IT’S BEEN TWO months since Lucca rescued all the girls. Having them all around me in such a different environment had been amazing. I saw each of them in a different light. We were all free, and it didn’t take us long to dream big. We could do anything with our lives—well, they could. Lucca had arranged for each of them to return to their home countries. Each of them would have a fresh start, and they could do whatever they wanted.
Me, not so much. Lucca said I would stay with him. I could settle for a life with him once I keep that small bubble of hope of seeing my home again hidden.
I couldn’t let it go completely, yet I knew I should. I’m alone again. Leah was the last to leave, and having the time with her made me miss her even more. We all said we would stay in touch. Each girl, before leaving, had hugged Lucca, who was so uncomfortable it added some humor to a sad situation.
Once everyone had left, we returned to Lucca’s penthouse. Being here under different circumstances made me see his home differently. Everything in me is changing, but I still don’t feel completely at peace. Maybe I never would.
I turn away from the sheets of glass that allow me to look down on the city.
“You’re up early.”
Lucca enters the living space, and my stomach tightens. My hold tightens on my mug. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to looking at him. He’s in black, his favorite color. He’s freshly showered, and when he leans in, the smell of his cologne consumes me. He places a kiss on my lips, but a kiss from Lucca is never enough. It never satisfies the want I always have for him. He moves away and goes into the kitchen space.
“I thought I should pack for our trip.” I sip the coffee again while I watch him move around the kitchen, pouring himself a coffee.
“All you have to do is get dressed. Your bags are already packed.”
I raise a brow, and my stomach squirms when Lucca grins at me. His perfect lips rise slightly, and I try to hide how much it affects me. When his grin turns into a smile, my efforts of hiding anything from him are destroyed.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I sound like a parrot and know he won’t answer.
“Go get dressed.” His smile slips, and his silver gaze holds wisdom that I can’t understand.
“What kind of clothes did you pack?” Maybe that would tell me where we’re going.
Lucca drinks his coffee without answering.
“Fine.” I hate surprises. For me, they’re never a good thing, but I’m trying to rebuild a life, one that I have to accept will come with surprises that aren’t bad.
I have no idea where we’re going, so I dress in denim jeans and a pair of sneakers. I match it with a white T-shirt and a navy blazer. It’s comfortable but smart.
“No suitcases?” I ask, staring at Lucca’s empty hands.
“They’re already in the car.”
Lucca is quiet the whole time we’re in the elevator. I know there’s no point asking where we’re going because he won’t answer, but his silence isn’t reassuring.
We step out into the lobby. All eyes are drawn to Lucca. Several of his security team are fanned out around the lobby, but they don’t follow as we make our way to the car. Pavel is waiting and holds the door open for me. I’m watching him for any signs of fear or excitement, but he refuses to meet my eye. I climb in, and Lucca follows.
“Don’t look so terrified,” Lucca finally says as the car moves into the lane of traffic.
“Don’t be so secretive,” I fire back.
His grin is back on his handsome face. “You don’t like surprises?”
“You know I don’t.” I fold my arms across my chest, drawing Lucca’s gaze to that area.
“Did I ever tell you I spent time in prison?”
“Yes. That’s how you meet Nicolai.” I remember that, but he never expanded on why he ended up in prison. It didn’t take much of a stretch to think of why.
“It was my second time in prison,” Lucca starts.
“Second time? How many times were you in prison?”
“A few.” Lucca smirks at me. “The second time I was in prison, I met a man. Everyone called him Big E. He was huge. I’m not sure what E was short for, but that’s what we called him. He was an old-timer in his eighties, and he had already served thirty years.”
“Why was he there?” Thirty years made me think it was something very serious.
“He swore he was innocent. Said it was because he had broken into a police officer’s home. He didn’t know it was an officer’s house at the time.”
“Thirty years?” I didn’t exactly buy that.
“Yes.”
We stop at traffic lights. Lucca stares out the window like some scene is playing out on the window of the car. “The week he was set for release, we threw him a farewell party. I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone so glum.”
Lucca frowns, and it’s an odd look on his face. The car starts to move again.
“Maybe he was nervous about returning to society after thirty years,” I say.
“After the party, he returned to his cell and hung himself.”
My heart stills in my chest before it pounds. I didn’t know this man, but from the look on Lucca’s face, he knew him. Maybe even befriended him.
“I’m sorry, Lucca.” I shift closer to him and take his hand. He looks down at our joined fingers.
“When I got out, I tracked down his family.”
I squeeze our joined fingers. “They must have been heartbroken.”
“He only had a brother alive. We sat and had a cup of tea, and it was then I found out why Big E was in prison. Thirty years of keeping a secret and hiding the truth is what had him taking that rope and tying it around his neck.”
A coldness seeps under my skin and slowly drips into my system.
“He had broken into the officer’s home. That part was true. He just hadn’t told us that he had woken the family up and killed the officer’s wife and two children.”
Bile slowly rises up my throat. The sound of the air conditioner grows louder as the silence swallows the surrounding space.
“That’s a delightful story,” I murmur.
Lucca looks me in the eye. “Secrets eat away at us all, Evie.”
“Do yours eat away at you?” I ask.
Lucca doesn’t look away from me. He never hides, even when I can see the pain and uncertainty in his eyes.
“I’ve done a lot of bad things in my time.”
“You’ve also done a lot of good,” I remind him.
He doesn’t blink. “One day, I’ll tell you all my bad deeds.”
That doesn’t scare me. What scares me is him not telling me. The fact he would share all his darkness with me has me leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his lips.
Once I break the kiss, Lucca tucks me into his side. The airport comes into view not long after. I sit up as Pavel drives across the runway to a small plane. The door is open, and as we pull right up to it, the pilot comes down the steps.
“What is this?” I ask.
Lucca doesn’t answer but gets out and holds the door open for me. I climb out as Pavel gets our luggage out of the boot. There are a lot of suitcases, and that has me concerned.
Lucca takes my hand as we walk to the waiting plane.
The pilot greets us, and once we enter the plane, he follows, heading to the cockpit as we take our seats. The inside is luxurious. The cream leather takes all the heat from my overheated body. It’s like a cold drink on a hot day.
“You have to tell me where we’re going,” I plead, and Lucca laughs, a rare sound that has me smiling at him. No matter how annoyed I feel right now, I can’t stop the smile.
“Get comfortable. It’s a long journey.”
We take off down the runway to an unknown destination. I should be excited, but it’s more fear that consumes me. I know Lucca won’t hurt me, but that doesn’t stop all the possibilities from fluttering through my mind.
Lucca passes me a drink. I sniff the strong scent of alcohol before I quickly drink it all. Instantly, my body relaxes, and I take the second one Lucca offers me. The alcohol has me sinking deeper into the chair, my mind going back to Big E.
“That was a horrible story about Big E,” I say with my eyes closed.
“It’s life. He could have left and tried to right his wrongs.” Lucca’s cologne has my mind foggy, and I glance at him.
Right now, I wish we were back in the penthouse and in the bed. My mind jumps back to our conversation, which I should be focusing on. “He couldn’t make right what he had done.”
Lucca stares at me before taking a sip of his drink. “You think he can’t be forgiven?”
What had Lucca done in his time with the Bratva? How many people had he killed?
I watched him kill four in my short time with him.
“It depends. If you feel remorse, maybe.” But did that mean if the people who took me felt remorse that I should forgive them?
The fogginess disappears as anger reheats my blood.
I don’t sound convincing at all.
After that, I allow the alcohol to silence my mind, and I drift off to sleep.
I’m moving. I smile as I snuggle closer to Lucca. “What are you doing?” Why is he carrying me? The car journey and plane ride come back, and I look up at Lucca; only, the world is black.
I try to pull the blindfold off my face, but Lucca stops me. “You fell asleep on the plane. The blindfold is so you don’t know where we are.”
“That terrifies me,” I say, not liking having my sight taken from me. Laughter rattles Lucca’s chest, and that settles me.
Nothing is going to happen. Nothing bad is going to happen, I remind myself.
I hear a car door open, and then I’m placed on the seat. Lucca slides in beside me.
“How long will I be blindfolded?” I ask.
“Not long,” Lucca says as the car moves under us.
“Can I have some water?”
Silence. Moments later, a bottle touches my lips, and I drink deeply.
I’m restless for most of the journey, and when we stop, I’m ready to rip off the blindfold, but Lucca stops me.
“I need you to trust me.” His words carry a weight that wraps tightly around my throat. It takes me a moment, but I nod.
He helps me out of the car and stands me on the ground. The air is cold but fresh as I take a few steps.
The wind carries a smell that has my stomach tumbling and turning as we walk—turmoil tears through me. Lucca’s hand is solid in mine. I’m a pillar of sand, ready to dissolve. The ground beneath me isn’t firm; it shifts and sinks under my sneakers.
Hope of all hope blossoms like a poisonous plant.
“Where are we?” I ask.
“You’re nearly there, Evie.” His voice is a whispered promise in my ear. My fingers dance across the blindfold, but Lucca pulls my hand away.
“Nearly there.”
Cold water pours over my sneakers, filling them. Anyone else would dance away from the contact. My knees turn to jelly, and this time when I reach up and take off the blindfold, Lucca doesn’t stop me. I stare out at the ocean.
Lucca’s hand hasn’t left mine. It’s the only thing that’s keeping me still.
I taste the salt on my lips. My lids flutter closed as an onslaught of pain slashes through me. It’s too much.
It’s not enough.
I take a step into the water, letting it brush along my ankles—the waves rock and roar in the distance.
“I’m trying to right my wrongs.”
Lucca’s whispered words tear a sob from deep down inside me. All that lay there was rot. I had turned myself inside out for eight years. I had dreamed of returning here, of getting a do-over, and now here I stand. My home is behind me, but I’m too afraid to look. I’m too afraid of what I will find. So I stand in the waves.
I’m ten again. I’m being turned upside down by the waves. I’m back to that moment when I’m sinking, thinking I shouldn’t have left my bed.
Lucca’s warm hand in mine makes me look at him. He’s watching me.
He turns to me and takes my face in his hands. “Your parents are alive.”
A sob pours from my trembling, salty lips.
“They know you are alive. They are waiting for you.” Lucca turns toward the shore, and I follow where he’s looking. In the distance, I see my parents’ home, my home. It’s not a mirage. This isn’t a dream.
I’m home. I’m back in County Clare.
This is the moment I thought I would be running through the sand, screaming their names, but I can’t move.
“Do they know?” Tears drip down my face and coat my lips.
“Yes. I told them what happened.”
“Do they know your part in it?” I ask.
Lucca’s hand heats my cheeks. “I told them you escaped and met me, and I helped get you out of the country.”
It wasn’t far from the truth.
I swallow my pain.
“You did all this?”
Lucca releases me now, getting uncomfortable with any praise. My feet sink further into the wet sand, itching to move.
“It’s the least I could do.” Lucca looks away.
I look back at the house and wrap my arms around my waist. The cold has seeped into my shaky bones since Lucca released my face.
“Are they in the house?”
“Yes.”
I close my eyes briefly before looking at the house.
“It’s been eight years.”
Eight years of loss and pain.
Eight years of wondering.
The front door of my home opens, and a figure appears. I can barely see as the large man whose memory has kept me alive steps out.
“Dad.” It’s a whispered word filled with pain. He’s moving as if the wind carried my tortured word to him.
“Dad.” This time it isn’t a dream. I’m turning. I’m running toward my dad. Toward everything that kept me breathing all these years.
He meets me halfway, and I’m in his arms. The smell of home pours off him, and I can’t breathe because I’ve made it.
I’m home.
I’m really here. Sobs are pulled from the deepest part of my soul, and my dad’s soon match mine. Another set of arms embrace me. The tremble of our bodies is no match for what’s happening to our soul.
“My baby.” My mother’s cries have me trying to see her face, but she’s buried her head in my neck.
Her voice is sweeter than I remember. I’m clinging to my dad, whose strong arms hold me up. We stay like that for a while. My parents release me and grip my face.
“It’s really you,” my mother declares before dragging me back into her arms. My dad smiles, but I see the cracks and damage swirl in his eyes. Crinkles at the side of his eyes and my mother’s graying hair are true signs of the time that has passed.
My dad presses a kiss to my head. His gaze drifts behind me, and it’s then I remember Lucca.
“He’s the one who brought you back to us?”
I look at Lucca, who’s half watching us with hooded eyes.
“Yes.” I turn, but my mother’s hands don’t release me. “It’s okay, Mam.” I touch her fingers, but she doesn’t release me. I’m drawn back to Lucca.
“He spoke with us on the phone.” My dad is still looking at Lucca.
“Now you can meet him in person.” I smile at Lucca and wave him over.
He’s hesitant, but he starts to walk to us. My mother still holds me, and right now, I’m okay with that. The moment Lucca reaches us, he exhales a breath.
“Are you okay?” he asks, like my parents aren’t on either side of me.
I want to cry. I want to throw myself into his arms and thank him a million times over. “I am now that we’re all together.”
I glance up at my dad. “This is Lucca, my boyfriend.”
I don’t know who’s more surprised, Lucca or me. Lucca takes my dad’s outstretched hand and shakes it.
“Thank you, son, for bringing her home.” My dad’s voice shakes like it must have a thousand times over since I’ve been gone.
“You’re welcome.” Lucca has that uncomfortable look in his gaze again.
My mother releases me and attaches herself to Lucca. She’s crying, her words a jumble of thanks and pain.
“Come on, let’s get Evie home.” My dad has reclaimed it now. My mam releases Lucca, nodding several times.
I hold out my other hand for Lucca. “Let’s go home.”
He takes my hand. My mother sinks into my dad’s other side, and we walk back to the house. The small candle is burning in the window just like I remember. The sight of it twists me up before uncurling itself, and I know right there and then that I am truly home.
THE END
I hope you enjoyed The Handler.
The Sixth is the next book in the Cells of Kalashov series.
Read Tomas and Katina’s story HERE
Or read on for a sneak peek!