I return to the party, and Paula intercepts me.
“Come on, you have to meet the family.” She drags me around the patio introducing me to newly arrived faces. I meet a dozen tios and tias whose names I’ll never remember.
She introduces me to several children and a few teenagers, one of them I recognize from the Audi. He is sitting beside the girl from the backseat.
“This is my son, Gustavo.” Paula kisses the top of his head. “And this is Rosa, his ruca.”
“MA!” he yells, embarrassed.
“I’m kidding,” she insists, then shakes her head behind Gustavo’s back.
I find myself laughing with her when I should be warning her. Even if Gustavo and Rosa are released later, they will be listed as present during the raid, their names forever tainted in the system. Even worse, if Gustavo works for the business, he could go to jail too.
“Mi amor,” Marcus calls to me. He stumbles when he moves from the dirt to the paved patio.
“Are you drunk?”
He holds his forefinger and thumb together. “Just a little.”
The group of men behind him cheer in Spanish. “He’s getting married, he needs a drink!” one of them yells.
He falls into my arms. “I told you I loved you today. And you didn’t say it back.”
I was wondering if he noticed.
“I don’t say like to say it for the sake of saying it. It kills the magic.”
In the past, I declared my love too quick and too often, forcing the men in my life to tell me they loved me after every call, every text, before going to work, after work. They became meaningless words.
“I don’t get it.”
“Because you’re drunk. Come on, let's get you in a chair.” I try to find an empty space, but people are everywhere, eating, drinking, celebrating our engagement.
Holy fuck, I’m engaged.
I find an empty room inside the house. It appears to be a game room, with a pool table and large flat screen tv. I unload Marcus on the leather sofa and fix my dress. I should get an Olympic medal for hauling a grown man while wearing wrap dress.
“I brought some coffee.” Mrs. Arini walks in with a mug in her hand. “Come on, you’re a man now. Quit acting like a stupid boy.” She scolds him then turns to me. “If you need something, I’m in the kitchen.”
“Actually—” I stop her hasty exit. “I don’t know your first name.”
“You can call me Mrs. Arini.”
“Mama,” Marcus whines.
“Valentina,” she reluctantly discloses. “You can call me Valentina for now.” She leaves the door cracked open.
It’s a small victory, but I’ll take it. Not that it matters. She’ll hate me tomorrow; they all will. My phone tinkles, and I know it’s Theresa. I can’t answer it now, not in front of Marcus.
“Who’s calling you?”
“Nobody. Just Theresa. Girl talk.”
“Answer it, tell her the good news.”
“Not a chance…I mean, not right now. She’ll want to talk for an hour.”
The recovery is believable.
“I want you to know I meant everything I said tonight. You’re my soulmate, Scarlet.” He rubs the bird on his arm. “Now my father has to make good on his promise.”
He’s chatty when he’s drunk and I need information.
“What promise, baby?” I allow him to lay his head in my lap. I stroke his hair in hopes to stroke a little honestly out of him.
“The old man said when I found the woman I wanted to marry he would let me out of the business. I never really thought he would keep his word.” He starts to laugh. “I gave him no choice now. He can’t keep me close if I’m married to a cop.” His laughter grows, and he starts to cough.
The little voice inside me says ‘Run. He’s using you to get out of his family business.’ When I look at his sweet face, his red lips, and thick eyebrows—I don’t care. He feels right, even though everything is about to go wrong.
“Here, drink this.” I offer him the coffee. He needs to get sober.
“Thank you, mi amor.” He sits up and gulps it down then hands the mug back to me. “I knew from the moment I saw you. Your name tag said Macaw. I knew then you were the one.”
I was in uniform the day we met because I was on duty. If we’re being honest, I’d noticed him long before the day I stopped by his stand. Marcus is known as the hot avocado guy.
“Did you feel the same way about me? When did you know?”
“I’m not sure. Probably after the first night we spent together. I watched you sleep and thought ‘I could stare at that face forever.’”
That’s not a lie. I’ve wanted Marcus to be the one from the moment I handed him my phone number. I swore I wouldn’t do anything to jinx us. I was so worried I would be the one to screw everything up, I didn’t pay attention to the signs. How could I without stereotyping him, his family? Not every Mexican importer is a drug smuggler.
His eyes are glossy and heavy from the alcohol. Even though he’s drunk, his expression is serious. “There are things about my family,” he starts.
“You don’t have to explain.” I don’t want him to confess a word. If he tells me anything about their illegal activity, I have to report it.
“I need you to know, Scarlet.”
I place my fingers over his mouth. “Shhh. Not tonight. Let’s just have tonight.” I slide my hand around the back of his head and pull him to me.
We kiss a few times softly.
“I’ve never made out with a girl at my parents’ house,” he confesses.
“I’m your first.”
“My first, my only.” He kisses me again, this time with more control. He softly pulls me towards his lap.
“We can’t,” I whimper. “I want to, but not here.”
“My car,” he suggests.
“No, mine.”
He takes me out a side door to avoid the party. The coffee and the crisp night air seem to have sobered him up. I click my alarm, and the doors unlock on my Honda. I pull the driver’s seat forward and climb into the back. He follows me in, closing the door behind him.
“What if they come looking for us?” I worry. His family catching us in the backseat of my car should be the least of my problems.
“They won’t.” He unzips his jeans and pulls them down, exposing his hard-on.
I’m wet just looking at him. I could stare at that for the rest of my life.
I don’t have a lifetime. Just tonight.
I bend down and kiss the top of his penis. He grips a handful of my hair. I open my mouth and allow him to slide inside. My teeth scrape his shaft as I work him in and out of my mouth. He doesn’t seem to mind my teeth.
“Oh fuck, Scarlet. I love fucking love you.” He mumbles declarations of love in between cussing and moaning. Unlike before, I don’t want to finish him off. I want him inside of me.
I sit up when I feel him pulsing. I pull my panties off and straddle his lap. He slides in easily. I grip his head with both arms and allow him to control our movement. He forces me to go slow, lifting me then slowly lowering me onto to him. It’s glorious torture. A tear slides down my face, then another. I’m going to miss this. Miss him. He’s my everything. My knight in shining armor. My prince. And I’m going to let him be arrested.
“What’s the matter?” he asks. “Am I hurting you?”
No, I’m going to hurt you.
He pauses and wipes my tears.
“Don’t stop. I don’t ever want this to end.”
“It won’t.”
I cry harder, masking it behind moans of pleasure. I squeeze him tighter.
“We have forever.” He forces me to look at him. “I love you, Scarlet. I’ll love you forever.”
“I love you, Marcus.” The words spill out of me. “I love you. I do. So much. I’m so sorry.”
“Baby, stop crying. Why are you sorry you love me?”
He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know. I can’t tell him. If I do, I’ll lose my job, possibly my freedom. If I say nothing, I lose him.
Either way, I don’t win.
“Make love to me, Marcus.”
His erection never falters, never lets me down. He angles himself so he can go deeper inside of me. I wrap my arms around the front seats and stare at the stars through my sunroof. The windows begin to fog, but the sunroof is clear. I count the stars as Marcus starts his final ascent.
“Look at me, baby,” he commands. “I want to see your face when I come.”
I sit up. I place one hand behind his head the other I put on the roof of the car as leverage. We stare into each other’s eyes, his eyes filled with love and lust. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he comes. A man is never more vulnerable than in the few seconds after an orgasm. He holds me like I’m going to fly away.
“I love you so much, Scarlet.” He kisses me softly.
If he’s exonerated, we can be together. We’ll move away from here, to another state. Hell, to another country.
I’m thinking too far ahead.
He hasn’t even been arrested but I know it’s coming. I know charges will be filed. There’s enough evidence of a bird smuggling operation in the backyard to put him away for a long time. He even admitted to me that they sell birds from time to time. The only way for him to escape jail time is if he flips. If he loves me as much as he says, maybe I can convince him to do it. If he goes down and I don’t report what I saw here, what he’s confessed—I go down too. For the second time in my life—I lose everything.
He pulls his shirt off and hands it to me so I can clean myself. I know the moment we exit this car, everything changes.
Marcus zips up his pants, then uses his fist to wipe the side window. “I think it’s clear.” He moves to open the door.
“Marcus, wait.” I grab his bicep, the one with the scarlet macaw. His favorite bird. His spirit animal.
Maybe he’s right. We are soulmates, fated to meet.
Destined to save each other.