Raining outside and Gil Scott-Heron on my record player and somewhere in town Mick Jagger is tying his sash and shaking his ass and getting ready. I feel like I need a change. A boost. A nudge. I am avoiding the play like the plague. What is the deal there? Scared of finishing? I don’t know. But I need/want to finish it and soon I think I will. I have about run out of excuses not to. And it is raining. I love Gil Scott-Heron. I think about that Conrad Aiken poem Ma likes about Senlin standing before the mirror and tying his tie. The whole universe is swirling around him and he stands before the mirror and ties his tie.
I stop to unplug my phone. Is this journal stuff writing? Real writing?
Relax. Rest. Writing when you can. It’s about LIVING, not writing. Remember that! It’s about LIVING, NOT WRITING!! WRITING IS A PART OF LIVING. LIVING IS NOT A PART OF WRITING. IS THAT A RATIONALIZATION OR A BREAKTHROUGH?
IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?