Emily felt odd walking beside Jared down the grocery store aisles. He was acting as if this were an everyday occurrence! Her heart raced every time he glanced at her.
In the pasta aisle, he asked, “Angel-hair pasta or linguine?”
How could that question be so sexy on a man’s lips? Their eyes locked for an interminable moment as the twins scampered around them.
Her mouth suddenly dry, she replied, “I like linguine.”
“Do you have Italian in your soul?” he drawled, his Texas upbringing obvious.
Before she could answer, Emily’s cell phone rang. She checked the caller’s name. “It’s Francesca,” she murmured.
Leaning close to her, close enough that she could breathe in the scent of his musky cologne, Jared said, “If you need privacy, we’ll keep shopping and meet you at checkout.”
Emily was so tempted to touch the beard shadow on Jared’s jaw…to straighten the collar of his shirt. But that freedom wasn’t hers. Grateful that he understood her need for privacy, she stood still as he moved down the aisle and she answered her call.
“Francesca? Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. Tessa and I wondered whether anything was wrong with you. I’ve hardly seen you for two days. We were beginning to worry.”
“I left you a note on the refrigerator that I’d be taking care of Dr. Madison’s twins,” she protested, feeling defensive.
“I know. But it’s not like you to be out of touch. Are you having fun?” her friend asked, less concern in her voice now.
“Actually, I am. They’re two adorable little girls. He’s done a good job raising them. He and his wife were divorced before she died, but he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it.”
“So what are you doing now?”
“We’re shopping at the grocery store. He’s going to cook for me and the girls tonight.”
“Cook for you?” Francesca hesitated a few moments, then asked, “Is something happening between you and Jared?”
“I don’t know,” Emily responded honestly. “But for now, we’re just being practical. He’s going to cook and I’ll probably end up with the cleanup.”
“You’re staying the evening?”
“Do you miss me so much?”
Francesca was quiet and Emily knew something was on her mind.
“What?” Emily asked.
“It’s about Jared….”
Emily knew Francesca was hesitating because she didn’t like gossip any more than Tessa or Emily.
Emily waited.
Finally Francesca said, “I’ve heard he has no time for anything serious…that his divorce really affected him and that the last thing he wants is to get involved with anyone long term.”
“He has his daughters to think about,” Emily replied quietly.
“Yes, he does,” Francesca agreed. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I haven’t taken many risks in my life,” Emily admitted.
“And you want to now?”
“It’s too soon to tell.”
“You know you can call on me or Tessa if you need us.”
Emily did know that.
She checked on Jared’s progress. He’d just reached the checkout line. “I’d better go.”
“Have fun. But stay safe.”
Emily’s throat closed a little at her friend’s concern. “I’ll try.”
A few seconds later, Emily hunkered down beside Amy, who was reaching for candy bars. “Do you really think your dad would want you to have three?”
Jared heard Emily’s question and raised his brows at his daughter. He lifted his index finger. “One candy bar. You and Courtney can share it. Okay?”
Amy flashed him one of her best grins.
As he helped the clerk put the groceries into a bag, he asked Emily, “Did Francesca think you were abducted by aliens?”
“Not abducted. She was afraid I went willingly.”
He laughed out loud. “Thank you, Emily. I don’t know when the last time was I really laughed.”
“You laugh with the girls.”
“That’s different.” His shoulder bumped hers as they transferred bags to the cart. “I’m glad I’m getting to know you better.”
“I’m glad I’m getting to know you…and Courtney and Amy,” she added hastily.
But the intense look in his eyes and the tightening of his jaw told her there was something going on here between the two of them that had nothing to do with his daughters.
On the way out to the car, Jared carried the bags. Emily held Amy and Courtney’s hands as they crossed the parking lot. She held on firmly.
Suddenly, right in front of them, a car’s backup lights flashed, signaling the driver was backing up.
Emily swung the girls to the side out of danger.
Jared hurried to her. “I didn’t see his backup lights at first. Sometimes I’m in too much of a hurry. Thanks.”
The gratitude in Jared’s eyes drew her closer to him, to the pull that was so strong between them.
Emily was struck by the stark difference between Jared Madison and her ex-husband, Richard. Jared thought about the people around him before he thought about himself. He didn’t hesitate to say “thank you.” She could probably count on one hand the times Richard had said “thank you” during their marriage, and she wasn’t exaggerating. Richard had expected things of her. He’d expected her to act in a certain way, have sex when he wanted it and play the hostess when his work demanded it. Gratitude and appreciation never entered into it.
“What?” Jared asked in a low voice as if they were the only two people in the parking lot.
“Nothing,” she murmured, knowing this wasn’t the right time to reveal details of her marriage.
“I don’t believe that was a nothing that crossed your mind, but I’ll let it go for now.” Moving toward his sedan, he pressed the remote to open the doors.
Why did Jared Madison move her so? How would he react if she revealed everything about her past?
After today, they’d probably both go their separate ways. His cousin would be taking care of the girls until he could find a nanny or until his mother was on her feet again. Emily would be put back into her colleague slot. She realized that definitely wasn’t where she wanted to be.
An hour later, Jared asked, “What do you think?” as he offered her a taste of the sauce on a wooden spoon. He had changed into a Dallas Cowboys T-shirt and boot-cut jeans.
And she was having trouble keeping her mind on what he was cooking, rather than him.
He held the spoon while she took a taste, all the while her gaze on his. The heat she felt came from the two of them, not the electric burner.
“It’s delicious,” she managed to say, then added lightly, “You might have to give me cooking lessons.”
He gave her a wry smile. “My repertoire is limited.”
“Did your mom teach you?”
His shoulders stiffened. “No. When I was in med school, I either had to learn to cook or starve.”
“Does your mom cook along with taking care of the girls?” Emily was trying to get a sense of his life.
“Most of the time. I give her a break on weekends if I can.” He stirred the sauce thoughtfully, and after a glance at her, he went on. “I told you my marriage broke up because of the long hours and my profession. I was just wondering. What broke up yours?”
Terror struck Emily because the obvious reason her marriage ended had been the lawsuit brought against her. Yet as she took a calming breath before replying, she realized the root of her problem with Richard had been something else.
Jared’s voice turned gentle, his eyes serious. “You turned so pale. Was your husband abusive?”
She didn’t want to give Jared the wrong impression. “No, he wasn’t abusive. But he was…I think he felt entitled. When we got married, he felt entitled to certain privileges. He felt entitled to being superior over me. At first we both had our jobs and I played the trophy wife whenever it suited him. But then the—” She stopped abruptly. She’d been about to say that the lawsuit had changed everything.
“Go on,” Jared prompted.
She shook her head. “I’m making it sound as if it were all his fault. It wasn’t. I think the trouble we went through made us realize we wanted different things in life. My dad died when I was in high school and I missed him. I think I married Richard hoping to replace that hole in my life.”
“Was your husband older?”
“Just five years. But enough that when I met him, I felt like the naive one, the one who could learn from him about a world I’d never seen, about a world I didn’t know—corporate America and all that.”
Jared stirred the sauce again, then gazed at her through the wisps of steam. “I can’t imagine you as a trophy wife.”
She laughed. “Now it’s hard for me to imagine, too.”
Still, Jared wouldn’t let her escape from serious to light in the space of a moment. “This man you married must have been blind not to have seen the independent woman underneath.”
“You’re kind.”
“I’m honest.”
Yes, he was, and she felt as if she were keeping something important from him. Yet if she told him, wouldn’t everything change? She’d had enough changes lately and wasn’t going to run breakneck speed into this one. Francesca had warned her that she needed to be careful.
The dinner was delicious and the girls seemed to enjoy it, too, especially winding the pasta onto their forks. Emily showed them how to catch it with their spoons and they giggled throughout the whole process. After they finished eating, it was time for them to get ready for bed. Emily knew, as with most children, that could take a while.
She told Jared, “You cooked. I’ll clean up. That’s only fair.”
Jared’s smile showed his appreciation as he took the girls into their room.
Emily was drying the huge spaghetti pot when the twins came running out to the kitchen.
“Daddy said we could say good-night and we can give you a hug, too,” Amy added.
Settling the pot on the counter, Emily hugged each of them, warmth filling her heart. Yet she felt an aching, too. She longed to have children of her own…to be a mom.
After she kissed them both good-night on top of their heads, they ran back to their dad.
When Jared returned to the kitchen, he asked, “How about a pot of coffee? I have about a half hour before I have to leave, unless you want me to get going so you can leave sooner.”
She enjoyed his company so very much. “No. Coffee would be great.”
“My mother’s into specialty flavors. Not my thing, but it’s all we have right now. Chocolate caramel or cinnamon mocha?”
“Chocolate caramel.”
“That’s her favorite.”
“Are you worried about her?”
“Sure. But I’m optimistic, too. She’s strong and healthy. She just landed badly.”
“I’ll bet she’s scared.”
“Of the surgery, you mean? Mom’s not scared about much. She’s a tough lady. How about yours? You said your dad died when you were in high school. What about your mom?”
“I lost her before I got married—an aneurysm.”
“I’m sorry.”
She still missed her mother a lot. The memories would come in waves, making her sad but giving her fond remembrances, too. “I truly felt like an orphan after she died. Sometimes I think we need our parents as much when we’re adults as when we were kids.”
An undecipherable look passed over Jared’s face. She sensed a reserve in him about his mother, maybe even the possibility that they didn’t get along. What could be the reason? She took care of his children, so he must trust her. Did he not want to depend on her?
Apparently the subject had become too personal, because he turned away from it and away from her, snagging two mugs from a mug tree. Soon they’d carried their mugs into the great room and settled on the sofa, a few inches apart.
“So, tell me about growing up in Lubbock,” she said to make conversation.
His mouth tightened into a thin line. He set his mug on the table in front of them. “Growing up was growing up.”
“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “No. Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. Probably growing up in Lubbock wasn’t much different from growing up in Corpus Christi. Without the beach, of course.”
“Brothers or sisters?”
Again he frowned, and she had the feeling she’d better stop asking questions or he’d clam up and not tell her anything.
But he answered her. “No brothers or sisters. But I always had good friends until I returned here to practice and got too busy to make them again.” He laid his arm along the back of the sofa, and his fingers almost touched her hair. Not almost. He was touching her hair. “I like when you wear your hair loose rather than in a ponytail or a bun.”
“Loose just doesn’t seem professional for work.”
His fingers were in the curls now, sliding through them, testing their texture. Then as if he realized what he was doing, he stopped. “I’d forgotten how nice an evening could be, doing something other than consulting on a case. You’re easy to be with, Emily.”
She didn’t know quite what to say with him sitting there so close, the scent of male cologne tempting her closer. His muscled upper arms were evident under his T-shirt. His long legs were angled slightly toward her, his booted feet reminding her he was a Texan. Easy wasn’t the word that came to her mind. They had to work together. If they took this any further—
A child’s scream rent the air.
Jared was up and off the sofa so fast he disappeared into the twins’ room before Emily was even in the hallway.
She hurried after him. Amy had awakened and was wide-eyed. Jared was at Courtney’s bedside, not attempting to wake her.
Emily sank down beside Amy on her bed.
Courtney was sweating and Emily could tell she was breathing fast. Her eyes were wide open, but she appeared not to see her dad. Jared had sat down on the bed next to her, untangled the sheet from her arms and was stroking her hair. As Courtney cried, the sound broke Emily’s heart.
Emily wasn’t sure how long she sat there watching, wishing the episode to end for Courtney’s sake, as well as Jared’s. Amy had curled up beside Emily, and she found herself murmuring to her, “She’ll be okay.”
Amy nodded, maybe knowing that more surely than Emily.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, which might have only been fifteen minutes, Courtney turned into Jared’s shoulder and her crying ceased. He kept stroking her hair comfortingly. While he still murmured consoling phrases, he tucked her in. When Courtney was sleeping peacefully once more, he kissed his daughter’s forehead.
Emily stood, made sure Amy felt cared for and tucked in, too, and met him out in the hall. “That is so scary. Not just for her, but for Amy…and you.”
“Usually Courtney doesn’t remember anything about it. I consulted with a sleep psychologist. She said not to wake her, just comfort her and help her return to sleep when she seems ready. This happens more when she’s overtired before she goes to bed.”
“Was it my fault?” She’d played with the girls in many different activities.
“No, it just happens, usually in the first few hours after she goes to sleep.”
“How long will this last?”
“I was told that most children outgrow them as they get older.”
“Seeing one in progress is much different than reading about it on the Internet.”
“I know, and I was worried about Amy seeing them. But when I tried to separate them, Amy would sneak back into the room and sleep on the floor next to Courtney’s bed. She’s protective of her sister.”
They began walking toward the great room. There Jared studied Emily. “I’m surprised you didn’t leave the room.”
“How could I? Amy needed to feel she was safe, too, and to know Courtney would be all right.”
“Sometimes I don’t feel as if I’m giving either of them enough.”
“You’re wrong about that. From what I’ve seen, you’re a great dad.”
For a few moments, he seemed to search for the truth in her eyes. He must have seen what she was really feeling.
Lifting her chin, he kissed her.
At first it seemed like a light kiss, maybe a thank-you kiss, maybe a no-one-has-said-that-in-a-while kiss. But as soon as their lips met, the sensual pleasure of kissing him again kicked up Emily’s pulse. The kiss must have done the same to him. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her tight against him. His T-shirt and her blouse were thin barriers to all the heat they were generating. So much heat, so much desire, so much pent-up longing.
When he broke the kiss, he shook his head. “I never intended for that to happen again, but the chemistry between us seems more powerful than good intentions. I’ll understand if you want to work under another doctor in the practice rather than me.”
“I don’t want to work for anyone else, Jared.”
He looked relieved for a moment. Then the creases along his eyes deepened. “You have to understand something, Emily. The last thing I want to do is get involved with anyone.”
Had his marriage been so rocky that he didn’t want to consider marrying again? Had his divorce been so painful? Had he still loved his wife but she hadn’t wanted to be married to a doctor?
Emily had her own doubts about the way she was starting to feel about Jared. Was it too soon after her divorce? Was she seeing qualities in him that weren’t really there? How could she trust her judgment after Richard?
“You have a lot on your plate,” she responded. “Your daughters, your mom, your profession. I’m trying to get my life back in order. I’ve only begun to build it again here. So we’ll deal with this—” she waved her hand “—chemistry. We’re adults. We hardly see each other in the office, except to go over patient charts.”
“So all I have to do is go back to looking at you as a colleague again.” His mouth quirked up at the corners.
“Right, and I’ll just see you as my boss.”
After a long studying appraisal, he broke eye contact and checked his watch. “I’d better get going so you can go home at a decent time.”
Crossing to the counter, he picked up his car keys. “My cell number’s on the refrigerator. Don’t hesitate to use it if something happens. Courtney doesn’t usually wake up more than once in a night.”
“I’ll just handle her like you did if she does.”
He nodded and went to the door. After a last, prolonged look at her, he left.
Emily knew they were both deluding themselves. Chemistry wasn’t easily kept under wraps.
Unless Jared wasn’t feeling the intensity she was. If that was the case, then there was nothing to worry about at all.
Midafternoon the next day, Emily was escorting a patient to the desk to make a follow-up appointment when the door to the reception area opened. Jared’s daughters came running in, followed by a striking blond woman who looked to be in her forties.
“Emily!” they cried when the twins saw her.
She stooped down to greet them. “What are you doing here?”
“See Daddy,” Amy said with certainty.
Chloie extended her hand. “You must be Emily Diaz. I’m Chloie Madison, Jared’s cousin. He asked me to bring the girls in because he might not get home until after they’re in bed tonight.”
Jared came out of his office and saw them standing in the hall. “Way past their bedtime,” he said, and crouched down to tickle them both and give them a hug.
After he straightened, he explained to Emily, “My mother’s having surgery this afternoon and I’m going over to the hospital for the rest of the day.” He took the girls’ hands and led them to his office. “You can tell me all about what you did this morning with Chloie. About fifteen minutes,” he mouthed to Chloie.
She nodded.
Then he disappeared to spend some time with his daughters.
Chloie and Emily moved to an alcove in the hall. “Am I keeping you?” Chloie asked.
“No, I had a cancellation.”
“I hear you witnessed one of Courtney’s night terrors. Scary, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it was. But Jared handled it so calmly.”
“I’ve watched him a couple of times myself, so I think I’d know what to do if she has one when I’m there. It still spooks me a bit, though.”
“I’m concerned about Amy as well as Courtney,” Emily said.
Chloie nodded. “That makes sense. She’s connected to her sister in ways we’ll never imagine. That’s the way twins are.”
“Did you and Jared grow up together?”
“Yes, we did. I was two years younger but we were friends and watched out for each other.”
“Are you friends now?” Emily knew she was prompting a bit, prying too much maybe, but she was curious about Jared’s life and his relatives.
“After Valerie died, he became a totally different person.”
“In what way?”
“He put walls up where there shouldn’t have been walls. He didn’t try to reach former friends who lived here. He said all he cared about was doing a good job and helping his girls grow up strong.”
“It’s not unusual to withdraw when you lose someone you love. Even though they were divorced, he must have still cared about his ex-wife.”
“It was the way he lost her,” Chloie said.
“The way?” Emily questioned.
“I shouldn’t say any more. You’ll have to ask Jared about it if you want to know. Secrets have hurt Jared more than once in his life. That’s why he doesn’t trust easily and why he rarely lets anyone get close.”
Rarely lets anyone get close. Emily wondered about her own secret and what effect that would have on Jared. Should she tell him now about what had happened in Corpus Christi?
She remembered their second kiss and how it had made her feel…how Jared made her feel. Yet he’d clearly told her he didn’t want to get involved.
Did she? Hadn’t Richard shown her men walked away when marriage got hard? Hadn’t he abandoned her when she’d needed him most?
If she was smart, she’d forget about getting involved with Jared at all. Finding another job wouldn’t be all that easy. She liked her life here.
Yet something about Jared tugged at her.
The question was—would she give in to the tugging?
Maybe. But she’d also keep her secret to herself.
For now.