Chapter Twenty

Myles

Coach worked us hard tonight. After we went over some plays from some of the recent games the Penguins won, Coach dismisses us and tells us to get a good night’s rest.

Oli stops me on the way out of the locker room. “Hey, man, do you think we can grab a beer?”

I look to the clock on the far wall of the locker room. “It’s late, man. We should head home.”

“We need to talk. I can’t do that in my apartment with my sister there,” he explains. I wonder what this is about.

My head tilts sideways and my brows furrow together. “Uh, okay…” Whatever it is it must be important, because we need to head home to get well rested for our big game tomorrow night.

We grab our bags and head out.

“I’ll meet you at Malone’s, yeah?” Oli asks as we separate to our cars.

I nod.

He has one beer and a bottled water sitting on the table waiting when I get there. “Thanks, man.” I nod and place my jacket on the bench of the booth before sliding in.

“What’s going on?” I ask, getting right to the point.

“Flynn’s been having a tough time since moving to Chicago, and today something happened at her firm. She was presented a drunk driving case.”

I hiss loudly.

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly.”

“Well, is she okay?”

“She’s fine, but somehow her boss got her to see that you aren’t to blame for what happened.” He speaks slowly, choosing his words carefully because the whole situation is fucked-up and it isn’t easy for any of us to talk about.

“Fuck, Oli…” I begin, but my head is spinning from his revelation.

Flynn is over the blame. I’m fucking happy, but there’s another problem, one Oli refuses to talk about. Something I’ve been sworn to secrecy to keep. I won’t go back on my word, but it isn’t the only thing that has kept me away from Flynn. My personal demons coat me like a heavy blanket I can’t get rid of. I won’t ever be good enough for her. It’s the reason I actually listened to my best friend when he told me it was best to keep my distance from Flynn. I try to gain control of my racing thoughts.

I’ve come to grips with the fact my parents weren’t the greatest, and maybe it wasn’t me. The only time I hear from my mom is when she needs money. Since having Flynn back in town, I’ve been poking holes in my own argument, convincing myself that maybe I do deserve her.

“I don’t want to talk about the past, Myles. I’m here because I know you have feelings for my sister,” he says bluntly.

I half cough, half choke. “Fuck.” I run my fingers through my hair.

“My parents thought you two would get together at some point,” he admits, holding the glass of beer. I pause to take a sip of my water while trying to process what he’s said. His parents knew I wanted their daughter and they were fine with it? That can’t be right. I must have heard him wrong.

I realize I owe my friend an explanation. “Man, fuck. I’m sorry. Maybe I should’ve said something earlier. I thought you’d be pissed because she’s your sister.”

Oli shakes his head.

“I don’t know. It was weird for me. She’s Flynn,” I say.

Oli glances at his watch. It’s getting late. “Look, I just want to know where your head is at concerning my sister. I don’t need her getting hurt,” he says.

I smile and shake my head.

“Talk to me, man,” he urges. “Whatever it is, just lay it out.”

I exhale harshly. “I don’t know that I can give Flynn what she needs,” I confess.

“You’re a good guy.”

I huff. “Neither of us is a good guy anymore, Oli. We’ve both been through more chicks than we can count.”

“I can’t argue with that, but it’s our lifestyle, man. Do you wanna tell me that you’ve had sex since I told you Flynn was moving to Chicago? Because I haven’t seen you with a single girl, and neither has Dave or Nils or Derek. They’ve all been asking me if you’ve lost it.” When we’re on the road, there’s a lot of hooking up going on, and I’ve been calling early nights all the time.

“I haven’t been hooking up, but that doesn’t make me good for her. I’ve had feelings for her ever since I can remember, but I’m not the guy she needs. And I’m always going to have secrets.” I deflate. I grab my jacket and throw a twenty-dollar bill on the table.

“Myles, wait.” He stands up to stop me.

“Oli, you need to come clean to her,” I say. “She deserves to know the truth. Besides, even if I wanted to be with her, that damn guilt is there every time she looks me in the eye.”

“I know.” He gives me a sad look.

“You need to tell her sooner rather than later.” I don’t want to pressure him, but time is running out.

This lie has gone on too long, and it has to end because I’m fucking unraveling having her so close. Now hearing that his family knew about our feelings for each other, that they accepted me…it mends my broken parts just a little. “A part of me wants to try to be a better man for her.”

Oli stares me straight in the eye. He knows I’m not fucking around. I sense his fear.

“See you in the morning,” I say, because we need our rest for the game tomorrow.

“Yeah.” He sighs, staring at his beer bottle. He’s probably trying to figure out how to fix the mess we made. I head back to my apartment and allow his words to truly penetrate. There’s no question that I want Flynn.

But if I’m doing this, there’s no turning back.