Chapter Twenty-Two
Flynn
Myles seemed so broken. There’s no way I’ll be able to rest until I check on him. I take Oli’s spare key for Myles’s apartment, and I slip out the front door.
His apartment is dark except for a small hall light off to the left. He’s face-planted and sleeping on his kitchen table. He doesn’t look very comfortable, either. I walk over to him and nudge him awake. After a few tries, he mumbles something incoherent.
“Easy there,” I say, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Let’s get you to bed, big guy.” I begin to walk with him. He’s unsteady but at least he’s holding himself up.
“You’re touching me?” he slurs.
A slow smile spreads across my lips. “Which is your bedroom?”
“Second door,” he mumbles as I hold his arm tight. If he falls over, we are both going down, and I won’t get him back up.
“I like that you’re talking to me. I missed you,” he says.
We reach the side of his bed. “Can we cuddle?” he slurs.
I choke on my laugh. “Want to tell me what this is about?” I have an idea, but I need him to say it.
“I want you. I’ve always wanted you,” he murmurs.
I hold my breath. Drunk Myles is super honest. “Are you still angry with me about driving the car?” he asks then falls back in the bed.
I let out a heavy breath. Oli spoke to him.
I sit on his bed. “I wasn’t angry in the way you think. I was grieving, I was sad…looking at you reminded me of what I lost. I hated it, but I couldn’t help it. I associated your face with their deaths. It was wrong of me. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I just couldn’t help it.” I sigh.
“Thank you. My Tink,” he murmurs, and his words mend the broken pieces of me. It feels so right being with him. How did we stay apart for so long? I need to fix this. I need to fix us.
He snores a bit.
Maybe I’ll wait until he’s sober.
Oli is right. Life is too short.
…
I have a hard time falling asleep. I toss and turn, worrying about my broken Peter Pan. I want Myles. There. I’ve admitted it to myself. But we still have some mending to do before we have any chance of making some sort of relationship work. I’d been so overwhelmed with my own hurt, I didn’t realize what I’d done to him.
Around half past twelve, Oli knocks on my door. “Heading to practice. Big game tonight. You better plan on making it,” he shouts through the door.
“Okay,” I mumble in return.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asks, and I sense his worry. It’s always there when he’s talking to me. To everyone else in my life, I’m strong as stone, but Oli treats me like I’m a fragile piece of glass.
“I’m good. Get to the arena and make that practice your bitch.”
I hear him chuckle through the door. Then he’s gone.
I close my eyes and fall asleep, grateful it’s the weekend. The chime on my phone tells me I slept for two more hours. I must’ve really needed the rest. I pick up the phone to see a text message from Sloane.
I realize I haven’t been in touch since my breakdown at work yesterday.
I place the phone back on the side table and trudge out of bed. I better get my work done now if I’m going to this game tonight.
…
My brother has front center rink-side seats waiting for me when I arrive. The security for the team hands me two tickets. He must have assumed I was coming with Sloane, only I decided to fly solo tonight, since I’m drowning in my own thoughts.
Myles and Oli are having a good night. Myles seems to be taking out his temper on the ice. It’s like he’s driven by anger, and in the game of hockey it helps him succeed. My brother is also a rock star tonight, sweeping in and getting the puck from the other team and scoring a goal. They both eye me at different points in the game, so I know they see me here, which is good because I don’t plan on sticking around afterward.
The buzzer goes off, and the Blackhawks win the game. The fans cheer their heads off. Chicago definitely supports their team, I’ll give them that. I grab my purse and practically run out of the arena, out to the front where I hop directly into a cab because I don’t want to face Myles yet. My old friend fear holds me back, and as much as I need to let go of the past, stepping toward the future is a scary thing when you don’t know what awaits you.
As I’m walking through the main entrance to Oli’s building, I receive a text message.
While sifting through one of the cases Tara has me working on, my mind drifts to Myles. I ran away from the arena tonight like the place was on fire. When would I stop running? I’d already come to the realization that Myles wasn’t to blame. I have feelings for him I want to explore. I need to stop letting my fears control me. That was key. I always patted myself on the back for controlling every angle of my life. It was the reason I kept change to a minimum. But my life was changing, and as much as it scared me, a thrill rushed through my body at the idea of Myles and me finally being free to explore our feelings. I finally knew what I had to do. Tomorrow I would go to Myles and tell him how I truly felt.