The oblique afternoon sun streamed through the open doors of the salotto, washing papà and Bruno in golden light. I sat down on the sofa near Bruno.
“We’ll need to make an investment if we’re to start with new vines in the south vineyard,” Bruno was saying.
Papà shook his head. “I’d have to take a large loan or find investors. Either way I’d lose control.” I saw that Bruno was disappointed.
“Sir, you have a great deal of land, but no capital to develop it. Any new venture requires capital. What other options do you see?”
I knew Bruno was right, but papà seldom changed his ideas no matter how persuasive the reasons for doing so. “Papà, maybe you should consider what Bruno is saying more carefully.”
Papà slammed his fist down. “As long as I have breath in my body, I won’t allow anyone else to take control of Vino Marcheschi.”
Bruno shrugged and turned to me. “Tanti auguri, cara. Would you like to open your birthday presents now?” He went out of the room and returned with two large boxes, both black and tied with wide gold ribbon. I knew they came from a very expensive shop.
“I thought you went to Firenze to sell wine.”
“I did!” Bruno laughed. “These are the profits!” Inside the box was a purse with gleaming gold hardware. It smelled of new leather. In one of the finely stitched interior pockets there was a leather-backed mirror. I knew it had cost more than any gift I had ever received.
“It’s beautiful.” I stood up and put the handle over my arm. “How does it look?”
“Bellissima. Like you.” Bruno handed me another box. Inside was a pair of matching pumps. “For when we do business in America.”
I ran my fingers over the buttery leather. “They’re very beautiful, but much too expensive.” I meant more than the price.
“Nothing is too good for you,” Bruno said. “Try them on.” The soft leather shaped itself to my flesh and bones so easily. I wanted to keep them, but I understood the meaning of such gifts, gifts that reflected Bruno’s ambitions, his assumptions about my role in fulfilling them, gifts with a message about how I would live and what my future would be. “I want you to have beautiful things to go with our beautiful life together.” He raised his glass. “Always.”
I knew I should kiss Bruno then, but that doing so would affirm my consent not only to becoming Bruno’s wife, but also to accepting a role that had already been defined for me, my consent to more than I could name. I took off the shoes and put the gifts back in their boxes. “They’re much too beautiful for a university student.”
“We have more important things to discuss tonight,” papà said quickly. He removed the faceted glass stopper from the decanter, poured the wine, and then raised his glass. “To the two of you and to our future. Both of you make me very happy today.” He sipped the wine and then turned to me. “Bruno has asked me for your hand, Fina. I’m pleased to give my permission and my blessing to both of you and to your marriage.” I felt my life moving on without my will. In the light that poured into the room, Bruno’s stiff white shirt seemed cast from pale bronze. Papà took another sip of his wine. “You have always been my devoted and obedient daughter, cara, and you bring me the most happiness of all of my children.” I recoiled at the word obedient. “You’ll be rewarded for your devotion.” It seemed to me that he was talking about someone else, someone not in that room. “I’m growing older and I need your help here.”
My heart raced. “I want to go to university first.”
Papà looked surprised. He cleared his throat. “We cannot always do everything we imagine we want to do.”
“Not everything. Just university.”
“It’s time for you to learn about our business. I’ve already discussed this with Bruno.”
“But not with me!”
Papà’s hand tightened into a fist, his knuckles whitened. “Bruno has asked me for your hand. That is what is proper.” Papà inhaled slowly and then went on. “Together you will make a happy marriage like mine. You will be our assistant, Fina. Our future together is assured. What could be better than that?”
Bruno reached out to me. “Fina, I’m so happy and….”
I felt something close in on me, something that prevented me from breathing. “You planned that I will do what mamma did. Is that what you mean?” I said.
Bruno looked surprised. “Isn’t that what we’ve always said?”
“I don’t want to do what mamma did. I want to go to university and then teach history.”
Bruno and papà glanced at one another. Bruno turned to me. “You mean you want to leave Orvieto?” I nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me this before now? I would have made very different decisions.”
“I did.” In the silence that followed, a bird sang in the garden. The fragrance of jasmine wafted on a stray breeze. I put my hand in my pocket and squeezed mamma’s rosary, fastened my eyes on the stitching on Bruno’s shirt, followed it up to his shoulder, then to his collar just under his chin, just below his mouth where his words would come out. He’ll say something soon.
“Basta!” papà said. Enough! “Your job is to take care of your family and your husband. This is God’s will. I’ve been patient and so has Bruno.” Patient? How had they been patient? “If you love me, you’ll do as I say.” I felt weightless, a leaf in a whirlwind.
“I want to go to university. That’s all.”
“Cretina!” Idiot! papà said. “How could you help your husband and me if you aren’t here?”
“Later, when I come back.” I didn’t really know.
“This is all you have to say?” Bruno’s voice sounded cold and distant. “Just that you’re going away?”
What more could I say? “I received honors on my exams, and—”
“University.” Bruno seemed to summon the word from all of the obscure and distant places he had ever heard of. “Why would you go to a place that isn’t good for you?” How does he know this when I don’t? I wondered.
If they understand how important this is to me, they will change their minds. “I’m sure it’s good,” I said before they could take more away from me. I studied the weave of my napkin, the threads that went in opposite directions. “University is a perfect place for me to….”
“You’re unrealistic. Nothing is perfect,” Bruno said.
“I mean for me.” Surely, I know more about this one thing than he does. “I thought you and papà would be proud of me.”
“Me, me, me. That’s all you think about!” Bruno voice was cold and hard. “You knew that we were supposed to become fidanzati tonight.” I watched his mouth, afraid that the anger and the disappointment in his eyes would weaken my determination. “You have no right to betray me like this. I thought you cared more about us. About me. Instead, you led me on.”
It was the first time I felt truly angry at Bruno. “Does love mean only that I must marry you when you decide or work in the winery because the two of you have discussed it? Why does love mean that only I must give up what I want to do?”
“We had an understanding and you’ve violated it,” Bruno said.
“No! You betrayed me!” My voice was so loud that it seemed as if someone else had spoken for me, someone who was certain. “You’re just angry because I have plans of my own.”
“If you don’t accept Bruno’s proposal, he’ll marry someone who has more sense than you do,” papà said. Was this what Signora Lucarelli meant?
Bruno stood up. “I can still change my plans.” He nodded at papà and went out. The front door slammed behind him and then the courtyard gate.
“Idiota! You’ve ruined our lives,” papà said. My heart throbbed. Loose. Fast. Without brakes.