Step Ten
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
“Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9).
Step Ten
Looking in the Mirror
Bible Reading: James 1:21-25
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
How many times do we look in the mirror each day? Suppose we saw someone looking in the mirror who found that he had mustard smeared around his mouth. We would find it very strange if he didn’t immediately wash his face and clear up the problem. In the same way, we need to routinely look at ourselves in a spiritual mirror. Then if anything is wrong, we can make the proper adjustments.
James used a similar illustration to show how God’s Word should be like a spiritual mirror in our lives. He said, “Don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it” (James 1:22-25).
We can use this illustration to support the sensibility of doing routine personal inventories. As we examine ourselves, we need to respond with immediate action if something has changed since we last looked. If we put off taking care of a problem that we see, it may soon slip our minds. Just as we would think it foolish to go all day with mustard on our face, it’s absurd to notice a problem that could lead to a fall and not correct it promptly.
The mirror of God’s Word helps us to see what we should become.
Step Ten
Dealing with Anger
Bible Reading: Ephesians 4:26-27
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Many of us have a hard time dealing with anger. Some of us have a history of rage, so we try to stifle our feelings. Others of us stuff down the feelings of anger; we pretend they don’t exist because we were never allowed to express them in the past. If some of our problems stem from not knowing how to express anger properly, we may try to avoid dealing with it altogether. We may try to just “put it off” and hope it goes away. Evaluating how to deal with anger appropriately is an important part of our daily inventory.
The apostle Paul once said, “‘Don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27). One key is to have a daily time limit for handling our feelings of anger—a time to find a way to express the feelings and then let them go.
Dealing with anger promptly is important because when it is left to fester, it becomes bitterness. Bitterness is anger that has been buried and given time to grow. The Bible warns us, “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many” (Hebrews 12:15).
AA teaches that we should never allow ourselves to become too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. We can accomplish this by promptly dealing with our anger as it occurs.
We need to deal with short-term anger before it causes long-term destruction.
Step Ten
Preventing Relapse
Bible Reading: Hebrews 4:12-13
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Who among us takes a fall without a preceding thought, a flirtation with desire, or a season of being enticed? Who among us falls into a pit without walking near the edge? Relapse doesn’t appear from nowhere to grab us by the throat. There are warning signs of complacency, confusion, and compromise that we can watch for as a precaution.
In order to safeguard against relapse, we must ask God to help us keep a close watch on our motives, desires, and thoughts. He has the power to do this. “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires” (Hebrews 4:12). As God shines his light into the darkness of our souls, we are enabled to see the problems lurking there. Then we can ask for God’s help in dealing with them.
Temptation is progressive. James wrote, “Each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death” (James 1:14-15, NKJV).
As we continue to take personal inventory, we can’t afford to wait for harmful behaviors to surface before dealing with them. We need to look at the attitudes in our hearts that cause those behaviors. In this way, we can be alerted to problem areas and deal with our temptations before they become full-grown and overpowering.
God’s Word will help us to continue in recovery and avoid the devastation of a relapse.
Step Ten
Dangerous Pride
Bible Reading: 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
When we begin to experience the benefits of recovery, it’s easy to forget the power of our addictions. When we grow comfortable in our sobriety, we may begin to trust ourselves more than we should. We need to stay on the lookout for pride; it is a danger each of us must seek to crush.
King Solomon wisely noted, “Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). The apostle Paul also cautioned us, “If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure” (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).
Pride whispers to us, “Don’t worry, you can handle this one; you’re not like those addicts anymore.” It is pride that pushes us to take foolish chances by walking into situations that support our addictions. We will never be able to “handle” making provisions for our compulsive inclinations. When we start to tell ourselves that we can, we’re entertaining pride, which will only lead to our downfall. Pride often masquerades behind progress. We must be vigilant to reveal and abandon it whenever it tiptoes into our lives.
Even the pride we feel in our recovery can set us up for temptation and relapse.
Step Ten
Spiritual Exercises
Bible Reading: 1 Timothy 4:7-8
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
It is amazing to behold what a human being can achieve through a consistent, disciplined effort. How many times have we watched seasoned gymnasts or other athletes and marveled at the ease with which they performed their sport? We realize that they developed that ability through rigorous training, which is what sets the true athlete apart from the spectator. There are parallels to the discipline of continuing our inventories.
Paul wrote to Timothy, “Train yourself to be godly. ‘Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better’” (1 Timothy 4:7-8). The word translated training specifically referred to the disciplined training done by gymnasts in Paul’s day.
Spiritual strength and agility only come through practice. We need to develop our spiritual muscles through consistent effort and daily discipline. Continuing to take personal inventory is one of the disciplines we can develop. The Bible describes it as having our “senses exercised to discern both good and evil” (Hebrews 5:14, NKJV). Like the athlete, we can motivate ourselves to continue in a disciplined routine by looking to our reward. This kind of discipline “is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:8). We must not expect overnight results. As we continue practicing these disciplines each day, we’ll eventually grow to enjoy the benefits.
Our continued inventory will keep us spiritually fit and strong in the face of temptation.
Step Ten
Personal Boundaries
Bible Reading: Genesis 31:45-55
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We all have particular weaknesses and it is often helpful to establish personal boundary lines to support these weaker areas. We may need to clearly define our commitments to others; we may need to agree on certain limitations in order to maintain peace. Once the boundaries have been established, honesty is needed to maintain them. An assessment of our honesty in keeping our commitments needs to be part of our regular inventory.
Jacob and his father-in-law, Laban, had some conflicts. As they were working them out, they entered into an agreement by drawing a clearly defined boundary line and setting up a monument to remind them of that commitment. “‘May the LORD keep watch between us to make sure that we keep this covenant when we are out of each other’s sight. . . . See this pile of stones,’ Laban continued, ‘and see this monument I have set between us. They stand between us as witnesses of our vows. . . .’ So Jacob took an oath before the fearsome God of his father, Isaac, to respect the boundary line” (Genesis 31:49, 51-53).
Restoring trust in our relationships is part of recovery. To do this we should define our expectations and cautiously enter into commitments. We are not merely responsible for what the other person knows about. We are personally responsible for our own honesty before the watchful eyes of God. These relational commitments are not to be entered into lightly. But when we make them, they must be vigilantly maintained.
Honest inventories help us maintain boundaries important to our recovery.
Step Ten
Positive Thoughts
Bible Reading: Philippians 4:8-9
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
As we take personal inventory, we will probably be inclined to focus on the bad things in our lives. Early on in recovery it’s hard to see much that’s very good. It’s easy to get our perspective out of focus, allowing pessimism to grow. We may even feel awkward about taking inventory of the good things in our lives.
The apostle Paul advised, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9).
Balance is an important part of our recovery. Our daily balance sheet needs to have two sides, since there is both good and bad in all of us. We’ll make choices that are right and choices that are wrong. We may take a step back now and again, but we should also take into account the two steps we took forward. Let’s not get overwhelmed by focusing on the failure in ourselves and others. It is good to confess our wrongs and receive God’s forgiveness on a daily basis. But once we’ve done this, it’s time to stop and consider what remains in our lives. We should look for everything that is right and pure, the things that are lovely and admirable. Let’s take some time during our continuing inventory to count our blessings. Let’s take note of everything we can praise God for in our lives!
What we keep in our minds and hearts often determines what we do and say.
Step Ten
Perseverance
Bible Reading: 2 Timothy 2:3-7
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Recovery is a lifelong process. There will be times when we grow tired and weary, times when we want to throw in the towel. We’ll experience pain, fear, and a host of other emotions. We’ll win some battles but lose others in our war to gain wholeness. We may get discouraged at times when we can’t see any progress, even though we’ve been working hard. But through it all, we must persevere or lose the ground we’ve gained.
The apostle Paul used three illustrations to teach about perseverance. He wrote to Timothy, “Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. And athletes cannot win the prize unless they follow the rules. And hardworking farmers should be the first to enjoy the fruit of their labor. Think about what I am saying. The Lord will help you understand all these things” (2 Timothy 2:3-7).
Like the soldier, we’re in a war that we can only win if we fight to the end. Like the athlete, we must train for a new way of life and follow the steps of recovery to the finish line. Like the farmer, we must do our work in every season and then wait patiently until we see the growth. If we stop working our program before reaching our aim, we may lose everything we’ve fought for, trained ourselves for, and worked hard for.
You cannot win the race for recovery by going just part of the way.
Step Ten
Our Defender
Bible Reading: 1 John 2:1-2
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
At times we may feel like we’re the worst sinner in the whole world. We just seem to keep doing the same things over and over again. We feel guilty! Can God just wink at our sin and pretend that it’s all right? How can he repeatedly forgive us for committing the same wrongs?
The apostle John said, “My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world” (1 John 2:1-2).
God takes sin very seriously. As a righteous Judge, he can’t just ignore sin and act like it doesn’t matter. But we can be forgiven completely and repeatedly. The words used here are legal terms. Jesus is our advocate, a defense attorney in a court of law, who intercedes for us, the lawbreakers. But he is not only the defense attorney; he’s also “the sacrifice that atones for our sins.” This means that his death has been accepted by the court as admissible payment for all of our sins. We’re all guilty. The sentence is death! But our sentence has already been paid by Jesus, if we’ve trusted in him. When we bring our sin to Jesus, he goes back to the Judge on our behalf, reminding him that the sentence has already been served.
There is nothing in our lives that Jesus can’t handle.
Step Ten
No Shortcuts
Bible Reading: Matthew 4:1-11
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
We may be searching for a shortcut to happiness. The road of life often takes us through painful places we’d rather avoid. Some of us have gotten off the right track, lured away by hopes of a faster and easier way to “the good life.”
Jesus faced this same temptation. He was destined to become the King of all the earth. The plan was that he would come to earth as a man, live a sinless life, die to pay for our sins, rise from the dead, and go back to heaven to wait for those who would be his. Then he would return to earth to claim his people and his rightful place as King of kings. Satan offered him a shortcut. “The devil . . . showed him [Jesus] all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. ‘I will give it all to you,’ he said, ‘if you will kneel down and worship me.’ ‘Get out of here, Satan,’ Jesus told him. ‘For the Scriptures say, “You must worship the LORD your God and serve only him’” (Matthew 4:8-10). If Jesus had fallen for this trick, he would have sinned and lost everything.
We need to beware of “shortcuts” that take us even one step outside of God’s will. We’re warned, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). This resistance is sometimes shown by ignoring offers that are “too good to be true.” There are really no quick fixes in life. The path of recovery can be long and hard, but many have gone before us and made it. As we stay on the path, taking one step at a time, we’ll find the good things in life.
On our journey toward recovery, shortcuts are only stepping-stones to a relapse.
Step Ten
Daily Recovery
Bible Reading: Romans 7:18-25
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We may feel like we’re just no good. Deep down inside there is a sense of brokenness that is a constant reminder of our humanity. Hopefully, we’ll get to a place where our behavior is under control and we’ll be able to maintain sobriety. But we should always be aware that as long as we’re in this human body, we’ll have to contend with our lower nature.
Paul said of himself, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. . . . There is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me” (Romans 7:18, 23). King David described God’s tenderness toward us because of our human condition: “The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. Our days on earth are like grass” (Psalm 103:13-15).
No matter how far we progress, our lower nature will always be inclined toward and susceptible to the lure of our addictions. We can’t afford to forget this or let down our guard. Paul wrote, “Make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (Romans 13:14, NKJV). It is this realization that should convince us that maintaining sobriety is something we will need to nurture for the rest of our lives, one day at a time.
We will always be tempted by our old lives; but we need not always fall prey to them.
Step Ten
Self-Nourishment
Bible Reading: 1 Samuel 14:20-45
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We once used our addictions to find comfort and to help us cope with life’s daily battles. In recovery, we may have become so focused on the battle at hand that we’ve neglected our basic physical needs. We may have forgotten our need to enjoy some of the sweet things of life. Failure to take care of ourselves can leave us weak and vulnerable.
During a difficult battle, King Saul had declared, “‘Let a curse fall on anyone who eats before evening—before I have full revenge on my enemies.’ . . . But Jonathan had not heard his father’s command, and he dipped the end of his stick into a piece of honeycomb and ate the honey. After he had eaten it, he felt refreshed. But one of the men saw him and said, ‘Your father made the army take a strict oath that anyone who eats food today will be cursed. That is why everyone is weary and faint.’ ‘My father has made trouble for us all!’ Jonathan exclaimed. ‘A command like that only hurts us. See how refreshed I am now that I have eaten this little bit of honey’” (1 Samuel 14:24, 27-29).
When we’re in recovery, we already feel deprived. We need to make sure that we’re being good to ourselves in healthy ways, eating good food and tasting some of the sweet things that life naturally provides. Recovery isn’t a time for unnecessary deprivation. If we allow ourselves to become too hungry, physically or emotionally, we’ll find ourselves weary and less able to fight the battles we face each day.
We should be more interested in what is right than in looking good.
Step Ten
True Wisdom
Bible Reading: James 3:17-18
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Many of us in recovery are learning to think and act in new ways. So we may find it hard to recognize true wisdom, even when it’s staring us in the face. We may need some guidelines to help us identify wisdom in our thoughts and choices of action.
According to the Bible, there are two aspects of wisdom: the spiritual and the practical. Spiritual wisdom gives insight into the true nature of things. It includes things like, “ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. . . . Learn to know God better and better” (Colossians 1:9-10). Special wisdom is also sometimes given “that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called” (Ephesians 1:18).
Wisdom can be evaluated by its qualities. The Bible tells us that God’s wisdom is “first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere” (James 3:17).
On the practical level, our wisdom can be judged by whether our actions conform to God’s instructions or not. God’s instructions were given to us because they naturally lead to healthy living. Using them, we can find the wisdom we need to walk progressively toward wholeness. This can be one of the standards we use in our continuing daily inventory.
True wisdom will always lead those who follow it toward peace and wholeness.
Step Ten
Moderation in Everything
Bible Reading: Hebrews 12:16-17
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Our appetites can overtake us and make us their slaves. Perfectly good activities can get us into trouble when we fail to practice them in moderation. Or there may be times when we don’t feed our appetites in a balanced way. Then we find ourselves so starved that we fall to our addictions at the first opportunity.
This happened to Esau. One day he came home so hungry that he promised his birthright to his younger brother in exchange for a bowl of porridge. We’re warned, “Make sure that no one is immoral or godless like Esau, who traded his birthright as the firstborn son for a single meal. You know that afterward, when he wanted his father’s blessing, he was rejected. It was too late for repentance, even though he begged with bitter tears” (Hebrews 12:16-17). The apostle Paul wrote, “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’—but not everything is good for you. And even though ‘I am allowed to do anything,’ I must not become a slave to anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12).
We need to satisfy our appetites in appropriate ways, so we don’t become starved and become more susceptible to temptation. There may be some good things that have such control over us that it’s best to avoid them altogether. If we allow the demands of our appetites to become overpowering, we risk losing things (or people) that we might never get back.
We must learn to evaluate the long-range effects of our choices and actions.
Step Ten
Softened Hearts
Bible Reading: Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
As we move through our recovery, our attitudes can change. We long to live a productive life. We may be exposing ourselves to new ideas, even to the Bible, much more than we ever did before. Yet as we examine ourselves in our personal inventory, we may not see the kind of growth we had hoped for. If this is true, we may need to ask whether our minds and emotions are really receptive to the new thoughts and truths we’re hearing.
Jesus told a story to illustrate four ways that the human heart responds to God’s Word. Describing the first way, he said, “A farmer went out to plant some seeds. As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. . . . The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message about the Kingdom and don’t understand it. Then the evil one comes and snatches away the seed that was planted in their hearts” (Matthew 13:3-4, 19).
We may find the Bible to be confusing. Maybe we’re not able to understand because we are defensive toward God, still feeling that he’s rejected us. Perhaps we’re angry because of the pain he’s allowed in our lives. It won’t do us any good, however, if God’s Word is getting into our minds, but not our hearts. We can ask God to help us understand and overcome whatever is causing our resistance toward him. As our hearts grow softer, we will begin to see positive spiritual growth.
We don’t need to understand everything; God will open our minds and soften our hearts.
Step Ten
Dealing with Disappointment
Bible Reading: Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
When we first began our recovery, we may have been surprised to find that God wasn’t the enemy we’d thought him to be. Perhaps we were enthusiastic about our new relationship with God. We may have expected that when we turned our will and our life over to God, the struggle with our addictions would miraculously disappear. That sounded great! Finally there was an escape from the pain! But as we progressed in our recovery, we discovered that we still had to live life in the real world. We had access to God and his power, but we still had to fight the battles. This may have caused us to get discouraged about our relationship with God, causing our spiritual life to wilt.
Jesus described a similar condition using a farming illustration: “Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died” (Matthew 13:5-6). Jesus explained, “The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word” (Matthew 13:20-21).
God never promised an easy life. If we’re disappointed, it’s because our expectations were unrealistic. Have we allowed life’s troubles to destroy our budding faith?
By continuing with our personal inventories, we allow the seeds of recovery to take root.
Step Ten
Weeding the Garden
Bible Reading: Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
While growing in our recovery we may find that weeds crop up in our lives, threatening to choke out the good. We may find ourselves cynical and mistrusting; we become so self-centered that our relationships with others suffer. We may learn to take care of our own needs, which is healthy, but we may go beyond that to where we become greedy and demanding. We may be caught up with worries and fears of various kinds or lapse back into bouts of self-pity. These types of weeds can choke out the good that’s growing out of our recovery.
Jesus described this danger in his illustration about the four types of soil. He said, “Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants” (Matthew 13:7). Then he explained, “The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced” (Matthew 13:22).
As we continue to take personal inventory, we need to watch for the weeds that spring up in our lives. We may have had the chance to taste a better way of life. But once the crisis of confronting our addiction is past, there are new types of distractions that can choke out our spiritual life. We need to take a few moments each day to weed out all the greed, worry, fear, selfishness, cynicism, self-pity, and other negative tendencies that may take root in our hearts. Our support group can help us see when these “weeds” start inhibiting our growth.
Continuing our personal inventory is like weeding a garden; it allows the good things to grow.
Step Ten
Open to Growth
Bible Reading: Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Our initial goal was to stop the addictions that made our lives unmanageable. Once that was done, we may have experienced some confusion about what should come next. We may now wonder what life should be like with our addictions out of the way. Being free from our addictions may produce opportunities for us to put our talents and abilities to work. If we don’t find worthwhile outlets for the new life growing in us, we may become frustrated.
One of Jesus’ parables relates to this. He said, “Other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!” (Matthew 13:8). He explained, “The seed that fell on good soil represents those who truly hear and understand God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!” (Matthew 13:23).
Jesus described how God’s Word, received and understood, can take root in people’s lives. Its growth there will cause them to develop into the productive people God created them to be. There’s great potential within each of us! As we accept God’s perspective on our lives and respond openly to him, new life will sprout in us. This new life will then find expression in our talents and abilities. There’s a world of opportunities for growth. As we take our inventory, we need to check for signs of frustration about not using our talents and look for ways to develop them.
As we admit our wrongs, the seeds of God’s goodness and love blossom in our lives.
Step Ten
New Life
Bible Reading: 1 Peter 2:1-3
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Recovery often brings us into a new life. Everything may seem so new to us! We may feel like a little child, somewhat helpless and not yet able to take care of ourselves the way other people do. A new life is great, but we still need to grow up. As we continue to take personal inventory we can monitor how regularly we are feeding ourselves on God’s Word, which will help us grow. We can also keep our eyes open for the feelings and behavior patterns that characterized our old life. It’s not unusual for some of them to crop up again.
The apostle Peter wrote, “So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness” (1 Peter 2:1-3). Here is another rendering of Peter’s words: “If you have tasted the Lord’s goodness and kindness, cry for more, as a baby cries for milk. Eat God’s Word—read it, think about it—and grow strong in the Lord and be saved.”
Our old patterns of hatred, pretending, dishonesty, jealousy, gossip, and the like have to be dealt with as they arise. They will show up! But as they do, we need to get rid of them, one by one. We also need to feed on God’s Word every day so that we can continue in to grow in our new life.
The longer we continue in recovery, the more we want to recover.
Step Ten
A Sensitive Conscience
Bible Reading: 1 Timothy 1:18-20
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We’ve probably experienced the feelings that result when we do something our conscience has warned us against. We’ve felt the shame, and we may have distanced ourselves from God as a result. We may find that our conscience has been revived as we’ve worked through recovery. A healthy conscience is a necessary tool for recognizing wrong and taking a personal inventory. There are things we can do to help reactivate a conscience that has been damaged or put to sleep.
Paul told Timothy, “Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear” (1 Timothy 1:19). The word conscience literally means “having a co-perception.” It describes the act of perceiving our will and the will of God simultaneously. As we learn what the will of God is, we can set that perception alongside our own, thus strengthening our conscience. As we exercise our choice to do what is right (i.e., God’s will), our conscience will be clear.
One way to strengthen our conscience is to apply ourselves to study the Bible. Paul said, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). Doing these things will help us become better able to recognize the sin in our lives, so we can promptly deal with it.
When we’ve discovered what God wants of us, we’ve also discovered the shortest road to inner peace.
Step Ten
Filling the Empty Places
Bible Reading: Luke 11:24-26
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Our addictions once played an important role in our lives. We used them to help us cope with an emptiness, a nameless pain, or some other lack, deep inside. We may have stopped using or acting out our addictions, but have we filled the needs that prompted them? Have we dealt with the empty places that the addictions once filled?
Jesus said, “When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, searching for rest. But when it finds none, it says, ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ So it returns and finds that its former home is all swept and in order. Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before” (Luke 11:24-26).
Jesus saw into the spiritual realm as clearly as he saw into the natural realm. He knew demonic oppression when he saw it. For us the picture isn’t as clear. It’s hard for us to know how much the spiritual forces of darkness are involved in our addictions. We can use this as a good analogy, at the least, and perhaps as a glimpse into a spiritual reality behind our addictions. Either way, we have a problem if we get rid of something bad and fail to fill the vacancy with something strong and good.
The failure to fill the vacancy can lead to a relapse. We need to consider whether our lives are being filled with God’s power. We also need to make sure that the areas of vulnerability in our lives are being filled in healthy ways.
The empty places in our lives can be filled only by God.
Step Ten
Admitting Our Flaws
Bible Reading: James 4:7-10
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
For those of us who tend toward perfectionism, admitting we are wrong can be very difficult. Great fear may be generated at the thought of admitting our flaws, faults, and weaknesses. Sometimes the fear can be so intense that we feel like we would be utterly destroyed if we admitted all of our wrongs. This fragile sense of self is often hidden by a false front of confidence. We may even be perceived as a know-it-all. But in reality, it’s our lack of confidence that keeps us from being able to admit it when we’re wrong.
James wrote, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor” (James 4:10). The apostle Peter said, “Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor” (1 Peter 5:6).
Our feelings of weakness and worthlessness are not a surprise to God. King David once wrote, “The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust” (Psalm 103:13-14).
When we take our personal inventory we are not told to admit our faults to everyone. If we find it hard to admit them openly, we can start by admitting them to God. By humbling ourselves before him in this way, we’ll receive his help and he will lift us up. As our trust in God grows, we’ll be freed from the fear of being destroyed when we admit our faults.
Admitting our flaws to God is the first step toward admitting them to others.
Step Ten
Helping Hands
Bible Reading: Matthew 18:19-20
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We’ve probably already been convinced that we need the support of others in our recovery. We know whom we can trust to be supportive and who will be destructive. We know who will help us walk along the path of God’s will, and who will just preach at us and condemn us. We know those who struggle as we do, who can be depended on for encouragement when we slip up. We’re also learning that we can be a support to others.
James advised, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16). Jesus told us, “If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them” (Matthew 18:19-20).
There is great power in coming together and being concerned for one another’s needs. We all need encouragement and support as we go through the steps of recovery, especially when we have to deal with weaknesses and wrongs. We need to nurture relationships with real, flesh-and-blood people who are willing to accept us in our imperfect condition. We need to be praying with them when we stumble, and praying for them when they do. We can help each other see areas that need attention; areas we might miss all alone. We should devote some of our time and energy to maintaining the positive relationships that encourage our recovery.
A cord with three strands is not easily broken.
Step Ten
An Honest Assessment
Bible Reading: Philippians 3:11-14
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Life is a journey that takes us beyond recovery from our past and into a hopeful future. By realizing we haven’t “arrived,” we can experience the excitement of pursuit. We can know the thrill of seeking after and achieving our goals. We don’t have to pretend to be perfect or to know everything. We don’t need to fear that one wrong move will destroy everything.
The apostle Paul said, “One way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past, . . . I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:11-14).
Paul could commit himself to know the “mighty power that raised him [Christ] from the dead” (Philippians 3:10) and admit his imperfections in the same breath. So can we! We haven’t learned everything we need to know. So we, too, can pursue the future and leave the past behind us. As we take our inventory we need to check to see that we don’t get stuck in the past. We need to make sure that recovery becomes a bridge to a bright new future instead of a circle of revolving past hurts.
The bridge to a hopeful future cannot be crossed with burdens from the past.
Step Ten
Healing Hunger
Bible Reading: John 6:32-35
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
There is a hunger in every human soul—a hunger for true love, a hunger to be understood, a hunger to be valued. There’s a hunger for God. He created that hunger to drive us to himself. We may have fed our hunger with the stuff that tasted good emotionally, but it was never satisfied.
The Lord spoke through the prophet Isaiah asking, “Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink—even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk—it’s all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen to me, and you will eat what is good. You will enjoy the finest food” (Isaiah 55:1-2).
Jesus said, “And now he [my Father] offers you the true bread from heaven. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. . . . I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty” (John 6:32-33, 35).
Jesus Christ claimed to be the Person we’re all really hungry for. We could be just filling ourselves up on meetings and even religious rituals without nourishing ourselves on a relationship with him. We may not be using our previous addictions to deal with our hunger, but are we really finding satisfaction? What are we doing to make sure that we’re taking in the “true bread,” which can satisfy the deepest of needs?
Our dependencies cannot fill the void that only God was meant to fill.
Step Ten
Opening Up
Bible Reading: Acts 13:21-23
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We may be inclined to cover up our wrongs or insist that our way is right, even though it’s contrary to what God says in the Bible. This attitude may have played a significant role in our past problems. We may not yet believe that it’s better to honestly and repeatedly admit our wrongs than to work hard at covering them up.
In recounting the history of Israel, the apostle Paul said, “The people begged for a king, and God gave them Saul . . . who reigned for forty years. But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David . . . , a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do’” (Acts 13:21-22).
King Saul looked great on the outside. He was tall and handsome. He seemed to always have an answer to cover up his wrongdoing. But God finally removed him from the kingship because whenever he was wrong, he refused to admit it! (See 1 Samuel 15.) God replaced him with David. We might assume that David was an exemplary man. But actually, David was a man who committed many terrible sins, including adultery and murder. The one quality that distinguished him from Saul was that he always agreed with God’s view of morality. He immediately admitted his sins when he knew he had violated God’s commands.
God isn’t looking for someone who looks good on the surface. God has unfailing mercies and love for us when we agree with his commands and admit our faults when we don’t measure up.
A spring cleaning is only possible after the dirty rooms have been opened.
Step Ten
Repeated Forgiveness
Bible Reading: Romans 5:3-5
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We may grow impatient with ourselves when we continue to run into the same sins over and over again. This may cause us to get discouraged, or we may be afraid that we are doomed to relapse.
Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? ‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’” (Matthew 18:21-22). If this is to be our attitude toward others, doesn’t it make sense that we should extend the same grace to ourselves? We need to be patient with ourselves.
Paul wrote, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” (Romans 5:3-5).
Learning to wait patiently is an important characteristic for us to develop. Each time we admit wrong and accept God’s forgiveness, our hope of salvation has a chance to be exercised and to grow stronger. We no longer have to hide in shame every time we slip. We can admit our wrongs and move on. God’s love is reaffirmed every time we rely on it. In this way, God helps us to hold our heads high no matter what happens.
Our repeated failures afford us repeated opportunities for healing and growth.
Step Ten
Recurrent Sins
Bible Reading: 1 John 1:8-10
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We may feel awkward about bringing our recurrent sins before God. We may be embarrassed by the number of times we’ve had to deal with the same issues—issues that stubbornly refuse to be washed away. We may imagine that God is collecting a long list to be used against us.
The apostle John wrote, “If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. [And it is perfectly proper for God to do this for us because Christ died to wash away our sins.] If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar” (1 John 1:8-10).
To confess means to agree with God that what he declares to be wrong really is. To do this, we need to recognize our wrongs when they occur. Notice that he says he will forgive us and cleanse of from all wickedness. Each time we confess a sin it is washed away. Our lives are like slates that have been wiped clean. Our sins are not recorded on some celestial list. They’re gone forever! And each time we confess a sin we’ve dealt with before, it’s forgiven all over again. Some areas of our lives need more cleaning than others! God doesn’t get angry when we come back to him again and again. This is the process he set up to cleanse the areas in our lives that cause the most trouble. There’s no need to feel awkward. God wants us to come every time we sin.
Confession opens up our hearts to God’s cleansing power.
Step Ten
Healing Fellowship
Bible Reading: 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
We’ve all had different experiences at the churches we’ve attended. Some of us may have felt condemned and shamed at a church when we desperately needed its help. We may fear rejection. We may wish we were part of a church but don’t know how to find a good one. Or we may feel out of place in the church we presently attend. Some of us may think that we don’t need a church, that we can do fine on our own.
The Bible makes it clear that no church is perfect, but we’re still told to join with a group of Christians. It is through our relationships in the church that God molds us. The apostle Paul once wrote, “Honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work” (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13).
The Bible also says, “Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another” (Hebrews 10:25). The church should be a place where believers can encourage and give each other guidance. They should urge each other to pursue a godly course of conduct. Notice that Paul’s advice looks to the future rather than looking back. In the church context, God can raise up people to encourage us to keep moving ahead in our spiritual development. Their perspective can help us to continue taking stock of our lives as we recover.
The church community should provide help, encouragement, and direction.
Step Ten
Human Weakness
Bible Reading: Zechariah 4:6-7
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
As we continue to take personal inventory, we will be reminded that we are human. We are powerless in ourselves, weak and constantly in need of God’s mighty power.
Just before Jesus ascended into heaven, he told his disciples, “And now I will send the Holy Spirit, just as my Father promised. But stay here in the city until the Holy Spirit comes and fills you with power from heaven” (Luke 24:49). When Zerubbabel was given the responsibility for rebuilding the Jewish Temple, God sent him this message: “It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. Nothing, not even a mighty mountain, will stand in Zerubbabel’s way; it will become a level plain before him! And when Zerubbabel sets the final stone of the Temple in place, the people will shout: ‘May God bless it! May God bless it!’” (Zechariah 4:6-7).
Every day we need to rely on God’s Spirit to fill us with the power we need to live our new life. Just as Zerubbabel could not rely on his own might and power, we cannot trust in our own strength. But we can see our admitted weaknesses swallowed up in the power of God. We can succeed and scale whatever mountains we face by the power of God’s Spirit. When we learn to live this way, we will be full of thanksgiving for God’s mercy. We’ll be able to tell everyone that it is the grace of God that keeps us.
Our weaknesses provide endless opportunities for God to prove his power.