THINGS I’VE LEARNED

If you’ve read this far, you’ll know I’m not a fan of unsolicited advice. Nobody knows you better than you. Rest assured that if you’re struggling, I’m not going to suggest you ‘just don’t worry about it’ or offer links to a seven-day wellness retreat in a remote hinterland log cabin. But I do know what works for me. So that’s what I’m sharing. Just a few things I’ve learned that help* keep me grounded.

• Thoughts are not facts.

• If that thing you’re freaking out about won’t matter this time next week, it probably doesn’t matter.

• Breathe. Slowly and deeply. Five times. Repeat.

• Patting a cat is soothing. Dogs are also good.

• Lists are your friend. If all the things you have to do are forming a gluggy hairball of confusion in your brain, write them down. Then number them in order of urgency. Only move on to number two once you’ve completed number one. And so on.

• Fighting with strangers on the internet is bad for the soul.

• Sometimes you just have to cry until all the crying is done.

• The more you resist those painful, icky feelings, the longer they’ll hang around.

• You are stronger than you think.

• Putting yourself first is not selfish. If you’ve got nothing left in the tank, you can’t help others. Learn to say no.

• No one person can fulfil all your needs. Different people in your life play different roles. Choose the right person for the right role.

• That last glass of wine is rarely a good idea.

• Ugg boots and a collection of comfy pyjamas are a solid investment in yourself.

• Respond to that voice in your head telling you you’re not enough with compassion, not anger. It comes from a place of fear. Reassure, don’t chastise.

• Try to think the best of people. Even when they’re being dicks. Everyone has a struggle we can’t see.

• You’re not in high school anymore. You don’t have to take part in the popularity contest.

• Get outside. Move your body. Walk around the block. If you’re not feeling it after ten minutes, give yourself permission to come back. (Nine times out of ten, if you make it to ten minutes, you’ll keep going.)

• ‘Should’ is a word that unravels everything. Get it in the bin.

• Watching YouTube videos of baby pandas sliding down a slide is never a bad idea.

• Be wary of Twitter. If it’s becoming a toxic cesspit, make for the exit.

• Schedule in regular digital detoxes. Screen-free weekends are a good way to start.

• Turn off the news sometimes. Go watch your favourite fun TV show.

• Kick your shoes off and let your bare feet touch the grass now and then.

• Take yourself on dates. Be brave enough to watch a movie or go to dinner on your own.

• If you wear a bra, take it off as soon as you get home. Best. Feeling. Ever.

• Sing at the top of your voice.

• Leave your phone at home sometimes. It will be okay.

• Keep a gratitude journal by the side of your bed. Every night, write down three things that went well that day. Celebrate every small win.

• Don’t go more than two days without a shower. Change your clothes even if you’re not going outside.

• Those perfect moments filled with joy can’t be bottled. Don’t chase an encore. Appreciate it for what it is: an exquisite snapshot in time.

• Dance. As much as you can. Wherever you can.

• Accept love without question. Don’t hold back on telling the people you love how much you care.

• Accept the shitty days. Don’t attach a significance to them they don’t merit.

• Listen to the rain on the roof.

• Know that this moment will pass. You can survive. Hold on.

* Just because I know what’s good for me doesn’t mean I always do it. I am, after all, a work in progress. Give yourself permission to not be perfect.