“If there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them.” —Spock

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Wednesday, October 8

I told Jaz about my fight with Dallas, then she told Amy, so by the time we gathered for lunch I knew they’d be taking my metaphorical temperature.

“Are you okay?” Amy asked. “Do you want some tea? I always keep chamomile in my locker, in case of emergencies.”

“You and Natasha.” I sighed, leaning my hand on my chin. “I don’t want to talk about Dallas.”

“What happened?” Claire asked, fiddling with a dreadlock. I was glad she’d rejoined our lunch table after yesterday’s scene.

“Big-time drama,” Jaz stage-whispered.

Claire raised her eyebrows at me. “You guys used to date, right?”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Toff slid onto the bench next to Amy, making her blush and disrupting my train of thought.

“’Sup, my lovely harem? What’s the big gossip today?” Toff grinned at us and tore open a bag of potato chips.

“Dallas and Viv had a huge fight,” Jaz said.

“Dude, seriously?” I glared at Jaz. She had no filter.

She shrugged and tilted her head toward Toff. “He’s one of the girls now, right?” She grinned at him. “You know how Dallas and Viv are. Pretending they can’t stand each other when they really want to tear each other’s clothes off.”

“So it’s gonna be one of those lunches, huh?” he asked. “A bunch of he said/she said drama. So what happened? You steal his calculator or something?”

“Hilarious, Toff.” I tossed a raisin at him and he almost caught it in his mouth. “No. This was a real fight.” I sighed and my gaze drifted across the courtyard.

Dallas sat at a table with Kylie and her friends, but he was staring directly at me. I met his gaze and held it. Toff threw a potato chip at me. “Dude. You’re like a dog in heat.”

My face flushed. “You’re gross, Toff.”

“But accurate,” he said.

Jaz and Amy giggled while I glared at them. I turned to Claire. “We never dated. We just worked together.”

She frowned. “Oh. But it always seemed like…” Her voice trailed away and she shrugged.

Jaz rolled her eyes. “They totally want to. But they’re the most stubborn people on the planet.”

“Truth,” Toff said as he opened another bag of chips. He was like a human garbage disposal. “So is anyone going to tell me what happened? Or do I have to find a translator who speaks girl?”

“Dallas had to fix something on the store computer last night,” Amy said. I watched her maintain eye contact with Toff. I knew it was hard for her, but she did it. “Then he and Viv got into a fight about kissing and—”

Toff glanced at me and raised an eyebrow, then turned back to Amy. “Go on.”

“Well, they argued because right after he kissed her, he started dating Kylie.”

“Seriously?” He looked surprised. Maybe Dallas hadn’t told him about our kiss. Unlike Jake, Dallas wasn’t spreading any rumors about me. Toff glanced over his shoulder toward Dallas. “So I have to beat his ass, too? I thought I just needed to hurt Jake.”

I closed my eyes in frustration. “It’s not like that. I told you…” my voice cracked. I gave him a pleading look. “Remember how I told you I blew my chance with him?”

I felt Jaz, Amy, and Claire staring at me. I hadn’t told them about my beach chat with Toff.

Toff sighed and stuffed more chips in his mouth, chewing slowly. I shook my head, sending him silent messages not to do or say anything to Dallas.

“What’s going on?” Jaz asked. “Are you guys like reading each other’s minds or something?”

Toff’s lips narrowed, the stubborn tilt to his jaw making me wonder if he was going to seek out Dallas as soon as lunch was over. But then his expression softened and he encompassed everyone with his easy grin. “Wow. And you think guys are hard to understand? You bitches are psycho.”

We all laughed but Amy swatted him on the arm. “Don’t call us that.”

“Bitches or psycho?” He leered at her and she blushed. He turned back to me. “So you fought about all this last night? Just decided to harass the poor guy while he was fixing your computer?”

I shot a glance in Dallas’s direction, but he wasn’t at the table.

“Just forget it,” I said, giving Toff my strongest warning glare. “It doesn’t matter. I’m never dating anyone ever again. And I’m definitely never kissing anyone ever again.”

Everyone stared at me, then broke into peals of laughter.

“What?” I protested. “You think I’m kidding? Trust me, from now on these lips are totally celibate.”

Everyone laughed, but I knew it was true because if I couldn’t kiss Dallas, I wasn’t kissing anyone.