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It has been sometime. But not enough for me to forget.
It was summer.
I was about to complete my first 20 years of life. I was in the prime of my youth, in the times of my great dreams become true and full of ideas. I had completed my studies last December. I was very happy.
Then in January we made an excursion to Florianopolis. There was I and my classmates, working hard on the parties we promoted to make this trip. It was everyone’s dream that time. Beach, pretty girls, movement, fun, lots of mess, the secret hope of a romance with ones of the girls who went with us. in fact they also were parts of our classroom. On the trip going until Floripa, it was just noisy. We would stay in a Lawyer’s house whose name I don’t remember. The house was on the way to the English beach. I’ve never seen such a magnificent residence. It looked like a countryside. There was a football field, a tennis court, a small gym and pool. For me that was so great! I’d never seen such a beautiful house like that!
As soon as we arrived, we threw our things, bags and rattletraps, in any corner. We quickly made a lunch and threw ourselves on the beach. That was a discovering day. It was my first time to see the sea. Not only me. Most of our class. We wondered at it for a long time. Contemplating the grandeur and splendor of the sea.
After sometimes of contemplating, some girls threw themselves into the water. Then the other boys followed them, throwing to meet themselves into the salt waters. I, who didn’t know how to swim, went up to where the water reached my chest. I remained about twenty minutes in the sea. Feeling the force of the waters pulling out the sand under my feet. That was a new and delightful sensation. But I was cautious, the other time, I almost drowned in a river. Then I got away from there and went walking on the beach. I was walking on my own. I fancied the beautiful girls who lay on the ground, whom my eyes lusted. Then at a certain point, I found out that I was all by myself, not that I didn’t like, but remembered that it was party and should have fun as the others. I started getting back running with nothing to worry about, letting my feet kick the water to those who were on the sea edge and laughing to those guys who thought that was bad.
As I arrived where I had split with others, I saw one of my friend alone, somewhere far on the beach sitting on the sand looking at the horizon.
‘Celestino, what’s up boy?’ why are you sad? Let’s have a fun !- I really was happy.
‘Ah, it’s nothing man!’ – he said wary.
‘Come on man, let that alone, let’s go! You haven’t wet yourself!’ said I looking at his shorts that were dry.
‘No, I can’t. I said. Where have you been? Were you gone?’ he said looking up for the first time.
‘Don’t change the subject, Celestino. Take this t-shirt out and throw yourself, go! I was trying to encourage him, but I was unsuccessful.
‘Shall we run? To which side did you go? From there?’ He said pointing his finger. ‘Then let’s go to this other side!’
And he left walking with his head down, in short steps.
I saw when a tanned couple and both of a well-shaped bodies, passed close to him and commented in a low tone of voices about albinos and things like, “what a pity, and he’s a stump of an only arm” “poor fellow!”
‘That’s it! Only now I could understand! He felt himself inferior! I got angry at the couple. He was like us. I always considered him as one of us. That’s why I didn’t care about him being sad. I never treated him for pity. He was my friend. He was able to do lots of things. He was not an invalid. And it was me who had insisted him to come along with us and I almost felt myself the blamer for what he was feeling. For, there on the beach, where everybody paraded sculptural bodies, brown, tanned, he was exposed like a scar who everybody looked at.
I followed him. I walked with Celestino all afternoon. When we got back on the bus, every other guys were already there waiting for us. But they made some fun of us, for both of us being all afternoon long together. This is what always happens with a class that is partying. We stayed at Florianopolis three more days, and during these three days I remained beside him. I sometimes felt like leaving him alone, with his sorrow, but I’ve always been soulful. I knew that he was sad. I tried to do something to make him feel pleased. And from there our friendship deepened. We spoke about our dreams and hopes of a better future. I played with him saying that when I become a lawyer, I’d buy him a mechanical arm, just to hug all the girls who did not want to stay beside him. On our way back home on the bus, someone came up and said:
‘Man, I would like to have the courage you have got to stay beside him. Have you seen how the whole class did not care about him? No one would like to be you to remain beside this guy, it is that they just wanted to show them off and have been ashamed to stay by his side’, said one of the boys who was travelling with us.
‘Look, I don’t need courage. He’s really my friend. He’s not just a simple classmate. He’s a friend of mine. And for me, friendship requires more than talking only. It means to feel. I don’t care if I missed the party you had in the Shampoo Club, there by the sea, I don’t care if you get blown if I didn’t drink as much as you all did, I’m still alive and so is he’.
‘Hey, pal, what’s that? I came here to thank you’ he said frightened by the emphasis that I defended the boy with an only arm.
To thank?!! What a bullshit! You shit!’ Everyone into the bus just looked at me.
‘You often talk about friendship, have parties and parties, but don’t know the real meaning of a friendship. My God, he’s not someone from a different planet. He’s like us, he studied with us during two years, you remember? So, why do you ignore him? Why did you leave him all by himself during all this time and none of you knew how to invite him and go out for a walk? Or at least sit beside him and talk.
‘Hey, hey, what’s that? Now you’re the good Samaritan? You went on walking with him up and down because you wanted, no one asked you to do that!!’ said another boy who I really never got on well with him.
‘I know all about it. I really know. And I’m proud of it. And I’m proud even more just not to be from this “group of yours”.
‘Hey, leave it man, this people are absolutely right. It is I who should have not come. I knew that this would happen. Said Celestino quietly from the bottom of the bus.
‘What’s up Celestino!?’ said I feeling now all anguish that was inside my chest ready to blow up through my throat like a volcano in eruption. ‘Did you see now what you’ve done? You mean that while he helped us there on the party preparation, alright, but he was not supposed to come along with us? Was it that you wanted? My God, how quite mistaken was I about you, guys? what about you Luiz? Won’t you say anything? Don’t you remember when he lent you money to pay your school fees? And you Rojani? You only care about the party and nothing else? I wonder if what you have of beauty, is what of emptiness you got inside your heart? You know what, I’ll get off this bus. I’ll get another one and pay for my ticket. It’s better travelling by myself than going with you.
‘Hey dude, what’s that? — Luiz interrupted. ‘you don’t need to overdo that. Calm down man, relax!
‘Haa, leave him. If he wants to get off, then let him go. Who do you think you are to give us lessons of morals? Now you’re in love with him, right? Or you’re just jealous of us for having great fun, went out and got some girls, while you kept yourself busy caring the crippled guy?’ said Décio. No sooner than he’s finished pronouncing those words, I let my right fist out to knock his chin off. He unbalanced himself and hit on a chair and when he tried to hit back, the other guys held him back to avoid the fight. Suddenly there was a general controversy on the bus.
The bus driver heard the noise and stopped the bus. He came up to see the reason of the shouts. Celestino kept on there at the back of the bus, sitting on a single seat on his own, with a white head and legs crossed, quiet without saying a word. I looked at him before getting off the bus. They threw my back pack through the window.
I saw Luiz’s disapproving glance in his eyes that he threw on me through the window. They hardly believed that I could get that far at the point of getting off the bus. Celestino continued the trip with them.
Two days later after them, I arrived home. I arrived home tired and hungry. I had spent all my economy for the bus ticket. As soon as it got dawn, I went to work without talking to anybody at home. So, the rush of the work filled my day. In the evening, as I arrived home, I saw all the lights off, and with some mistrust I opened the door. That was the greatest surprise in my life. There was the whole class who went on trip with me. They hugged me, scolded and, moved we cried all together. Celestino hugged me and sobbing, he said something to me that I will never forget. ‘If everyone had that so strong feeling of friendship you have, in fact many things would be different’.
This was more than twenty years ago. Many more water ran after that. I moved out of my town, got married, got separated, and married again. Sometimes ago I came up to know that Celestino had died from osteoporosis problem. He’d done lots of surgery on his arm and lost one more leg before dying. Who told me that he had died by sending me a letter was Décio who also after the ride we had, became ones of Celestino’s best friend. I was told also that, he’d left one son for his wife to raise. His wife’s name was Rojani, the lovely brunette from our tour.
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When I tell this story many people don’t believe by the tone politically correct, but those were other times, manners and customs.