Chapter Seven

Jade

It was sad how useless at living I became since getting my news. I was fully aware hiding in my apartment like a coward for the past few days wasn’t the most mature thing to do. Keeping up with my paperwork at home in order to keep the avalanche from destroying me once I returned to the office became my sole focus. Unfortunately, my determination was futile when my mind wouldn’t concentrate.

During the past forty-eight hours, all the stages of befuddlement I moved through had mimicked the worst kind of flu. Therefore, lying to my boss on how sick I felt turned out to be true, after all.

Besides the obvious angst over becoming a single mother, the probable outcome of doing so alone while juggling a very demanding career consumed me. I worried Max would forever resent me over this bomb that would soon detonate in his life.

Shit, getting this news was such bad timing. My parents’ thirtieth anniversary dinner was tomorrow, and I dreaded seeing them while lying through omission. The “flu” I suffered from could get me out of the party altogether, but guilt over missing such a profound event in my family’s life superseded that selfishness.

I’d worry about all that later, because I had a much more pressing matter to handle first. I searched for the number to Max’s gym on my phone and then tapped it to call. With each ring, my heart pounded harder. After asking for him, and then a torturous wait on hold, his sexy voice filtered through my cell.

“Hey, there,” he said, like he was happy to hear from me, and my gut clenched. “How are you?”

“Good,” I lied.

“Does it normally take you six weeks to respond to an email?”

“Email? What email?”

“I didn’t have your phone number, and showing up at your place seemed creepy. So, even though in your note you insinuated not to contact you, I ignored it and sent you an email.”

“You did?” I asked, genuinely shocked.

“Yes. Jadeeast69@gmail.com, right?”

His claim made me wonder where we’d be now if I had seen his email. “I never saw it. In my defense, I only use that email to get discounts and stuff.”

“And here I thought you were ghosting me.” The humor in his voice forced my nausea to rise. At hearing silence, he then asked, “Is something wrong?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “Um…can we meet?”

“Sure. I’m just catching up on paperwork.”

“Actually, if it’s not too much trouble, can you come by here?”

“I can be there in an hour. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” I lied again. “It’s just been a long day. See you soon.”

“Okay, give me your cell number in case I get held up.” After exchanging our phone numbers, I spent the next hour attempting to make myself presentable. Even a shower, applying some makeup, and wearing clothes other than pajamas did little to make me feel human.

My hand automatically cradled my flat belly as I stared at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t find any joy deep within. And in that realization, I felt even worse over the situation. Babies brought joy. I knew many strong, successful women juggled a family and a career while making it look so easy. Regardless, I couldn’t manage to transform my worries into happiness.

The foregone conclusion that my life would never be the same thrummed through my veins along with my blood. I screwed up.

Could this even be considered a screw up? Shouldn’t screwing up be reserved for failing a test in school, neglecting to pay a bill, a fender-bender?

Bearing a child from a stranger had to be defined much more profoundly than just screwing up.

The intercom buzzing brought with it a new case of the shakes. Without delay, I stalked right toward it, even if it was false bravado, because if I hesitated in any way, I wouldn’t have answered at all. I pressed the entry button after checking to make sure it was him.

A minute or so later, he emerged from the elevator, looking all kinds of gorgeous in a tight black T-shirt and well-worn jeans.

“Hi, Max.” It took me longer than it should have to add, “Come in.” One look at those stunning green eyes and I was finished before I even started.

He saw right through my false bravado—of course he did, because my stiff body language was screaming, “I’m not okay!”

Max engulfed me in his arms. “What is it, Jade? Are you sick?” he asked, placing warm lips against my forehead.

Shaking my head, I savored the feel of him holding me for what would probably be the last time.

He held tighter, spoke softer, and ripped me wide open. “Hey, I’m here. Whatever you need, I’m here,” he whispered before kissing the top of my head, caressing my back with long, comforting strokes.

Oh, how I wanted his words to be true, silently implored the universe that he’d feel the same conviction in the next few minutes. Greedily, I couldn’t bring myself to break the hold he had on me.

What seemed like hours later, I somehow mustered the courage to pull out of his embrace and look up at him. His smile could melt the thickest layer of ice on a winter day. Then it faltered.

“Jade, you’re scaring me.” He cupped my cheek, and I closed my eyes to revel in the roughness of his calloused fingers, the warmth of his skin. But I couldn’t depend on that electric connection we had the first night we met. That wouldn’t get us through reality and have us emerge at the end unscathed. Only love could do that, and that missing ingredient couldn’t be picked up off a grocery store shelf like a bottle of vanilla extract to make things taste better.

I dragged in a breath and said, “We need to talk, Max.”

He searched my face, concern evident in his drawn brows. “Okay.”

We walked toward the couch and sat side-by-side. He crossed an ankle over a knee, angled his body toward mine, and laid his muscular arm along the back of my couch. The confidence in his posture gutted me. In mere seconds, I could cause it to evaporate into thin air. I could kill that confidence with a few words.

“Jade. What is it?” His eyes tracked my trembling hand as I raised it to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

Time to get this over with. “I’m pregnant.”

…

Max

My heart rate spiked at her admission. All the blood drained from my face as those two little words stunned me silent. I’d be lying if I said my initial reaction was anything other than complete shock.

“Are you sure?” I asked pathetically, my throat constricting with each breath I took.

“Yes. I’ve been to the doctor. I’m due in March.”

Only four months after my first child would come. I could literally feel a panic attack coming on. But I quickly forgot my own angst at seeing such raw anguish written on her face. I watched as she struggled and failed to keep her expression void of emotion despite a sheen in her eyes and a slight tremble of her hands, all of which meant she was as thrown by this as I was. By dragging in a deep breath, I attempted to pull it together for her sake.

“I’m so sorry, Max,” she added, but only above a whisper, as I raked a hand through my hair.

“This isn’t your fault, Jade.”

It felt like an eternity passed as we sat dead silent until she finally spoke again. “I know you don’t know me, and saying it’s yours means little, but I will have a paternity test.”

“What? No. I believe you.”

“Well, I’m more than willing to. You have no reason to trust me, and I’m sure this must be a complete shock. I understand if you need time to think this through. Max, please know I don’t expect you to…”

“Jade, stop.” I held her gaze and said firmly, “There’s nothing to think through.” Seeing relief in those gorgeous brown eyes caused my racing heart to calm a bit. I placed a soft, reassuring kiss on her lips. “You won’t have to deal with this alone. I’m here, for the baby…and for you. You’re pregnant with my child, Jade. We’re in this together.”

With those words, I hoped I was able to calm her reservations even as my own violently spun out of control. It was difficult enough to have one unexpected baby on the way—now I had two.

How was I going to tell Jade? How was I going to tell Tracey? And my brothers. Fuck. They would never let me live this down.