Chapter 31

There was only one way to find out what Jonah was really thinking. I had an obvious clue that I was ignoring.

His secret notebook.

It had been sitting in my room untouched, wrapped in nasty wads of chewing gum and hidden beneath a stack of books. He hadn’t told me that I could read it. I was only supposed to guard it. But I’d been faithful and true to Jonah. I’d obeyed his every instruction to the letter—and he’d still turned on me. I couldn’t see any reason not to open his journal now.

After Kristin left, I settled down on my bed and took it off my desk. The bits of gum had hardened into grime-coated strips that cracked and fell apart as I pulled back the wrinkled cover. I hesitated for a moment, took a couple of deep breaths, and turned the first page.

The American Revolution, I read. During the last half of the eighteenth century, thirteen colonies in North America…

What the hell was this?

I was holding his notes from history class! That was his big secret? I couldn’t believe it. My heart was actually drumming in my ears, my hands were cold and clammy, and all he’d given me was some closely written chapter summaries of our history textbook. I flipped forward impatiently, skimming the pages with growing irritation. Had he been bluffing? Or did he really believe that there was something magical in here?

I was a third of the way through already, and there was nothing here—nothing at all.

And then I saw them.

Lists.

Dozens of lists.

Somewhere in the middle of the history lesson, the writing broke off completely and became something else. A complete record of everyone in our class. Their phone numbers, addresses, random facts I’d never known, all scribbled down in jagged columns. Some of the names were circled with black marker, some were underlined or highlighted, and some were crossed out with vicious pen strokes. Then came a record of teachers, the principal, and secretarial staff, even Steve, the janitor.

Ms. Lowry (I read): Metoprolol 25 mg take twice daily. Verapamil…

What did this mean? Had Jonah found out our teacher’s medications?

A blank page followed the final list. And then a giant X. Ten pages of Xs and nothing else.

And then a transition, as his life at Shady Grove began. He’d drawn complex maps of the hospital grounds and marked them up with swirling lines and arrows. He’d recorded every nurse’s name along with explanations for how each had been turned by the U.S. government. He’d put together a summary of cafeteria food with the word “contaminated” next to some of the entries. He’d made a list of Shawn’s mother’s boyfriends and then scratched them all out.

And then more Xs.

I remembered what Ms. Lowry had said about one of Jonah’s class assignments. I’m worried because Jonah stopped making sense.

I kept flipping the pages. Where was I in all of this?

Finally there was a chart with my name in it, but otherwise you could never guess that the author of this journal even had a girlfriend.

Spy	Ally
Dr. Aaron Golden	April
Mrs. Rachel Golden	Shawn
Dr. Hermann	Katie (but they never let me see her)
Carla, the security guard	Nurse Tina (probably will be a spy by next week—will watch for signs)
All the nurses (especially Nurse Becky) except maybe Nurse Tina	Tracie (same as Tina—more likely to go spy because in medical profession longer)
All medical students except Tracie

Five more sheets of Xs then.

And on the last page of his notebook, written over and over, in cramped and spastic strokes were the words:

April Wesley will not betray you.