DAY 8

Loving Your Inner Child—Part One

Today you look beyond the adult you see in the mirror and meet your inner child.

This is a very important day in your mirror work. Take my hand, and let’s walk over to your mirror. Look deeply into your eyes. Look beyond the adult you see in your mirror and greet your inner child.

It doesn’t matter how old you are; there is a little child within you who needs love and acceptance. If you are a woman, no matter how self-reliant you are, you have a little girl inside who is very tender and needs help. If you are a man, no matter how self-confident you are, you have a little boy inside of you who craves warmth and affection.

When you look in the mirror, do you see your inner child? Is this child happy? What is this child trying to tell you?

Every age you have been is within you—in your consciousness and your memory. As a child, when something went wrong, you tended to believe that there was something wrong with you. Children develop the idea that if only they could do everything right, then their parents would love them and wouldn’t punish them.

Often we turn off or tune out around the age of five. We make that decision because we think there is something wrong with us, and we’re not going to have anything to do with this child anymore.

There is a parent inside of us as well. And for most of us, this inner parent is scolding the inner child almost nonstop. If you listen to your inner dialogue, you can hear the scolding. You can hear the parent tell you what you are doing wrong or that you are not good enough.

So way back in childhood we began a war with ourselves and started criticizing ourselves the way our parents criticized us: You’re stupid. You’re not good enough. You don’t do anything right. This constant criticism became a habit. Now, as adults, most of us either totally ignore the child within us or belittle the child in the same way we were belittled in the past. We repeat this pattern over and over.

Every time you feel scared, realize that it is the child within you who is scared. The adult isn’t afraid, yet it has disconnected and isn’t there for the child. The adult and the child need to develop a relationship with each other.

How do you connect with your inner child? The first step is getting to know the child through your mirror work. Who is this child? Why is this child unhappy? What can you do to help this child feel safe and secure and loved?

Talk to your inner child about everything you do. I know it may sound silly, but it works. Let your inner child know that no matter what happens, you will never turn away from it or leave it but will always be there for it and love it.

All your inner child really wants is to be noticed, to feel safe, and to be loved. If you can take just a few moments a day to begin to connect with the little person inside of you, life is going to be a lot better.

Let’s affirm: I am willing to love and accept my inner child.

Your Day 8 Mirror Work Exercise

1. Find a photo of yourself when you were about five years old. Tape the photo to your bathroom mirror.
2. Look at the photo for a few minutes. What do you see? Do you see a happy child? A miserable child?
3. Talk to your inner child in the mirror. You can look at the photo or even look into your own eyes—whichever feels more comfortable for you. If you had a nickname as a child, use this name as you speak to your inner child. What works really well is to sit in front of the mirror, because if you are standing, as soon as difficult feelings start to come up, you might be tempted to run out the door. So sit down, grab a box of tissues, and start talking.
4. Open your heart and share your innermost thoughts.
5. When you are finished, say these affirmations: I love you, dear one. I am here for you. You are safe.

The Power Is Within You: Your Day 8 Journaling Exercise

1. For this exercise, you will need crayons, colored pencils, or colored felt-tip pens.
2. Using your nondominant hand—the one you don’t write with—draw a picture of yourself as a child. Be creative!
3. Tape the drawing to your bathroom mirror.
4. Look at the picture and begin talking to your inner child.
5. Ask your child the following questions and write down the answers in your journal: What do you like? What do you dislike? What frightens you? What do you need? What can I do to make you happy?
6. Close your eyes and take a few minutes to reflect on what you’ve learned about your inner child.

Your Heart Thought for Day 8: I Embrace My Inner Child with Love

Take care of your inner child. It is the child who is frightened. It is the child who is hurting. It is the child who does not know what to do.

Be there for your child. Embrace it and love it and do whatever you can to take care of its needs. Be sure to let your child know that no matter what happens, you will always be there for it. You will never turn away or desert it. You will always love this child.

Your Day 8 Meditation: Let Go and Relax
(Day 8 of the audio download)

Take a nice, deep breath and close your eyes. Take another deep breath and allow your body to completely relax. Let your attention move to your toes and allow them to go completely limp. Now relax your insteps, your heels, and your ankles. Let your feet become heavy. Allow this relaxation to move up your calves and into your knees. Continue to move this warmth and relaxation into your thighs, feeling them become heavier.

Now let your hips and your buttocks relax. Allow your waistline to release and then feel the peacefulness move up into your chest, expanding through your collarbone and into your shoulders. Allow your upper arms to let go. Let your elbows relax. Let your lower arms, wrists, and hands relax. Let the last of the tension move out through your fingertips. Let your neck relax, and then your jaw, your cheeks, and all the muscles around your eyes. Let your forehead and scalp relax. Let go, let go, let go. Relax.