ANNA DIDN’T KNOW what to expect when they got to the hospital, but it wasn’t this. It seemed the entire island was here. Tents had been pitched on the front lawn and there were masses of people on the first floor mopping and cleaning out debris. Even Nico appeared taken aback by the chaos as they walked in with the baby.
Dr. Tucker was waiting for them. She had a pediatric bag valve mask and immediately put it on the baby’s face and squeezed the bag. Anna handed over the baby to a waiting nurse and watched her carry the baby upstairs. At a loss for what to do, Anna stood frozen in the foyer.
She didn’t know how long she just stood there, waiting for her heart to slow down, until a nurse gently shook her arm. “Dr. Atao, the echo confirmed your diagnosis. Come on, we have an OR ready for you.”
What? She stared at the nurse, bewildered.
“The baby, she’s critical. We need you in the surgical suites now.”
No, I can’t. I really can’t. The words were on her lips but her voice box was locked. Then Nico’s arms were around her waist, propelling her forward. “Anna, you’re the only one here with pediatrics training.”
Her legs moved on autopilot. Before she knew it, they were in a prep room and Nico was right beside her, helping her scrub her hands, fingernails and arms. He gowned her, then handed her a mask and cap for her head. “You can do this. You’re the only one here who can.”
How could he believe that? I’ll kill her. Don’t make me do this. She looked through the glass windows into the OR. The baby’s unconscious form seemed so tiny on the large OR gurney.
“I need you with me.”
He nodded, already scrubbing his own hands. She walked into the OR.
“Anna, it’s good to see you again.”
She turned to see Ajay Balachandra. The doctor who had pronounced Lucas dead. He was a short, bald man with dark skin. No one knew how old he really was; people joked that he could be forty or a hundred and forty. He’d been a staple on the island for over ten years, one of the most competent doctors they had. Hailing from India, the man had remained a bachelor, content to spend his days—and often nights—working. “Listen, I know this is difficult for you so I’m here to assist. As you remember, I’m an internist, so surgery is a leap for me. Pediatric surgery…” He shook his head. “No way. But I’m here to assist.”
Why did he get to take the easy road but she had to step up? That’s how it had been five years ago too. All of the resident physicians had shaken their heads at the idea of doing the surgery on Lucas. Even the one general surgeon had refused. Nobody wanted the liability of a pediatric death. So why did she have to be the one to take it on herself? If they could refuse, why couldn’t she?
Then she looked at the little baby on the operating table. Dr. Tucker had already intubated her, and a small tube protruded from her tiny throat. A ventilator pushed the perfect amount of air into her lungs. Anna automatically checked the monitor. Her oxygen saturation was 91 percent. Not bad, but not the greatest. For healthy babies, it was 99 to 100 percent. She was hanging on, but wouldn’t for long. Babies took a long time to decompensate, but when they did, they crashed hard. That’s how Lucas had been.
“I have faith in you, Anna,” Nico said behind her. “Please. This is Troy and Aurelia’s first baby. Her name is Emma. They need you to try.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and she leaned against him. She looked at the clock on the wall. One thousand eight hundred and fifty eight days and three hours since she’d been in an operating room. There was no viewing gallery here. But other than that, it was the same sterile space. The same expectant eyes looking at her to perform a miracle.
“Dr. Atao, I’m here, as well. We can do this.” She glanced at Dr. Tucker. The woman nodded encouragingly. But it was Nico’s hand on the small of her back that propelled Anna to step forward. The hole in Emma’s heart was not as big as Lucas’s had been. It was a small repair, but if she didn’t do it, the baby would die. There was no ambiguity in this situation, Emma was already at death’s door.
Anna asked for a scalpel. Her hands didn’t tremble this time. She made a clean, smooth cut.