Ansel moved closer. I began to creep back when his arm shot out and hooked around me. He tugged me into him. “I was going to carefully explain this. I typed it out a dozen times and deleted it a dozen more. I tried to pretend that you didn’t make me feel something new and unique the other night. Not because I’m scared of the feelings . . . hell, I liked knowing they were there. Okay, I need to tell you something that you might not be okay with. I’ve rehearsed it again and again, trying to concoct a way to deliver what I have to say. It just has to be said.”
I waited silently. Dread, fear and excitement were all pumping through my veins. He needed to say it, whatever it was, and if he was married I would punch him in the nose. Not that I knew how to punch, not exactly, but I would jab my fist at him and manage to do some damage.
“The lady who ran through the shop’s window is my sister-in-law. Janis hasn’t been okay since my brother was killed in a car wreck during a high-speed chase while on duty. They lived in Denver, but after the funeral I moved her here so I could look after her. Janis relies on me. I’m all she has.”
“Eventually she found peace in a bottle, then it escalated to more serious addictions. You name it, the poor woman’s tried it in an attempt to numb the pain. She’s been in and out of rehab, but I’m failing because she’s not getting better. Telling you this hadn’t seemed important at the time, but then I felt guilty for what Janis had done. So, I gave you a break at my lake house and somehow, in a few hours you had me wanting things that I never expected. I’d been intrigued by you the night before, then spending actual time with you changed every damn thing. When you texted . . . well, I’d just gotten Janis released from jail and into yet another rehab, this time in California. Her travel had to be arranged. I called a friend to meet her at the airport and make sure she got settled. I can’t keep holding her hand. To heal or not is her choice. To find happiness again is her goal. I’ve had to deal with the anxiety of letting my brother down, and yes I know he’s gone, by sending Janis away. I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing because I would always lose unless she wanted to remain sober and live another life, another life that wouldn’t destroy her.”
He paused. I was staring unblinkingly at him. Being angry with Janis wasn’t possible. I’d never been through what she’d experienced. I felt incredibly shallow and foolish for being upset with Ansel. He hadn’t known how insecure I was and, until the texting issue, I hadn’t realized that I was so needy. Guilt and shame spread over me.
“I’m a bitch,” I finally said, admitting it to myself while Ansel stood before me. He then began to laugh. I closed my eyes and continued. “I am. I acted like a crazy female.”
On he laughed. “No, you acted like a girl who’s as into me as I am into her. I mishandled everything. Did it all wrong without thinking it through.”
Opening my eyes I asked, already knowing the answer, “The girl in the parking lot?”
“Janis,” he replied.
“You’re not married?” I asked, before realizing it was stupid.
Ansel smiled and replied, “No, I’m definitely not married.” He then reached out and cupped my face in his hands. “The one thing that kept me focused through all of this was thinking about doing this again.” Humor fled from his expression. I shivered with anticipation.
When Ansel’s lips touched mine, all was forgotten except how good it felt. His hands ran down my neck, descending over my shoulders until each hand covered a breast. I may have moaned from the pleasure;. I couldn’t be sure. My body hummed with the thrill of excitement from being touched by him. I’d thought about this and experiencing it in the flesh was better than any musing. This . . . was . . . happening.
When he broke the kiss, I wanted to protest, but then his lips moved to my neck, which made my head fall back just enough to give him better access. This was too good not to want more. There was a safeness I felt in his arms that I didn’t have time to think through. I wanted to be close to him, to feel Ansel thoroughly. I didn’t care about all the reasons that I should take it slow.
“You keep making those noises and I’ll strip you down and bury my face between those pretty legs of yours.” He nipped at my shoulder. I delivered a moan. “There we go. I want more of that.”
The images in my head made me tremble. I grasped him. My body was weak. I accepted his threat to taste me. The idea of nakedness was appealing.
My shirt began to move up my stomach and I lifted my arms as he removed it and threw the fabric aside. Ansel’s eyes devoured me, before he placed a kiss on each nipple and around each swelling breast. I gasped at the sensations, then he removed my bra. He was moving fast and stopping him should be what I wanted to do . . . but I didn’t . . . because I couldn’t.
He licked at each bared nipple and I was so drawn into the moment that it wasn’t until my pants began easing down my legs that I realized I was about to be as naked as Ansel had threatened. Knowing what would come next made me ache between my legs. My breathing became labored and my heart throbbed in my chest like a triggered jackhammer.
I stepped out of my jeans as Ansel bent down to take them from me. He looked up at me with a sexy grin and held my gaze as he kissed my thigh before standing back up. I should stop this. I didn’t move this fast. This was something that I took my time with. Yet, that wasn’t happening.
Ansel trailed kisses back up my stomach, halting to give attention to my breasts, before pulling me hard against his chest and covering my mouth with his. The mint from his gum lingered in his mouth and, like the rest of him, was intoxicating to taste. Suddenly I was in his arms with my feet swept from the floor. He carried me to the sofa and kissed me one more time as he laid me down. With his lips touching mine, so close I could feel their heat, he whispered, “Sugar, I was going to be good. Give you some time. But I need to taste you. Let me taste you and that will be it.”
A squeak — no, a sound of desperation — came from me. Ansel gave me a cocky grin as he moved down my body until both my legs were over his shoulders. I inhaled sharply as the heat of his breath met my most sensitive area before his tongue followed The second he made contact, my hips bucked from the cushions and I screamed. The jolt from his intimate kiss was perfection multiplied. That was the beginning. I didn’t know if it would be forever. I didn’t know if he would be my best idea or my worst mistake. But right then I knew I’d do this again with him in an instant. I was willing to take a chance and risk . . . all of it . . . and everything.
If I was being honest with myself, Ansel’s smile that first night was really all it took.