7

Noah awoke at dawn and headed out for a bike ride. The freedom of his new life exhilarated him. He wouldn’t go out with the truck until after the kids were out of school, so he had the day to himself. Sure, he’d take care of his orders for the next couple of weeks and he had laundry to do, but no hours of rehearsals or traveling ahead of him. Just plenty of time to reflect on last night with Lucy. The thought of her brought a smile to his face. She was such a caring woman. She’d spent her whole life taking care of other people. He wanted to take care of her for a change. But would she let him? He biked for an hour, his mind on her the whole time.

After cleaning up and eating breakfast, he couldn’t wait any longer. There were so many things he wanted to show Lucy. The botanical gardens in the daytime, for one. Hiking on one of the many beautiful trails, a day trip to Sedona, to the Grand Canyon… Whoa. He was getting ahead of himself. He’d start with something simple. She might be up for a hike today. He dialed her number, but it went straight to voicemail.

“Hi Lucy. I was wondering if you’d like to go on a hike with me today. Give me a call when you get this.”

He tamped down his disappointment. He’d talk with her soon enough.

~*~

Lucy gave the doctor her full attention.

“Ms. Crompton, I’m pleased to say, is fine. We ran a battery of tests.”

“It’s not a pulmonary embolism?”

“No. She’s followed the post-surgery protocols. She has no evidence of a clot. She’s recovering well.”

“But her symptoms…”

“Were brought on by a nightmare followed by a panic attack. It seems she was worried about the potential complications. Her worry brought on a panic attack.”

Tears of relief spilled down Lucy’s cheeks. “When can I see her?”

“She’ll be out in a minute. She’s using the restroom and then you can take her home.”

A moment later, an aide wheeled Isabel into the waiting room. Lucy flew across the room and wrapped her arms around her, then pulled back, and studied her face. Her color was good and her eyes were full of life. “How do you feel?”

“A little foolish, to tell you the truth.”

“Nonsense. I’m a nurse, and I had you rush to the hospital, so if you’re foolish, I’m doubly foolish.”

Isabel laughed, then sobered. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

The aide turned toward Lucy. “I’ll take her to the entrance if you want to pull your car around front.”

Lucy nodded and kissed Isabel’s soft cheek. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

Back at home, Lucy helped Isabel maneuver back into the house with her walker. Roscoe and Flick ran excited circles around them. They settled in at the kitchen table and Lucy brewed a pot of tea. Lucy set a mug in front of Isabel and sat across from her. “I’m so relieved it wasn’t serious.”

“It felt real.”

“It was real. Panic attacks present similar symptoms to a blot clot in your lungs.”

“I thought that’s what was happening. Either that or a heart attack, but they did all kinds of tests and found out I’m in good shape.”

“What was your nightmare about?”

Isabel lowered her eyes. “It was nothing.”

“Clearly not, if it gave you a panic attack. You can tell me.”

Isabel pressed her lips together and wrapped her hands around her mug, staring into it as if it had all the answers. Her voice was quiet, and Lucy strained to hear. “In my dream, I got out of bed but couldn’t walk. I got in a wheelchair and wheeled myself around the house, but there was no one here. I rolled down the street and knocked on every door, but no one answered. I went out to the highway, but there were no cars. I couldn’t find another living soul. Then I tried to get back home, but a rock got caught in the wheel and I fell out of the chair. I lay on the side of the road in pain, but no one came to get me.” Isabel squeezed her eyes shut. “Then I died, and floated up to heaven, but got turned away at the gates. I started descending downwards, and then woke up, my heart racing. You came in moments later.”

Lucy stared at Isabel. It didn’t take a psychiatrist or a biblical wise man to interpret that dream. “You’re afraid to be alone. I’m sorry I left you last night.”

“I’ve lived alone for ten years. And now Flick keeps me company. Why would I be afraid to be alone?”

“Because you’ve lost some independence.” Lucy reached out and took Isabel’s hand. “When you fell, how long were you on the ground before the ambulance came?”

“Not too long, because I had my phone in my pocket and called 911.”

“It’s smart to keep your phone with you. But now your mobility is limited, and it’s understandably scary. I won’t go out with Noah again. I’ll stay with you until you’re more confident.”

Isabel’s eyes widened. “I forgot. Tell me about your date. I want details.”

“Nice try. We need to talk about the other part of your dream.”

“Details first, then we can discuss the God stuff.”

Lucy laughed. “Still bossy, I see.”

Isabel shrugged. “Why change now? Now spill it.”

Lucy told Isabel about the delicious Mexican food and the evening at the botanical gardens. “It was a magical evening. I want to go back to the gardens again in the daytime.”

“I’d like that as well, but it’s a lot of walking. I guess I won’t be able to go for a while.”

“Nonsense. We’ll get you a wheelchair. Let me check.” Lucy checked her phone to check the website, but it was dead. “I’ll be right back.” She plugged her phone in and remembered her promise to update Hadessa. “Can I use your computer?”

“Of course.”

Isabel made her way back to the living room and settled in her seat. Lucy booted up the computer, sent off an email to Hadessa telling her Isabel was fine, then checked the website for the botanical gardens. “They have wheelchairs available there. It’s settled. We’ll go there together. Do you want to go today? Oh, wait, what’s this?” Lucy scrolled through the website. “Dog days. If we go tomorrow morning, we can bring Roscoe with us. He’d enjoy it. He’s doing much better with Flick around, but I hate to leave him alone too much.”

“Flick is fine by herself,” Isabel said. “Although…” She pointed to the tree. Lucy burst out laughing. Once again, the ornaments on the bottom foot of the tree were missing.

“I guess she doesn’t like the decorations.”

“Either that or she likes them too much. She wants to keep them for herself.”

“Well, except for the ornaments, she should be fine. Let’s plan to take Roscoe tomorrow.” Lucy spun in the computer chair to face Isabel. “What should we do today?”

“Let’s relax around here for a while, then eat an early dinner at the lake.”

“The lake?” Lucy cocked her head at Isabel. “What lake?”

“You need to get out more while you’re here. Right in downtown Tempe, there’s a huge man-made lake. There’s a restaurant there where we can eat right on the water. The sunset is gorgeous. We’ll get there early, watch the sunset, and eat tacos. All the talk of Mexican food made me hungry for tacos.”

“Sounds great. Now, let’s talk about the second part of your dream.”

Isabel sighed. “I knew you wouldn’t let it go. Please don’t get all preachy on me.”

Lucy bit her lip, unsure of how to answer. “I want to help you. Your dream sounds like you’re not sure you’re going to heaven and you’re scared.”

Isabel closed her eyes for a moment. “I shouldn’t have told you that part of the dream, but I suppose that’s true. I’ve tried not to think about God too much the last several years, but I guess all this talk of complications from the surgery got me scared of what I’d say when I had to face God.”

“But you’re a Christian. Mom and Dad always took us to church growing up.”

Isabel’s face hardened. “Yeah, well, real life has a way of washing away those fairy-tale notions.”

“What do you mean?”

“You wouldn’t understand. Your life has been perfect. Mom and Dad’s long awaited miracle baby, always lots of friends, a loving husband, and two perfect daughters. And now grandchildren.”

Lucy stared at Isabel. “But you and George were together for forty years. I didn’t think you wanted children. You always said you wanted adventures and children would tie you down.”

Isabel’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “That’s what I tried to convince myself month after month, year after year of not being able to conceive. George was away a lot. He never cared much about having children. But every month I would hope, and every month God said no. I fell into a deep depression while George found comfort in other women.”

Lucy swallowed hard. She shook her head, but kept silent. Isabel had never shared these things with her.

“I talked to a therapist and started investing my energy into other things. I gave up on having children as I got older, but there was always a hole in my life. I stayed with George, ignoring his indiscretions as best as possible, and as he got older, he became more faithful. I always loved him, even if he didn’t always love me. And then he got sick. I prayed to God every day to heal him, to ease his suffering. But God didn’t listen to me, just as He never granted my desire for a baby. Why should I believe in a God who never answers my prayers?”

“Oh, Isabel. I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want pity. You asked, I told you. God doesn’t care about me the way He cares about you. I guess there was only enough love in his heart for one sister. Like it was with Mom and Dad.”

Lucy was aghast. “What?”

“We were doing fine until you came along. When Mom was finally pregnant with you, Mom and Dad forgot all about me. She had several miscarriages. Once she got past the first couple of months with you, she was determined she’d be able to keep you to term. The doctor put her on bedrest. She missed all my games that year. And then once you were born, it was even worse. All she cared about was you. A high schooler isn’t as exciting as a newborn baby. When you were a preschooler, I left for college and I don’t think they even noticed.”

“Oh, Isabel. I had no idea about any of this.”

“Yeah, well, sorry to ruin your perfect little world.”

Lucy leaned back in the desk chair and sent up a prayer. One for wisdom to say the right words. “My world hasn’t been perfect. There are things I never shared with you, just as you never shared those things with me.” She glanced at Isabel, but Isabel’s eyes were focused on her hands. She inhaled a deep breath and plunged onward. “Yes, I was blessed with Ethan. He was a good husband. And yes, I had two beautiful daughters. But I also had two sons.”

Isabel’s head jerked upwards and she searched Lucy’s eyes. Lucy continued. “I lost the first boy when I was five months pregnant, and the second at 6 months. Both stillborn. They let me hold them. They were perfect, tiny. Each one tore a little piece of my heart away. I understand how Mom felt, because I felt the same way. I grieved the loss of my boys, and it affected my parenting of the girls, but I trusted God had a reason, and we stopped trying for more children and focused on the two we had. We leaned into God rather than turning away from him. Then, when Audrey Christine was seven, she had that terrible accident on her bike. That car came out of nowhere.”

Isabel nodded. “I’d forgotten.”

Lucy pressed her mouth into a tight line. “I could never forget. She was in the hospital for months. We almost lost her. But now, except for a limp, you’d never know it happened. But that time shaped our lives, shaped our family. Ava Kathryn, Ethan, and I prayed together every night for Audrey. It drew us all closer together.”

Lucy stared down at her hands. There was still more to tell. “Then Ethan lost his job and the medical bills were staggering. We lost our house.”

Isabel sat up in her chair, then grimaced and readjusted her hip. “You never told me.”

“We didn’t talk much, Iz. What would I do, call my sister long distance to tell her we were broke? No, we sent a change of address in the Christmas card and pretended everything was OK. We lived with Ethan’s parents for a couple of years until we got back on our feet. That was a challenge. They were constantly belittling Ethan, saying he wasn’t a good provider for his family. He left for a while.”

“What? What do you mean, he left? Ethan left you?”

“He took a job working on a fishing boat for a year. He made good money and sent it all home. I worked full time as a nurse while his parents watched the girls. Between my income and what he sent home, we were able to afford the down payment on the house I still live in now. It still took another decade to pay off the medical bills, and the mortgage didn’t get paid off until I got Ethan’s life insurance.” Lucy went back to the kitchen, took her mug to the microwave, and re-heated her tea. When she returned to the living room, Isabel shook her head.

“You buried two little boys, almost lost your oldest daughter, went bankrupt, lost your home, and separated from your husband for a year? Wow. I guess it wasn’t all daisies and roses in your house.”

“Hardly. The girls had their own challenges as teenagers, too. Parenting isn’t easy. There’s a reason why my hair is all gray.”

Isabel laughed. “Sister, you don’t need to be a parent to get gray hair. I’ve dyed mine for decades.” She cocked her head at Lucy. “What about after, though? Seems like God’s been going easy on you.”

“Other than dealing with arthritis for the last ten years, watching my beloved husband waste away and die, having my daughters move out of state and dealing with the grief and loneliness? Sure, it’s been super easy.”

Isabel clapped a hand to her mouth. “My goodness, Lu. Your life sounds worse than mine. I don’t understand. How can you keep such faith when God has dealt you such a crummy hand?”

“Because He loves me and wants what’s best for me. Sure, I can focus on all those trials, or I can choose to focus on the fact that I’m in reasonably good health, I have two beautiful, healthy daughters, and I had thirty-five wonderful years of marriage to Ethan. I can focus on the miracle of Audrey Christine’s recovery rather than the fact the accident happened in the first place. Each trial has brought our family closer together because we’ve drawn nearer to God.”

“Wow. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

“I’ll pray for you. I think you’d like the church Noah took me to.”

“I’ve never been much for the stuffy hymns and rituals.”

“Oh, this church is nothing like that. Promise me you’ll think about going with me on Sunday?”

Isabel huffed. “Fine. But it’s time to change the subject.”

The two sisters spent the afternoon chatting and putting together a jigsaw puzzle. When it was time to go for dinner, Lucy grabbed her phone and saw the missed call from Noah. He’d called hours ago. She listened to the message twice, his deep masculine voice turning her insides into jelly. He’d wanted to go on a hike today. It was just as well. She needed to focus on Isabel. She sent off a quick text. “Sorry I missed your call. Heading out with Isabel. I need to spend time with her.” Guilt rose. She couldn’t run off with Noah. As much as she was starting to care about him, Isabel needed her.