While mid-winter gripped the surrounding wilderness, the silence broke with each frantic footstep as Lina Cousins hustled through the deepening snow to deliver the only care package she could afford. The lid covering the hot, homemade chicken noodle soup rattled over the thin metal pot, as she trailed a fresh set of tire tracks down the county road.
“See that!” her 12-year-old brother, Kolt, yelled from behind. He swung the lantern clutched in his gloved hand toward the dark understory to their left.
“Ain’t nothing there,” Lina said, exasperated. Why I always gotta watch this brat…
“You’s a liar,” Kolt wheezed, sloshing behind, as he struggled to match her stride. “Something’s gonna smell that soup and jump me cause there’s more white meat on my butt than in that pot.” His eyes widened. “That why you brought me? For bait if we crosses a bear?”
“Don’t be a baby. Luke needs this soup to get him better.” And I’ll get a spend New Years with my boyfriend after all.
Twenty minutes later, Lina hesitated shin-deep in snow, staring across a dim forest clearing at the Tollman family’s isolated homestead. Interior lights cast an inviting glow onto the porch of the small cabin, with its heavy plank door. What am I waiting for? I come this far.
Exhausted from their hike, Kolt slogged his way through the snow to a tire swing hanging from a nearby hemlock that towered over their heads. When he wedged his chubby butt into the swing, the branch above creaked and popped, dumping a cascade of frozen white powder over his coppery hair, then onto his broad shoulders.
“Brrr… fricking tree!” he complained through a cloudburst of white breath. “Why I gotta come, anyway?” The lantern light fluttered as he beat his arms for warmth.
“Why you think? You know Mama went into town cuz great-aunt Mable slipped and fell on the ice,” Lina replied, glaring at her brother. “And Papa say if I don’t keep you out a trouble ‘til he get home, I’ll be cutting vine maple to serve up my own switch. Your own fault for being a twit. Now quit flapping ‘fore you put the light out.”
Lowering his arms, Kolt pushed back with his snow-caked boots and started swinging. “My feet’s cold and I’m hungry. Gimme some soup.”
“Ain’t for you! Just wait while I drop it off and—”
“I ain’t dangling out here by myself in the dark.”
“Do as I say or I swear…! Now give me the lantern.” Balancing the pot in one hand, she stretched out the palm of her other.
“Make me!” he dared, kicking back onto his toes and jerking the light away.
Lina’s hazel eyes narrowed with her own version of their father’s get-a-switch look. “Oh, fine. But stay put.”
As she tromped away, the surrounding shadows shifted and footsteps crunched in the snow behind her. When she whirled around, Kolt bumped into her. While shuffling to keep her footing, a portion of thin broth sloshed onto Lina’s bare hand.
“Dang you!” she snapped before licking the cool greasy liquid off her fingers. “Get your butt back there or I’ll dip your head’n soup and tie ya to the tree for a grizzly snack.”
With a huff, Kolt stomped back to the swing. “I hate you!” he yelled.
She watched her brother settle into the tire again and set it spinning.
“Bite me!” Kolt shouted into the dark before burying his face in the crook of one arm. Like a cheap warning beacon, the lantern weakly illuminated the surrounding trees as he slowly spun, waiting to be abandoned with his childhood fears.
Turning in her pink sneakers, Lina blazed a path through the fresh snow toward the Tollmans’ cabin. Icy crystals clung to her white socks and clumped on the hem of her blue dress.
Recalling what had brought her to this moment, her stomach soured. It had begun with the emergency phone call hours earlier when her mother had rushed off to Sauk Prairie, on the other side of the river. But it was the second call thirty minutes later from her boyfriend, Luke, that had ruined her plans for a special New Year’s Eve celebration.
“Hey, babe,” Luke had said over the phone. “I gotta cancel our hook-up tonight.”
“What… why?” she whined, “We’re s’posed to spend the tonight together. Like before. You promised me!”
“Trust me. You don’t want what I got.”
“I don’t mind. It seems like forever since I last seen you.” Trembling, she looked down at her mother’s blue farm dress that she had altered for the occasion.
“I’s set and ready and won’t stay long. There’s—”
“Listen—,” he interrupted.
“—something important I gotta tell ya,” she pressed.
“Face it, girl, tonight ain’t happening,” he said with a weak cough. “Tell me later. I’ll call ya in a couple days. We’ll get together then, I promise.” The phone line went dead.
When the day began to wane along with her New Year’s Eve dreams, Lina was unable to contain the growing turmoil of her emotions—or her news. Scrapping their original date, she decided to deliver a ‘care package’ instead. How can he be mad about that? He didn’t make me promise not to come.
A deep breath of biting cold air drew her back to the present. Her anxiety began to settle as she stepped onto the front porch of the Tollmans’ cabin. This’ll show Luke how good I am for him… how much we belong together. Ignoring the numbness in her feet and the dryness of her mouth, she rehearsed her greeting.
“Hi, sweetie, you hungry?” She groaned. Sounds too much like them ladies at the food bank.
“Hey, champ, I’s worried so brought soup to get ya better.” That’s good.
“Cuz I love you so much and I got a wonderful surprise for you.” That’s really good!
Peeking through the front window into the brightly lit living room, she saw the familiar plush green couch and cast-iron wood-burning stove. Feeling bolstered, she stepped up to the front door and immediately recognized the song blaring within the cabin. She grinned and the music dispelled any lingering doubt whether he cared for her. It was the Tar-heel tune ‘Promise,’ by Jimmie Jewel. That was playing on the radio our first night together. Luke even said it could be ‘our’ song if I like:
I can’t offer you perfection,
cause I can’t promise to be true;
But I’ll never get to heaven,
cause I’m never leaving you…
Lina’s chest filled with warmth as she anticipated being with her love again. Even sick, he’s thinking ‘bout me! What’s he gonna do once he knows I’m having a baby? Her breath quickened with the possibilities.
Reaching out to let herself in, she was surprised to find the door locked. Why’s he done that? Ain’t like we’re in the city. She knocked, wondering if Luke’s folks were home to take care of him. Probably cain’t hear my tapping over the music. Maybe he’s in bed trying to get some rest.
Stepping off the porch, she practically danced her way along the side of the cabin, and then slowed as she approached the outer corner of Luke’s bedroom. Muffled groans and faint bangs resounded over the loud folksy music. How sick is he? She gasped sharply and the cold air bit the back of her throat. What if he’s dying!?
Her heart pounded as she turned the corner and headed for the back door. The banging inside lightened. Was he having himself a bad dream? I’ll cheer him up. With a deep breath, she smiled as she stepped onto the deck in front of Luke’s bedroom window. Red sheer curtains and low light from a bedside lamp softened the interior. A thrilling warm flush coursed through her body with a single thought. Maybe he’s naked.
Lina darted a glance at the bed and, as effective as a backhand, she was jolted from her reverie, crashing into a chaos of emotions. NO!
Standing rigid, unable to tear her eyes away, she witnessed the unimaginable within the very room she had made love to Luke. The soft banging inside became rhythmic. Then she glimpsed an empty wine bottle lying atop a discarded dress—a familiar flowered print—with a garish orange poppy pattern on white cotton.
This cain’t be happening!
Nauseated, Lina focused on the bedroom scene; the older woman inside groaned with delight, wearing nothing but a heart-shaped silver locket that bounced at her throat with each thrust from the 17-year-old boy on top. Lina shuddered. Suddenly the naked woman looked toward the window and a strangled cry broke from her heaving chest. She scrambled out from under Luke, hastily grabbing the corner of a red sheet to conceal the bare beauty of her mature figure.
Frustrated by the interruption, Luke complained, “Where you going Holly?” Noticing the woman’s gaze, he twisted to face the window, putting his manhood on full display. He immediately recognized the shadowed form outside and the flush of color drained from his face.
“Aw, hell!” he groaned.
Lina’s chest constricted under the weight of betrayal and fragments of her shattered emotions tore at her heart. Her hands added their own treachery as the pot of cold soup slipped from her fingers. Greasy globs of congealed chicken broth and sagging noodles splattered down the front of her dress before the empty metal container hit the wooden deck with a clank. While her eyes burned with tears of despair, a dark corner of her mind smoldered with fury that quickly sparked into obsession.
Luke’s mine! You cain’t have him, Mama!
The bedroom window shattered as Lina slammed her upper body through the glass, exchanging one pain for another.