“Insults are effective only where emotion is present.”
—Spock

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Wednesday, October 15

Jaz and I raced down the hallway, running late after spending longer than usual at the lookout site. Today I agreed with her; it was definitely Fisk jogging along the beach. I’d even signed her log, wishing I could tell her why I recognized him so easily.

I skidded to a stop at my locker, focused on the combination lock, until I noticed Jaz frozen like a statue.

“What?” I frowned at her, then followed her gaze to the top of my locker.

SLUT gleamed down in angry black ink. I stopped breathing, reaching out to the wall of lockers for support.

“Son of a bitch,” Jaz whispered.

I gaped at the word, wondering who did it.

“Jake,” growled Jaz. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Oh.” My breath whooshed out of me. Of course it was Jake. “But we can’t prove it.”

Jaz rolled her eyes. “Who else would do it? Motive and opportunity, just ask your mom.”

One of the security guards stalked toward us, his expression grim.

Jaz pointed to my locker when he stopped next to us. “Did you see this?”

He nodded, scowling. “That’s the second one today.”

“The other one is Claire’s locker, right?” asked Jaz.

The grooves in his scowl deepened. “Sounds like you know who did this.”

“Not for sure,” I said, shooting a warning glare at Jaz, remembering the pain as he twisted my wrist.

“To the principal’s office, ladies. Now.”

...

Before Dr. Blake released us, she assured us she’d look into Jake’s possible involvement. She also said the custodial staff would try to remove the slur but might not be able to right away.

“You can cover it up with something in the meantime. We have some posters lying around the office if you want. Just don’t try to retaliate with Mr. Fontaine’s locker. That’s not how students at our academy respond.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” I wasn’t going to get in trouble doing payback on his locker. Who knew what he might do?

She nodded. “I’m sorry, Vivian. You can be sure he’ll have a serious consequence.”

She hesitated. “Would you be interested in restorative justice mediation with him? If he admits he did it?”

Much as I liked my hippie school, sometimes I wished they’d punish offenders like normal schools. Maybe put him in a stockade.

“Probably not. Just, um, send him to the brig or whatever.”

Dr. Blake frowned as she wrote on her legal pad. “Noted.”

...

I handed my tardy slip to Ms. Kilgore, consciously avoiding eye contact with everyone. I felt Jake’s eyes on me, and Toff’s. Had he seen my locker? And what about Dallas? I slid into my seat, heart racing, willing myself not to cry. I couldn’t let Jake see how he’d impacted me. When I thought of how he’d touched me, kissed me…how could someone do that and then turn on me, threaten me?

As soon as Ms. Kilgore released us, I flew out the door, ignoring Toff as he called after me. I spent the rest of the morning head down, ignoring the whispered comments and giggles aimed my way.

I ignored texts from Amy and Toff, Amy offering chamomile tea and Toff offering to kick some ass. When it was time for lunch, I thought about skipping so I wouldn’t have to retrieve my lunch from my locker, but I told myself I needed to be brave.

At my locker, I was shocked to discover the graffiti had been graffiti’d. Instead of SLUT, it now said:

SLUvT

T R

A E

R K

I stepped back, trying to decipher it. Star Trek Luv? Who would…I spun around, looking for Dallas, but he wasn’t there. He’d been here, though. I could feel it. For the first time all morning, I smiled.

...

The rest of the afternoon I stewed about my locker, chewing my nails down to the quick. I wanted to confront Jake, but I was afraid to. He’d turned into such a jackass. If I was honest with myself, I’d admit that he’d always been a jerk; but my stupid hormones had made me overlook that important fact.

I lingered in the hall as everyone swarmed around me, jostling and laughing on their way to the final class of the day. As I started for the library, I spotted Jake leaning against a wall of lockers, watching me with a smirk. His smug expression fueled a fire I didn’t even know I had. I stormed down the hallway, shouldering my way through the crowd, headed right for him. His eyes widened as I approached, but he didn’t move.

“You need to back off.” My voice shook and I knew he heard the tremor because his smirk deepened. Anger stampeded through my veins like wild horses, spinning me into a rage strong enough to overcome my fear. I thought of Claire in tears in the store. Of how humiliated I’d felt when he’d dumped me, saying we were never a thing.

“I mean it, Jake. You can’t treat people like…like trash you can just throw away when you get tired of them.” I glared at him, standing my ground even though I was shaking. I reminded myself I was doing this for Claire, too, and for every other girl he’d lied about because I knew we weren’t the only ones.

His eyes narrowed. “I warned you, but you couldn’t just let it drop, could you? Just because you were jealous of Claire, you had to get even and tell her some bullshit to make her hate me.”

Shocked, it took me a moment to come up with a comeback. “I told her the truth, Jake. Are you crazy? You really think every girl wants you, don’t you?” Laughing bitterly, I shook my head. “Newsflash, Jake: You’re an ass. And you can’t keep using people and lying about it.”

This time he was the one to laugh. “Who’s going to stop me? You and your little gang of loser friends?”

I was dimly aware that several people had slowed, eavesdropping on our argument. In my peripheral vision, I saw a tall blond figure approaching. Fast.

I took a breath. “I want you to stop lying. About me. About Claire.”

He took a step closer, clamping a hand around my wrist. “Maybe Vespa guy would’ve stuck around if you did put out, Galdi—”

The blond figure appeared next to us, breathing heavily and looming over Jake.

“You don’t want to do this, Fontaine,” Toff growled.

“Fight!” Voices chanted around us, then a classroom door swung open and Mr. Yang bore down on us.

“Gentlemen. Is there a problem?”

Jake released my wrist.

Toff and Jake glared at each other. If looks could kill, they’d both be slit to ribbons.

“No problem,” Toff bit the words out.

“Right,” Jake snapped. “No problem.”

Mr. Yang crossed his arms over his chest until Jake gave up and turned away. I watched him go, my heart beating erratically. Mr. Yang turned back to Toff.

“Everything under control, Mr. Nichols?”

Toff nodded. I could feel the raw energy pulsing out of him. I glanced down the hall just in time to see Jake turn around and raise both hands, flipping us off in stereo.

Toff took a step forward, then stopped when I pulled on his arm.

“You two need to get to class,” Mr. Yang said. He pulled a pad of paper out of his pocket and scribbled tardy passes for us.

“Thanks,” I said, taking both passes. Toff glared down the hallway after Jake’s retreating figure.

“Get to class. Now.” Mr. Yang frowned.

“Let’s go.” I pushed Toff forward, hurrying to match his long, angry stride.

“What the hell were you doing, Viv? You need to stay away from him.”

“You saw what he did to my locker.” I was practically jogging now, trying to keep up.

He stopped short, and I knocked into him. His normally clear blue eyes were dark and stormy, reminding me of a thundercloud. “Yeah, I saw it, and I plan to do something about it.” He glared at me, like somehow this was my fault.

“You can’t fight him. You’ll get suspended. Kicked off the surf team.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not an idiot, Viv. There are other ways to deal with him.” He ran a hand through his messy hair. “Just stay away from him, all right?” He took a breath, and suddenly the storm in his eyes was replaced by pleading. “Please?”

We stared at each other for a long moment. I remembered our night on the beach together, how he’d said he first felt sorry for me when I was teased as a little girl. Frustration wound through me, tightening my insides like a coil. I hated that he felt obligated to protect me.

“I needed to stand up for myself,” I said.

He huffed an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, I wish all girls would stand up to him. But he’s dangerous. You know what they say about poking snakes, right? Just keep away from him, Viv. You told him off, now let it go.”

“But if nobody calls him out, he wins! He gets to keep being an ass, and using people, and…and—” My voice caught. My rage had cooled down and was threatening to dissolve into tears.

Slowly, Toff reached out a hand, but I batted it away. His jaw tightened, and I saw the hurt in his eyes. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, but instead I stood frozen in my self-righteousness, frustrated that he wanted me to just ignore Jake.

Spock wouldn’t ignore Jake; he’d do the Vulcan nerve pinch and paralyze him.

“I don’t need a bodyguard, Toff.” I matched his intense gaze with my own. I worried he’d do something stupid to Jake and end up suspended or worse.

His eyebrows shot up. “I’m your friend, Viv. I care about you. You’re practically my freaking sister. I’m not going to just let him—” He stopped, shoving his sleeves up his muscled forearms. His breathing was ragged. “Never mind. Do whatever the hell you want.” He spun away from me and stormed down the hall, slamming his fist against a locker before rounding the corner and disappearing from view.

As the sound of his fist banging on metal echoed in the hall, I staggered back as if he’d slapped me.

Why couldn’t I ever get it right? Why did I keep hurting the people I cared about the most?