggested.
They. For her to say they could work it out—he had tried. She hadn’t. She hadn’t worked at a solution, or made any effort, like he had. In fact, thinking back on her behavior now, while it hadn’t been done consciously, she’d acted like a child. She wouldn’t even let him talk to her. All he’d asked for, every day, was a chance to see her in person so they could talk things out, and she’d denied him that at every turn. Her eyes slipped shut as she cringed inside. “Ohhh, I messed up,” she whispered.
“You both did,” her father said flatly. “Seems like he keeps trying to fix it. What are you going to do to fix it? Do you want to fix it?”
“Yes!” Her eyes opened to look at him. “But I don’t know if I can. What if it’s too late? He sounded so hurt this morning, even through texts, that I’d left without seeing him to say good-bye. What if he gets all huffy now, like I’ve been? Or pushes me away again?”
“Only one way to find out. Take that phone and call him, Lawyer Lady.” Bruce rolled his eyes. “Sheesh. For a woman who went to Tufts and Columbia, you’re being a real dope.”
“You’re so right.” She laughed and moved in for a hug. “Thank you for helping me see it differently. More clearly.”
His arms wrapped around her and he dropped a kiss on her head. “Glad I could help. I’d wish you luck, but something tells me you won’t need much.”
She pulled back and asked, “You think so?”
He nodded. “Any man who goes all out like that? He loves you a lot. I’d bet the house on it.”
“God, Dad, I hope you’re right.”
The doorbell pealed then, echoing through the house.
“Who the hell could that be?” Bruce wondered, rising from the couch. “I got it,” he called back to the den as he headed for the front door.
Shari reached over to the coffee table for her phone and texted Evan.
Hi. I’d love to talk if you’re available. Call me or text me when you can, please. I don’t care how late. I need to hear your voice. I love you.
“Shari,” her father said with a strange grin as he reentered the living room. “Someone’s here to see you.”
Evan stepped in from behind him. Snow was melting in his dark hair, clinging to his beard and his black wool coat. His warm brown eyes widened a bit as they focused on her. “I’m not being a stalker or anything . . . I just had to see you. If you’ll just listen—”
She jumped up from the couch and threw herself into his arms, holding tight.
His arms immediately wrapped around her. He buried his face in her hair and murmured, “Oh, thank God.”
Bruce quietly walked out of the room.
“I thought you’d be mad at me,” Evan said, not letting her go. “Just showing up here like this. But I couldn’t wait all weekend for you to come back. I didn’t want to lose any more time. I’ve been thinking, and I—”
“I’ve been thinking, too,” she said. She pulled back enough to look into his eyes, but didn’t release him. “Now I’m the one who owes you an apology. I was being kind of a brat.”
“No, you weren’t.” His eyes sparked. “Well, maybe a little. But it’s because I hurt you, and I—”
“You’ve apologized plenty,” she said. “I just wasn’t ready to accept it before. I have now. And I’m sorry, too.” He looked so handsome. He was there. She ran her hands over his jaw. His beard was wet from where snowflakes had melted. “I was mad at you for shutting me out when you were upset . . . then I did exactly that to you. Which makes me a jackass.”
He laughed. “I love that word. It’s not used enough these days.”
“Well, I just did, and it’s true.” She stared at him. “I can’t believe you’re here. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“You are?” His voice and eyes went soft. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear you say that.”
“I wasn’t giving you an ultimatum,” she said.
“I know that now,” he said. “I thought about it, and I realized. But honey, I don’t want to lose you. There’s got to be some middle ground we can find.”
“Yes, because I don’t want to lose you, either,” she said, looking into his eyes. “The truth is, I’m not ready to get married right now. But . . . I just wanted to know it was a possibility.”
“Anything is possible,” he said. His fingers lifted to caress her cheek. “I just know I want to be with you, and I’m in this for the long haul. Whatever happens in the future . . . it’ll happen. But I know I want you to be the one there with me. I love you that much. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Shari. I mean it.”
“I love you that much, too,” she whispered. “Kiss me already.”
He crushed his mouth to hers in a passionate kiss and sifted his fingers through her hair, holding her close. She kissed him back with all the love and adoration she felt soaring through her, relief and joy making her heart beat faster.
“God, I missed you,” he whispered against her lips, nipping and kissing.
“I missed you, too,” she whispered back.
They stood locked in an embrace, kissing and touching and whispering words of love and forgiveness, until her mother’s voice cut in to their little romantic bubble. “Are you hungry, Evan? Take off your coat, stay a while. We still have latkes and some roasted chicken. I’ll heat some up for you.”
He pulled away from Shari with a broad smile to turn to her. “Mrs. Cohen, that would be fantastic. I’m starving, actually.”
“All right, I’ll go do that.” She smiled back at him. “Nice to meet you, by the way.” She looked over to her daughter. “You want more, too?”
“Sure, why not?” Shari said. She watched her mother walk away, then smiled up at Evan with pure elation. “Happy Chanukah, huh?”
He chuckled and kissed her again. “Yup. Happy Chanukah. I think we just got our Chanukah miracle.”
“The only oil in this house is in the latkes,” she quipped.
“Close enough.” He gazed down at her lovingly. “You’re my miracle, Shari. You are. What we have together, and what we’re going to have.”
“I’m no miracle,” she scoffed, but her insides felt like they’d filled with warm light from his heartfelt words.
“You are to me,” he whispered.