Chapter Twenty-Five

 

 

 

The warm May morning was perfect, well as far as the weather was concerned. Not a single cloud in the sky, the temperature was already warm enough to go without a jacket, and it wasn’t even ten a.m. yet.

For once, the weatherman had been right and it should be up in the high seventies by afternoon and nothing but perfectly blue skies. Too bad Charlie didn’t feel as great in her skin as the sun felt against it.

The last couple of nights she’d slept with Trevor snuggled close, but Kegan hadn’t joined them. She could hear him come in late at night and try to be quiet when he snuck into his old room, but Charlie knew.

She would wait for the sounds of the back door then his footsteps on the stairs. It wasn’t until she heard him settle into his room that she allowed herself to drift off to a fretful sleep. It wasn’t exactly the security she needed, but at least she felt somewhat better knowing he was at least in for the night.

Charlie did her best to return the comfort Trevor offered. She knew she wasn’t the only one missing Kegan. Trevor had tried to get Kegan to talk to him more than once but would ultimately throw his hands up in frustration and walk off in a huff. It wasn’t new for the two of them to have a rough go telling each other how they felt, but she thought this time might be a little different and sympathized with Trevor’s growing uneasiness.

It was getting so bad she was afraid to poke at anything too deeply, scared shitless that if she did, heartache and pain would drown them all. Yet at the same time, she wished something would happen. Anything. Living in limbo was hell in its own right, unable to go back and change wrongs, but none of them seemed to know how to move forward.

Charlie leaned against the door of the barn waiting for Cade to finish with his chores. He’d promised her he’d help get her up to speed on all she had missed when she felt better. Trevor wasn’t happy she was in the barn this morning but if she had to spend one more minute sitting on her ass moping, or worse yet, watch Trevor do the same, she’d pull her hair out.

“Jesus, Charlie, not only have you got two hot and sexy cowboys in the house, now you’re keeping some in the barn too. No wonder I can’t find one, you greedy bitch.”

Charlie couldn’t help but laugh at Rae’s mock glare as she walked up, put her arm around her shoulder and bumped their hips together.

“Hey, Rae. Did you come all this way to visit me or just to ogle the eye candy? Wait, never mind, stupid question.”

“The eye candy,” they said in unison and laughed easily.

Rae hoisted up the large pink-and-brown striped bag she carried. “I got manicure and pedicure supplies, and fat-ass snacks that are so decadent they’ll wipe out any depressing thought you’ve ever had.” She winked with a slight smile. “And if that don’t work, I got us enough fuzzy navel fixings to have us singing old show tunes and wiggling our asses until the Fourth of July.”

“I’m so about that. But since I’m already wiggling to the pain med dance, I’ll have to settle for drowning in decadents and virgin fuzzy navels. How about I introduce you to the eye candy and then we can head up and hide in my room with your little bag—uh, big bag of wicked goodies.”

“Oh yeah, lead the way, oh queen of hot man flesh.”

Charlie laughed and led her best friend toward Cade, Rae’s tongue wagging all the way. “Hey, Cade, got someone who wants to meet you.”

Cade tipped his hat back and wiped his hands on an old rag as he headed over to them.

“Rachel, this is Cade Jamison. Cade, meet my sometimes sane friend, Rachel Lang.”

Cade reached out and took Rae’s outstretched hand, but instead of shaking it, he brought her hand to his lips and tipped his hat at her with the other. “Pleasure to meet you, Miss Rachel.”

Charlie nearly busted a gut at the look on Rae’s face. The way she swayed a little and flushed at his greeting, one would think she’d never had anyone kiss her hand before. Charlie gave her a nudge to get her to focus before she started sputtering.

“Oh. Ah. Hi… Jesus, don’t do that and then expect me to use my brain for anything intelligent like talk.”

Too late.

“Well, I’ll just have to make sure I try it again sometime if that’s the reaction I can expect.” Cade chuckled. The deep tone of it told Charlie that Rae wasn’t the only one affected.

Rae blushed nice and pink and stared at the man as if he’d just told her the secret to the universe and he was it.

No way. Rae blushing? That has to be a first.

Charlie looked back and forth between them, tickled as all hell. “Rae, shut your mouth before you attract the flies. And you, Mr. Cade, stop trying to distract Rae. We have a date with fuzzy navels. Can I take a rain check on getting back up to speed on things?”

Rae clamped her mouth shut but the silly expression on her face remained, along with an awed sparkle in her eyes. Cade recovered a wee bit better but he still didn’t take his eyes off Rae.

“Uh, yeah sure, Charlie. I’d hate to keep two beautiful ladies from their date with peaches. I can get you caught up in no time. You haven’t missed a lot.”

“Thanks, Cade.” She pulled a reluctant Rae back toward the door.

Cade tipped his hat again and drawled real nice and sweet, “Truly was nice meeting you, Miss Rachel. Sure hope I get the pleasure again real soon.”

Rae stared back at him and nodded her head like a fool as Charlie forced her out of the barn. Charlie reached over and wiped Rae’s chin. “You’re drooling.”

Rae blinked at her a couple of times with a dazed expression on her face then visibly shuddered. “Shut up,” she grumbled and swatted at Charlie.

They both cracked up. For Charlie it was like a balm to her soul and she slung her arm over Rae’s shoulder and led her to the house, feeling better than she had in days.

Charlie and Rae spent the next two hours painting toe and fingernails as she filled Rae in on every detail she knew about Cade. She had a good feeling that it wouldn’t be the last time the two of them would cross paths. They were both great people and she could so totally see them together. Why in the hell hadn’t she thought of hooking them up before?

It wasn’t until Charlie had blue toenails with little pink polka dots and matching fingers in a reverse pattern before the conversation turned to her relationship with Kegan and Trevor.

“The bruising has started to fade. How are you really feeling?” Rae asked as they sat together against the headboard, legs stretched out to let the ugly nail polish dry. “And I don’t want the I’m fine version you try to lay on everyone else.”

“I’m not sure if the yellow coloring is much of an improvement over the black. I think it might clash with the color of my eyes,” Charlie responded, ignoring Rae’s order.

“Nah, you still have enough dark color under your eyes that it sets them off nicely.” Rae stared at her expectantly, no doubt waiting for Charlie to tell her how she really was. When Charlie remained silent and only smiled, Rae rolled her eyes. “Okay whatever. So when you gonna resume horsey duties?”

“Hell, I’m more than ready now. You know how I hate just sitting around. I’m going stir-crazy, but if it were up to Trevor, he’d have me stuck in bed twenty-four-seven and not in a good way. I swear, Rae, the man would carry me from room to room if I’d let him.”

“I say enjoy it while you can. You’ll be up to your elbows in mares soon enough.” Rae gave her a sidelong glance. “I wouldn’t have pegged Trevor for the nurturing type. Figured he was more like the commander and Kegan would be more the one making a big domestic fuss over you.”

The mention of Kegan pushed aside some of the good mood Rae had created in Charlie and slapped her nice and hard in the chest like a sucker punch. The reminder of his absence was enough to take her from giggling and happy to sad and misty-eyed in seconds flat.

God, she missed him so much. Missed waking up to his silly, eager grin each morning, the way he looked for her during the day to sneak a kiss or a hug. She loved the way he and Trevor used to wrap around her each night and stroke her gently until she drifted off to sleep.

“Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

“I asked how Kegan was taking all this, seeing as it was his dad. He’s got to be devastated, poor guy.”

Charlie wished like hell she could get back to the happy buzz, but that wasn’t likely to happen now. “I heard Trevor say that Kegan insisted on paying to have Drake buried. Nothing fancy, but he paid the cost of what the county would have had to. Trevor didn’t sound like he was too happy about it, but then again, I’m sure Kegan wasn’t either. Guess he wouldn’t have felt right about others having to pay for the bastard.”

“Did you ask him about it?”

Charlie scooted from the bed, swaying a little. She suddenly couldn’t stand the thought of being in the bed she shared with Kegan and Trevor. The walls began to close in on her, the air heavy and thick, making it difficult to take a deep breath.

Suddenly the room started shaking, and she thought maybe she’d gotten up too quickly until she realized that it wasn’t the room that shook but her own shoulders. She found herself wrapped in Rae’s hug, head resting on her shoulder as she gave into the sobs that wracked her body. She let every last tear slide down her face and cleanse her of the pain, anguish and the hellish nightmare of Drake.

Rae stayed wrapped around her while she revealed how Kegan hadn’t been there when she’d woken up in the hospital and had avoided her at all costs since. Every bad feeling and fear she had kept bottled up tumbled out, and Rae took it all until there was nothing but an uneasy kind of peace and a hint of exhaustion that might just promise a serene rest.

She let Rae support her until she was finally able to make some clear choices and understood that as bad as she wanted things to be like they had been before Drake had come back into their lives, it wasn’t going to happen.

With that realization came the decision that she couldn’t stay there any longer with the way things were. As much as her leaving would hurt Trevor, she would never ask him to choose between her and Kegan, and that was exactly what she was doing by staying.

Running away wasn’t a great decision, would devastate her physically and emotionally, but what other choice did she have?

Staying in Kegan’s home and forcing him to work from morning to night to avoid her just didn’t seem fair to either of them. Everything at the ranch was a reminder of him and all she had lost.

Charlie didn’t want to leave, but it was time.