There has been some kind of breakthrough here. I’m not sure what. I do know that I was really down; in the pits. Some of it had to do with the campaign. Some of it had to do with the deafening silence from various editors in the New York region. But it’s really a more generalized feeling of being at loose ends. Of not having any direction right through here. Of not going anyplace. Of is this what the rest of my life is gonna be like? That kind of thing. Seemed to break through it last night. Wrote two good columns and just felt like writing was the thing. Not finishing the piece or getting done and moving on, but trying to make the writing different. Trying to play with it a little. Trying to take it somewhere else. Got stoned and played with the words a bit. And liked it. Enjoyed it. Anyhow, thought a lot about relaxing. Saying what you want. Doing what you want. Dressing weird. Whatever it takes. Conceiving of yourself as an artist and trying to stay on that wavelength. Trying to lean all up against the weirdness and nestle in. Hunker down. I am fascinated now with punctuation. Periods. Having words alone as sentences. Single word sentences. I hope the Gazette will let me stretch out just a little. I believe in magic, yes, indeed I do.