Chapter 3
Mice R Nice
Mum’s mad at Rob, but she never stays mad. The mice are allowed to stay — Mum doesn’t believe anyone should be homeless. So they live in the hallway on the hall stand now. Nanna loves watching them run around. Puss loves watching them too. (Mainly because she wants to eat them, so we have to be careful to lock the cage door.) Anna’s mouse, Frank, lives with Patch and Spot. Mrs Napoli is scared of mice like Mum. But unlike Mum, no one can make Mrs Napoli un-scared, not even Rob or Mr Napoli. It means Frank lives at our place. It means Anna visits even more. Mum says that Anna’s part of the family.
Nanna always waits for us when we come home from school. The problem is her ears. I bang and bang on the front door. Nanna can’t hear the knocking of course. The TV is blaring so loudly no one can hear anything. ‘Stop banging, Jack. You’re making my head hurt.’ I ignore Samantha.
I find the house keys. ‘Nanna. Nanna,’ I call out. We throw our bags into the entrance hall. Anna turns off the TV and we look for Nanna. There is no Nanna in the lounge room. No Nanna in her bedroom, but there is snoring coming from the kitchen. There she is with her mouth open and her hair done — fluffed and hard. Her top and bottom teeth are lying on the table. Her skirt is caught on the arm of her favourite lounge-chair and she is flashing her purple underpants. Anna and Samantha giggle. I grab an apple as the girls tiptoe out. Only an explosion will wake her up, so I stomp after them.
We go to check the mice. Anna squeals when she picks Frank up by his tail and drops him in the palm of her hand. I can’t stop laughing when Frank leaves a plop. Mice are poo machines. Anna laughs too. I nudge her.
‘Knock, knock.’
‘Who’s there?’
‘Frank.’
‘Frank who?’
Everyone cracks into laughter. Then it’s work time. I take out the mice and put them in a cardboard box. Anna and Samantha start to clean the mouse-house. I hang around for a bit, but I have stuff to do. ‘I’ve got to check my ponto.’
‘You never clean anything, Jack. It’s unfair. You have to help clean the mouse-house!’ Samantha flips her pony-tail at me.
‘I’ve got scientific experiments to record.’ I shake my head. ‘Science is important.’
Nanna’s awake now and wobbling toward us. ‘Jack is such a clever scientist.’
‘Jack’s clever all right, Nanna. At getting out of work.’
I make a face at Samantha, until I see Anna. I look serious. ‘I’ve just got a few things to do. I’ll be back soon.’ Anna gets very focused when she’s in the middle of a job. She won’t notice I’ve gone.
I check the fridge, squeeze some oranges, have a drink and take some more photos of my ponto. Then I’m back in the hallway carrying the cardboard box with the mice. The mice like the clean mouse-house with new sawdust and little pieces of apple Anna left in their food bowl. Nanna’s face shines as she adds a nibble of cheese. I’ve told Nanna that mice are not allowed to have cheese because it makes them too fat. Nanna’s beaming. I guess it’s OK as a special treat.
Rob’s people-mover veers into the driveway. We race to the front door. A hand waves from the car window. It’s Mum’s, then I see Rob’s head and laugh. It’s more prickly than usual. He’s had another one of his special haircuts. I feel my head. Maybe I need one too. As he gets out of the car, Samantha runs to him and tries to scratch his prickles.
‘Hey, watch out. You could mess it up.’ Rob tickles her stomach. Then he winks at Anna.
I bound across the lawn. I’ve got to tell Rob about how fast my ponto is growing. He didn’t believe I could make it again. ‘Get out of the way, Samantha.’
Rob and I grab the groceries from the car. Mum is in the kitchen already. She made pasta on the weekend, so she just has to heat it up for dinner. I’m starving. Plates set, glasses out, salad cut and chopped and overflowing its bowl. Bread and butter. Nanna is waiting in her chair. Anna sits in the guest spot at the table next to me. The smell of melting cheese and tomatoes puffs through the air and I try not to dribble. Mum piles everyone’s plates.
I’ve got a mouthful of pasta when Rob blurts out, ‘Leo’s staying next weekend.’ Rob glances at me. ‘We can go surfing. Surf report says there’ll be good conditions.’
I love surfing. But Leo? My stomach sinks. Leo’s everywhere these days. Mum put two photos of him on the fridge door. One in his school uniform and one baby picture, next to baby photos of Samantha and me.
‘I always wanted more kids. I love you visiting, Anna. And there’s Leo now.’ Mum looks at the photo-covered fridge. Her eyes go watery. Oh no, I can feel a sentimental moment coming. I can’t take it and try to detour her. ‘Great salad.’
Samantha butts in. ‘Oh, that’s a cute picture of Puss and Nanna. Hey, Mum, look at that photo of you and Jack.’ Mum’s eyes stop on the photo of her holding me after I was born. Her eyes are getting even more watery. Danger, danger. Nanna is concentrating. Is she going to tell that dumb fish story when I swallowed a fish and pooped it out? I was only two. Nanna coughs. No story, it’s just a bit of bread caught in her teeth. The bread’s out now.
Mum is looking at my baby photo. She puts down her fork. ‘Did you know that Jack didn’t want to be born?’
I groan. ‘Mum, we’ve heard this before.’
‘Anna hasn’t.’ Mum smiles.
‘She doesn’t want to,’ I pipe up.
‘I do, Jack.’ Anna’s a traitor.
‘Me too.’ Samantha squiggles next to Rob. She loves hearing this dumb story again and again.
That’s all the encouragement Mum needs. ‘Well, Jack was having such a great time in my stomach, he just decided to stay inside getting bigger and bigger. He was setting up a workshop.’ Everyone laughs. ‘Jack was hammering shelves inside me. He gave me a horrible stomachache.’
Can Mum stop? I yell out a joke. ‘Doctor, doctor, what can I do? I swallowed a hammer!
‘Doctor answers. Use a screwdriver instead.’
Mum ignores the joke. ‘Jack swam around, eating, experimenting. Jack and his hammer had to be dragged out of my stomach. He came out like a banana head.’ Mum starts laughing.
I can’t help laughing too. ‘Not everyone can look like a banana head.’
Rob pokes me. ‘That’s why Jack’s bananas.’ Everyone is moaning when Rob suddenly gets a bright idea. ‘Do you know what happened when Leo was born?’ No one wants to hear about Leo. ‘He wasn’t born with a hammer. He was born with a hose.’
‘What are you talking about, Rob?’ I kick the rug.
‘He came out and sprayed the doctor.’
‘Leo weed on the doctor.’ Samantha giggles.
That isn’t funny and I don’t care. Mum hugs Samantha. ‘You were beautiful when you were born. Even though you had no eyelashes.’ Samantha was born too early, which is why she didn’t have any. I don’t want to hear this story again. Mum’s gone all soppy. I guess it’s better than talking about Leo.
‘She has eyelashes now.’ Anna hugs Samantha too. Oh no. Mum extends her arms to me. I shake my head. I’m not joining in.
‘They put Samantha under special lights with a black blindfold over her eyes and fed her through a tube in her nose.’ More tears dot the corners of Mum’s eyes.
I roll my eyes. ‘Good that everyone was born, Mum.’ I put my you’ve-got-to-be-joking tone into it. No reaction. I glance at Anna. Definitely glad Anna was born but this has to stop. Tactical response. Change the topic. Mice. They love talking about mice. ‘Hey, everyone. The mice need feeding.’ I’m right. The mice discussion starts. Samantha likes their games. (My Spot is the best acrobat.) Mum thinks they smell. (They do.) Nanna still wants to give them cheese. Even Rob adds that mice don’t eat much. Saved by the mice.
Then Samantha asks the dumbest question. ‘Do you think the mice should meet Hector?’
‘No,’ I shout at Samantha who knows nothing about survival of the biggest. Hector is a good rat, but he’d kill Patch, Spot and Frank.
Leo’s staying this weekend. Mum has ordered me to clean my room. I don’t see why I have to. Mum told Samantha that she has to help me. I don’t want her to. My head is thumping and she’s humming. I grit my teeth. ‘Stop humming.’ She doesn’t. I ignore her.
There’s Wally the one-eyed stuffed cane toad on the floor. I dust him and stick him at the back of my cupboard. Cane toads have been eating our green frogs and making it hard for our honey bees. I don’t like Wally much any more. I slump onto my bed.
Finally Samantha stops humming. ‘Are you all right, Jack?’
I don’t say anything. She just hangs around like a bad smell. ‘Go away, Samantha.’
She sits on my bed. ‘Did you hear me? It’s Leo, isn’t it?’
‘It’s none of your business. Why don’t you go and do your hair?’
‘Leo’s all right.’
Can Samantha be quiet? ‘It’s not like Leo’s going to live here. Anyway, Rob is our dad.’
My throat is dry. Once I called Rob Dad, and he made a joke about it. Samantha calls him Dad sometimes and Leo calls him Dad all the time, but not me. I don’t care because Rob and I are mates. It’s not like I need a father. I don’t want a father. My head is throbbing.
Oh no, Nanna is shuffling along the hallway toward my room. I don’t want Nanna to be here now. Go away, Nanna. I stare at Nanna trying to make her leave. But she just keeps shuffling in and when she says hello, I see that she has left her bottom teeth somewhere again. Nanna plunks herself onto my chair. ‘Nanna, I’ve got to clean up my room.’ I jump off my bed and grab my waste-paper basket. Samantha picks up the overflowing one and we head for the outside garbage bin. When we come back Nanna is still sitting there. Go away, I want to shout at her.
Nanna smiles. ‘You are such a wonderful boy, Jack.’ She looks at Samantha. ‘And you are a wonderful girl. I am so lucky to have you both.’ Her green eyes sparkle and I feel like a rotten person and Leo is coming.