Chapter Thirty-Three

Jade

My eyes flittered opened to see my dad sitting in the chair beside my bed. “Hey.”

“Hi, sweetheart.”

“How long have you been sitting there?”

“A few minutes. I didn’t want to wake you.”

I nodded. “Where is everyone?”

“Scattered. They want to give you some time to rest.” He stood and came to sit on the side of my bed. Awkward silence stretched with things still unsettled between us. I missed my father and the way we could talk about anything.

“Those are pretty,” he said, referring to the huge arrangement sitting on the windowsill. Next to them were a teddy bear Sapphire bought and a balloon bouquet from my parents. “Are they from Max?”

“Work.” I hated sounding so brittle, but he made me defensive when it came to Max. The first thing my father said after Michael was born was I assume your guy is in Miami?

“We were able to get a quick peek at Michael. Named after both grandfathers, huh?” On my nod, he went on to say, “That means a lot to me. Jadie, he’s so beautiful.”

“He is.” After another bout of silence, I tried to swallow down the lump swelling in my throat.

“Sweetheart, I just want you to be happy.” He had voiced this before, but did he really? He took my hand in his as I waited for him to say more. “I also know you’re happiest when you accomplish what you set out to do.”

And there it was…what my father believed I needed to be happy. Could I blame him? Until recently, I had believed it, too.

“You’ve been that way your whole life,” he continued. “That job you were—”

“Whoa,” I cut him off. “What job?” He looked away sheepishly. “Dad?”

“I overheard your sister telling Greg.”

“Great.”

“Don’t blame her, please. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity for you. Even without the junior partner title, the money is amazing, Jade. You must take it.” Tears instantly began to swell, and I swiped one away that had rolled down my face. My hormone fluxes had turned me into a leaky faucet lately. I wasn’t ready to talk about that job offer with him, maybe because I knew what he would say. And now he was predictably saying what I knew he’d say.

“I looked into the firm,” he went on. “They’re international. Their practices are exemplary. This is an amazing opportunity for you. And don’t worry about taking on a new job with an infant. Your mom and I are here to help you. I was thinking…you can move back home, and we can watch Michael while you’re working. The commute is a breeze, and you wouldn’t have to worry about cooking or cleaning.”

Sure, it would be easier, but at the cost of my independence. “I’m not moving back home.”

“No day care is open as late as you work,” he argued. “The baby won’t know the difference while he’s young. With your mother and I caring for him, you can work hard to achieve your goal. And then, by the time he’ll be demanding more of your time, you would be able to reap the benefits that come with making partner. Jade, you can’t do it alone without sacrificing something—either your career or quality time with Michael.”

“Women with jobs have babies all the time,” I said angrily before sucking in a deep breath and wincing from all the throbbing that plagued my entire body. “And I’m not alone.”

“But you are, sweetheart.” The pity in his eyes—eyes so similar to my own—made me want to throw up. “He wasn’t even here for Michael’s birth.”

“Stop.” I yanked my hand out of his. “Does Mom know about this? About you ambushing me?”

“I’m not ambushing you,” he said petulantly. “I’m trying to help you see your options. And to answer your question, no, your mother doesn’t know, but she’d be happy to have you back home.” He took advantage of my silence to continue and plead his case. “Your sister, being only a few miles away, would be a big help as well. It makes much more sense than the alternative,” he said, using the same argument Max had.

What was it with the men in my life thinking they had to fix everything for me? Did they think I wasn’t capable of handling my own life?

“Max seems like he’s a good man, but—”

“Dad, I know you went to his gym. I know everything you said to him.”

He sighed. “I went there intending to apologize. And then I saw those balloons.” A mixture of disgust and anger altered his normally neutral expression. “All I did was state the truth. His situation doesn’t allow for a stable life here in New York. He has obligations thousands of miles away. I know you care about him, Jade, but it can’t work. He can’t be in two places at one time. He’s building a future on unstable ground, and you’ll get caught up in the aftershock.”

Hearing my own concerns coming from my father’s mouth crushed me. There were so many things I wanted to argue, but I couldn’t bring myself to say even one of them.

This conversation shouldn’t be happening while my hormones were raging out of control. Because it didn’t bode well for me to silently sit there and cry when I wanted to scream that Max was there for me. Maybe not physically, but he was always there in my corner. He loved me. He wanted me with him.

So why couldn’t I voice any of that to my father?

…

Max

Every muscle in my body went into lockdown over all that I heard. I wanted to barge in, tell him he was wrong. I was there for her. I’d always be there for her. But to a man like him, they’d be nothing but empty words and meaningless promises.

Muffled sobs were the only thing cutting through the sudden silence, and they sliced me wide open.

“Jade, sweetheart…” her dad finally said softly. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to know we’re all here for you. You have options.”

When she remained silent, that crushed me more than her sobs had. Clearly, she was confused over our situation, and that one-sided conversation was a huge wake-up call for me.

A few seconds later, as the unmistakable sound of footsteps neared, I ducked into the empty room next door. I needed to talk to her. She was getting it from both ends. And I wasn’t any better than her father in pushing her into something she wasn’t ready for. The difference was his idea actually gave her what she’d worked so hard to achieve. Mine would strip her of the ability to take control of her career. To follow through on the plans she’d so carefully laid before she met me.

I waited a few more seconds before entering her room, where she sat stone-like with her gaze transfixed on the window. When I approached, she turned her head and instantly plastered a huge smile on her face. “Hey. Did you see Michael?”

“I did.” Her smile never faltered as I sat on the edge of her bed and took her hand. “He’s so beautiful.”

“I know. I can’t believe he’s here.”

“The nurse said he should be cleared soon.”

“Oh, thank God.”

I skimmed my hand over her cheek, swiping away the moisture left behind by tears, and her smile wobbled.

“I have something for you.” Reaching into my pocket, I retrieved a slim box I’d been dying to give her. “I had planned to have it delivered to you tonight for Valentine’s Day. I guess now, it serves two purposes.” Wordlessly, I watched as she lifted the hinged lid.

Her eyes widened in wonder. “Max. This is so pretty.” She lifted the slim chain holding a diamond heart. “I love it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

I wanted to say she always had my heart, and this would be a reminder. I wanted to tell her it didn’t matter how many miles that separated us because a titanium tether kept us connected. But knowing what I had to actually say would undermine all that. Still, I remained silent, staring at her hands, holding the token that represented my heart.

Suddenly, she wrapped her hand around mine and squeezed until I met her eyes. “Max, please don’t beat yourself up. You’re here now, and I’m so happy you are.”

I waited a moment then quietly admitted, “I heard what your dad said a few minutes ago.” At that, her smile disappeared completely. “Why didn’t you tell me about the job offer?”

“I was going to. You just had so much on your plate.”

“Babe, he’s right about the job,” I admitted, holding back that her father also correctly pegged every one of my vulnerabilities.

“What?” Her eyes searched my face, silently questioning further.

I wished I could say his disapproval wouldn’t stop me from being with her, but I couldn’t. What the man had voiced was the absolute truth. I hated that he was right about Jade deserving more. I hated that there may never come a day where we saw eye to eye. What I hated most, though, was how those realities were as sharp as a blade that managed to slice a divide between Jade and me.

“You should move back to Jersey and take that job.”

She didn’t even object; she just stared at me. Whether it was from shock or agreement, I couldn’t be sure.

“It makes perfect sense,” I explained. “This will enable you to stay in New York. It will give you the support and help that I can’t. You worked so hard for that opportunity, and you need to take it.” There was no way of knowing what ran through her mind. Still, I continued to try to persuade her. “I’ll fly back as much as I can to see you and Michael. Just because I need to split my life in two doesn’t mean you have to. You and Michael belong here, surrounded by your family and mine.”

“Max…” Her tears fell again, and she swiped them away, looking annoyed by their appearance.

“Baby, I’m sorry I pushed you so hard.” I cupped her face with my other hand and stared into her gorgeous eyes. “Now isn’t a time for you to be sad. We just had a perfect baby boy, and he’s lucky to have a mom who’s beautiful and strong and deserves better than a part-time partner.”

“That’s for me to decide,” she said, her voice hoarse and clipped.

“You’re right. It is for you to decide. And I love you enough to make sure your decision isn’t biased because of me.”

“Someone is ready to be with his parents,” a sing-songy voice said from the doorway. I tried to ignore the stabbing pain in my chest when Jade pulled her hand from mine.

“How is he?” she asked the same nurse who I’d seen in the NICU.

“He’s great.” She wheeled him in with a beaming smile. “He’ll be ready to eat soon, but you can get to know each other while he’s quiet.” She lifted Michael from his bassinet and placed him in Jade’s arms before snapping her fingers at me. “Dad. Give me your phone again. Picture time.” Robotically, I unlocked my cell and handed it to her. She moved around to the other side of Jade’s bed and said, “Smile!” A few clicks later, she handed my phone back to me. I pocketed it without looking at the photos. “Okay, kids,” she said. “I’ll leave you all alone.”

The moment she walked out, I cupped Michael’s head in one hand and Jade’s cheek with the other. “Hey.”

Her eyes lifted to mine.

“I don’t want you worrying about any of what your dad said or I said,” I lied to spare her from my unsettling thought of giving her up. Forcing a smile, I then asked, “Okay?” The expression on her face contradicted her nod. Regardless, I skimmed a thumb across her cheek, holding the deceptive smile on my face. She’d never know the crushing pain I felt deep inside my chest. “I love you.”

“Me, too.”

I pressed my lips to hers, savoring the deep physical connection that never seemed to be a problem for us. I had her for the next few weeks, and during I vowed to enjoy every second of it. But as each grain of sand sifted through the hourglass of our time together, I knew once it emptied, I’d never be the same.

Pushing it all aside, I tried to focus on what was important at that moment.

Being with Jade and my son.