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The next morning after Ian’s birthday party, Savannah carried him down the steps for church. “Thank you, Pam,” she said, taking the mini pop tart from her and handing it to Ian who grabbed it eagerly, stuffing it into his mouth with zeal.
Asa followed more slowly behind them. “Savannah. Bill will take you and Ian in today. I’ll catch up.”
Savannah looked behind her, saw Asa’s sullen expression, and had the decency to hesitate. She knew he’d been up most of the night thinking about what she’d asked him to do. What am I doing? She thought for a moment. Anything and everything I ask him to do, he does because he loves me and wants me to be happy. Why can’t I ever just be happy? She thought frowning.
“Asa,” Savannah started.
“Just go ahead, Savannah. Bill’s waiting,” Asa nodded at the door that was opening, then walked in the direction of his office.
Ian started kicking in her arms, wanting to get down when he saw Bill open the front door and hold his arms out to the boy. Conflicted, but taking a foot in the gut from Ian, she set him down and let him pull her toward Bill and out of the door.
After hearing the front door close behind Savannah, Asa sighed heavily and went into his office. That’s where Manny found him 30 minutes later. Asa was sitting in one of the mahogany, high back, club chairs that faced the fireplace; elbows on his knees, and head in both hands.
“What ails you, Ace,” Manny asked gently, taking the matching chair on the other side of the fireplace. Manny rested an ankle over the opposite knee, elbows on the armrest and folded his hands in front of his chest.
Manny, well into his seventies, still stayed smartly dressed in a pair of dark pants, white dress shirt, and burgundy vest with matching tie. His mind was sharp as ever, but his back got the better of him most mornings and the prescription in his eye glasses seemed to get stronger with each passing year.
Asa lifted his head from his hands and looked over at his oldest friend. “She wants me to put them out.”
Manny didn’t need any further explanation. He knew exactly to whom Asa was referring, both the ‘she’ and the ‘them.’ Sighing, he also knew the distress it had to be causing him. “When?”
“She wants me to tell them today.”
“I see.” Manny said. The two men sat quietly for several minutes.
“Asa, I can see you’re upset over this,” Manny said.
Asa looked at him with an ‘Ah yeah?’ expression and dropped his head back into his hands again.
Manny took a deep breath and tried again, “Hailey is a grown woman and Idris is seventeen.”
“Is that supposed to make it easier for me?”
“Nothing will make it easier for you, but you should...” Manny paused, “you should listen to Savannah.”
“What?” Asa looked sharply at Manny. “That is the last thing I would have expected for you to say.”
“Ace,” Manny said, “Hailey is a grown, educated woman now. Idris went to the finest schools in Colorado Springs,” Manny thought for a moment, putting a finger to his chin. “And rather ironically, if you haven’t noticed, he also shares Savannah’s impulsiveness.”
“Ha,” Asa made a sound of agreement in his hands.
"Idris is strong, smart, funny, thriving, and almost 18.”
Asa just sat shaking his head.
“This does not have to be a bad thing,” Manny said.
Asa looked over at Manny, an incredulous look on his face.
“It doesn’t.” Manny repeated. “Savannah is your wife and Ian is a baby. It might be the best thing for your family if you made some changes that bring, and sustain, peace and balance into your lives.”
No response from Asa, so Manny continued. “Ian is yours and Savannah’s; the child God promised you the night before your wedding day. Now,” Manny said, almost to prepare Asa for what he was about to say next. “You and Savannah introduced some additional themes into that original plan, but you are still where God wants you to be.”
Asa continued to sit quietly, but Manny could tell he was listening.
“What you said during his Rite of Passage was true; Idris will be a great man. Anyone can see that.” Leaning forward, Manny placed a hand on the back of Asa’s shoulder. “He will be great because he has your blood flowing through him. Wherever he goes, he’s a Steele.”
Asa slowly lowered his hands and looked over at Manny.
“How can I put my son and his mother out on the street, Manny? What kind of man does that make me?”
Manny looked over at Asa and shook his head slightly. “First, you are not, nor would you ever, put anyone out on the street, let alone your son and his mother. Second, they’re going to be fine.” Manny said. “Hailey has tried to hide it, but I know she’s prepared for this day. And Idris,” Manny smiled slyly, “Idris is graduating next month and has some plans of his own.” Manny chuckled. “It’s almost funny how much those two have been influenced by the Steele way of thinking and taking charge of their own destiny...and none of you, not you or them, knows what anyone else is doing.” Manny chuckled again. “You and Savannah have been more of an influence on them than you or they realize.”
Sighing deeply, Asa shook his head and leaned heavily back in his chair; still saddened by the sudden shift in his life.
*****
“IDRIS, JUST LET ME talk to you a minute,” Hailey said, trying to get the boy’s attention away from throwing his clothes into his suitcase.
“What’s to talk about,” he said. “Dad wants us out, so we’re out,” he said, zipping his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder, and storming out of his room.
“Idris wait!” Hailey, angry with Idris’ impetuous behavior, as usual, blew out a breath and turned to her desk to start making plans to put Plan B into motion. She’d hoped they could leave on her terms, but because she was a few months off her timetable, she now had some unexpected things to put in motion. About an hour later, she had a better handle on what she wanted to do, so she called Idris’ cell phone. When he didn’t answer, she walked up to the garage to see if he was with Pam’s son. He and Mike were about the same age and while Mike worked most weekends on the Steele cars, Idris hung out lifting the free weights Asa let him keep there.
When she got to the garage, Mike said he hadn’t seen him since last night. Becoming slightly alarmed, Hailey walked through the gardens to the back door of the kitchen. When Pam, Ms. Kyle’s weekend help, said she hadn’t seen him either, Hailey started to get really scared. Grabbing the kitchen’s house phone, maybe he went for a ride, she thought, dialing the stables, waiting for Ike to answer. When he did, Ike only confirmed that Idris was not there.
She slammed the house phone down, picked it up again and dialed.
“Manny,” Hailey said, suddenly out of breath. “I need your help.”
“Of course, dear,” Manny said. “What is it?”
Breathing deeply, Hailey was somewhat embarrassed and hesitated to answer right away.
“Hailey,” Manny said quietly. “I already know of Mr. Steele’s decision. Just tell me how I can help you.”
Almost brought to tears by the kindness in his voice, “I...” she blinked rapidly, “I can’t find, Idris,” she whispered the boys name over the lump that was building in her throat.
“What do you mean you can’t find him? What happened?”
“Well, we were just coming in from the early service at church and Mr. Steele was waiting outside our cabin door. We both thought it was strange since he goes to church with Mrs. Steele and Ian, but then he came inside and that’s when he told us.” Hailey paused. “Gracious, Manny, Idris was so mad. Well, he was mad and he was hurt. He didn’t say a word the whole time and I knew he was nearing implosion, but he held it together. He wouldn’t even hug him, just got up and stormed into his room.”
“OK.”
“Then, Mr. Steele tried to talk to me after Idris left the room, telling me there was no rush for us to leave right away, but I was so worried about Idris and honestly, I really just didn’t know what else needed to be said, so I really wasn’t paying attention. I just needed him to leave so I could see about Idris.”
“Alright, so what happened?”
“When I finally got him to open his door and let me in, he was throwing some things into his bag and then he stormed out of the cabin door.” Hailey was almost in tears now. “I tried to call him, but he’s not answering. I’ve already searched the garage and Ike said he wasn’t at the stables, either.” Hailey sniffed. “I don’t know where he is and he’s so...” Hailey thought about how wild and brash Idris could get. “I’ve got to find him, Manny.”
“OK,” Manny said. “It’s going to be OK. I have a feeling I know where he is.”
“Y-you do?” Hailey said gripping the phone receiver.
“Yes. You’re in the kitchen, right?”
Hailey nodded, as if Manny could see her.
“Stay where you are, I’ll be right there and we’ll go get him.”
“OK,” she whispered.
*****
IDRIS STORMED OUT OF the recruiter’s office, slumped down on the bench outside, and dropped his backpack on the ground, folding his arms over his chest. The words of the marine echoing in his ear, I already told you last month; the only way you can enlist at 17 is with parental consent. You might be turning 18 in just two weeks, but I can’t let you sign up now without your parents’ consent. Sorry, but we’ll be glad to have you with consent or when you turn 18.
Idris, fuming over the unfairness of his life, kicked a rock that was in front of him. God, if You’re up there...and care, this really sucks. Brows furrowed, Idris blinked back angry, hot tears before they could fall. Suddenly his stomach growled and he remembered he’d left before he and his mom could have lunch. He reached into his back pocket to check his wallet. Angry at himself and not just his father now, Idris remembered he’d gone to the movies with Mike and Jared last night and spent the last of his cash. Looking up and down the street, he tried to remember the direction of the ATM he’d seen on his drive over. But, then, he whipped his head back down, looked in his wallet again, and pulled out his bank card. Ah, man, he wailed to himself. It’s the expired card. Dad told me to activate the new one, but I never even took it out of the envelope. Standing and throwing the useless wallet across the street, Idris plopped back down and sat with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands, and tried to think what to do next.
A little while later, Idris was still sitting on the bench and didn’t see Manny pull up on the other side of the street with Hailey sitting in the passenger seat. “What’s he doing here?” Hailey asked Manny looking around him and through his driver’s side window to Idris sitting across the street on the corner bench.
Looking at a fallen and depressed Idris, Manny said, “He wants to join the Marines.”
“What?” Hailey asked incredulously. “He never told me that.”
Looking away from Idris, Manny smiled at Hailey, “He didn’t exactly tell me either,” Manny said.
At Hailey’s raised eyebrow, he confessed. “I overheard him and Mike talking.” Looking back at Idris, “he’s not old enough to join on his own, though. Him, Mike and Jared want to join together. Mike signed up already because he turned 18 last month. Idris and Jared are still seventeen, but Mr. Crome has already signed the parental consent for Jared to join.”
“Why didn’t he tell me about it?” Hailey wondered aloud.
“Why don’t you go ask him?”
Hailey looked across the street at her son and frowned. “He looks so sad,” Hailey took a deep breath. “I’ve made such a mess of so much,” she shook her head. “I have no idea what to say to him. I can’t stand to see him like this,” Hailey turned to look outside her own window.
Manny grabbed her hand and tugged it so that she would look at him. “Hailey, look at me,” he said.
Hailey finally turned her head to look at him. “You haven’t made a mess of anything. For someone who was so averse to motherhood, you turned out to be a really good one.” He gave her a soft smile.
Looking over at Manny, she closed her eyes, leaned her head back on the headrest and sighed deeply.
“Don’t be afraid, dear. You already had a plan to take the boy and leave; it’s just happening a little sooner than expected.”
Hailey opened her eyes and looked over at Manny.
Manny smiled and squeezed her hand, “Go get your son, Hailey. He’s already well on his way to becoming an awesome man.”
Finally giving Manny a smile, Hailey squeezed his hand back and turned to open and step out of the car door. As she was turning away, Manny slipped two envelopes into her open purse. Hailey was about to round the car, but stooped down and picked up Idris’ wallet. Dropping it into her open bag, she crossed the street to sit on the bench next to her son.
Manny sat for a while watching them talk. He could see the expressions on Idris’ face change from stubborn hostility to the hurt he didn’t want to admit he was feeling. Then, he saw Hailey put her arm around her son’s head, pull it down toward her, and kiss his cheek. Resting their heads together for a moment, Hailey reached into her purse to give him his wallet and noticed the two envelopes inside. Passing the wallet to Idris, she pulled out the first envelope and saw it was his new bank card; smiling, she handed it to him, nudging him in the ribs. When he smiled and took it from her, she looked back into her purse at the second envelope. When she opened it and saw the size of the check written out to her, signed by Asa, her mouth dropped, and she looked up and across the street at Manny.
Smiling at Hailey, Manny lifted his arm out of the window and waved, pulling slowly off down the street. From his rear view mirror, he saw Hailey stand and pull Idris up by the hand. Idris reached down for his backpack and let his mother walk him back into the recruiter’s office.
*****
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, after Savannah and Ian returned from church, Asa walked into Ian’s room to find Savannah on her knees, removing his church clothes so she could put something on him he could play in. Glancing up, Savannah watched Asa’s face closely before continuing to unbutton Ian’s shirt.
Walking over to stroke Ian’s head, Asa knelt down and took over removing Ian’s dress shirt.
Ian took a wet thumb out of his mouth and laid it on the side of his father’s cheek. “Daddy, you missed church.”
“I know, son. I’m sorry,” Asa said. Satisfied with Asa’s apology, Ian put his thumb back in his mouth.
Tossing the boy’s dress shirt to the side, Asa took the tee shirt from Savannah and started to pull it over his head. “I do it, daddy,” Ian objected. He took his thumb out of his mouth and started to yank the tee shirt the rest of the way over his head.
“What happened?” Savannah asked, quietly watching Ian.
Asa, watching his son as well, looked down a moment, “It’s done.”
The Steele’s were quiet, both watching their son try to push an arm through a sleeve.
Savannah was first to break the silence, “Asa, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have asked you to do that, but I also have to admit, I’m not sorry you did it.”
Asa wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just nodded once at Savannah and reached over to turn Ian’s shirt to the front after his twisting shifted it; Ian was then able to get one arm through.
“Asa,” Savannah began, “I know all of this is my doing.”
Asa lifted his hand slightly to stop her. “It’s OK, Savannah,” he said.
“No, let me finish, please.” Savannah said, sitting back on her heels. “I get so tired—struggling to be the woman that I talk to other women about. And, I am that woman, most days at least, but there are those other days, when I just don’t want to do the right thing.” Savannah paused. “Sometimes I just don’t want to do what I’m supposed to do.”
Asa looked over at her and then subtly tried to help Ian push his other arm into his sleeve. The boy pushed Asa’s hand away and continued to try to do it himself.
“How do you mean?” he asked her.
“I guess I just haven’t completely dealt with my own insecurities. None of this was your fault, Hailey’s or Idris’. It was all me; not satisfied with what God had already given me and what I knew He promised to give me.” Savannah shook her head. “None of it was enough. I had to have more; had to have it my way, on my terms, in my time, and I just made such a mess of so much.”
“Savannah,” Asa was able to maneuver an open sleeve to Ian’s pushing arm before he could notice his father’s help. “You didn’t make a mess of anything. I love Idris.” He glanced over at his wife with that admission.
“I know you do, Honey.” Savannah touched his cheek. “And you shouldn’t have to apologize or hesitate to tell me that.”
“God blessed us, Vannah.” Asa said, feeling confident. “No, we didn’t wait for Him. We got a clear word from God, but we didn’t trust it. We got scared when it looked like it was taking too long and wasn’t going to happen, but look,” Asa pointed to Ian, who finally got both arms through his sleeves. Ian lowered his chin to chest and tried to see over his pudgy little belly to unbutton his pants. “God delivered on His promise and he made something wonderful even when we decided to go off and make our own plans.”
Savannah looked at Asa and thought about what an awesome man he was.
Asa swiftly moved in and undid the button and zipper on Ian’s church pants, moving his hands quickly out of his son’s way. Ian pushed down his pants and sat himself down to kick them off. He then snatched the shorts out of Savannah’s hand before she could try to help him.
Savannah, not paying attention to Ian, continued looking at Asa.
“Idris is going to join the Marines.” Asa looked over at Savannah with a shy, but proud smile. “There’s a king inside of him,” Asa said, standing Ian up when he tried to pull his shorts on while still sitting down. With a still wet and wrinkly thumb, Ian started trying to zip his shorts.
“That’s wonderful, Asa.” Savannah said. At Asa’s raised eyebrow and dubious expression directed toward that comment, “It is,” She insisted. “And actually,” she tilted her head slightly to the side with a smile, “not all that surprising, when you really think about it. Maybe they can curtail that energy into something productive.” Then she playfully slapped his arm. “See; all that worrying and those sleepless nights for nothing.”
Asa smiled sheepishly. Savannah sat up on her knees again. She put her arms around his shoulders, and grabbed him in a side hug, resting her head on his shoulder. “I love you and I trust you, Asa. Please forgive me for my crazy ways and for asking...” Savannah swallowed, “demanding, that you put your first born son out of the house. I just wanted...”
“You wanted what was best for our family,” Asa finished for her. Grabbing and squeezing her forearm, he remembered some of what Manny had counseled this morning. “You’ve always just wanted what was best for our family.” At her nod, Asa turned his head and kissed the top of hers. “I know, Savannah. God always had a plan for us. For you, and me, and this little guy,” Asa said, softly squeezing Ian’s pudgy tummy. Ian, suddenly bored with putting his own clothes on, stuck his thumb back into his mouth and let his father finish dressing him. “This little guy is that plan.” Asa zipped and buttoned his shorts.
“And there’s a king inside of you, too,” Asa said to Ian, tickling his belly.
Ian’s fell out laughing at his father and, taking his thumb out of his mouth, he reached around and hugged his father’s neck. Savannah laughed and threw an arm around both of them.
Savannah closed her eyes and leaned into the embrace, holding her husband and child. Thank you, Lord, she prayed. In spite of me, in spite of everything we’ve done...thank you for Asa, Ian, Idris...and for taking care of Hailey. Thank you, Lord, for always being faithful.