I stare at the silver cock ring I made just a few days ago. I thought I’d lost the thing, but this makes so much more sense somehow.
There are pieces I should be able to put together, but they just aren’t there. Pan—the Pan—has the cock ring. That was made for him. How he came into possession of it is no doubt part of what I’m missing, but all I’m left with is an undeniable urge to climb the big, beefy satyr like a tree.
I’m so fucking conflicted right now. I want my memories back, but if what Vesh and Pan suggest is true, I had some kind of crazy menage with them and they made me forget. I should be pissed, right?
But I’m just too damn fascinated by everything that’s happening that I can’t bring myself to be upset. I gingerly slide the jeweled ring off Pan’s fingers and reach up, dropping it over the tip of the void glass dildo that remains suspended in front of me. It slides down with a little clink, coming to rest at the very base.
“For the record, I wouldn’t have let him erase your memories if I knew that’s what he was going to do,” Pan says.
“If you both were there, you could just tell me what happened and we wouldn’t have to relive it,” I suggest.
“I’m fine with that,” Vesh says. “But would it really be enough for you?”
He gives me an earnest look, and I absently rub my wrists where he grabbed me earlier. The heat of his hands lingers in tingling cuffs that haven’t disappeared since I made him release me. Being close to him on the trip here felt good. It felt right. And neither of them are looking at me like they’re hoping to nail me right now. They both look a little worried, but maybe it’s because of what Vesh said earlier—that I’m dangerous. Based on Vesh’s expression at the time, I know it was my fault the place shook like we were experiencing a minor earthquake.
I glance between them, heart pounding. Not with fear, though; no, that would make too much fucking sense, wouldn’t it?
Psychologists say that your body remembers trauma even if your mind blocks it out. Does the same thing apply to pleasure? If they both fucked me stupid, and I liked it, is the coiled desire deep in my belly my body’s memory of the experience and desire to revisit it?
I try to form some sort of pros and cons list in my head, but the hovering void glass dick is too goddamn distracting. I sketched it—and its owner—the night before crafting it, then rubbed one out while staring at the sketch. And the first night I got to use it is still a vivid memory, even if what happened immediately afterward is gone.
Without even realizing I’m going to do it, I grab the thing and push back onto the bed.
“You promise this will work?” I ask, dropping the dildo on one pillow before leaning down to start unbuckling my bootstraps.
Both of them stare at me for a beat before Vesh slowly nods and rises. “Yes. We’ll let you have some privacy. Just remember to use the essence.”
“No. You’re not leaving me alone in here. I don’t trust you not to lock me in. You’re both going to stay and watch.”
Pan takes a hopeful step closer and Vesh reclaims his seat on the footlocker.
“Whatever you wish,” Vesh says.
“You know, if we’re going to be here anyway, we could help,” Pan says with a smirk. That’s when I notice the luxurious dark fur covering his hips and groin swells in front, making it clear it isn’t actual pants.
A smooth, round, dark pink thing protrudes ever so slightly a few inches below his navel at the peak of a thick ridge beneath the fur. A sheath—a fur-covered sheath that protects his hardening cock.
I stare unabashedly while I pull off my boots, fascinated by the way his cock gradually protrudes as it grows harder.
I force my gaze to his face, warmth pooling deep in response to the raw hunger in his eyes. My nipples prick against my bra when I grab the hem of my top and pull it over my head, then meet his gaze.
“I want to see your faces when I get my memories back. Then we can talk about what happens after.”
“Can I at least have the ring back? You made it for me, after all.”
I finish sliding off my pants and grab the dildo to retrieve the ring, which I toss back to him. For a moment I feel like I’m in a reverse Cinderella story, waiting for him to put it on to see if it fits. His cock and lightly fur-covered balls are fully visible now, and he slides the silver ring over his tip and down. It fits exactly as it fit the dildo, until he gets to the base. It’s meant to sit behind his balls, though, and for a moment, I think I must be wrong. But another errant memory flits just out of reach in my mind when he squeezes himself just enough to soften so he can fit both supple orbs through the wide circle. Then he looks at me and strokes himself back to full hardness, one eyebrow lifted as if he’s amused by my fascination.
“Don’t stop on my account.”
I drop the dildo to the bed beside me so I can shed my bra and panties. I hazard a glance at Vesh, belly fluttering with a strange tangle of anticipation and uncertainty. He’s sitting with his elbows on his knees, attention fixed on me. But other than the dark sparks in his eyes, there is no other sign that me getting naked is affecting him. At least not until I push my panties down my legs and he casually reaches out to pluck them off my right foot.
He lifts an eyebrow as he dangles my panties from one finger, staring at the sodden patch in the crotch. They’re black lace except for that small triangle of cotton, which is obviously saturated with my arousal, so much so it glistens.
“What?” I ask in a throaty tone. “I’m not scared of either of you.”
“This is quite the opposite of scared, Nemea.”
“Should I be scared?” I challenge.
He tilts his head and twists his mouth to one side. “Not scared, no. But perhaps not so enthusiastic, either. We aren’t what you would call good people.”
“Is there something wrong with being enthusiastic about getting myself off?” I pick up the dildo and scoot back against the pillows a little farther so I’m sitting up while I spread my legs. I bite my lower lip as I cut my gaze to Pan where he still stands a few feet from the bed, his huge cock standing proud. The dildo has the exact same size, shape, and gentle curve to it as the real thing it was modeled after. The real one is fucking resplendent with the shining cock-ring at its base.
And he’s right here. I could have him in the flesh if I just asked. But I still don’t want to ask. This may be the last time I can assert any power of my own until I learn to actually use my real power. I don’t want to waste it.
I tear my gaze away from Pan’s glorious shaft and grip the open perfume bottle between two fingers. Keeping my gaze on Vesh I tilt it and trickle the contents out slowly. The fluid inside has an iridescent glow it didn’t have when I put it in the bottle, and it tingles when it lands on my skin, trickling down over my breasts. The mix of earthy and spicy hits my nostrils and I inhale deeply, my body tingling with deeper arousal when the scent seeps in.
I lean back slightly to keep the perfume from flowing off entirely and push my breasts together so it pools between them.
Vesh’s gaze drops, fixing on my cleavage. He tilts his chin up a little. “Rub it into your breasts.”
“Why? Because it needs to soak into my skin to work?”
He smirks. “Because I want to watch you coat your tits in my semen, Nemea. My essence, Pan’s essence, and yours. All three are distilled together in that bottle. It embodies our joining. It will help you restore what you lost.”
“What you took from me,” I say, glaring at him even as I swipe a finger between my breasts and coat each nipple in the fluid. I tease one, then the other, until they’re both hard, then release my breasts and push both hands up between them, sliding through the slick fluid. The now empty bottle bumps to the side, but I leave it on. Now that I know it’s part of him, I don’t intend to take it off.
“What I took from you,” he relents.
“Is this really the only way to get my memories back? Can’t you just snap your fingers and make it happen?”
“It could damage your mind if I did that. Better to ease them back into you through sensory prompts. Breathe.”
I take another deep breath as I massage my breasts, aware of my audience of two and the way the scents I’m bathing in evoke both of them so well. I feel the memories, but can’t see them yet, as if they’re obscured behind a heavy curtain, whispering to each other.
The dildo bumps against my thigh, and without looking at it, I heft it in one hand and rest it between my breasts before resuming my slow massage. A dribble of liquid makes it down my belly to pool in my navel, the tickle of it arousing me more. I grip the dildo and draw the tip down my sternum to my navel, coating the bulbous head in the liquid before lowering it between my thighs. Then I rest the tip between my folds, twisting it to coat it in my juices before rubbing it around in circles over my clit. I’m hyperaware of their gazes on me, and of the fact that I’ve never done something like this before. Not that I’ve ever had the opportunity to.
Except I have. Just a few days ago, if what they say is true. And hell yes, I want to remember it if it’s true. If it did happen, and if I’m letting it happen again, what does that say about me?
That you have nothing to be ashamed of, I tell myself. Only that I didn’t take their bait and agree to fuck them when I don’t have to. I can get what I want this way. And the fact that I would happily fuck them only makes forcing them to watch even hotter.
It only takes a few rubs of my clit before I need a breather, but I’m determined to torture them a little before I finish. I slide the dildo down and press it to my opening. I remember this part at least, but it isn’t quite right. The first time I used it I wasn’t lying down. So I sit up and shift onto my knees, then reposition the dildo between my thighs. It’s big enough that I only have to lower myself a little before it’s braced between me and the bed. I try to release my grip to drop lower and push onto it, but the curve makes it slide up through my folds until it wobbles and nearly falls. I reach down to grab it.
“Pan, help her hold it still,” Vesh says.
“Sure thing, boss.” He steps closer, and I shake my head.
“I can do it.”
“I have no doubt,” Vesh says. “But I’d like to watch you enjoy yourself without having to worry about logistics. Let him help.”
“That would defeat the purpose of making you watch.”
Pan halts, then shifts around to the foot of the bed to stand beside Vesh. “Maybe your brother can help.”
Brother? My eyes widen.
Vesh’s eyebrows lift and he glances around the room. “Erebus, come out. I know you’re here.”
Nothing happens, and the two of them look at each other. “I guess he obeyed your orders for once,” Pan says.
Vesh’s gaze shifts to the distance, his eyes unfocusing just like they did when I was positive the two of them were telepathically communicating. A moment later the room darkens, a faint shadow gliding around the walls and floor, then stilling.
“Nemea, meet Erebus. Since he wasn’t present during the event you’re trying to remember, would you allow him to help?”
“I don’t see anyone…” I begin, but then the shadows shift and take the vague shape of a large man just to one side of Vesh. He raises a hand and waves.
“You just invited him in to watch?” I ask, incredulous.
“Not just watch. He’ll help, since you’re so intent on masturbating while Pan and I watch. I can ask him to leave if you’re uncomfortable.” He glances at my bag where it lies on the foot of the bed. Erebus was one of the sketches in my sketchpad, and he knows it.
I sit back on my heels, the dildo forgotten between my knees. “How many of them are here? Are you going to invite them to help too?”
“If you wish, though I don’t think there’s room on my bed for all of them. But they are already watching.”
Panicked, I stare around the windowless room. One side features a wide window overlooking the web of dark bridges surrounding the tower. Bright torches line them, attached to support columns. But I see no one hovering outside looking in. Confused, I return my gaze to Vesh, and he taps his temple.
“I am the prison, Nemea. They are inside me.”
“But we’re in the prison, aren’t we?”
He shrugs. “It works how it works. I embody the place, and the place embodies me. What matters is that all my guards are linked to me and will do my bidding. Do you want more of them here in the flesh? I can introduce you to them all now without even bringing them into the room.”
I have to sit and let that process for a moment, and it’s a fucking struggle to push back the sense of pure desire and get to the root of what I actually want. A fucking audience. Not just the two men whose presence is tied to my memories, but more. One is already here, but his presence is perhaps the easiest to overlook.
The fact that I’m even more turned on is what finally clinches the decision. I guess I’m a bit of an exhibitionist.
“How many?”
“I think you know the answer,” Vesh says.
Right. I sketched all of them. All nine of them.
“And they all want to watch?”
He tilts his gaze to the ceiling for a beat as if counting in his head, then nods and chuckles. “Unequivocally.”
“Wasn’t one of them a woman?”
“Campe? Yes. But she’s a dragon, so…” He shrugs.
I sit quietly, staring at him and over the course of several seconds I’m positive his eye color changes, shifting from the strange sparking ultraviolet through several other colors before returning to its original shade.
“What’s going on inside your head?” I ask, awed.
“A lot of intense curiosity about you. But I asked them to stay silent and scarce so as not to frighten you. I suppose we didn’t need to worry about that as much as I thought, did we?”
“I have a pretty strong constitution,” I say.
“Of that, I have no doubt. But I’ve just been reminded that we’re here for a specific purpose, and they ask that you get on with it.”
I blink at him, my cheeks heating. I’m suddenly overcome by stage fright now that I know my audience is four times the size I thought. And a few of the creatures watching aren’t anything close to human, if my sketches are accurate.
The shadow by Vesh’s side becomes slightly more solid. Just enough that I can make out facial features and a vaguely male shape with broad shoulders and a muscled torso. No dick, though, which I should not be disappointed about. But my staring doesn’t go unnoticed, because he cups his groin then makes a series of hand gestures.
“Did he just sign to me? What did he say?” I ask, turning to Vesh.
“Erebus is mute, but he can hear you. He asked if it would make you more comfortable if he showed his true shape, or if there’s another shape you’d like. He’s basically liquid, so he can be anything.”
“I think I already know what he looks like. I want honesty here. I want the truth.” I look at Erebus, who nods, his body solidifying further. The results are more disconcerting than I expected. He’s so dark I feel like I’m staring into a void rather than looking at a man. If not for reflections of iridescent light here and there, I’d believe he was no more than a man-shaped opening in the universe.
But his shape is more concrete now, with sharply defined cheekbones, a square jaw, and pointed ears. His body is lithe and muscular, his strength evident in the flex of his muscles. There are other features that should frighten me, such as his fingers tipped in sharp claws, his oddly angled legs that look like they belong to a beast, and the sharp spurs protruding from his elbows, wrists, ankles, and vertebrae. And of course now he has a cock, and it’s enormous, with spurs of its own running the length of it. All of it flickers in and out of focus, like he’s a mirage fabricated by my delirious mind.
But when he comes forward and bows, then climbs onto the bed, it’s clear he has mass. He pauses in front of me, points at himself then the spot behind me.
“Um, sure. I suppose it makes sense for you to be there.”
My skin prickles as he moves into position. He doesn’t touch me, though, and when Vesh’s attention shifts past my shoulder, I crane my neck to find Erebus signing again.
Vesh nods. “May he touch you?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
When he signs instead of touching me, I look at Vesh again. He frowns and shakes his head.
“You have chaos in you, Nemea. If you allow it, he can speak into your mind. That will make this easier.”
“Will it hurt?” I ask, only vaguely aware of the disconnect: I’m not afraid of being naked in a room with three strange, god-like creatures. What I’m afraid of is having my mind invaded again. I swallow and glance over my shoulder. “Not that I don’t trust you… I mean, I shouldn’t, but I do… It’s just that a few hours ago, I had someone else in my head, and it did not go well.”
Erebus shakes his head and raises a hand, cupping my jaw with the gentlest touch before sliding his other arm around my waist to pull me back against him. I let out a soft gasp as he cradles me against his chest, then brings his mouth down to mine. His kiss is firm and skilled, and entirely focused. His fingertips tighten against my chin, urging me to give, so I open for him with a soft sigh, finally relaxing against him. He slides his tongue between my lips, and it feels like he moans, but I realize the sound is entirely in my head.
Tentatively, I mentally reach out. “Are you here? Was a kiss all you needed?”
“As long as you trust me enough to let me in, that is all I need. You don’t need to do this for them, Nemea.”
“It isn’t for them. It’s for me. I need to remember. Will you help me?”
“Touching you is a privilege. I will do whatever you wish. But this is the only time I’ll fuck you without using my own cock.”
I swallow and pull back from the kiss, gazing up into the most intense eyes I’ve ever seen. This close I can see the subtler details in his features, the earnestness in his gaze. My stomach flips, because it’s crystal-clear that he means what he says.
“We might need to work up to that, okay? For now, just stick to the dildo.”
He nods and gives me a knowing smile before tilting his chin forward. “Hands and knees. Your body belongs to me for the next little while. You can tell me to stop when the memories return, or we can keep going. It’s entirely up to you. And if you want more than a glass phallus in your dripping wet cunt, there are many who will oblige.”