‘I don’t think things are working at the moment.’
Suzie clutched her mobile phone and switched it to the other ear. She stared ahead. It had been five weeks since Charlie had been impregnated with the last embryo. Five very long weeks. She was at the clinic car park in Southampton, waiting for Charlie and Dawn. Dawn had agreed to bring Charlie and Suzie was grateful for the moral support. But she was so distracted that anything Annie had been saying, she’d had to repeat twice. She glanced up as a silver car turned into the entrance. She hoped it would be Dawn. Damn, it wasn’t. Her mind was so overwhelmed, especially with Charlie’s early results.
‘Sorry, Annie, what was that?’
‘I said, Suzie, that you seem to have lost focus at the moment and I think it’s best you take some unpaid leave until you can concentrate on your clients – and your job – it’s nearly Christmas, after all,’ she’d added more gently.
‘Right.’
‘Listen, I will send you an email with all the details. Please can you read this and get back to me, but don’t come in to work until we’ve had another conversation, OK? Suzie?’
‘Yes, yes. I will read the email. And, Annie?’
‘Yes?’
‘Sorry.’
There was silence at the other end. Annie had hung up. Who could blame her? Suzie’s mind just wasn’t on it. Since she had found out yesterday that Charlie might be pregnant, when she’d done an early urine test, she’d arranged to visit the clinic straight away to make sure with a blood test. Just think: what if today was going to change her life? Nothing else mattered. And after that awful incident with the wrong folder at the last client meeting, Annie had taken her off that account and given her some dull mobile phone account that didn’t need any client liaison at the moment, just checking that the ads had been placed in the right media.
But Suzie couldn’t care less. Today was the day everything would change. She just knew it.
She let her head fall on the steering wheel of her Mercedes and rested it there for a minute as a wave of exhaustion hit her. The last few of weeks since Charlie had been impregnated had been so stressful. When she looked up she saw Dawn driving in – late. Suzie glanced at her watch quickly. She wished Dawn wouldn’t do this to her. She was nervous enough as it was. She frowned, throwing her phone into her handbag.
Dawn waved at her then turned her enormous silver people carrier around in the car park in exasperation and parked across the road. Charlie and Dawn got out of the car. She couldn’t help glancing at the street before Charlie crossed it, looking for traffic.
Dawn came running up to her, beads and bangles clanking, and as she went over to embrace her, Suzie got a whiff of something very familiar and comforting: fabric conditioner. Charlie followed slowly behind in ripped jeans and a beanie.
‘Oh, Suzie – how exciting! Come on, Charlie, let’s get in there and find out properly!’ gushed Dawn, taking both their hands like they were five-year-olds. They walked past a stylish silver Christmas tree in reception, with silver fairy lights and blue baubles.
Settling down on the plush purple seats, Dawn touched her knee.
‘Don’t worry.’
Don’t worry? She was terrified. She smiled back. Today would change the course of her life. That chaotic woman there, Charlie – she glanced over, and shook her head; Charlie was engrossed in Hello! magazine – that woman was in charge of her happiness. That, kind, messy woman right there with a rip in her jeans, she might be carrying her and Rex’s baby.
‘Susan Havilland?’ The clinic receptionist startled Suzie and she got up. ‘You can all go through now.’
Liz reappeared and introduced them to a doctor. ‘This is Dr Nathalie.’
‘Ms Havilland and Ms Moore, welcome back.’ The doctor smiled. ‘This way.’ She turned and marched down the corridor, her high heels clicking.
‘Now, Charlie, we’ll just do some quick blood tests.’ She nodded at her to sit down.
‘All set?’ She smiled. ‘You can all wait in reception till we find out.’
*
She couldn’t believe it. She really couldn’t. She was a mess of adrenalin and quite teary. Charlie was next to her, wiping crumbs from her jumper and munching on a mince pie. The three of them were in a coffee shop near to the clinic. They’d walked down a few streets looking for a safe haven away from the busy Christmas shoppers. The streets were packed, families out for the day, mums pushing buggies, cheery smiles in the drizzly rain. Carol singers on the corner. Suzie had thrown a £10 note into the hat. She didn’t even care about her hair getting wet. She wanted to pinch herself.
A waitress placed huge milky lattes in front of them and another plate of mince pies in the middle of the table. Suzie carefully took a sip of the coffee. Warm, milky liquid oozed down her throat and she willed her shoulders to relax.
‘Well,’ ventured Dawn. ‘How exciting! That’s amazing. Suzie, you must be over the moon!’ She reached out and gave her a hug. ‘And well done, Charlie!’
Charlie shrugged. ‘Didn’t really do anything, did I? Let ’em pop an embryo in, and here we are.’ She smiled, as Suzie watched the girl’s hands shaking violently as she took another sip of coffee.
‘You all right, Charlie?’ Suzie’s heart was thumping. What was wrong?
‘Fine, fine,’ Charlie gave a tight smile.
‘I’m so grateful, Charlie, you know that, don’t you?’ she said. ‘What if you hadn’t agreed, what if you’d said no? “We” wouldn’t be “pregnant” – God, I almost can’t say it…’ She felt the tears threatening.
‘Have you texted Rex yet?’ Dawn nodded at the phone, eyes wide. ‘God, I’m so excited! A baby!’ she squealed, reaching out for Suzie’s hand.
‘I’m going to tell him in person,’ she said. ‘His phone’s off,’ she lied. ‘He’s got a really important meeting today.’ That bit was true. But her heart lurched when she thought about talking to him.