DAY 9

Loving Your Inner Child—Part Two

Today you use mirror work to forgive the past and begin to love the beautiful child within.

How are you and your inner child doing today? Are you getting to know each other a little better? I have found that working with the inner child is extremely valuable in helping to heal the hurts of the past. We are not always in touch with the feelings of the frightened little child within us.

If your childhood was full of fear and physical or verbal battles, you may have a habit of mentally beating yourself up. When you do this, you are continuing to treat your inner child in much the same way. The child inside, however, has no place to go.

Many of us have an inner child who is lost and lonely and feels rejected. Perhaps the only contact we have had with our inner child for a long time is to scold and criticize it. Then we wonder why we are unhappy. We cannot reject a part of ourselves and still be in harmony within.

Today, let’s use our mirror work to move beyond our parents’ limitations and connect with the little lost child inside. Let’s forgive the past and begin to love this beautiful child within. This child needs to know that we care.

Most of us have buried many feelings and hurts from the past. Learning to love your inner child is going to take time. Take all the time you need. Return to these exercises again and again. You will get there, I promise.

Your inner child still carries the beliefs you developed early on. If your parents had rigid ideas and you are now very hard on yourself or you tend to build walls around you, your inner child is probably still following your parents’ rules. If you continue to pick on yourself for every mistake, it must be very scary for your inner child to wake up in the morning thinking, What is my parent going to yell at me about today?

What our parents did to us in the past was a product of their consciousness. We are the parents now. We are using our consciousness now. If you are still refusing to take care of your inner child, you are stuck in your own resentment. Invariably that means there is someone you still need to forgive. What resentment do you need to let go of? What haven’t you forgiven yourself for?

For now, visualize that you are taking your inner child by the hand and going everywhere together for a few days. See what joyous experiences you can have. This may sound silly, but please try it. It really works. Create a wonderful life for yourself and your inner child. The Universe will respond, and you will find ways to heal your inner child and the adult you.

No matter what your early childhood was like—happy or sad—you and only you are in charge of your life now. You can spend your time blaming your parents, or you can embrace love.

Love is the biggest eraser I know. It erases even the deepest and most painful memories, because love goes deeper than anything else. Think for a moment: Do you want a life of pain or one of joy? The choice and power are always within you. Look into your eyes, and love yourself and the little child within.

Let’s affirm: I love my inner child. I am in charge of my life now.

Your Day 9 Mirror Work Exercise

1. Go to your bathroom mirror and look at the picture of yourself as a child that you taped to it yesterday.
2. Take a moment right now and tell your inner child that you care. Say these affirmations: I care about you. I love you. I really love you.
3. Sit in front of your mirror, if you can, or sit and look into a handheld mirror. Continue the conversation with your inner child that you began yesterday. You could open with an apology, saying something like I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you over the years. I’m sorry I scolded you for so long. I want to make up for all the time we spent apart from each other.
4. If you haven’t talked to your inner child in 50 or 60 years, it may take some time before you feel like you’re reconnecting. But be persistent. Eventually you will make a connection. You may feel the child inside you. You may hear the child inside you. You may even see the child inside you.
5. Keep your tissue box nearby. It’s okay to cry while you are talking to your inner child. Tears will help you to break through and connect with the child inside you.

The Power Is Within You: Your Day 9 Journaling Exercise

1. When you were little, what did you really like to do? Write down everything that comes to mind. When was the last time you did any of these things? Too often, the parent inside us will stop us from having fun because it’s not the adult thing to do.
2. Now put down your journal and go outside and play with your little child. Have fun! Do the silly things you loved to do when you were young, like jumping in a pile of leaves or running under the garden sprinkler. Watch other children at play. It will bring back memories of the games you enjoyed. If you want more fun in your life, make the connection with your inner child and come from that space of spontaneity. I promise that you will start having more fun.

Your Heart Thought for Day 9: I Am Willing to Change and Grow

You are willing to learn new things because you do not know it all. You are willing to drop old concepts when they no longer work for you. You are willing to see your behavior and say, “I don’t want to do that anymore.” You know you can become more of who you are. Not become a better person—that would imply that you are not good enough, which isn’t true—but more of who you really are.

Growing and changing is exciting, even if you have to look at some painful things within yourself in order to do so.

Your Day 9 Meditation: Loving the Inner Child
(Day 9 of the audio download)

Go back in time. See yourself as a little child of five. Hold out your arms to this child and say, “I am your future, and I have come to love you.” Embrace this child lovingly, and then bring it with you to the present time. See the two of you standing at a mirror, looking at each other lovingly. And as you stand there, become aware that there are so many parts of you that are missing.

Now go back in time even further, to the very moment you were born. You’ve just come down the birth canal. It may have been a difficult trip. You feel the cold air and see the bright lights, and someone may have just smacked you. You have arrived! You are here to live a whole lifetime. Love that little tiny baby. Love that baby!

Now move forward in time to the moment when you began to walk. You would stand up and fall down, stand up and fall down, and stand up and fall down. And then suddenly you were standing, and you took a step and another step, and you were walking! You were so proud of yourself. Love that little child. Love that child!

Then move forward in time to your first day at school. You didn’t want to leave your mother, but you did. You took your first steps over the threshold of your school. You were scared, but you did it. You were doing the very best you could. Love that child. Love that child!

Then remember your life around the age of ten and everything that was going on then. It may have been wonderful; it may have been difficult. You were doing the very best you could to survive, and you made it. Love that child. Just love that child!

Now go forward to the time you were entering puberty and remember all that was going on. It was exciting and scary and maybe more than you could handle, but you got through it. You did the best you could, and you made it. So love that teenager. Love that teenager!

Go to the time of your first job and how exciting it was to earn money. You wanted so badly to make a good impression, and there was so much to learn. But you did the best you could and you succeeded. Love that person. Just love that person!

Remember the first time you were rejected in love and how much your heart hurt. You were sure no one would ever love you again. You were in such pain. You did the best you could, and you made it. Love that person. Love that person!

Then go to another milestone in your life. It might have been embarrassing or painful or wonderful. Whatever it was, you were doing the best you could at that time, with the understanding, knowledge, and awareness that you had then. So love that person. Love that person!

Now gather all the many parts of yourself and bring them forward to the present. See yourself standing in front of the mirror with all of your selves and realize that you are looking at the richness and fullness of your life. Of course, there were difficult times and painful times and embarrassing times and times of confusion. And that’s all right. That’s all part of life. Love all of yourself.

Now turn around. And as you look ahead, see a person standing before you with arms outstretched, saying, “I am your future, and I have come to love you.” Life is an endless opportunity to love yourself—past, present, and future. Loving and accepting every part of yourself is healing. How can you possibly be whole or healed if you are rejecting any part of yourself? Healing is to make yourself whole again. Love yourself, every part of yourself, and be whole. All is well. And so it is.