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“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43: 18-19

Lucy dropped the phone and buried her face in her hands, the tears falling freely. Her stomach tightened into a knot. How could God let this happen? Her shoulders shook as sobs wracked her body. After several moments her breathing slowed and she gained control. Roscoe, her faithful canine companion, stared at her with mournful eyes. Lucy wiped her tears and pulled out the old family photo albums. She flipped through page after page of Ethan and the girls happily opening gifts, building snowmen, lighting Advent candles, decorating the tree, the house… Each photo captured a special memory in her heart. She should be grateful for the memories God had given her, but she still wanted more. She put away the albums and threw the wadded-up tissues in the trash.

Movement outside the window caught her eye. Lucy’s next-door neighbor, Hadessa, was approaching with her little Scottish terrier. Lucy waved, and Hadessa turned and came up the front walk. Lucy hurried to the front door, throwing it open to greet her friend. A rush of frigid air followed Hadessa into the living room before Lucy shut the door. The pine-scented candle on the coffee table flickered, but managed to stay alight.

Roscoe sniffed at Gidget, and the two dogs wagged their tails and pranced around one another, but Roscoe didn’t stray far from Lucy’s side.

“My goodness, your tree is lovely,” Hadessa said. “I can’t believe you set everything up already.”

“It’s December first. Ethan always put the tree and the decorations up on December first.”

Hadessa pursed her lips together. “Have you changed anything in the house since Ethan died?”

“I got a new water heater last winter,” Lucy said.

Hadessa put a hand on her hip. “You know what I mean.”

“Why should I change anything? I like things the way they are. I don’t have to make changes just because Ethan isn’t here. That’s change enough.” Lucy frowned. “I can’t believe this is my third Christmas without him.”

Hadessa opened her mouth to say something else, but seemed to think better of it. “The house looks wonderful.”

Lucy attempted a smile. “Thanks. Ethan would’ve been proud. I can’t string lights on the roof like he did, but I set up the rest of the house like a Christmas wonderland, just the way he always did it.”

“How did you manage setting the tree up by yourself?”

“I paid the Johnson boys a few dollars and a few cookies to drag it up from the basement for me.”

“It is nice having young people in the neighborhood. They’ve been mowing my lawn for the past few years. I’ll be sad when they leave for college.” Hadessa’s sharp eyes focused on Lucy’s face. “Speaking of sad, what’s wrong? You don’t seem like a woman full of the Christmas spirit.”

“Let’s have some tea.” Lucy ushered Hadessa into the kitchen and poured a cup for her. She didn’t want to think about it, but talking with Hadessa always lifted her spirits. She handed the cup to her dear friend, refreshed her own cup, and they settled at the kitchen table. “It’s been a rough afternoon. First Ava Kathryn called. The doctors don’t want her to fly this close to the baby’s birth date. They’re not coming for Christmas.”

Hadessa patted her hand. “I’m sorry, dear. That happens when they grow up, I’m afraid. They stop coming home. I’ll be spending the day in New Jersey with my daughter and her family.”

“At least your daughter only moved two hours away. I don’t understand it. I raised my daughters here in Pennsylvania their whole lives. Now Ava’s in Tucson and Audrey’s in upstate New York. Christmas was the one time I had everyone together. Ethan’s gone, and now my baby daughter won’t be here either.”

Hadessa’s lip curved upwards. “Your baby daughter is what? Twenty-eight now?”

Lucy gave Hadessa a half-smile. “She’ll always be my baby. Even though she’ll soon have a baby of her own. That’s why it’s so hard she won’t be here.”

“I’m sure you and Audrey’s family will enjoy yourselves. Her kids are bound to keep you on your toes.”

Lucy’s lower lip quivered. “But that’s just it. Right after Ava Kathryn called, I got a call from Audrey Christine. Her father-in-law passed away. He had a major stroke. It was all so sudden.”

Hadessa’s brow wrinkled. “How sad to lose him this close to Christmas.”

Lucy wiped a tear from her cheek. “I know, but it doesn’t really matter what time of year it is. When Ethan died, I felt as if the rug got pulled out from underneath me. The plans of a long, leisurely retirement and growing old together were ripped away. The loss was almost a physical ache. It’s not quite as raw now, but I still miss Ethan.”

Hadessa set down her mug. “Of course, you do.”

Lucy inhaled a deep breath. “Anyway, Audrey Christine has to spend Christmas with her mother-in-law, so she won’t be coming either. I’ll be all alone for Christmas.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. No wonder you look such a fright.”

“That’s not helping.”

“You’re right. Why don’t you pour yourself a glass of wine and draw a nice hot bath? Relax and wallow in self-pity. Then get over it and find something else to do for Christmas.”

“What else is there to do other than spend time with family?”

Hadessa’s lips curved into a smile. “I’m sure you’ll find something.” She eased herself to her feet. “I want to get Gidget out for her walk before it gets dark. It happens so early these days.” Hadessa slipped on her coat, clipped Gidget’s leash back on her collar, and headed out.

Lucy reheated her mug of tea and settled on the sofa opposite the Christmas tree and the big picture window. Flurries drifted down from the sky, completing the view. Even without Ethan, this was safe and comfortable, the way the Christmas season should be.

Her mind traveled back to her conversation with Ava Kathryn.

“How’s my newest grandbaby doing? Put on the video so I can see your belly.”

Ava laughed and switched to video. Holding the phone away from her, she showed off her swollen middle. “I’m fine, Mom. But…”

Lucy straightened. “What? What’s wrong? Is the baby OK?”

“The baby is fine, but I’ve been having Braxton-Hicks contractions. The doctor doesn’t think I’ll make it to full-term.”

“But you’re only seven months pregnant,” Lucy said, rising to her feet, worry mounting.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, but the baby is measuring big. I guess I miscalculated by a few weeks. My cycle was never particularly consistent. He thinks I’m more like 8 months along.”

“But you and the baby are OK?”

“We’re fine. Babies are born early all the time. But it means we’re not flying out for Christmas.”

Lucy sank back onto the sofa. All she could manage was a quiet “Oh.”

“I know you’re disappointed, but the doctor doesn’t want me to fly. The baby could come any time.”

Lucy swallowed hard. “It’s OK, dear. I understand.”

“You could come out here.”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t. I just finished decorating the house, and I’ve never missed the Christmas Eve program here. I know you love Tucson, but I can’t imagine a warm Christmas. It isn’t right. Besides, Audrey Christine and her family are coming. It’s all planned. We’ll go caroling with the neighbors, bake cookies, go to church, and I’ll make a big ham dinner, like always.” Except now without her husband or her youngest daughter. Lucy squeezed her eyes shut. She would not cry.

“Are you sure, Mom? Audrey’s family could come too.”

“You can’t fit all of us in your little house. And Roscoe couldn’t handle flying. I can’t leave him. He’d be a nervous wreck.” Lucy gazed at her precious beagle, never far from her side.

Ava’s sigh came through loud and clear. “Yeah, he’s a creature of habit, like you. I’ll call you later in the week. Love you.”

“You too, honey.” Lucy laid down the phone as Ava disconnected.

What was wrong with being a creature of habit? All their Christmas traditions were special. It was bad enough not having Ethan around any longer. Now neither of her girls would be here either. In spite of her mood, her stomach growled. Lucy filled Roscoe’s bowl with kibble and heated a bowl of her homemade chicken soup in the microwave. Carrying it to the table, she picked up a paperback from the kitchen counter. Since Ethan’s passing, she’d taken to reading while eating. It took away the sting from eating alone.

When she finished her meal, her phone rang yet again. Now what? There wasn’t anyone left to tell her they weren’t coming home for Christmas. The phone number was one she didn’t recognize, but something prodded her to answer.

“Hello, is this Lucinda Esther?”

The deep, masculine voice sent shivers down her spine. But who could it be? No one called her Lucinda Esther but her sister.

“It is…”

“I’m sorry to bother you, Lucinda. My name is Noah Charles. I live next door to your sister, Isabel. I’m afraid she’s in a bit of a pickle. She had a fall and broke her hip.”

“Oh, my.” Lucy’s hand flew to her mouth.. “When did this happen? How is she?”

“It happened about an hour ago. She’s in the hospital now. I saw the ambulance and came over to find out what happened. Before they carted her off, she pointed me toward her address book and told me to call you.”

“Thank you for doing so. I’ll keep her in my prayers. Did she take her phone to the hospital? Will I be able to speak with her once she’s out of surgery?”

“She did, but…”

Not another but. This day couldn’t get any worse. “But what?”

“She was hoping you could come and help her out.”

“I live in Pennsylvania.”

“Yes, she mentioned that.”

“I can’t just hop on a plane to Arizona.”

“Izzy said you were her only relative. I’ll do what I can, but I’m not sure either of us would be comfortable with me helping her with her more, ah, delicate needs. If it helps, she’ll be in the hospital a week or two. But then she’ll need care at home for at least a few weeks. She mentioned you’re a nurse…”

Lucy stifled a groan. “I’m retired.”

“I’m sure you remember your training. Izzy is blessed to have you.”

The timeline clicked in Lucy’s head. “But I’d be there over Christmas.”

“I suppose you would. Well, wouldn’t it be nice to spend Christmas with your sister? What a perfect excuse to get away from the cold.”

This man was infuriating. “Christmas is supposed to be cold. Haven’t you heard of a white Christmas or chestnuts roasting by an open fire?”

“You wouldn’t use roasting chestnuts as an excuse not to help your sister, would you?”

And there it was. How could Lucy say no? Isabel was alone. She’d lost her husband about a decade ago, and they had no children. She and Isabel had never been close, but family was family. And now she had no one else to spend Christmas with, either. Hoping her voice didn’t sound as resigned as she felt, she conceded. “I’ll be there. You’re sure she’ll be in the hospital for a while? I’ll be driving out.”

“Driving?” Surprise colored Noah’s voice. “You’re over 2,000 miles away. It will take days.”

“Yes, but I need to bring Roscoe with me, and he’s far too anxious to fly.”

“Well, that makes me feel better. I’m glad you won’t be traveling alone. I look forward to meeting you and your husband when you arrive. Izzy will call you as soon as she’s able. Drive safely.” He disconnected the call.

Lucy blinked. Her husband? Oh, Noah must think Roscoe was her husband’s name. Still, what did it matter? Just because his smooth-as-silk voice gave her chills didn’t mean she was attracted to him. He was probably young enough to be her son. Still, there was something calming about his voice, even with the awful day she was having.

She laid her phone on the table and cradled her head in her hands. In the past few hours she found out she wouldn’t see either of her daughters for Christmas, and now she wouldn’t even be home to enjoy it. There would be no big family dinner around the huge dining room table, no Christmas cantata or Christmas Eve service at her church, no participating in the cookie exchange. She’d be stuck nursing her stubborn older sister back to health. She blinked back tears, placed her dishes in the dishwasher, and moved into the living room, lifting Ethan’s picture off the mantel.

“Oh, Ethan, how did I get here? I thought spending Christmas without you was bad enough, but now this? I’m losing everything I love about Christmas.”