Hannah sent the text message and waited. It had been the only way she could think of to get Mark’s attention without also alerting poor, poor Mia. She desperately needed to speak to him alone first, because …
Oh my God. How could this be happening? None of it felt real. Could it be a dream? She wanted to pinch herself, but suddenly all of her limbs felt like lead and the idea of moving even a muscle seemed impossible. What was happening? Was this what extreme shock felt like?
How could Diane have done that? How could she really be …?
Hannah couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought. It was too much. It was incomprehensible. And how could she, of all people, not have sensed that something so horrendous had happened to her own flesh and blood just hours earlier?
Still sitting there on the edge of the bed, where only moments ago she’d been speaking to her dad, she started to feel light-headed. Oh no. Was she going to be sick?
The bedroom door swung open in slow motion and Mark was standing there again, like when she’d sent him away. How long ago was that? It felt like hours.
She opened her mouth to say something. Tried to stand up, but …
Next thing she knew, Hannah was lying on the opposite side of the bed – her own side – feeling groggy. Mark was crouched on the floor at her side.
‘What happened?’ she asked, instinctively trying to sit up, only to feel Mark’s hand on her chest, encouraging her to stay put. ‘I—’
‘Easy,’ he whispered. ‘You fainted. Luckily it happened just as I walked in and I managed to catch you.’
‘How long was I—’
‘Only a moment. I carried you over here and laid you down. How do you feel?’
‘Woozy.’
Mark pursed his lips and gave a gentle nod of his head. ‘Exactly. So best not rush to get up again straight away. Close your eyes for a moment, if it helps. I’m right here if you need anything.’
‘Thanks, love. I might just do that.’
She enjoyed a few seconds of peace before the blaring klaxon of reality started up again in her skull and her eyes teared up in response. ‘Oh, Mark!’ she said, wishing she didn’t have to repeat her father’s words out loud; knowing it would only made them more real. ‘Something awful has happened.’
She felt his hand, which was wrapped around hers, stiffen.
‘I … whatever it is, Hannah, I’m here for you. Okay? Take your time. I can see you’re very upset.’
‘Where’s Mia?’ she asked, lowering her voice to the faintest of whispers. ‘I don’t want her to hear this. Not yet. Not before I know what to say.’
‘In the kitchen, I think. Maybe the lounge.’ His reply was also a whisper, but still she warned him to keep it down.
Hannah took a long, slow breath before she spoke again. And when she did, it was even quieter still, delivered straight into her husband’s waiting ear.
He smelled clean from his recent shower – his hair freshly shampooed – and she couldn’t help but think what an awful match that pleasant scent was for the horrendous news she had to impart.
‘It’s Diane. She’s gone.’
Mark’s head jerked back at this. ‘What do you mean? I saw her this morn—’
‘Shh! Keep it down. I’m serious.’
‘Sorry, but what are you talking about? What do mean gone? Gone where?’
An eerie calmness descended on Hannah as the words finally came out. Bizarrely, she imagined herself as a TV news anchor reading from a teleprompter. ‘She’s dead, Mark. She walked out in front of a train this morning. Dad just got a phone call from the police. Her mobile was, um, destroyed in the, er … accident. But somehow they managed to work out who she was and, after breaking into the house, found Dad’s number. Thankfully he had his phone turned on and there was a signal. He’s already busy trying to find a flight home.’
She paused and looked at Mark’s face. It was twitching and blinking and shaking in a way that reminded Hannah of one of those pre-CGI horror movies when someone transformed into a werewolf. It was a more extreme reaction than she’d expected – particularly as she knew Mark had never much liked her sister, even before the big falling-out. But she supposed it was something to do with the fact that he’d only just seen her. Come to think of it, he may have even been the last person who spoke to her. Hadn’t he said she’d given him a lift to the station that morning? How could he not have picked up on what she was about to do?
She must have gasped as this last thought occurred to her, judging by the abrupt change of expression on Mark’s face. It had at least returned to a more human look, albeit one of horror and bewilderment.
‘Hang on,’ he said, lowering his voice as she threw him another warning glance. ‘You’re saying she killed herself? That she jumped in front of a train – this morning? I don’t. I can’t. What time was it?’
‘I don’t know, Mark. Why? Because she dropped you off at the train station. That’s what you said, right?’
‘Yes. Exactly. Oh my God!’ His mouth hung open, like it had run out of words to say. Hannah considered asking him further about this. But a sudden, jarring knock at the bedroom door focused her mind on more pressing matters – namely, how to break the devastating news to her niece.
‘Hello?’ Mia’s voice called from the other side. ‘Is everything okay in there?’
Hannah and Mark threw each other a rabbit-in-the-headlights look and then both turned back to the door. Hannah was terrified it would open and she’d be face to face with her niece yet utterly unprepared what to say. Thankfully, Mark responded in time to stop this.
‘Could you give us a minute, please, Mia?’ he said, somehow managing to sound composed. ‘We’ll be out soon. I promise.’
‘Is Hannah all right?’ the teenager’s little voice asked, breaking her heart. Too choked up to reply, Hannah begged Mark with her eyes to say something.
‘She’s, um, in our bathroom,’ he lied, wincing and shrugging by way of apology for not coming up with anything better. ‘We’ll explain everything very soon, I promise.’
‘Okay, if you’re sure.’
Neither of them said a word as they listened to Mia’s footsteps walking away from the door.
Eventually, Hannah turned back to her husband. ‘Do you think she heard anything?’
He shook his head.
‘I hope not. That would be the worst thing of all.’
‘Don’t worry. But we are going to have to tell her. Do you want to do it or—’
‘I was thinking maybe we could do it together.’ Hannah’s heart was thumping its way out of her chest. She felt breathless. ‘What do you reckon?’
Mark gave a solemn nod. ‘Okay, but you know more details about it than I do. So …’ He stopped speaking for a few beats; his eyes looked ready to burst as he circled his lips into a small O shape and slowly exhaled. ‘Sorry. I’m struggling to get my head around this. I was with her only hours ago. I can’t comprehend the fact she’s gone. And to do it in such a way. Bloody hell!’
‘Did she give any indication—’
‘Let’s not do this now, Hannah. It’s not the time. We need to break the news to Mia fast before she finds out some other way. Imagine if she comes across a news article online or someone calls her about it on her mobile.’
Hannah’s jaw dropped. She hadn’t even considered this possibility. ‘You’re right. Let’s do it immediately.’