Culture & Customs
It is easy to love Thailand: the pace of life is unhurried and the people are friendly and kind-hearted. A smile is a universal key in most social situations, a cheerful disposition will be met in kind, and friendships are spontaneous requiring little more than curiosity and humour. Though Thais don’t expect foreigners to know much about their country, they are delighted and grateful if they do.
The Monarchy
Thailand expresses deep reverence for its monarchy. Pictures of the king – both present and former – are enshrined in nearly every household and business, and life-size billboards of the monarchs line Th Ratchadamnoen Klang, Bangkok’s royal avenue. The previous king’s image, which is printed on money, is regarded as sacred, and criticising the king or the monarchy is a criminal offence. The monarchy’s relationship to the people is intertwined with religion; it is deeply spiritual and personal. Most Thais view their king with great reverence, as an exalted father figure (the previous king’s birthday is recognised as national Father’s Day) and as a protector of the good of the country.
Dos & Don’ts
oAlways stand for the royal and national anthems.
oDon’t show anger or frustration in public.
oRemove shoes before entering homes or temples; step over the threshold.
oKeep your feet off furniture.
oIn temples, sit in the ‘mermaid’ position (with your feet tucked behind you).
oPass and receive things with your right hand.
oUse your spoon like a fork and fork like a knife.
The National Psyche
In most social situations, establishing harmony is often a priority and Thais take personal pride in making others feel at ease.
Sà·nùk
Thais place a high value on having sà·nùk (fun). It is the underlying measure of a worthwhile activity and the reason why the country ranks so highly as a tourist destination. Thais are always up for a party, be it of their own invention or an import. Case in point: Thais celebrate three new years – the eve of the resetting of the international calendar, the Chinese lunar New Year and Songkran (the Southeast Asian Buddhist new year).
This doesn’t mean that Thais are averse to work. Most offices are typically open six, and sometimes seven, days a week, and most Thais have side jobs to provide extra income. But every chore has a social aspect that lightens the mood and keeps it from being too ‘serious’ (a grave insult). Whether it’s the backbreaking work of rice farming, the tedium of long-distance bus driving or the dangers of a construction site, Thais often mix their work tasks with socialising.
Thais in the tourism industry extend this attitude towards their guests and will often describe foreign visitors as needing a rest after a year of hard work. This cultural mindset reflects the agricultural calendar in which a farmer works from dawn to dusk during the rice-planting and harvesting season then rests until the next year’s rains. That rest period involves a lot of hanging out, going to festivals and funerals (which are more party than pity) and loading up family and friends into the back of a pick-up truck for a têe·o (trip).
Status
Though Thai culture is famously non-confrontational and fun-loving, it isn’t a social free-for-all. Thais are very conscious of status and the implicit rights and responsibilities. Buddhism defines the social strata, with the heads of the family, religion and monarchy sitting at the top of various tiers. Gauging where you fit into this system is a convenient ice-breaker. Thais will often ask a laundry list of questions: where are you from, how old are you, are you married, do you have children? They are sizing you up in the social strata.
In most cases, you’ll get the best of both worlds: Thais will care for you as if you are a child and honour you as if you are a pôo yài (literally ‘big person’, or elder). When sharing a meal, don’t be surprised if a Thai host puts the tastiest piece of fish on your plate.
Thais regard each other as part of an extended family and will use familial prefixes such as pêe (elder sibling) and nórng (younger sibling) when addressing friends as well as blood relations. When translated into English, this often leads foreigners to think that their Thai friends have large immediate families. Thais might also use Þâh (aunt) or lung (uncle) to refer to an older person. Rarely do foreigners get embraced in this grand family reunion; fa·ràng is the catch-all term for foreigner. It is mostly descriptive but can sometimes express cultural frustrations.
Saving Face
Interconnected with status is the concept of ‘saving face’, a common consideration in Asian cultures. In a nutshell, ‘face’ means you strive for social harmony by avoiding firm or confrontational opinions and displays of anger. Thais regard outbursts of emotion and discourteous social interactions as shameful, whereas Westerners might shrug them off.
Social Conventions & Etiquette
Thais are generally tolerant of most social faux pas as they assume that foreign visitors know very little about their culture. Their graciousness should be returned with a concerted effort of respect.
Greetings
The traditional Thai greeting is with a prayer-like palms-together gesture known as a wâi. If someone shows you a wâi, you should return the gesture, unless the greeting comes from a child or a service person. A wâi can also express gratitude or an apology. Foreigners are continually baffled by when and how to use the wâi and such cultural confusion makes great conversation fodder. The all-purpose greeting is a cheery ‘sà·wàt·dee kráp’ if you’re male or ‘sà·wàt·dee kâ’ if you’re female. A smile usually accompanies this and goes a long way to diffuse a tense social situation. Also, Thais are great connoisseurs of beauty and a smile improves one’s countenance.
Visiting Temples
When visiting a temple, it is important to dress modestly (cover yourself to the elbows and the ankles) and to take your shoes off when you enter any building that contains a Buddha image. Buddha images are sacred objects, so don’t pose in front of them for pictures and definitely do not clamber on them. When visiting a religious building, act like a worshipper by finding a discreet place to sit in the ‘mermaid’ position (with your feet tucked behind you so that they point away from the Buddha images). Temples are maintained from the donations received and contributions from visitors are appreciated.
Touching
In the traditional parts of the country, it is not proper for members of the opposite sex to touch one another. Same-sex touching is quite common and is typically a sign of friendship, not sexual attraction. Older Thai men might grab a younger man’s thigh in the same way that buddies slap each other on the back. Thai women are especially affectionate, often sitting close to female friends or linking arms. Women should not touch monks or their belongings; they should not sit next to them on public transport or accidentally brush against them on the street.