HOPE MIXED WITH fear swells and dies in my stomach. I’m still in the room, still pacing, still waiting. Time moves, but it’s slow and painful. Each time I open the door, Pavel is there. He doesn’t tell me to go back in, but I slam the door before returning to my pacing. I can’t fight the surge of hope that I know is dangerous.
I stop pacing as the door opens. My heart rate climbs to a frightening height before it drops as Pavel fills the doorway.
“You can leave the room, Evie.” Is that pity I hear in his voice?
“Is Lucca back?” I ask as tears brim my eyes.
“Not yet. It could be a while.”
“I’ll wait here.” I place my hands behind my back.
His gaze shifts to the hallway before he turns to me and nods. As he reaches for the door handle, I let my hands hang at my side.
“Don’t close the door.” Right now, I don’t want to be alone.
His lip tugs up ever so slightly, and he releases the handle before turning his back on me.
It seems like I have been waiting for an eternity before lights hit the window, and I race to it. A car pulls up at the door, and the passenger door opens. Lucca steps out, and I don’t know how he knows I’m looking, but his dark gaze clashes with mine. My skin prickles before it tightens and stretches, and I take a step away from the window.
My hand automatically goes to my heart, trying to calm the heavy beat that rattles my ribs.
“He’s back,” I say out loud. Pavel doesn’t answer, but I see the slight nod of his head. The front door closes, and I’m waiting for the sound of Lucca’s shoes on the stairs.
My patience dries up as I wait, and I’m moving toward the door. I’m ready to tell Pavel to move when a shadow falls across the floor and Lucca waves Pavel off. I’m face-to-face with Lucca. My gaze is making a note of the dots of blood on his neck and the cuffs of his shirt.
He doesn’t move or speak.
“Did you find them?”
“I know where they are. Tomorrow I will get them.”
Tomorrow. Why not now? “They are all alive?” I ask instead.
Lucca exhales and enters the room. “Yes.”
I bite my lip to stop the tremble caused by emotions that overwhelm me.
Lucca’s image blurs, and I dip my head, trying to hold back the swell that’s ready to overtake me.
“Lucca.” His name is a whisper as I fight with myself to ask him another question. “Can I go with you tomorrow?”
He’s already shaking his head.
I step closer. “Just let me see them. Let me see that they’re okay.”
“No.” His answer is sharp as he removes his suit jacket.
“Lucca. I was going to leave them. I was trying to escape that life, and I was willing to leave them all behind.” The pain of what I was capable of doing twists my stomach painfully. “I need to make it right.”
“You did nothing wrong.” Lucca swings around and faces me. “You were right to leave. I just wish…”
The air stalls in my chest.
Lucca reaches out to me like he’s going to cup my face, but he stops himself, his hands falling to his sides. He towers over me. “I wish you had gotten away, Evie. Don’t ever regret trying to save yourself.” His voice has softened.
“Let me come with you. Let me see them…”
He’s shaking his head again.
I ball my hands into fists. “Why?”
“I won’t put you in harm’s way.” His words are quick and low; there is something deadly in them, and my stomach twists again.
Laughter bubbles hard and fast up my throat and pours out into the room. “Harm’s way?” I say through my laughter.
“I’ve been kidnapped, held captive for eight years, and now what will happen to me? Am I going to a brothel or maybe to my death?” I’m caving with pure pain. “What more harm can come to me?”
What more can they take from me?
Lucca doesn’t answer, and I take another step toward him. “I’m a ghost. I have nothing else for them to take.” I gave the last piece to you.
“You can shout all you want. You aren’t coming with me.” His voice is calm, and I hate him for it. I hate everything about him. Powerful men are dangerous men, and I hate them.
I hate him.
My hand connects with his face, the sting on my palm is satisfying, and I reach out to hit him again, only I don’t get to. His hands grip my wrists as he drags me to his chest.
“Stop it, Evie.”
I try to pull away, but he doesn’t release me. Silver eyes bore into mine, warning me to stop. But it’s too late for that.
“Let me go.” I’m not sure if I’m asking for him to release me right now or let me go home.
“If you can control your temper, I will release you.”
“We aren’t all as cool and collected as you,” I bite back, not backing down from him. I should think about what happened between us the last time, but I know I pushed him to do it. That fear rattles around in my head.
His nostrils flare, and he releases me quickly. He doesn’t step away, and the want to slap him is gone.
“Am I going back to Igor?” I keep my chin in the air.
“No.”
I didn’t expect that. “What’s going to happen to me?”
“I don’t know.” This time Lucca doesn’t meet my eyes.
“Just tell me. You’re getting off on keeping me in the dark.”
Lucca’s gaze swings back to me. He’s looking at me differently. He cups my face, his touch gentle, and it disarms something inside me. I don’t want his touch to have such power. I lean into his hand.
“I’m keeping you.” His words are low as he moves his head closer to mine. His gaze roams my face as his words sink in.
His thumb caresses my cheek. His touch reaches beyond the surface of my flesh, and my heart is like a sponge that soaks it up. My eyelids flutter closed as I allow his words to sink in.
“You are keeping me?” I open my eyes. I need to see the words on his lips, which are close to mine.
My heart starts to pound with a mixture of emotions, and I can’t focus on one; there are too many.
“Yes.” Silver eyes speak as loudly as his words do.
So that means no brothel. I’m not being sold. My heart doesn’t sing or fly like all the butterflies I had set free. I imagined this moment differently.
I know why I’m not free. This isn’t a choice.
Lucca licks his lips, and my focus zones in on the movement. “Do I have a choice?”
His lip tugs up slightly. “Would you rather go to Igor?”
My focus leaves his lips. His hand still cups my cheek. His thumb is still moving back and forth. I’m not sure if he’s aware of what he’s doing.
“No.” It’s a whisper.
“Good.” His word has him moving closer, and he claims my lips. My stomach twists with fear while my heart expands with a want for Lucca I can’t explain. My mouth moves against his, and his hand glides down to my neck and further until his hand grazes my breasts. I open my eyes to find him looking at me too. Our kisses slow until they halt completely.
“I can take care of you.” Lucca’s hands rest on my waist, his touch as heavy as chains I’m not sure I want to break.
“I can take care of myself.”
He nods. “I know you can. But let me take care of you.”
Conflicting emotions race through me. I’m drawn to Lucca, and being here with him is better than the alternative, but I can’t release the iron-clad grip I have on hope.
I know it’s a golden thread that a pair of scissors hovers over, but maybe, just maybe, I could see home again.
My eyelids flutter closed with the pain of not seeing my parents again.
“Will you let me, Evie?”
The question has me looking up at Lucca. If I say no, what would happen?
I nod, afraid my voice would betray me. Lucca smiles, and it lights up his silver eyes. My stomach tightens for a completely different reason this time. When his lips find mine, the kiss is soft and all-consuming, like a memory. I allow myself to get lost in this soft touch. This is new to me.
His long fingers flutter along my flesh, like an artist or a musician who is creating something amazing.
His touch gives me power, and I deepen the kiss. I taste the lust on his tongue, yet his movements are gentle. Even as he unbuttons my dress, he undoes one button at a time, slowly and carefully.
The cold air presses against my naked flesh as the dress falls to the floor.
Lucca steps away from me before reaching back in and picking me up. My arms instantly wrap around his neck as he carries me to the bed and places me in the center. Everything he’s doing is gentle, and as I lie down, each kiss he presses to my flesh gets absorbed like light to the darkness inside me. I want to ask him what he’s doing as he picks up my hand, raising my arm slightly in the air. He leaves a trail of kisses up my arm that causes all the hairs to rise. He stops at my neck and leans over me.
His silver gaze roams my face. My breaths are harsh as my heart pounds rapidly. Each touch, each kiss, feels like an apology. Lucca moves down the bed until he’s in between my legs. His fingers run along the inside of my thighs, and he parts my legs.
I’m staring at him, waiting for him to remove his clothes, but he doesn’t. His head dips, and I gasp as he presses a kiss against my entrance. Each kiss has me falling away from the pain and closer to the pleasure as he runs his tongue along my clit before entering me. My hands leave the quilt and sink into his thick black hair.
He presses his tongue deeper inside me, forcing my back to arch as my body sings with the pleasure pumping through me. The ache that’s constantly between my legs fades the more he licks and sucks me. My mind jumps to why the ache is there, and I freeze for a moment. One of his hands touches my stomach gently, and it quiets the anger in me, and I refocus on the pleasure I’m feeling.
Lucca’s tongue does all the work inside me as his fingers work on my clit. A groan slips from my lips, and I glance down. Seeing Lucca between my legs has my orgasm coming quickly. I come hard and fast and cry out as I sink my fingers deeper into his hair. My body jerks and spasms as I release myself onto Lucca’s tongue. Once my body stops jerking, Lucca licks a few more times before coming up.
His chin and lips are coated with my juices, and he grins at me. I’m still struggling to breathe as he wipes his face with the edge of his shirt.
I lie back and close my eyes as my body slowly returns to some semblance of itself.
“I meant it, Evie. I can take care of you.”
His gaze carries a vulnerability like he’s the one lying on the bed naked with his legs sprawled. I sit up, pulling my legs closer to my body.
“I know.” My answer doesn’t seem to satisfy him, and he moves back to the edge of the bed and sits down.
I hold still and don’t drag my legs closer to me like I want to.
His gaze bores into mine. “What is it that you want?”
I want to go home.
I don’t answer him because my tongue feels too heavy in my mouth right now.
“Anything you want, I can get it for you.”
“Like what?” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. I hate how much emotion is in my voice, but Lucca seems happy with me speaking.
“Anything. Clothes, a car…”
“A car? Where would I go?”
“We could go anywhere you want.” He smiles at me.
We? Meaning I can’t go by myself.
The door to the bedroom opens a fraction; it’s not enough to see us but enough to let Nicolai speak.
“Lucca, a moment.”
Lucca gets off the bed. “Have a think about it.” He tells me before leaning in and placing a kiss on my knee.
I don’t look away as he leaves the room, and when the door closes, I let my chin rest on my knee as I try to picture a life here with Lucca. With the Lucca who just touched me like I was precious. For that reason, staying with Lucca doesn’t seem so scary.