Step Three
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Step Three
Submission and Rest
Bible Reading: Matthew 11:27-30
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
When our burdens become heavy and we see that our way of life is leading us toward death, we may finally become willing to let someone else do the driving. We’ve probably worked hard at trying to get our lives on the right track, but still feel like we always end up on a dead-end street.
Proverbs tells us, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death” (Proverbs 14:12). When we began our addictive behaviors we were probably seeking a way to find pleasure or to overcome the pain of living. The way seemed right at first, but it became clear that we were on the wrong track. But then we were unable to turn around on our own. Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28-29).
To take on a yoke implies being united to another in order to work together. Those who are yoked together must go in the same direction, but by doing so, their work is made considerably easier. Jesus is saying that when we finally decide to submit our lives and our will to his direction, our burdens will become manageable. When we let him do the driving, we will be able to “find rest” for our souls. He knows the way and has the strength to turn us around and get us on the road toward life.
We all wear a yoke on our shoulders; the trick is in finding the right master.
Step Three
Releasing Worry
Bible Reading: Matthew 6:25-34
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
It is often our worries about the small details of life that lead to our undoing. Life’s daily demands can be overwhelming. Perhaps, our “acting out” is a way of escaping. When we are sober, we are once again faced with the pressures of life. Learning to manage these in a new way is a key to maintaining our sobriety.
Jesus said, “I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
“And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing. . . . And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. . . .
“So don’t worry at about these things. . . . Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matthew 6:25-34).
Since God cares deeply for us, we can choose to live one day at a time and turn the details of our lives over to him.
God calls us to live one day at a time.
Step Three
Discovering God
Bible Reading: Acts 17:23-28
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Before we can turn our lives over to God, we need to have an accurate understanding of who he is. It’s crucial that our lives be turned over to the God who loves us, and not the “god” of this world who seeks only to deceive and destroy. The apostle Paul described the deceiver this way: “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God” (2 Corinthians 4:4). Has Satan deceived us? How can we be sure that we have a true understanding of God?
When Paul addressed the men of Athens he said, “I saw your many shrines. And one of your altars had this inscription on it: ‘To an Unknown God.’ This God, whom you worship without knowing, is the one I’m telling you about. . . . His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist” (Acts 17:23, 27-28).
Even though God may be unknown to us, he is near and willing to reveal himself. God has promised, “If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me” (Jeremiah 29:13). Turning over our will involves becoming willing to accept God as he is, instead of insisting on creating him in our own image. When we look for God with an open heart and mind, we will find him.
As we seek God, he makes himself known to us.
Step Three
Belonging to God
Bible Reading: Daniel 3:14-27
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Our decision to turn our will and our lives over to God will be tested. By making this decision we set our lives at odds with the crowd. This will include most of our old friends and maybe even members of our family. We should expect some heat and not be shocked when it comes. But God will be with us in the fire, to preserve us and to bring us through.
In the book of Daniel we meet three young Jewish men who were taken captive and relocated to a strange land. They entrusted their lives to God and refused to worship the idols of Babylon. Their resolve was so strong that when they were threatened with death by fire they replied, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. . . . But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods.” They were promptly bound with ropes and thrown into the furnace. The king was amazed at what he saw then. “‘Look!’ Nebuchadnezzar shouted, ‘I see four men, unbound, walking around in the fire unharmed! And the fourth looks like a god!’” (Daniel 3:17-18, 25).
God was right there, taking the heat with them. The only thing they lost by turning their will and their lives over to him was the ropes that had bound them. Those were burned up in the flames. When we’re challenged because of our decision to turn our lives over to God, we can expect God to be there for us, too.
Nothing can bind us when God wants us to be free.
Step Three
An Open Hand
Bible Reading: Matthew 16:24-28
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Many of us who struggle with addictions have spent much of our strength just trying to hold on to our lives. Maybe we fear loosening our grip to let someone else take care of us. We may be doing a lousy job of caring for our own lives, but we still hesitate about letting go. Perhaps, we’re afraid that if we do let go, no one will be there to take hold of us.
In the Old Testament we often hear about people being “consecrated” to God. This meant that they were making a decision to turn the remainder of their lives over to God for whatever purpose he desired. The root of this word literally means “an open hand” as opposed to a closed one. They had a ceremony to let go of what they were holding on to for their own lives, and to proclaim that God was welcome to take hold of them. Jesus told us, “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it” (Matthew 16:25). By now we probably recognize that we were losing our lives anyway, no matter how hard we tried to hang on.
Once we decide to let go of the control of our will and our lives, something wonderful is promised. Jesus says of those who turn their lives over to him: “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me” (John 10:28). When we finally find the courage to let go, God is waiting to grasp our lives firmly and hold them securely for all eternity.
Holding on, we lose what we have; letting go, we receive even more.
Step Three
Trusting God
Bible Reading: Numbers 23:18-24
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
It is not uncommon to link our perceptions about God to our childhood experiences with people who played powerful roles in our lives. If we have been victimized in the past by people who were capricious, abusive, distant, uncaring, or incompetent, we may now anticipate these qualities in God.
Just because God is a Power greater than we are, and the people who victimized us represented a power greater than we were, it does not mean that God will harm us if we entrust our lives to him. Even Jesus tells us that he didn’t entrust himself to men because he knew what was in their hearts. Nevertheless, he voluntarily turned his life over to the will of God the Father. “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people” (Psalm 118:8).
We may have learned that when we place our confidence in people, our lives can be devastated by disappointment. We can’t let this keep us from ever trusting again. In working Step Three we can make a healthy decision to turn our will and our lives over to the only one who is worthy of being trusted. The Bible tells us, “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind” (Numbers 23:19). And God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you” (Hebrews 13:5).
We realize that we can’t make it all alone. This time we can stop being the victim. We can turn our lives over to someone who is really able to care for our needs.
We trust in many things, but it is best to trust in the only one worthy of our trust—God himself.
Step Three
Giving up Control
Bible Reading: Psalm 61:1-8
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
The thought of turning our will and our lives over can be attractive. When we give in to our addictions aren’t we giving control of ourselves over to another power? Aren’t we, in some way, giving up personal responsibility for our lives? When we are overwhelmed or wanting to escape, our addictions can make us feel strong or safe, attractive, powerful, or happy. So, in a sense, we are very comfortable with the thought of giving up control of our will and our lives.
We can simply change our focus and turn our lives over to God instead of the sources we have turned to in the past. The apostle Paul touched on this contrast when he said, “Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18).
When we are overwhelmed and in need of some kind of escape, we have a new place to turn. King David declared, “The LORD is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O LORD, do not abandon those who search for you” (Psalm 9:9-10).
David also wrote, “From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me” (Psalm 61:2-3).
God never changes; he is always present with us.
Step Three
Free to Choose
Bible Reading: Deuteronomy 30:15-20
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Everyone has a life or death decision to make. We’ve been created with the supreme privilege of free will, the ability to choose. Even when we are in the bondage of our addiction we still have choices confronting us. When we are in recovery, we face the nagging lure of choosing to fall back into our addiction. The freedom to choose brings with it the burden of the results of our choices. And these choices affect our lives and the lives of our children. Free will is our blessing and our responsibility!
God spoke through Moses, saying, “Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. For I command you this day to love the LORD your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live . . . and the LORD your God will bless you. . . . But if your heart turns away and you refuse to listen, . . . then I warn you now that you will certainly be destroyed. . . . I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the LORD your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life” (Deuteronomy 30:15-20).
Although we may feel out of control with respect to our addiction, we can choose to set our hearts in the direction of life. We can choose to love God and begin to walk in his ways.
God doesn’t force his will on us, but he is there if we decide to put ourselves in his hands.
Step Three
Single-Minded Devotion
Bible Reading: James 4:7-10
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
We may already have chosen to follow God’s way, letting his ways define the overall direction for our lives. But even so, many of us still keep a part of our hearts hidden away from God. We have devoted this part of ourselves to gratifying our addictions, to doing things that are contrary to the will of God. This sets us up for living a double life, which can fill us with guilt, shame, and instability.
Even for those of us who have made the decision to give our hearts to God, we face new moments of decision every day. James was addressing Christians when he wrote, “So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts” (James 4:7-8).
When we choose to live the double life, it is easy to become doubtful that God hears us at all. James wrote, “For a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world” (James 1:6-8).
When we resist the devil at every turn and choose to draw close to God, he will draw close to us. When we open up our hidden hearts and begin to make choices in favor of recovery, we will soon grow confident that God desires to help us.
God has already defeated the devil; all we need to do is choose the winning side.
Step Three
Redeeming the Past
Bible Reading: Isaiah 54:4-8
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
We all come to God with a past. In turning our lives over to him, we need to give him our past with all its losses and shame. We need to hand over every moment of disgrace, every tear we’ve ever cried, every word we wish we could take back, all the broken promises, the loneliness, all the dreams that died, the dashed hopes, the broken relationships, our successes and failures, all of our yesterdays and the scars they’ve left in our lives.
Under Old Testament law, if someone lost freedom, property, or spouse because of a disaster or a debt, the next of kin was looked to as a “redeemer.” If property had been lost because of an inability to pay, the redeemer would pay for it and return it to the original owner. If a woman lost her husband, the redeemer would marry her, providing her with protection and love. God tells us, “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the LORD of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer. . . . For the LORD has called you back from your grief” (Isaiah 54:4-6).
God is our redeemer, the restorer of our losses. We need to make him Lord of all, even of the days and dreams in our past. When we give God our past, he can make up for all that we’ve lost. He can rid us of the shame. He can fill the empty places in our hearts.
We sell ourselves into slavery; God removes our shame and buys us back.
Step Three
The Deal of a Lifetime
Bible Reading: Philippians 3:4-11
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
When we think of turning our lives over to God, it’s not unusual to try to polish up our credentials as best we can before presenting them to him. We look at all the worthwhile things we’ve done, how we’ve tried to be good, whatever we feel we have to offer. We don’t really need to sort out the good from the bad. God doesn’t care what’s in the mix, as long as we give him the whole package.
Before Paul became a Christian he kept careful count of his “good deeds” and took pride in his ancestry. When he finally decided to turn his life over to the care of God, this is what he said: “I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him” (Philippians 3:7-9).
When we’ve made the decision to turn our will and our lives over to God, we need to give him our whole life with all its assets and liabilities. We can’t earn his love by the “good stuff” in our lives any more than we can discourage his love by all the “bad stuff.” It’s a straight trade-in. We give him our whole life and being. He gives us complete forgiveness, love, redemption, and acceptance in the person of Jesus Christ. When we see what God is offering us and the little we have to offer him, it’s clear that we’re getting quite a deal!
God offers us far more than anyone could ever give in return.
Step Three
A Bright Future
Bible Reading: Luke 23:32-43
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Perhaps we’ve become so disappointed that we’ve given up hope for the future altogether. We don’t know what the future holds, but when we give our lives to God, he can be trusted with our future. Regardless of how bad our lives might be at the moment, we can still trust him to bring about glorious good in our lives.
Here’s a story of a man who dared to trust God with his future. And he trusted God when it looked like he didn’t even have a future to look forward to. “Two others, both criminals, were led out to be executed with him. When they came to a place called The Skull, they nailed him to the cross. And the criminals were also crucified—one on his right and one on his left. . . . One of the criminals hanging beside him scoffed, ‘So, you’re the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself—and us, too, while you’re at it!’ But the other criminal protested. ‘Don’t you fear God even when you have been sentenced to die? We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn’t done anything wrong.’ Then he said, ‘Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.’ And Jesus replied, ‘I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise’” (Luke 23:32-33, 39-43).
No matter what dire straits we may find ourselves in presently, we can give God our future and be assured that eternal life in paradise will far outweigh the sufferings of this present life. He can also transform our lives right now, making our future down here as bright as the heavenly one!
Even when everything seems dark and hopeless, God promises us a bright, new future.
Step Three
Never Lost
Bible Reading: Deuteronomy 8:1-18
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
The road that leads to recovery is often uncharted and dangerous. We may have been born into a family that was lost in a maze of dysfunction, and we have had to look for the way out. There are times of need, times of fear, times when we wonder if there is a God out there who cares at all.
The Israelites who were born in the wilderness must have experienced similar feelings. Their parents had sinned and were left to wander in the wilderness for forty years. The new generation had spent much of their lives going nowhere, and for no fault of their own. When the Israelites were about to enter the Promised Land, Moses showed how even there, God’s care was present. He said, “Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock! He fed you with manna in the wilderness . . . to humble you and test you for your own good” (Deuteronomy 8:15-16).
Even when we seem lost, God is watching over us to protect our lives until we can get to a better place. He does take care of us in ways we may take for granted. Peter tells us, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7). Just being alive and in recovery shows that God cares for our lives!
When lost in our personal deserts, we can be sure God is never far away.
Step Three
No One Is Worthless
Bible Reading: Matthew 25:14-30
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
When we’ve come out of a difficult season of life, we tend to think of our lives as a mess. But we need to realize that there is more in our lives than pain and problems; there is more to us than our addictions. If we’ve been treated as worthless, we may overlook our many assets—our talents, resources, and abilities. God wants these turned over to him, too.
Jesus told a story about a man who went away on a long trip. He left some “talents” to three of his servants to invest while he was away. (A talent was a unit of currency used in biblical times.) They were given differing amounts of money to invest in keeping with each of their abilities. Two of the servants used their money profitably. The third was afraid to try and buried his in the ground. When the master returned he was very pleased with the first two servants and rewarded them. He was very angry with the servant who just hid the money away, failing to make a return on it. The master had expected him to make the most of what he had been given (Matthew 25:14-30).
When we turn our lives over to God, that includes all the gifts he has entrusted to us. To say that we have no talents or abilities is an insult to the one who gave them to us. We’re not worthless! We may have to dig around a bit to find those talents that have been buried while we were consumed by our craziness, but God expects us to find them and use them. This will improve our self-esteem and help in our recovery.
God wants all of us because he loves all of us.
Step Three
Filled with Joy
Bible Reading: Acts 3:2-8
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
As we travel the road to recovery, we may feel like we’ve been reduced to begging for help. Our lives have been crippled by our own addictions and the addictions of others. We approach God’s door, with heads down, because we feel desperate for the help he promises to give. But even though we come to God with our heads down, that’s not how it has to stay.
Listen to this story about Peter and John’s encounter with a man who felt this way: “As they approached the Temple, a man lame from birth was being carried in. Each day he was put beside the Temple gate, the one called the Beautiful Gate, so he could beg from the people going into the Temple. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for some money. Peter and John looked at him intently, and Peter said, ‘Look at us!’ The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting some money. But Peter said, ‘I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!’ Then Peter took the lame man by the right hand and helped him up. And as he did, the man’s feet and ankles were instantly healed and strengthened. . . and [he] began to walk! Then, walking, leaping, and praising God, he went into the Temple with them” (Acts 3:2-8).
We may turn to God hoping for a meager handout to keep us going. But he has much more for us! He wants to give us such a full recovery that we are healed and transformed. He wants to take us from being the beggar at God’s door, to being so full of joy that we can’t keep from leaping and praising God.
When we ask God for help, he gives us what we really need.
Step Three
An Unfair World
Bible Reading: Genesis 39:1-23
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
There are times when life treats us unfairly. We may protest the injustices, fall victim to self-pity, give in to a why-even-try kind of mentality, or sink into depression. We are invited to leave the injustices we experience in the hands of God.
If there’s anyone in history who can complain of unfair treatment, it’s Joseph. He was one of eleven brothers, the favorite of his father. In their jealousy, the ten older brothers sold Joseph as a slave into Egypt. Once a slave, Joseph devoted himself to doing a good job for his master and was quickly promoted. He was then propositioned by his master’s wife, and when he refused her, was falsely accused of rape by this vindictive woman. Thrown into prison with no hope of release, he again did his best. He was soon running the administration of the whole prison. In the end, Joseph was freed and promoted to be prime minister of Egypt. In this position he was able to confront and forgive the brothers who had sold him into slavery so many years before (Genesis 37–45).
It takes courage and wisdom to maintain a healthy attitude when life isn’t fair. This comes from trusting that God will take up our cause and vindicate us, as he has promised. We can’t change the fact that we live in an imperfect world, where things aren’t as they should be. Turning these matters over to God can help us change our response to the injustices of life and continue to focus on our recovery rather than remaining a victim.
Looking at circumstances brings despair; looking to God brings hope for recovery.
Step Three
Unexpected Problems
Bible Reading: 2 Samuel 15:13-26
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
There are times in recovery when it seems like we’ve made it. We reach a place where we feel like we can relax and stop living one day at a time. Then life surprises us with an unexpected problem.
King David had reached a pinnacle of success. He had conquered giants, won many battles, captured the hearts of his people, and overcome enemies on every side. While he was in this comfortable position, life surprised him with a rebellion led by his own son. Here’s what happened: “A messenger soon arrived in Jerusalem to tell David, ‘All Israel has joined Absalom in a conspiracy against you!’ ‘Then we must flee at once, or it will be too late!’ David urged his men. ‘Hurry! If we get out of the city before Absalom arrives, both we and the city of Jerusalem will be spared from disaster. . . . If the LORD sees fit,’ David said, ‘he will bring me back to see the Ark and the Tabernacle again. But if he is through with me, then let him do what seems best to him’” (2 Samuel 15:13-14, 25-26).
King David wisely accepted what was happening and responded to reality, not to what he wished were true. It seems that David had gotten out of the habit of relying on God, day by day, but he quickly placed his life back in God’s hands. God did protect him and returned him to the throne in Jerusalem. When life hits us with unexpected threats, we, too, can let that be a reminder to turn our lives back over to God.
When we think we’ve arrived, it’s time to begin again.
Step Three
Doing God’s Will
Bible Reading: 1 Samuel 24:1-11
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between the right thing to do and just an opportune moment. When we are working to make changes in our lives and relationships, we may be uncertain of what to do at times. When this happens, we need to rely on God’s wisdom to help us make our decisions.
The jealousy and abuse of King Saul made young David’s life miserable. Saul knew that God had chosen David to be king instead of him. Although David was a loyal subject, Saul tried to kill him. Once, when David was hiding in a cave, King Saul came in without knowing David was there. “‘Now’s your opportunity!’ David’s men whispered to him. ‘Today the LORD is telling you, “I will certainly put your enemy into your power, to do with as you wish.”’ So David crept forward and cut off a piece of the hem of Saul’s robe. But then David’s conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul’s robe. ‘The LORD knows I shouldn’t have done that to my lord the king,’ he said to his men. ‘The LORD forbid that I should do this to my lord the king and attack the LORD’s anointed one, for the LORD himself has chosen him.’ So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul” (1 Samuel 24:4-7).
David knew what God expected of him in this situation, and he chose to go along with God’s will. In trying to give our will to God, it is important to know what his will is in a given situation. When we aren’t sure what to do, we can look to see if the Bible gives us any guidance on similar situations. Then we will have a clear view of what it means to turn our will over to God.
When we’ve turned our lives over to God, we can rest assured that he is with us.
Step Three
Self-Control
Bible Reading: 2 Peter 1:2-9
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
We would love to have self-control! But trying to find it within ourselves can become as much of an obsession as our primary addiction.
According to Peter, self-control is one step in the middle of a larger progression. He said, “May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord. By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 1:2-8).
Self-control is something that comes as we grow progressively closer to God. Taking one step at a time, one day at a time, God will give us his own character, including self-control.
Our self-control increases as we give increasing control over to God.
Step Three
Freedom in Forgiveness
Bible Reading: Matthew 6:9-15
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
We can sometimes get so focused on ourselves during recovery that we don’t spend much time dealing with the way others have sinned against us. Or maybe we’re totally focused on the way we’ve been mistreated, as an excuse for our behavior. This leaves us with emotional baggage that will hinder our progress. Forgiving others is an important key to turning our will over to God.
Jesus taught his disciples, “Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:9-15).
Forgiveness is a choice of our will. Just as our forgiveness was not based on excusing the wrongs we’ve done, neither does our forgiveness of others call for us to excuse what they’ve done. We must first convict the offender in our minds, then turn the matter of vengeance over to God. This helps us face the truth about our own pain. It also frees us from any excuse to continue our compulsive behavior because of what’s been done to us.
Forgiveness begins as a choice but becomes a process that opens us to God’s love and forgiveness.
Step Three
Learning to Trust
Bible Reading: Jeremiah 9:4-9
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Most of us know the pain caused by deceit, both for the deceiver and for the one who has been betrayed. We may be trying to learn to trust again after living in situations where we haven’t been given any reason to trust.
David cried, “Help, O LORD, for the godly are fast disappearing! The faithful have vanished from the earth! Neighbors lie to each other, speaking with flattering lips and deceitful hearts. May the LORD cut off their flattering lips and silence their boastful tongues. They say, ‘We will lie to our hearts’ content. Our lips are our own—who can stop us?’” (Psalm 12:1-4).
Jeremiah prophesied, “‘Beware of your neighbor! Don’t even trust your brother! For brother takes advantage of brother, and friend slanders friend. They all fool and defraud each other; no one tells the truth. With practiced tongues they tell lies; they wear themselves out with all their sinning. They pile lie upon lie and utterly refuse to acknowledge me,’ says the LORD. Therefore, this is what the LORD of Heaven’s Armies says: ‘See, I will melt them down in a crucible and test them like metal’” (Jeremiah 9:4-7).
When we turn our lives over to God, we should try to give him our trust as well. He understands that this will be hard. Our trust in God can be absolute. Trust in people should be cautious; it should only be placed in those who have proven themselves trustworthy.
Trust is only as worthy as its object; trust in God is always a wise bet.
Step Three
Hope in God
Bible Reading: Jeremiah 17:5-8
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
We may have learned a long time ago that hoping only brings disappointment. Our hopes were dashed. The promises we believed were broken. We were left feeling like fools for ever hoping in the first place. But perhaps we were devastated because we put our hope in the wrong place.
“The LORD says: ‘Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the LORD. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, in an uninhabited salty land. But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit’” (Jeremiah 17:5-8).
Turning our lives over to God includes placing our hope in him, even if people have disappointed us. When we place all of our hope in other people, it’s like expecting a tree to flourish in a barren desert. Our thirst continues, and they are unable to satisfy our deepest needs. Placing our hope in God changes everything. Jesus said, “The water I give . . . becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life” (John 4:14). When our hope is in God, and our lives in his care, we are sustained when we otherwise would be devastated.
If we put our trust and hope in God, we will never be let down.
Step Three
God’s Faithfulness
Bible Reading: Lamentations 3:17-26
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Perhaps we’re brokenhearted because of the bitter suffering in our family. Maybe our once-good reputations have been ruined and now we’re ashamed. Our lives have been taken captive and destroyed before the watchful eyes of friend and foe alike.
Jeremiah watched this happen to his beloved nation, Israel. It’s no wonder he’s known as the weeping prophet. The people of God refused to listen to Jeremiah’s warnings and were taken captive by a heathen nation as a result. Lamentations is a record of Jeremiah’s lament over the shameful fate of God’s people. He weeps, “Peace has been stripped away, and I have forgotten what prosperity is. I cry out, ‘My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the LORD is lost!’ The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!’ The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the LORD” (Lamentations 3:17-26).
Turning our lives over to God includes giving him our pain and suffering. God is strong and loving enough to lift our burdens and mend our broken hearts.
When all hope is gone, we can entrust ourselves to God, remembering his never-ending compassion.
Step Three
Glorious Victory
Bible Reading: Zechariah 9:9-12
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Our lives may be a battlefield. We may have been taken captive in the ongoing war between good and evil. When we turn our lives over to God, will he rescue us and keep us safe?
Five hundred years before the birth of Jesus, the prophet Zechariah wrote these words: “Rejoice, O people of Zion! Shout in triumph, O people of Jerusalem! Look, your king is coming to you. He is righteous and victorious, yet he is humble, riding on a donkey—riding on a donkey’s colt. [This prophecy was fulfilled by the coming of Jesus (see Matthew 21:4-11).] I will remove the battle chariots from Israel and the warhorses from Jerusalem. I will destroy all the weapons used in battle, and your king will bring peace to the nations. His realm will stretch from sea to sea and from the Euphrates River to the ends of the earth. Because of the covenant I made with you, sealed with blood, I will free your prisoners from death in a waterless dungeon. Come back to the place of safety, all you prisoners who still have hope! I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles” (Zechariah 9:9-12).
Jesus fulfilled part of these prophecies when he came the first time. He did deliver us from death by shedding his own blood to seal our pardon. When he comes again, as he promised, he will bring peace on earth. For now, we can take cover in Jesus as our refuge. When the war is over and Jesus is crowned King of kings, he will repay all those who are his, two blessings for every trouble suffered in the war! In the battles of life we can turn our lives over to God and have a strong, sure hope.
When we give ourselves to God, he always gives back more than we gave.
Step Three
Promised Joy
Bible Reading: 1 Peter 1:3-6
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Life is rough. We must constantly struggle against the sin inherent in our mortal bodies. We live with the realities of pain, sickness, and death. We live in a world that is constantly decaying. Even if we turn our lives over to God, what is there to look forward to?
Peter tells us, “Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you. . . . And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see. So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while” (1 Peter 1:3-6).
Paul encourages us with this: “And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay” (Romans 8:17-21). These promises are for us!
Our trust in God’s work on our behalf allows us to live in hope and joy.
Step Three
Hungry Hearts
Bible Reading: Ruth 1–4
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Please love me!” Isn’t this the whispered cry of our hearts? We may be afraid to admit it for fear of rejection, but we are all hungry for love. Some of us are starving because of previous losses. We find ourselves gathering whatever crumbs we can find to fill that hunger deep inside.
Ruth was a young woman who had known loss and hunger. Her husband died, leaving her without any means of emotional or physical sustenance. She followed her mother-in-law, Naomi, to a foreign land and was forced to gather leftover grain from the harvested fields just to stay alive. The man who owned the fields was a relative who could, if he so chose, marry Ruth and fulfill her needs for love and protection. Naomi told her to go to the threshing floor where this man, Boaz, was sleeping and curl up at his feet. Culturally, this displayed a request to be taken care of. Boaz was quite happy to find Ruth there and married her, providing the love and provision she had lost and now longed for (Ruth 1–4).
In turning our lives over to God we need to venture toward developing healthy love relationships with people and with God. It’s scary to say “please love me,” but it’s worth the risk. If we don’t fill our hunger for love in a legitimate way, we’ll be driven back toward our addictive/compulsive behaviors. We can be sure that when we “curl up” at the feet of Jesus, he will be glad to find us there. He will provide for us, protect us, and love us.
When we risk reaching out to God, he fills the deep longings of our souls.
Step Three
Unconditional Love
Bible Reading: 1 John 4:7-10
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
Real love brings security into our lives. For many of us, feelings of insecurity contribute to the power of our addictions. Trusting that love can bring lasting security is hard for those of us who’ve been abandoned. Maybe someone we loved betrayed our trust. Perhaps someone turned away from us when we betrayed theirs. It could be that someone we needed died, leaving us permanently.
Jesus promised, “I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you” (John 14:18). We may ask, “How can I trust in God’s love when it feels like all I’ve ever known is love that disappoints?” Here’s the difference: Jesus is the only one who entered our lives through the “one way” door of death. “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins” (1 John 4:9-10). The psalmist wrote, “For he [God] knows we how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. Our days on earth are like grass. . . . But the love of the LORD remains forever with those who fear him” (Psalm 103:14-17).
God’s love is unconditional and always waiting for us. Turning our lives over to God involves opening the door of our hearts to his love. Filling up on God’s love helps us to avoid relapse. It meets us at our deepest need and eases our most powerful insecurities.
As we give our lives over to God’s care, he brings healing and love to our hurts and pain.
Step Three
Rest and Peace
Bible Reading: Philippians 4:4-7
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
The world doesn’t get any better just because we’re in recovery! We still have to pay our bills, deal with people, and face the stressful changes that recovery can bring. There are pressures outside of our control that will tend to wear us down if we aren’t careful to protect ourselves from the world’s onslaught of anxiety.
The apostle Paul gave us a strategy to help guard against the troubles of daily life. He wrote, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
The word translated “guard” is a military term that means to protect with a sentry. The image is one of a guard marching around the border of our hearts and minds to keep out the pressing anxieties of life. This is only promised if we routinely turn every worry and need over to God and develop an attitude of gratitude. When we turn our worries over to the care of God, we will discover the protection of inner peace that exceeds our understanding.
The key to God’s peace is found in continually turning our lives over to him.
Step Three
Declared “Not Guilty”
Bible Reading: Romans 4:1-5
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
When our addictive patterns represent “sinful” behavior, it’s common to feel awkward about getting close to God. We may feel ineligible to receive God’s love; instead, we may expect anger. We might feel guilty and be afraid that God will reject us. Secretly, we may wish that we could have a loving relationship with God and the assurance of a place in heaven, but we feel that we will never be good enough.
The apostle Paul has shown us that we can have the love and acceptance we desire. He wrote, “For the Scriptures tell us, ‘Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous.’ . . . When people work, their wages are not a gift, but something they have earned. But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives sinners. . . . God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was handed over to die because of our sins, and he was raised to life to make us right with God” (Romans 4:3-5, 24-25).
There’s a free gift waiting for us that could help in our recovery. It’s God’s forgiveness, acceptance, and support. It’s a notice that we’re “righteous.” It’s a special home in heaven with our name on it. There’s no need for us to do anything but accept this free gift. This is the best reward of turning our lives over to God!
We begin our recovery burdened with guilt and shame; God encourages our recovery with the burden’s release.
Step Three
True Wisdom
Bible Reading: Matthew 7:24-27
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.
When we lack wisdom, the storms of life can be devastating. After our lives are in pieces, we may realize that we have acted unwisely and want to change, but where do we start?
“How can men be wise?” the psalmist asks. “Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom. Praise him forever!” (Psalm 111:10). God has given clear instructions for life. When we have enough reverence for God that we are willing to accept his instructions as the basis for all of our decisions, we have a good starting point.
Jesus said, “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock” (Matthew 7:24-25). Listening to what the Bible says is the next step toward walking in wisdom. Filling our minds with God’s teaching will lead us to follow them. This will also help us turn away from those things God says are wrong. Job tells us, “This is what he says to all humanity: ‘The fear of the Lord is true wisdom; to forsake evil is real understanding’” (Job 28:28).
Turning our lives over to God is a wise move! Like most aspects of recovery, walking in wisdom is a process that we grow into. These three elements are the groundwork: fear of the Lord, listening to his teaching, and following them.
True wisdom begins as we stand in awe of God’s love and care for us.