Today you learn to break the habit of judgment and self-criticism, and to go beyond the need to put yourself down.
Look in your mirror today and take a few moments to congratulate yourself! You are beginning to love and approve of yourself—or at least to be willing to do so. Wherever you are in the process, celebrate the progress you have made so far. I celebrate you and your commitment to your mirror work.
The more mirror work you do, the more aware of your self-talk you become. If I asked you to play a tape of your inner dialogue today, what would it sound like? Would you be listening to negative affirmations like I am so stupid. I’m such a klutz. Nobody asks me what I think. Why are there so many inconsiderate people? Is your inner voice constantly picking, picking, picking at everything? Are you seeing the world through critical eyes? Do you judge everything? Do you stand in self-righteousness?
So many of us have such a strong habit of judgment and criticism that we cannot easily break it. I used to be a constant complainer, full of self-pity. I loved to wallow in the pits. I didn’t know that I was perpetuating situations in which to pity myself. I didn’t know any better in those days.
It is so important to do your mirror work, because it makes you acutely aware of judgments and negative self-talk and allows you to release your inner critic as soon as you can. You will never be able to love yourself until you go beyond the need to put yourself down and make life wrong.
As a little baby, you were so open to life. You looked at the world with eyes of wonder. Unless something was scary or someone harmed you, you accepted life just as it was. Later, as you grew up, you began to accept the opinions of others and make them your own. You learned how to criticize.
What helped me eventually was that I started to listen to what I was saying. I became aware of my inner critic, and I worked to stop my self-criticism. I began to say positive affirmations in front of my mirror without quite knowing what they meant. I just kept saying them over and over again. I started with the easy ones: I love myself. I approve of myself. Then I graduated to these: My opinions are valued. I release the need to criticize myself. I release the need to criticize others.
After a while I started noticing that positive changes were beginning to take place. When you work on releasing your inner critic, you, too, will begin to notice changes. I believe that criticism shrivels our spirits. It reinforces the belief I am not good enough. It certainly doesn’t bring out the best in us. But when you release the inner critic, you get in touch with your higher self.
So let’s check: Are you learning to play a tape of positive affirmations in your mind? Are you paying attention to your thoughts and replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations?
By doing mirror work, you will become more aware of your inner voice and what you say to yourself. Then you’ll be able to release the need to pick on yourself all the time. And when you do, you will notice that you no longer criticize others so much.
When you make it okay to be yourself, then you automatically allow others to be themselves. Their little habits no longer bother you as much. You release the need to change others as you want them to be. Then, as you stop judging others, they release the need to judge you. Everybody gets to be free.
Our feelings are thoughts in action. There is no need to feel any guilt or shame about them. They serve a purpose, and when you release negative thoughts from your mind and body, you allow space inside for other, more positive feelings and experiences.
Let’s affirm: It is now safe for me to release my inner critic and move into love.
Your Day 6 Mirror Work Exercise
The Power Is Within You: Your Day 6 Journaling Exercise
Your Heart Thought for Day 6: I Love and Accept Myself Exactly as I Am
We all have areas of our lives that we think are unacceptable and unlovable. If we are really angry with parts of ourselves, we often engage in self-abuse. We abuse alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes. We overeat. We beat ourselves up emotionally. One of the worst things we do, which causes more damage than anything else, is criticize ourselves. We need to stop all criticism. Once we get into the habit of not criticizing ourselves, it is amazing how we stop criticizing other people. We realize that everyone is a reflection of us, and what we see in another person we can see in ourselves.
When we complain about someone, we are really complaining about ourselves. When we can truly love and accept who we are, there is nothing to complain about. We cannot hurt ourselves, and we cannot hurt another person. Let’s make a vow that we will no longer criticize ourselves for anything.
Your Day 6 Meditation: We Are Free to Be Ourselves
(Day 6 of the audio download)
In order to be whole, we must accept all of ourselves. So let your heart open, and make plenty of room in there for all parts of yourself: the parts you are proud of, the parts that embarrass you, the parts you reject, and the parts you love. They are all you. You’re beautiful. We all are. When your heart is full of love for yourself, then you have so much to share with others.
Let this love now fill your room and radiate out to all the people you know. Mentally put the people you care about in the center of your room, so that they can receive the love from your overflowing heart.
Now see the child in each of these people dancing as children dance, skipping and shouting and turning somersaults and cartwheels, filled with exuberant joy, expressing all the best of the child within. And let your inner child go and play with the other children. Let your child dance. Let your child feel safe and free. Let your child be all that it ever wanted to be.
You are perfect, whole, and complete, and all is well in your wonderful world. And so it is.