Cait watched the six o’clock news with horrified fascination. Sarah Lin had treated her gently in the interview, reported on the tragic irony of her brother’s death occurring the same day, and delivered the televised version of the attack on Jane and the attempted abduction of Leyla with a grim air of consequence.
What horrified her was the way that watching the report changed her. She recognized the twisted irony of it, but seeing the story told on television made her confront it in a way she had not previously allowed herself to do. She watched herself sitting on the sofa in her living room, pale and ghost-eyed, talking to Sarah, and she felt pity for the poor little girl on the TV screen.
Vanity had nothing to do with it. Cait saw how awful she looked but, more, she studied her own eyes and saw someone who was lost. Perched on the sofa—first on her own and then holding Leyla—she looked sixteen or seventeen years old, if that. Her short hair, petite build, and almost elfin features nearly always made people underestimate her, which had sometimes been a curse and sometimes a gift.
But now she wanted to reach into the TV and slap herself awake. Her father had not raised her to rely on other people to provide answers. She and Sean had both been taught to search for their own solutions to problems. This might be an extreme situation, but the police had been awfully quiet today, and she’d placed very little hope in them to begin with, considering how little information they had been able to gather during their canvass of the neighbors on Badger Road.
She hoped the interview would help, that maybe someone had seen something they had yet to report to the police and would now come forward. But as she watched it, Cait realized it wasn’t enough. Monteforte and Jarman had seemed competent, but they weren’t family. They got to go home at the end of the day and stop thinking about Leyla, and untraceable license plates, and the sudden death of Sean McCandless.
Cait sat on the edge of the sofa, forking macaroni and cheese into her mouth as the commercials blared—why were they always so much louder than the regular programming? In minutes the weather forecast would come on, and then sports, and then what? The long night stretched out ahead of her. Even the idea of going to sleep made her uneasy. Sean had died shortly after she’d last spoken to him. If she slept, how would her life have changed when she opened her eyes again?
In her playpen, Leyla started to cry. It didn’t start the way it usually did, with a fussy whimper. Instead, the baby wailed in what sounded like a strange combination of protest and sorrow. Cait set her plate on the coffee table, her already diminished appetite vanishing completely.
“All right, sweetie. Mommy’s coming.”
Leyla’s face was red but there were no tears in her eyes. It wasn’t that sort of cry. Cait plucked her from the playpen and held the baby against her chest, patting her back and humming a tired melody. In talking to other mothers, she had long since realized that she had gotten lucky with Leyla. Compared to horror stories Cait had heard, Leyla was a pretty easy infant, and she slept better than most. Even so, being the mother of an infant was draining, and most days she suffered from a kind of new mother exhaustion that had quickly replaced what had once been her normal life.
Now she did the slow dance around the living room that always calmed Leyla, and after a few seconds of complaint, the baby snuffled and went silent, trying to grab her face. Cait smiled tiredly.
“You’re going to sleep with me tonight, baby girl,” she said.
Leyla had eaten already. If Cait wasn’t going to finish her own dinner, it was time for her to give the baby a bath, put her in her pajamas, and give her a bottle. They both needed to stick to their routine tonight.
Tomorrow, the routine would be shot to hell.
Cait knew that even if she went down to Washington, D.C., real answers about what happened to Sean would never be forthcoming, and pressing for them might endanger Herc and others. But she had to do something.
The phone startled her. She realized she ought to have been surprised it had taken so long to ring. Someone she knew must have seen her on the news and was calling now to tell her how sorry they were, to lend their support.
Cait wasn’t sure she wanted to talk, no matter how sympathetic the caller might be. If she talked, she might cry again, and she needed to stop that shit. On the other hand, it might be someone calling for an interview, or even the police, phoning to tell her that they’d had a break in the case and knew why someone had tried to take Leyla.
On the fourth ring, she carried Leyla into her bedroom, but she paused in the open door as the answering machine picked up and her own voice filled the room.
“Hi, it’s Cait. You know the drill.” And then the beep.
“Cait, are you there? Oh, my God, pick up,” Miranda Russo said, her voice on the edge of frantic. “Cait?”
She propped Leyla on her hip, picked up the phone, and hit the button to halt the answering machine’s recording. “Hey.”
“You are there. I saw the news. It’s horrible. Are you okay? No, scratch that, of course you’re not okay. Do you want me to come over?” Miranda said, the words coming out in a torrent.
Cait felt the muscles in her shoulders relax, just slightly, as she swayed back and forth to keep Leyla happy. She and Miranda might not have anything in common anymore, but the woman’s frantic babble reminded her so much of the closeness they had once shared that suddenly it did not seem that long ago at all.
“No need,” she said. “I’ve got to give Leyla a bath. I need to keep her on a schedule.”
“Are you sure? I wouldn’t get in the way,” Miranda said. “I just thought maybe you could use some company.”
Cait hesitated, all of her conflicting emotions about friendship clashing in the space of seconds.
“Maybe I could. If it’s no trouble,” she said quietly.
“Are you kidding? How could it be trouble? You need me, I’m there. We may not see each other much these days, but that hasn’t changed. Have you eaten?”
Cait said that she had.
“All right,” Miranda replied. “Give me an hour or so and I’ll be over. Should I bring wine?”
“You’d better. And Miranda?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”