ANNA WASN’T SURE how she was still standing. Emma was deteriorating fast. Luke had been gone for ten hours now and there was no word on his whereabouts. Kat hadn’t been able to get ahold of him, and Anna couldn’t reach the company contact she had been working with. It was late evening in Guam, but they were two hours ahead of the Philippines so it was still the workday there.
“How much longer does she have?”
Anna couldn’t bear to look at Aurelia. It wasn’t the young woman’s tears that affected her, but Aurelia’s acceptance of the fate that lay in her daughter’s future. She was at peace with Emma dying, while the little baby was still alive. Anna wanted that for herself.
Keeping her eyes on Emma, Anna replied. “It’s really hard to tell. It could be hours or days, depending on how much fight she has left in her.”
“Can we take her off the ventilator, let her go?”
Anna found it hard to keep from screaming, how could you? When she’d been in the same situation with Lucas, she had been working the phones 24/7, talking to everyone she could think of to try and save him.
The ECMO machine would give Emma a chance. She didn’t want to give up hope yet. Against all odds, she’d found the machine, a way to pay for it and a helicopter to bring it back. She didn’t know Luke Williams, but the sincerity in his eyes made her believe that the man would do everything in his power to return with that machine. He reminded her of Nico in that way.
Oh, Nico. He was still in the ICU. Although he was breathing on his own, he had a fever and his white blood count was high. Dr. Balachandra had given him pain medication to let him sleep and recover. Anna had looked everywhere for Maria but couldn’t find her. When she thought about how that whole scene in Nico’s room would have looked to the other woman, Anna’s stomach twisted in a thousand knots. Anna had been so focused on Nico that she hadn’t paused to consider that she was no longer the woman in Nico’s life. It was Maria’s job to be by his side. Nico was delirious; he probably had no sense of time and place. He’d seen Anna and latched on to her. She needed to find Maria and apologize. Set her straight.
But first, she had to convince Emma’s parents to hold on without showing her hand just yet.
“Let’s leave her on it for a little bit longer.”
“Why? Dr. Atao, Troy and I don’t want her to be in pain anymore. We are ready to let her go.”
How are you ready to do that? I still haven’t let go of my son who died five years ago.
“Just a little bit longer. Please, just trust me.”
She left Aurelia and set a timer on her phone to return in half an hour. They couldn’t spare the nursing staff to have someone monitor the NICU, so she needed to come back and check on Emma. Alarms would go off and draw staff if she crashed again.
Except she didn’t know where to go. She was lost in more ways than one. Kat and Vickie were at Nana’s house as her personal guests. There had been a minor brouhaha about where Kat would stay. The governor had offered his house, which then brought Nana into the fray because she thought it was improper for a single man to be hosting two women. Kat and Vickie wanted to stay at a hotel, but of course no one would hear of that. While some hotels were becoming operational, locals considered it rude to let their guests stay there. So Nana finally won out and was hosting the two women. If Luke got back tonight, he’d be relegated to one of the cots assigned to the relief workers or go on base.
As if some unseen force was pushing her, she went back to Nico’s room. She had passed by to check on him several times since he woke up.
He was awake when she arrived. “Glad to see you up.”
“I don’t know what you or Dr. Balachandra gave me, but I’m ready to get out of here,” he said, sitting up.
“It’s that kind of bravado that put you in this position to begin with.”
“There’s work to be done. This is my hospital.”
“Nico!”
They glared at each other. He did look strong and healthy, like the old Nico. She knew it was only a matter of time before he’d pull out his IVs and get back into the thick of things. His eyes softened.
“I meant what I said earlier.”
She sat on the edge of his bed and took his hand. He squeezed hers tightly, holding on to it.
“I know. I’ve never stopped loving you, Nico.”
“Go on, say the ‘but’…”
“But I can’t picture a life on this island. And you can’t leave.”
“I…”
Before he could finish his sentence, she continued. “Nana told me about your father. About how he swindled everyone of their savings. I wish you’d told me.”
“It wasn’t my story to tell.”
“Does Maria know?”
He nodded. “Nana told her, but she’d already heard the whole thing. She grew up here.” It was a nice way for him to cover up the fact that Nana had never trusted Anna enough to tell her when they were together.
“I understand why you need to stay.”
“I was ready to give up everything for you.”
He’d said “was.” He was ready to give up everything for her five years ago, when she wasn’t ready to forgive him. Now it was her turn to do something for him. She leaned over and kissed his forehead.
“It’s time for both of us to move on. When you’re better, we’ll go to the house in Tumon, decide what to do with it, then sign those papers. I think Maria has a working internet connection and printer now.”
“When do you leave?”
It took her a second to think about it. She’d stopped keeping track. “Roughly seven or eight days.”
“Then I guess we don’t have much time.”
Because she would never come back to Guam. A knock on the door finally made her look away from him. Nana walked in with a bag that smelled wonderful and Anna’s stomach rumbled embarrassingly. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten.
Nana kissed Nico on the cheek, then gave Anna a hug. She stood to leave but Nana waved her down. “You sit and eat too. I have enough for the both of you. Look at how thin you’ve become. Keep going like this and you will pass out.”
Anna hadn’t eaten Nana’s cooking in five years; she wasn’t going to pass it up. Nana laid out bowls and poured hot soup from a thermos. Nico dug in and exchanged looks with Anna as Nana fussed about refilling their bowls and plating noodles when they were done with the soup. Nana was in her element. A shadow flitted across Nico’s face as his mother groaned while bending to pick up a ladle that fell on the floor. Anna knew what he was thinking. It wouldn’t be long before Nana couldn’t do what she loved, feeding her family.
“Tomorrow morning, I’m having breakfast for Katerina.” Pointing at Anna, she wagged her finger. “I want you to come so I can feed you proper food.”
“Nana, it’s Congresswoman Driscoll-Santiago,” Nico said.
“That’s what you call her. She’s Katerina to me.” Nico rolled his eyes but Anna gave him a brief nod and mouthed, “It’s okay.” She knew that Kat had probably insisted on Nana calling her by her given name.
“And you, Nico, you think about leaving this bed before Anna says it’s okay and I’m going to bring my ruler and paddle your behind like I did when you were little.” Nico looked pained and Anna laughed as Nana pretended to slap him. He held out his arms and mother and son hugged, laughingly wiping tears from their eyes.
Anna caught movement out of the corner of her eye and jumped up. She raced out of the room. “Maria, where are you going?”
Maria tried to hide it but there was an unmistakable shine in her eyes. “You guys look busy. I’ll come back.”
Anna grabbed her arm. “Your place is in there.”
This time Maria couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Anna touched her shoulder. “He’s yours, Maria. This is your home—I’m just a visitor. I’ll leave in seven days, but you’ll be here to put all the pieces back together.”
“He still loves you.” The pain in Maria’s eyes was so raw, Anna felt a knife slice her heart.
“I’m his past, you’re his future. He loves you too. Everything you’ve seen between us, it’s closure, nothing more.”
“I’ve loved him all my life, Anna. If you’re going to take him back, tell me now while my heart is still intact, while I still have some dignity.”
Take him back? Was that even an option?
She looked at Nico through the glass door. He was watching them. Their eyes locked and he made a fist, kissed it and put it on his heart. She didn’t know if the gesture was for her or Maria.
There was no choice. She knew what she had to do.