Chapter Sixty-Three

Stupid Garrett. He was to blame for this. He’d mentioned love, and Dane had started thinking about it. While he still didn’t think he was in love with Lena, he had to admit, he wouldn’t mind seeing her again when this was all said and done.

It would be nice to see how well they fit when they could just be together without all the stress and panic about the safety of their children. When they could just sit back and relax for a little while, when the only stress was the normal day-to-day kind that normal people dealt with.

It was obvious by her reaction she was not on board with that idea.

She’d looked at him as if he’d suggested they run off and get married that second.

Whatever. He’d be too busy, anyway. He was always too busy. He made sure of it. He didn’t need time to deal with things like relationships and romance.

He’d had that once, and he’d been forced to walk away. Deep down, he knew why he wouldn’t ever try to have that again. He hadn’t been enough for Caroline. He’d loved her and thought she’d loved him. But when push came to shove, she’d chosen money and things over him.

They’d gotten married way too young, and for no reason other than he’d wanted her to have his name and to make sure she wouldn’t leave him. It had been stupid. But generally speaking, twenty-year-old guys weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed. They were just plain tools.

He thought being married meant an unlimited supply of sex, cuddling, and sending each other sexy texts during classes. But it had also meant student loans, disagreements, and resentments. Three years later they’d had Tobey, which had realigned their expectations all over again.

Dane had been busy building his career and she’d been busy making them the perfect family. Or at least making sure they looked like the perfect family from the outside.

Inside, it was a lot of snipping at one another. They didn’t have a lot of all-out fights. It would have taken more energy than either of them had to work up to that much emotion. It hadn’t felt worth it to fight.

There had been a lot of silence. Sometimes he hadn’t even remembered why they weren’t speaking to one another. He thought maybe she’d lost track, too. They still slept in the same bed, but only because it was so large they never had to touch.

In the end, they had been nothing more than strangers, sharing a home and a baby.

Looking back, maybe it hadn’t been love. Maybe it had been two kids trying to pretend they were grownups.

Dane’s mother had died when he was ten and his father—the professor—had always been too busy to make them seem like a family. Dane had thought he had it all when he got married and landed a good job. When Tobey came along and they moved into a big house on a cul-de-sac, he’d thought his dreams of being a family had finally come true.

But it had all been pretend. A cardboard cutout of a real life.

He’d thought that was how it was for everyone. But then he’d seen the way Angel and Colton were. Not to mention Garrett and Samantha. They would do anything for their spouse. Even give up their old lives to be with the other person. Being in love wasn’t just words. They’d proven it.

Caroline hadn’t been willing to give up anything for Dane. Not the big house, not the fancy cars, and not the membership to the country club that they rarely even used. She hadn’t even taken a moment to think it over.

It had been a quick and simple no. And just like that, he’d been forced to make the biggest decision of his life.

Alone.

At least Lena hadn’t ever pretended. She was always real.

At the moment, she was concentrating on her target so intently her tongue was sticking out a little.

Just as she lined up her first shot, he reached out and clapped his hands right by her ear. She jerked and missed the target.

“Why the hell did you do that? You made me miss!”

She was cute when she was angry. Not that he wanted to push her very far. She did have a gun, and let’s face it, his track record with women shooting him was pretty bad.

“When we go into the complex,” he said, “it won’t be as serene as a shooting range in the trees. It could be loud. There could be distractions. There could be people shooting back at you.”

He swallowed down the worry from his last statement. He didn’t want to think about that. It wasn’t something he ever thought about going into a mission. Everyone knew the dangers. They didn’t need to dwell on them.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have the luxury of letting things go unsaid.

“You need to be able to find your focus and keep it no matter what is going on around you,” he explained.

“How do I do that?” She appeared to honestly want to know, so he did his best to answer.

He pursed his lips. “It’s different for everyone. Justin murmurs to himself. I asked him once what he was saying, and he told me it was the list of things he needed to handle. Like take out this person, cover the other person, move out of the way. That kind of thing.”

“How do you do it?” she asked.

He shrugged and glanced away, not really sure how to explain his tactic. But he knew he couldn’t hold back even the smallest piece of information if it might help her.

“I put myself in a bubble.” That was the best way to describe it.

Her brows came together in confusion.

“It’s imaginary, of course. But I’m in my bubble, and nothing can get to me inside it.”

“This bubble is bulletproof?” She twisted her mouth as she considered. She didn’t laugh or even smirk. She was obviously taking this seriously.

He wanted to lean down and kiss those lips until they relaxed into the softness he’d been missing since they walked into the lodge that morning. But he didn’t. He didn’t want to distract her. Not in that way, at least.

“Yes,” he said. “Metaphorically speaking, the bubble is impenetrable.”

“I see.” She nodded and raised the gun. “Okay. Try it again.”

He spent the next ten minutes making noises and trying to pull her focus away from the target while she ignored him and concentrated.

She hit her mark every time.

“Very good,” he praised her with a big smile.

She smiled back. “I was in my bubble.”

“Do you think I could come into the bubble for a minute?” He moved closer and bent his head, his lips hovered an inch from hers.

“Yeah, come on in. It’s bulletproof, not kiss-proof.”

Her arms wound around his neck, and when he moved his hands around her waist to pull her closer, he encountered the gun in the back of her pants.

“God, that is sexy,” he said with a groan.

“I don’t get it.”

“Let’s go back to our cabin, and I’ll try to explain.”