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On the thirtieth of May, the Steele’s were finally able to welcome delayed baby boy Idris into the world. His birthday, however, was anything but a family affair. Hailey, now that the day was finally here, was surprised that she was actually quite terrified. She was also overwhelmed and apprehensive watching Savannah and Asa stand in the corner of the hospital room, anxiously waiting while Hailey prepared to receive her epidural.
“It’s alright.” Andy, the anesthesiologist, spoke softly to Hailey, after noticing the girl jump from the swipe of antiseptic solution on the mid-back area of her waistline. “Just breathe deeply; I’ll take care of everything else,” he said kindly. Andy glanced quickly up from his work to look over at the Steeles. “Are either of you the coach? She will need to lean forward into your supported arms for this next part.” When Asa and Savannah looked wide eyed at each other, Andy cleared his throat, “its fine.” He leaned over Hailey’s shoulder and spoke directly to her again, “just lie on your side for me, OK, Hailey?”
Hailey nodded at his encouragement, took deep breaths, and did as she was instructed, glancing quickly over at the Steeles. When her hands started to shake, she balled them up, clutched the sheet tighter to her chest, and just stared at the closed door of her private room wishing she could get up and walk out. Asa, uncomfortable with Hailey’s discomfort as well as the tension in the room, squeezed Savannah’s hand and excused himself, mumbling something about needing a cup of coffee.
That morning, Savannah had been at a fundraising event and Asa was just about to walk into the church sanctuary when Manny texted them both and told them Hailey believed she was going into labor. Dressed for an afternoon brunch and speech at a five star hotel, Savannah stood in a three piece dark blue silk suit, detailed with rhinestones and matching hat. Her eyes were on Hailey’s round belly, watching the natural progression of childbirth. I should probably call my sisters, Savannah thought to herself. They will want to know. Swallowing, she rubbed a hand down her flat, trim waistline and looked toward the window. Savannah took off her hat, set it and her matching clutch bag on the counter, and walked across the window to open the blinds.
“That’s it,” Andy said, gently patting Hailey on the back of her shoulder, “all done.”
Hailey nodded and breathed deeply out of her mouth.
“I’ve taped the tube to your back, Hailey, so you can move a bit. You should start to feel the effects in about ten minutes, maybe twenty. There should be no issue, but I’ll be back to check on you in a bit,” he said with a smile, rounded the bed, and left. Hailey lay on her side, breathing deeply while Savannah stood looking out of the window. The drip of IV fluids was easily heard in the quiet of the room.
Interestingly, both women were once again, lost in parallel thoughts. Both acknowledging to themselves, if not to each other, that this day was not what they thought it would be. Hailey, used to the normal El Paso life of marriage and babies, not necessarily in that order, had seen this day as nothing more than a means to an end; a small, nine month sacrifice to get her to her true goal of attending college; something she didn’t see happening on her own or at least not for a really long time if she had to do it herself. The arrangement she had with the Steeles was supposed to be a simple business transaction; they each get what they wanted. She had no idea that on this day, she would begin to actually feel anticipation at the baby’s arrival; curious if he would look anything like her and, most shocking, protective, as she found herself wondering if the epidural would have an adverse effect on him.
Savannah, too, thought this day would go a different way. She also saw this as a business transaction, but even with that, she didn’t expect to feel so isolated or so unnecessary. She looked down at her trim figure, clad in a flattering pencil skirt, then looked over at Hailey’s huddled mass under the sheet and something just felt wrong. For years, she’d imagined what she’d seen on television and what she’d experienced with the birth of her nieces and nephews. She was actually in the delivery room with Kate when her youngest nephew was born because Kate’s husband was out of town when she went into labor. That day was so warm. Not the weather, but the feeling; the atmosphere. Although Kate was uncomfortable, there was still laughter, support and joy. And as much as Savannah loved and supported her sister, she longed for the day when she would hear Asa shouting encouraging words to her; telling her to push and that she was doing a good job bringing their baby into the world.
With a struggle doing battle within, Savannah looked over at Hailey. She wanted, really wanted to comfort a young girl that was scared and alone; it was her nature, her passion, but she couldn’t help but admit the war with her own selfish and bitter desire that she were the one in that bed about to deliver Asa’s baby. Another stab of unease hit her at what she’d asked all of them to do.
Sighing, Savannah walked slowly around the bed and placed a hesitant hand on the balled fist Hailey was still making in the sheet. Watching the girl take deep breaths, Savannah cautiously smiled at her.
Hailey, however, was unsure of Savannah’s motives. Throughout the pregnancy both women’s emotions and actions were roller coaster rides; both up and down at different times, neither really on the same glide path for too long or for too often. But, anxiety got the better of her and Hailey looked up at Savannah, offering her own tentative smile.
*****
“IT’S A BOY!” DR. HALPER exclaimed to a delivery room filled with nurses, the Steeles, and of course, an exhausted Hailey, still breathing heavily from labor. Dr. Halper handed the baby to the nurse who took him over to the warmer. Asa, tie long removed, but in slacks, a dress shirt unbuttoned at the neck and un-tucked from his pants, continued filming and walked up behind the nurse as she gently, but thoroughly, suctioned the baby’s nose and throat. She then gave the baby an injection of Vitamin K and put ointment in his eyes. “Can he see me,” Asa asked quietly, reaching out a finger to touch his son’s toes. The nurse smiled over her shoulder at him, “At birth, they have full visual capacity and can see up to about a foot, maybe a foot and a half. But, you’re pretty close to me right now,” she said laughing because Asa was hovering so near to what she was doing, “So, I’m pretty sure he can see you.”
Savannah, standing beside Hailey, watched Asa as he looked in awe at his newborn son. She glanced down at Hailey and saw her looking over to the warming table, trying to get a glimpse of the baby even while Dr. Halper encouraged her to push out the placenta. Savannah, still somewhat at war with herself, especially now, after noticing Hailey’s longing look in Asa’s direction, took another deep breath to try to override her own pangs of loneliness. She touched Hailey’s shoulder to get her attention and encouraged her to push out the after birth.
“Here it comes,” Dr. Halper said with satisfaction, ordering the injection that would help Hailey’s uterus contract. With that, Savannah stood straight and clasped her hands in front of her, waiting for the next steps. The nurse handed a swaddled baby over to Asa’s as he scrambled to put his phone down and take his son into his arms. He stood looking down at him before turning with a smile. The room parted on its own accord to allow him access to the bed; Hailey lay looking over at the two of them, anxious to get a glimpse of the boy. Asa stepped forward and paused. He glanced up and over at Savannah and instead of moving toward the empty side of the bed, he headed to the side where his wife stood. Hailey, blinking rapidly, swallowed and watched the Steele family with a shaky smile.
“Congratulations, Savannah, Asa,” Dr. Halper said standing. He rose from his stool, pulled his gloves off, and softly patted Hailey’s knee with a gentle smile on his lips before he left the room.
*****
ASA AND SAVANNAH HAD already agreed the best choice for the baby would be breastfeeding, so, with Hailey’s concession, they amended the contract late in the pregnancy, in order to include breastfeeding immediately following Idris’ birth. To support this decision, Hailey had taken to pumping her breasts regularly and stocking the kitchen with an ample supply of milk. It wasn’t an original part of the agreement because no one had thought of that when the contract was drafted. Hailey hadn’t minded the amendment, though; she agreed with the Steeles and wanted what was best for the baby. Savannah saw feeding as a chance to bond and to see if she could begin to feel a connection or involvement in the baby’s life since she’d felt distant and isolated during the pregnancy and birth.
They’d all gotten into a relatively smooth rhythm. Savannah, having spent so many years with her nieces and nephews, never considered she would have any difficulty caring for an infant. However, the youngest of her nephews, Devon, was six now, and it turned out, Savannah was a bit out of practice. That, coupled with the struggle she was having with her feelings, made for an awkward first few months.
Hailey, young and not expecting to have a child for many years, was trying to get used to the changes in her body and need to pump breast milk so frequently. It was an aspect of child birth to which she hadn’t given much thought; being the sole nutritional provider to a baby she thought she would simply hand over after birth. She was having conflicting emotions because it was odd to incorporate pumping and storing breast milk for Idris into her daily household chores. It was also a challenge to reconcile unexpected maternal feelings with her excitement at starting her first semester in college.
Months after Idris’ delivery, Savannah was walking up to the nursery with his morning bottle, wondering if she’d warmed it enough. She rounded the corner of the nursery, however, and stopped in her tracks. The scene took her breath away and shook her more than anything she would have expected. Hailey was sitting in the rocking chair under the window. Streams of sunlight bathed her and Idris in a soft warm glow while she breast fed him. Hailey smiled down at him, patting his bottom, looking surprised at his greedy sucking. Savannah, however, involuntarily clutched one hand to her flat tummy, clutched the bottle to her chest, and took a few deep breaths to calm her unexpected heart race.
Savannah must have gasped because Hailey looked up from cooing the boy and saw her. “Oh, Mrs. Steele, I’m sorry.” Hailey stood awkwardly, causing Idris to unlatch from her breast. The baby immediately started crying as Hailey awkwardly tried to cover herself while also trying to quiet Idris. “I was walking past the door and he was crying and I thought since I was right here,” Hailey said, continuing to bounce the baby, trying to soothe him as she crossed the nursery to hand him over to Savannah.
“No,” Savannah said, stopping her. “It’s OK.” Idris continued to wail, oblivious to the two women trying to find their perspective places in an uncomfortable situation. “Just finish feeding him. I know he’s hungry. I must have taken too long...” she trailed off, glancing at the bottle in her hand, then at Hailey’s full breast, still wet from Idris’ feeding.
“Ah, yes, ma’am. I’m sorry.”
Savannah shook herself and, as was her position lately, fought against her sense of loneliness and distance. “No, it’s fine,” Savannah said a little harsher than she wanted. Hailey flinched slightly at the tone and Savannah tried to reel in her emotions. “He’s hungry and as you said, you were here and can meet his immediate need.” Savanna added quietly, taking one last look at the two and left the room.
*****
SAVANNAH SPENT THE rest of that morning in her sitting room. She was supposed to attend a meeting with the Vote to Voice group, in preparation for the upcoming elections, but she just didn’t have it in her to give. The struggle between needing to talk to someone and not wanting to admit her true feelings, was causing her, Savannah Steele, woman for the women, to hide in her home.
After telling Maria she wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t make the meeting, she’d turned off all notifications. A few hours, and a nap on the couch later, she didn’t feel much better so she reached over and grabbed her cell phone off of the coffee table. Resting it on her chest, she crossed her legs at the ankle and continued to recline on the sofa, scrolling through multiple messages. One recent message was from Paris, and although she was still feeling vulnerable, her need to reach out to someone pulled her to answer the text.
Savannah – Hey, Paris.
Paris—Hey. I thought you were going to meet me for an early lunch.
Savannah—Was that today? Savannah frowned; surprised she’d forgotten a lunch date.
Paris—Ah, yea. You said you were going to be downtown for a meeting and would text me when you were done. I wanted to try that new Thai restaurant.
Savannah—Oh, right. I’m sorry. I didn’t go in today.
There was a pause before Paris answered.
Paris—Why not?
Savannah was still not sure if she could give voice to her feelings. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to admit her feelings to herself. Sitting up on the couch, she curled her legs under her, rested a shoulder against the back of the sofa, and looked out the window at the gardens. She finally signed and typed a response to Paris.
Savannah—I didn’t feel well.
Another long pause before Paris answered. Savannah was about to get up and get something to eat when the phone rang with Paris’ bright, beautiful face on the screen.
Sighing, Savannah leaned heavily against the back of the sofa again and hesitated before she answered. Thinking it would only make it worse if she didn’t answer, she tapped the answer button.
“Yes,” Savannah said.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just didn’t feel well.”
“Ahhuun...” Paris said.
Savannah didn’t answer, but looked out the window again, surprised at the sting in her eyes.
“What is it, Vannah?”
Savannah swallowed and took another long moment to look out at the gardens. “I think I made a mistake, Paris,” she whispered into the phone.
Paris didn’t answer for a moment and Savannah feared the pause would be followed by an ‘I told you so.’ Savannah was just about to hang up to avoid hearing the words, when Paris responded, “I’m sorry sweetie.” She said quietly.
The empathy Savannah felt through the phone was so overwhelming and so unexpected that tears sprang to her eyes. She took a couple of deep breaths and told Paris about the morning’s episode in the nursery.
Paris listened with very little interruption and let Savannah say everything that had been bottled up inside of her.
“And the irony,” Savannah said, several moments later, “Was that I took it out on Asa.”
“What do you mean?”
“A few months back I screamed at him that it was his fault.”
Paris paused again.
“Yes,” Savannah said quickly, “I know, I know. I was in full crazy mode and he didn’t deserve it.” Savannah took a deep breath. “This was all me.” Savannah looked up at the ceiling. “All of it has been me. And you want to know something funny?”
“What’s that, honey?” Paris asked softly.
“Over the past year,” Savannah started, looking out at the gardens again, “No, wait, over the past fifteen years,” she corrected, “I’ve taken charge of this baby thing. I did just what I tell other women to do; take charge of their lives. In the beginning, I just took it for granted that Asa and I would just have a baby; we were young, so why shouldn’t I expect we would have a baby. But then it didn’t happen and everyone,” Savannah got choked up admitting this to someone for the first time, “everyone was having children and kind of...” Savannah cleared her throat, “kind of just left Asa and me behind,” she admitted.
Grateful Paris didn’t interrupt, Savannah took a deep breath and continued. “So, I did what I do; I took charge again and we had tests, and trials, and methods, and all kinds of techniques to have one of our own. All the while, Asa is reminding me of his dream and telling me God is faithful and trustworthy and it will happen.” Savannah laughed without humor. “Despite all of that, I thought I knew what to do; I thought I knew what we needed to do to get the family we wanted.” Savannah shook her head and thought of the very real, very sweet and innocent baby that was just upstairs in her home, but to whom she felt very little, if any connection.
“But, now...” She sighed. Uncurling her legs from underneath of her, Savannah lay back down on the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. “What have I done, Paris?” Lifting her free arm, she covered her eyes with her hand, “and what do I do, now?” she finally asked quietly.
*****
AS IDRIS GREW, IT WAS clear he was a boy of the fields and countryside. Even though he was clever in his studies, he was rebellious, hot-headed, and mischievous. He loved running, hiking, climbing, hunting and fishing, all things Asa enjoyed at his age, but Savannah always thought were untamed and unrefined. One afternoon Idris and Asa had just returned from another of their many hunting trips and were in the stables wiping down the horses. Ike, one of the family’s stable hands, was reminding an impatient Idris about the importance of horse care and checking for pressure points where the saddle had been. Idris, usually very careful about grooming his horse Thor, was too excited today and wanted instead, to tell Ike about catching his first rabbit.
Laughing, Asa pulled his gloves off and nodded at Ben, one of the stable boys who’d just opened a stable for Asa’s horse, Iron. “Son, the rabbit is dead, but Thor still needs your attention. Tend to the horse, and then you can share your rabbit hunting adventures with Ike.”
“Yes, sir,” Idris replied begrudgingly.
Ben and Asa began unbridling Iron.
“Sounds like it was a good day,” Manny said, walking into the stables.
“Yes.” Asa said, pulling the reins over Iron’s head with a smile. He glanced over at his son jabbering on with Ike. “It was a good day.”
“That’s good.” Manny rubbed a hand over Iron’s neck, patting it affectionately. “Have you thought about the Rite of Passage Ceremony? It’s usually about this time.” Manny asked.
Pausing in his task, “I’d almost forgotten about that.” Asa looked over at Idris. “Yes. We need to make that happen.” Then, Asa looked over at Ben, “it’s a pastime for the household, actually.”
Young Ben, uncomfortable with Asa’s, and then Manny’s, gaze on him, shyly asked, “What’s a Rite of Passage Ceremony, sir?”
“Good that you asked, young squire,” Manny began.
Asa chuckled, quite familiar with the story, and undid Iron’s noseband and throat latch. “Idris,” he called with a big smile, “Come over here, son. You need to hear this.”
As Idris trotted over, Manny began his tale. “Many, many years ago, great-great grandpa Steele started a tradition between the Steele men and their sons when they turned thirteen. Regardless of status, all applicable men and boys in the household were required to participate.” Manny removed Iron’s saddle pad and looked pointedly at Ben, while Asa hefted the saddle onto the wooden rack.
“Everybody has to do it?” Ben asked, grabbing two curry combs. Handing one to Idris, the two boys began the grooming process. Asa wiped down the saddle and Manny idly hand combed through Iron’s mane, checking for ticks.
“Oh, no,” Manny said, “Not has to...” he said with a wink and a smile at Asa, “they get to. I’ve been privileged to witness and participate in Mr. Steele’s and his brothers’ ceremonies.”
“What do we have to...get to do,” Ben corrected quickly.
Laughing, “Well, young man, it’s different with every generation, but typically it involves dinner, a word of encouragement from the host, and an exercise.”
“An exercise?” Idris asked. “Like runnin’?”
Chuckling, his back still turned, “running,” Asa corrected, still wiping his saddle.
“No, not ‘runnin,’” Manny teased. “It’s a practical exercise; something akin to a simulated transition from boyhood to manhood.”
“Will it hurt?” Ben asked.
“If we do it right, it will,” Manny said. He and Asa both laughed at Idris and Ben’s startled and apprehensive expressions.
“No, boys,” Asa said, looking at them, “it won’t hurt physically. But the intent is to push young boys toward the responsibilities of manhood and to remind their fathers of their responsibility to help them get there.”
“This year, sir,” Manny said, “I have some ideas I’d like to run by you. See if you like it for the ceremony.”
“Sounds good,” Asa said. “We need to set a date within the next few months. This guy is already thirteen and we can’t let him turn fourteen without it.” Asa said reaching over and playfully grabbing Idris by the back of his neck to pull him in for a hug.
“And before young Ben over here,” Manny laughed, slapping an arm around Ben’s shoulder, “gets any older.”
Asa, looked down at Idris, his smile turning thoughtful.
“Sir,” Manny said, “a word, please?”
Asa looked up, startled out of his thoughts, “Sure. Boys, finish up both horses, I’ll be right back.”
“Yes, sir,” they said simultaneously, continuing to rub down Iron.
“What?” Asa asked on a sigh, as the two walked out of the stables and into the setting sunlight.
“You know what, Ace.”
Taking a deep breath, Asa led them over to the horse fence. The two leaned their forearms over the wooden fence and looked out over the horses that were still grazing.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Manny.”
“I want you to say you haven’t given up on God’s promise,” Manny said, scratching his jaw and putting a foot on the lowest rung of the fence rail.
“Manny,” Asa said, rubbing his hand over his bald head and scratching the back of his neck.
“I want you to say you haven’t given up on you and Savannah having a child of your own.”
When Asa said nothing, “I believed you when you said God showed you yours and Savannah’s child. Just because it was over twenty-five years ago doesn’t negate the promise. Does it?” he asked with a shrug. When Asa remained silent, “Savannah will give you a son, Ace. Savannah,” he emphasized.
Before Manny could say more, Asa was already laughing in his face. “Savannah?” Asa mocked, looking incredulously over at Manny. “Do you know how old Savannah is, Manny? Good Lord, man,” Asa continued to laugh.
“Yes. I do.” Manny patiently answered his rhetorical question.
“Forty-nine, Manny,” Asa answered anyway. “Savannah is forty-nine and I’m fifty-nine.”
When Manny said nothing Asa continued, “And believe me, every month she reminds me it’s another lost egg.” Asa shook his head and looked back out over the field. “It’s Idris. It’s only Idris.”
Manny remained silent.
Asa, forearms still resting on the top rail, dropped his head down between his arms with another sigh.
“I still believe Him, Ace.” Manny said quietly. “I believed then, and I believe now. You and Savannah will have a son.”
When Asa continued to keep his head between his arms, Manny continued. “Just because God promised you and Savannah a child, doesn’t mean Idris was a mistake. He’s going to become a great man, but,” Manny turned and put a hand on Asa’s shoulder to make him look up at him. When he did, “God’s vision,” he said, “Was of Ian, the son you will have with Savannah very soon.” Manny purposely used Asa’s great-great grandfather’s name. “Your faith may have been tried, but that doesn’t change what He said.”
Asa looked at Manny for a while, then nodded so slightly Manny would have missed it if he weren’t staring straight at him, “Help me prepare for the ceremony, please.” Asa said, suddenly very tired.
“Of course I will,” Manny said with a determined look and gentle smile.
*****
LATER THAT NIGHT, ASA walked out of the bathroom, fresh from his shower, to find Savannah had slipped into the room and was sitting up reading in bed.
“Hello, Beautiful,” Asa said, bending toward her and placing a lingering kiss on her lips.
“You were gone all day,” Savannah said when Asa walked away. “I thought I’d at least see you at dinner.”
“After the hunt with Idris, I decided to take a ride out to the meadow; check on those pretty little sheep we invested in last year.”
“Oh, really?” Savannah said, laying her book in her lap and taking off her reading glasses. “And you expect me to believe you don’t trust John out there with them?”
“No, no. John is great. I just thought I’d pop over.” Asa stood in his dressing closet choosing clothes for an early morning breakfast meeting the next day.
“I know it’s your ‘Thinking Grounds’ Asa,” Savannah said with a smile. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
Choosing his words carefully, “This afternoon, Manny reminded me about the Steele Rite of Passage Ceremony,” he said. When Savannah didn’t comment, “He’s going to plan so we can have it in the next two months.”
“I see,” Savannah said putting her glasses back on and looking down at her book.
Asa peeked his head out of his closet to look at Savannah. “Are you OK with that, honey?”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked, not looking up.
“I just wanted to make sure it fit into your schedule,” Asa said from inside the closet.
“Well,” Savannah said, “If I remember your brother’s ceremony for Neil about five years ago, it’s for men only.” She said, still looking at her book.
“True,” Asa said. He knew the distance between Savannah and Idris had grown wider over the years. He thought it began shortly after Savannah told him Hailey would personally breast feed the boy because she thought it was just more convenient. Asa thought that decision came out of nowhere, but, he figured she knew best, so he never questioned it. But, then as a toddler, when the three of them would do things together, Asa could feel the awkwardness radiating from Savannah and she always seemed to avoid activities that would be just the two of them. Asa pretty much figured all of that contributed to the reasons why the two never quite formed a relationship of their own. Eventually, Savannah just allowed herself to fall back into her routine; committee meetings and engagements began filling more and more of her days.
Asa finished in his dressing closet and padded over to the bed in a tee shirt and boxer shorts. He climbed into bed with his wife, leaned over and nuzzled her neck until she smiled and gave him her attention.
“That’s better, gorgeous,” Asa said, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her down into his arms.
Seeing Asa would not be deterred, Savanna laughed, took her glasses off, and put them and her book on her nightstand. She slid her arms around her husband’s shoulders and relaxed into his kiss and his tightening, seeking embrace.
*****
THE NIGHT OF THE RITE of Passage Ceremony came quickly and the Steele household filled with men of all ages and status. As tradition would have it, there were no women anywhere in the immediate vicinity of the night’s events; even the servers were all male. The plan was to honor sixteen boys in the ceremony that evening. Their expressions ranged from excitement, to wonder, to apprehension. After dinner, Asa, host for the evening, would lead everyone into the great hall where the practical exercise would begin, followed by Asa’s words of encouragement, and finally the commitment ceremony.
The practical exercise was called “Life’s Minefield.” The boys were led into the hall, blindfolded and barefoot, and were set to stand in front of a large, matted floor full of “traps.” Scattered throughout the mat, in various piles, were gravel, marbles, tacks, a couple of rather large, and very real rocks, grease stains, low-lit candle flames, and a few bear traps. The bear traps were improvised so they would not cause more than slight pressure if stepped on, but to get the full effect, everyone needed to believe they were real. On the other side of the “minefield” their father’s or guardians stood, clearly seeing the traps that could ensnare their sons. In a moment, the boys would be forced to make their way, blinded, through the field. Men who were not participating in the exercise sat, as witnesses, in folding chairs off to the side.
Asa walked up to the podium, “Good evening, gentlemen.” After their response Asa began. “Tonight we’re gathered to witness the simulated experience of young men walking through life on their own. This walk is one they will take alone; without men in their lives who could actively and purposefully guide and direct them around tough situations like: premarital sex, unplanned pregnancies, alcoholism, drugs, smoking, and just foolish decisions. Without us,” Asa said, pointing to his chest and then gesturing toward the sixteen men on the opposite side of the minefield, “They are blind and vulnerable, just as they are now.” Asa paused to look over at the group of blindfolded and barefooted young men, nervous and unsure of what was expected of them.
“Tonight, we will see what could happen to them when left to feel their way through those life challenges by themselves.”
Asa looked at the first father waiting for his son. “Paul, call your son to you. Push him out of the nest, on his own, and let’s see how he navigates his way through.”
Paul nervously looked at the life minefield and its hazards. Then, he looked up and across the floor at his son, the first boy in line, barefoot, blindfolded and clearly tense. “Jared,” he began in a loud voice, “come to me, son.”
Jared hesitated a moment, but knowing his friends were standing in line behind him, took a timid step forward. Stepping out, and only feeling gravel beneath his feat, he started to get a little confident and walked a bit faster to where he’d heard his father’s voice. Setting his foot down on a tack on his left, though, got him hopping on one leg and his father grimacing.
“Slow down, son.” Paul called to him. “It’s not a race. Just take your time.” Paul could see there were more dangerous traps just ahead of his son and he looked over at Asa. “Can I give him some direction?” he asked quickly as Jared began taking another step toward what Paul thought looked like a group of marbles.
At Asa’s nod, “Jared, move your right foot more to the left, son. Yea, place it down there and keeping walking in that direction.”
Jared got closer to the middle of the field, but from where he stood on the opposite sideline, Paul didn’t see an oily spot on the mat. Jared slipped, almost falling back onto one of the rock-boulders. Nervously, the boy regained his footing, but the incident caused him to become anxious and fearful and he picked up his pace again, ready for it to be over.
“Jared, stop!” Paul screamed at the boy, just before he stepped on one of the bear traps. Jared, afraid of whatever caused his father’s voice to sharpen, held is right leg still at his father’s command. Paul looked over to Asa, but Asa offered only a grim look. Paul, with a determined shake of his head, made up his mind, and called out, “Stay there, son. Don’t move.”
Paul navigated through the sharper, more intense traps on his side of the field and made his way toward his son. When he reached him, he grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to his chest. Jared leaned into his father with a sigh of relief. Paul then leaned down and whispered in his ear. When Jared nodded, Paul turned his back to him. Jared then put both hands on his father’s shoulders and listened to his father’s soft commands while Paul guided them around rocks, candle flames, tacks, and finally, out of the field. When father and son reached the end of the field, the witnesses stood on their feet in a thunderous applause as Paul turned and pulled his son into an engulfing bear hug.
Jared, returning his father’s embrace, pulled back slightly and, still holding on to his dad, pulled off his blindfold and looked over his shoulder to see the field he and his father just crossed. Asa nodded at the next father in line. Sam nodded back, but didn’t even bother to call to Tyler, but quickly crossed “Life’s Minefield” and led his son across the exact same way Paul just did. Finally, it was Asa’s turn to lead Idris safely to the other side. After all sixteen boys got safely across the “minefield” guided by their father’s direct leading and instruction. Asa then brought Idris up to the podium with him to give concluding remarks.
“That gentlemen, is what we should be doing as fathers; leading our sons through life to help them avoid the traps they can’t see. We can see them, though. Most, if not all of us, have even fallen into a few of them ourselves at their age.” Looking down at Idris and pulling him into his side with a grip on his neck. “Make no mistake, men. They need us. No matter what they may think or say as they push up against our authority, day, after day, after day,” Asa laughed, looking down and shaking Idris playfully. The boy grinned and hung his head into his father’s embrace.
“They cannot make it safely through life without us.” Asa concluded to the crowd. “I dare you to be who God has called us to be. We’ll make mistakes, but they need us to stay in the game.” Looking out over the men, Asa pointedly repeated, “Stay. In. The. Game.”
After a resounding round of applause, shouts of agreement, and many hugs, Asa made a gesture for Manny to have the commitment ceremony set up. The boys once again lined up in an opposite line facing their fathers and Asa called father and son up. Each father, already wearing a black leather bracelet, placed another around the wrist of their son, proclaiming, in their own words, their commitment to seeing them to manhood.
Asa, again, was the last with Idris. He wrapped the leather band around Idris’ wrist, “Idris, you are my son; never a mistake, but a gift from God our Father. You are a wild one,” Asa laughed, playfully cupping Idris cheek, “but you are a Steele and my blood. I will love you for the rest of my life. You will be a great man, your sons will be great men, and you will become a leader of many.” Asa could see tears forming in Idris’ eyes and, not wanting to embarrass the boy in front of his friends, grabbed him behind the neck and pulled him toward him in a strong embrace. Asa placed a kiss on the top of his head and raised his arm to signal the music to start and the end of the ceremony.
*****
“GREAT NIGHT,” MANNY said, walking out onto the veranda. He’d just given final instructions to the servants on getting the house back in order.
Asa, sitting in one of the patio chairs in the cool of the evening, offered Manny a cigar. Declining, Manny sat and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossing his ankles, and lacing his fingers over his chest.
“Did you eat?” Asa asked him.
“I grabbed something earlier,” Manny said.
Asa turned in the chair and signaled one of the servers to bring a tray of refreshments out to the veranda for him and Manny. Manny smiled his acceptance and thanks and sat quietly as they enjoyed the silence. Even in the silence, the two men didn’t hear Savannah pad out onto her balcony, located directly above the veranda. She just wanted to look out over the lake and didn’t even know the men were beneath her until the waft of Asa’s cigar reached her and Manny’s voice thanked the servant for the tray of hors d’ oeuvres. Just as she was about to leave them to their conversation, she heard Manny ask about her.
“Where’s Savannah tonight? Is she OK?”
“Yea. She’s OK. She was going to go out with her sisters tonight, but then decided to stay in. It’s late, so I’m sure she’s in bed by now.”
Nodding, Manny popped a stuffed mushroom in his mouth.
“Thanks for your help with all this, Manny; couldn’t have done it without you.”
“My pleasure,” Manny said drinking from the glass of lemonade the servant had brought out with the tray of food. “I look forward to doing it again when you and Savannah have your own son.”
Asa smiled, shook his head and just took another puff of his cigar. Manny, though, as he reached for another mushroom, thought he heard someone laugh. As he popped the mushroom into his mouth, he chewed and subtly glanced above him. He was just able to see Savannah’s shadow move as she walked off the balcony and into her bedroom.
Savannah mumbled to herself, Now, that’s funny. As sporadic as my periods have been these past two years, I’ve got to have about two or three eggs left in me. ‘When Asa and I have a child,’ Ha! She mocked, laughed again, and crawled into bed.
Manny turned to Asa, “I don’t know why you and Savannah keep laughing, Ace.” Manny said, wiping his hands on a napkin. “Is there anything too hard for God?”
*****
THE MORNING AFTER THE ceremony, Savannah walked down the steps ready for church. Asa, as usual, was running late, so she decided to have a glass of orange juice and a croissant while waiting. Sitting in the family dining room, Manny walked in. “Good morning, Mrs. Steele.”
Savannah raised an eyebrow at him over her juice remembering that last night he referred to her by her first name. Manny smiled sheepishly, “Apologies if you overheard your husband and me in a more relaxed setting, Mrs. Steele,” he said.
Savannah smiled. “It’s fine Immanuel. I know you and Asa are close,” she said, tearing and eating a piece of her croissant.
“Since you overheard our conversation, if I may, ma’am,” Manny started, “why did you laugh? Is there anything too hard for God to do?” Manny dared to ask.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Immanuel,” Savannah said, dabbing the corner of her mouth with a napkin. “I didn’t laugh,” Savannah said, reaching for her orange juice. All of a sudden she thought Manny could see straight through her church lady facade to the unbelief and lack of faith that had been encasing her heart for the past four or five years.
Manny nodded and was about to leave the room, but then paused, “No, ma’am.” Manny said quietly, boldly. “You did laugh. And the other answer is no, too.”
He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder when she looked up at him, confused. “No, there’s nothing too hard for God,” Manny answered for her and walked through to the kitchen.