I text Daniel straight away when I find the perfect camera on a local community website. I want to surprise him. I stayed up till 1 a.m. last night to find one, especially after his outburst. I know how much it means to him, and he’s so talented – well, I think so. New cameras cost anything up to a thousand pounds, but I’ve found a second-hand one, with the lens cap missing and no case for £250. If I use my money meant for maternity clothes that Suzie’s given me, and this week’s shopping, plus some from the rent, I can just about do it.
Hiya, can we fit in another trip asap. Urgent. Need to pick up a parcel. Don’t tell Suzie, OK?
Daniel fires back a text straight away.
Sure. What time shall I cme pick u up?
This time it’s nothing to do with Suzie, nothing to do with a trip for my job. I just need to get this camera and Suzie doesn’t need to know why. She’d only wonder how I could afford it and I can’t afford to piss her off any more, not after the baby shop thing.
Once I’m in the car, I read out the directions to Daniel as he puts it into his iPhone and we start to follow the route. We make our way past several small shops, a hairdresser and the town square, which has tiny gold Christmas trees in silver pots lining the edges. There is a Salvation Army choir singing and a few people are gathered around. A mile later, we turn into Magnolia Drive and I shiver. Not here. I hadn’t realised we’d be going anywhere near this place.
‘Knew someone up that road,’ I say quietly as Daniel suddenly jerks round to stare at me. He’s white as a sheet.
He starts to say something: ‘I—’ but stops when my phone goes.
It’s Tyler. ‘Mum, where are you? I need some money and there’s none in the basket where you usually leave it. Christ’s sake, Mum, I have to get the bus to get to work!’
I look over at Daniel to see if he’s overheard. He’s staring out the window and seems miles away.
I move the phone to my other ear. ‘Sorry, Tyler… Look, I won’t be long – take some money from my dressing table. There’s some in the little dish there.’
Daniel puts the radio on and we both listen to chart hits. My phone pings.
Found some money on dressing table. Only fiver. Soz for shouting. Got stressed I’d miss the bus. T
That one text is the equivalent of a ten-page apology for Tyler. I smile and suddenly Daniel turns the radio down. ‘Hate that song.’ The DJ was playing a track from the late eighties. ‘Reminds me of— Anyway, don’t worry. Just memories.’ He smiles at me.
We’re in a residential part of the town now. The houses are big ‘executive homes’ with wide driveways and spanking clean, raked gravel drives. After a bit, we turn off into a narrow road where the houses are all 1950s bungalows and much smaller. There are little footprints all over the grass verge – human and animal, pale green imprints making a crazy pattern on the light snowfall. There’s a red letterbox at the end of the street; it’s top is covered in snow; a perfectly magical Christmas card setting.
My mind wanders back to the road we just drove up to get here, Magnolia Drive, to the last time I’d come up there.
‘Right, we’re here.’ Daniel suddenly pulls in. I glance out the window to see a dirty bungalow, covered in ivy on one side. It’s hard to see the numbers. ‘Number 43, that’s it.’ He nods to the house and I can just make out a silver tinsel wreath on the front door.
I check the address from my piece of paper and nod. ‘Yup, this is it.’ Opening the door, I’m hit with a blast of chilly wind and tiny snowflakes fall in front of me. My breath wraps around me in a misty veil as I wander up to the door and knock. As I wait on the steps I hear footsteps shuffling behind the door. A middle-aged man in a blue chunky knit cardigan opens the door and beams at me. I’m hit with a smell of stale cabbage and can’t help but notice the carpet is a bit threadbare.
‘Hello? Mr Robinson?’
He nods.
‘I’ve come for the camera. The Nikon.’
‘Righto.’ And he bustles back inside in his slippers and reappears with a camera in a Sainsbury’s bag.
‘That’s £250, love.’
‘Can we make it £200? I know it’s cheeky, but…’ That £50 will help with the shopping. I feel bad asking, but I have to. ‘It’s for my son,’ I add. ‘He’s desperate to have it for a course he’s trying to get on.’ I smile. ‘We can’t afford a new one.’ I look at him and give him my best smile.
‘How old is your son?’
‘Seventeen.’
‘Yes all right.’ He nods. ‘Same age as I was when I got hooked.’
I take the bag from him. ‘Wish him luck,’ he says, smiling at me and taking the envelope of money in exchange. ‘I’ve had that camera for twenty years and it’s never let me down. Don’t need it any more though and my sight’s not what it used to be. Tell him to enter some competitions, if he’s any good.’
‘Will do – oh, and Merry Christmas.’ I’m not sure what comes over me but I lean in and peck him on the cheek.
‘You too, pet.’ He smiles.
Daniel is fiddling with his phone when I get back into the car.
‘God it’s freezing out there!’ I sink back into the warm car seat and pull my coat closer.
Daniel turns to me and puts his phone down. ‘Charlie, I know it’s none of my business, but how can you afford that? I do know a bit about photography and when you told me the one you’d bought, even second-hand, I know it’s worth about £1,000. Sorry to be so blunt, but I know Suzie, for whatever reason, is letting me drive you around. But as a cleaner, how can you possibly afford it? I’m just trying to—’
‘Got it for £200, if you must know. And I’ve saved up – for Tyler’s sake. Actually, I’m using some of my rent money but – I have to.’
‘Why? I overhead that phone call – the way he speaks to you.’
‘I know he can be a complete pain in the backside, but he loves photography. He’s desperate to make a go of it and to stop working in that bloody fish and chip shop. I admire him trying to better himself. I’m proud of him, proud he’s trying to get himself out of the shit – well, to make a better life for himself, like I wish I could have—’ I take a deep breath.
‘But, Charlie, it’s not your fault you’re a single mum – whoever it was – whichever bastard left you high and dry – yes, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you’ve done amazingly well. Brought up a son, cared for him doing the job of two parents.’
I feel so touched he cares so much about me, feels protective towards me. Nobody has been ‘there’ for me in life, and I’m overcome with a sensation of gratitude, longing… It’s hard to explain… even though Daniel doesn’t know the real reason I’m a single parent, and I’m not sure I ever want him to.
As I look across at him, I notice he is staring at me, and I am lost in those chestnut eyes.
‘Charlie?’
‘Mmm?’ I nod.
‘You’ve got loads of snowflakes on your scarf.’ He grins at me, then reaches over to brush them away as the blood rushes to my ears. I feel the heat rising up my chest as he skims a snowflake off my scarf, and his hand lightly touches my face. I look up at him and something in me melts. I reach up and take hold of his hand, which is resting gently on my cheek. Slowly, he leans across his seat and plants the most tender kiss on my lips.
At first, I am stunned. I gently kiss him back, but then his lips press further into mine with urgency and I find that something is unleashed in me. Parts of me that have been dormant for so long spring to life and it’s a combination of my heart and my head sinking deeper into the kiss as I enter a daydream state that I never want to end. His hand finds the back of my neck and pulls me closer as I lean towards him in my seat.
Finally, we both pull away, breathless. I put my hand up to my lips, touch them, and smile at him, aware that everything has just changed between us.
‘Right, Ms Moore.’ He grins at me as he turns the ignition on. ‘Let’s get you home.’
My heart is soaring and I can’t keep a grin from spreading across my face. I turn to look out of the window so he can’t see my expression. As we travel along the roads, the sun has come out and is casting its rays across the snowy landscape. Fences, car roofs and rooftops have been showered with glittering snow. My mind’s in a trance, a wonderful, exhilarating trance. As we pull into my road, I’m aware of Daniel humming next to me; and as I sit in the cosy car by my house unwilling to let the spell be broken, he silently places his hand on my knee and squeezes it tight.