Chapter Twenty-Nine

Max

After an amazing night getting lost in each other, I spent a good part of the rest of it staring at her. As she slept, I tried to find a way to broach what I’d been wanting to say for weeks. It had to be now. With my returning to Miami later that evening, I wanted to say it to her face and not over a phone call.

The chimes ominously ringing from her cell phone metaphorically meant our time was almost up. Jade had set her alarm earlier than normal to allow more time together before she had to get to work and I had to get to the gym.

She reached toward the nightstand to silence her phone and with a languid stretch said, “Morning.”

“Morning, beautiful.” I pulled her closer, memorizing how her naked body fit so perfectly against mine. Without conscious thought, my one hand rested on her belly while I traced a lazy pattern over the warm skin of her back with the other. “This weekend was nice.”

She tilted her head to stare at me. “It was great, Max.”

Her words said one thing, but I could see so many more unspoken words in her eyes. “Something is bothering you. I can tell. Talk to me.”

She dragged in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “When we’re together, it’s always so wonderful.”

“But?”

“But…when we’re apart, sometimes I feel like we’re trying to shove a square peg into a round hole.”

My heart sunk at her admission.

She twisted her body to lie across my chest. “Max, I never expected to feel this way. And it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“What is?”

“Being apart. I hate when you feel guilty that you’re not with me. You hate missing things. It’s a never-ending cycle, and with it comes angst that neither of us deserves.”

“I didn’t know you felt this way.” And if I had to be honest, I thought, despite our separations, that things were going really well. I could tell she struggled with emotions, but I attributed it to emotions that came with pregnancy. Maybe denial had me missing the fact that there was more than just worry in those big brown orbs. There was a touch of sadness, and now that I recognized that, it practically leveled me. “We love each other, Jade. The rest will work out.”

“Sometimes love isn’t always enough, Max.”

“We can do something about it.” I lifted a strand of her hair distractedly. “What if you didn’t look for another job yet? What if you took some time off once the baby came and moved to Miami with me?” Her entire posture instantly stiffened, but I powered on. “You hate your firm, and I have no doubt you’ll get a job in a better one. I know you’ll find a firm that appreciates your hard work and acknowledges what a talented lawyer you are. I just think maybe it would make sense to take a year or two before you do. That’ll give you the opportunity to be with the baby. Selfishly, it would enable you to be with me. If you wanted to, you could study for the bar in Miami to broaden your opportunities.”

I ignored her deafening silence, taking the moment to get it all out. “I know I asked you to move in here, but now I’m asking you to move to Florida instead. It makes so much sense. I love you, and I want you to be with me.”

She sat up and shook her head. “You’re asking me to put everything I ever dreamed of on hold, Max? You’re asking me to give it all up?”

“No, I’m not. I’m asking for you to just postpone it.” I desperately searched her face.

“Nothing changes for you, then?”

“Jade, I can’t change my situation. I have a daughter there. Even if I gave up the gym, that doesn’t change my need to be in Miami for Mia. And yes, I’d have to be here, too, for you and our son. But this could be the perfect solution. I don’t expect you to want to move there permanently. Maybe we become snowbirds about thirty years before most people do.”

The longer she remained silent, the more I doubted my decision to present my case. Maybe she wasn’t ready. Maybe I should’ve waited until after the baby came.

“Jade, say something,” I pleaded.

But when she said, “Max, I can’t do this,” I wished she’d said nothing.

The last hour spent with Jade hovered over our sunny perfect weekend like an unexpected storm cloud. I hated how we left things off, hanging in a very unstable balance. While she showered and got ready for work, I decided to give her the space she needed, the time she needed to think of all I said. There was nothing more I could do but hope I hadn’t pushed her away beyond reach.

By the time I walked into my gym, I was mentally exhausted. What normally would lift my spirits the minute I entered, today the noisy machines being utilized by my eager clients did just the opposite.

The one upside was my absence at the gym hadn’t harmed business. My management team ran the Manhattan location as effectively as I did, and the unexpected holiday bonuses I planned to gift next week revealed how grateful I was.

After being stopped by several clients to chat and congratulate me on Mia’s birth, I walked into my office and found an enormous bouquet of pink balloons suspended right above my desk. On the shelves of my bookcases were a half dozen gift bags of varying sizes. And across the room hung a tremendous banner that read It’s a Girl.

Moving the helium bundle to the corner, no sooner had I turned on my computer when I heard, “Knock, knock.” Arlene poked her head in with a beaming smile. “You slipped in while I was in the break room. Welcome back.”

“Thank you.” I waved at the balloons and gifts. “For all of this. You guys have already done so much for me by running the place.” I matched her smile before adding, “Have a seat.”

She took one of the chairs facing my desk and grinned. “Am I fired?”

“Ha ha. A, you’ve been amazing. I couldn’t have done all I did in Miami without you.” I opened my drawer, pulled out a white envelope, and handed it to her.

“What’s this?” Instead of responding, I waited for her to scan the paperwork. “Manager?”

“Yes. All the details are there. You’ve been practically running this place on your own already. Do you accept?”

“This is very generous of you, Max. Yes, of course I accept. Thank you.” She bolted around my desk and hugged me tightly just as another knock sounded at the door.

“Yes?”

I had no way of preparing for who I saw when the door slowly swung open.

“Am I interrupting?” Mr. Easton said, his face void of all emotion.

“No, no. I was just leaving,” Arlene said before I could say a word. She joyfully snatched her envelope and left, closing the door behind her.

“Mr. Easton. Please come in, sit down.” He gave me a curt nod and took the chair Arlene had just vacated. “What can I do for you?”

The man looked like he was in physical pain as he sat there staring at me. Tension literally pulsed around us the longer I waited for him to finally speak. His eyes remained downcast, focusing on a pattern he made running his thumb over the palm of his other hand.

“Look, I came to apologize.” He looked up at me and paused. “The holidays are here, and I want my relationship with my daughter back on normal footing. I respect you’re in her life now, and…” His focus pinned onto the banner before sliding to the balloons suspended in the corner. “You. You and Jade are having a girl?” The tiniest lift altered the corners of his mouth.

Fuck.

“No, sir. I have a daughter.”

“A daughter? With who? You’re married?” His eyes narrowed into slits as he processed my admission. “How old is your daughter?”

“Almost three weeks old. Her mother and I aren’t together. We were never together.” He looked at me like I sprouted antlers from my forehead. Nothing I could say would help, so I kept it simple and said, “It happened before I met Jade.”

“Not much sooner than when you met Jade. Does my daughter know about this?”

Was he serious? “Yes, she does.”

“And you’re opening a gym in Miami with two kids in New York? How is that supposed to work?”

“My daughter is in Miami.” This just keeps getting better and better.

When he flew out of the chair, I did the same. “Is this some kind of joke?” he barked. “You got my daughter pregnant after already having gotten another woman pregnant who lives in Florida?”

“It’s not as scandalous as it seems.” Fuck! How was I supposed to explain that a box of faulty condoms forever altered my life, as well as one woman I did happen to care for and another I loved? And how the fuck did I begin to explain it may have been the best thing that happened in my life because it brought me Jade?

“It seems like you have no control. That’s how it seems.”

“You don’t know me,” I said through a clenched jaw to channel my own anger that dangerously began to simmer. It was one thing for him to be upset and not understanding, but another for him to insult me when he had no idea the type of man I was. “I don’t expect you to understand my situation, but I do care about your daughter very much. In fact, I’m in love—”

“Save it!” he barked loud enough that those outside my door most definitely heard him.

“This is my place of business,” I said, losing the battle in trying to remain calm. “If you would like to discuss this further, I’d be happy to do so somewhere else. But I will not have you stand there and judge me when you have a biased perspective of the truth.”

“No, my perspective is crystal clear.” He raised both hands in surrender. “I can’t condone this. I’m sorry.” Without another word, he stormed out of my office, and I knew I was over with this fucking day.