Ladies and gentlemen, friends, neighbors, and out-of-town guests… since the dawn of time, zombies have captivated the imaginations of sick individuals all over the globe. From the voodoo rituals of Zambowi Island to the classic zombie movies like Night of the Brain Munchers and Benji Conquers the Zombies.
But there is one more zombie tale to be told. A tale so horrifying that your spine will tingle, your toes will curl up in their socks, and your nose hairs will wiggle uncontrollably. This is the story of Grampa’s Zombie BBQ!
We begin our story with a scene from the classic zombie film Fried Spleen & Tomatoes.
No, wait! That’s just Vera, the Gingham County Elementary School lunch lady, dishing up some of her world-famous* Bulgarian sausage and sourcrowt goulash. (*World famous for causing uncontrollable upchucking, that is.)
That’s me, Wiley, about to dig into some seriously stinky cuisine. And that guy next to me is Jubal, my best friend in all of Gingham County—besides Grampa, of course.
“This cafeteria should be declared a federal disaster area,” I said, staring at my plate of pulsating slop.
“And Vera should be brought to justice for crimes against humanity,” added Jubal.
Some folks say she performs voodoo rituals on her three bean and cabbage chili!
Others say she uses genuine skunk meat in her spicy Indonesian wontons!
And noted physicians say that her kidney bean and oatmeal pasta with BBQ sauce is not carb friendly!
