Auntie Shawn
Damn, I’mma be late as hell. I’m hungry too.
RING! RING!
“Where the hell is my phone? Hello? Helllooo?”
Here we go with all that prank calling bullshit. Let me call Meechie’s lil ass and let him know I’m on my way before he lose his mind.
“Nephew? I’m walking outta the door right now.”
“Okay, we all over here. Hurry up!”
“I am. I--- Shit! The power just went out. Did you leave that damn fan plugged in again?”
“No.”
“I’m on the way.”
I hung up the phone and tried to make my way through the kitchen to the drawer so I could get my flashlight.
BAM!
“SHIT!”
I hit my damn shin on the damn coffee table. I grabbed the light and headed for the basement. As I made my way down the stairs, I could have sworn that I heard somebody giggling.
“Who the fuck is in here?”
No answer. I heard the giggling again.
“Who the fuck is playing with me?”
I moved the flashlight back and forth. I didn’t see shit. I found the breaker box and tried to find the main power switch.
“Hi Shawn.”
I looked. “Lil Man? What the fuck are you doing in my basement?”
“Um, I came to give you a message for Young.”
“So you had to turn my lights off to do it? Lil boy if you don’t turn my lights back on, I’mma kick yo ass. Turn them back on NOW!”
This crazy lil shit started to giggle again. Something ain’t right and I need to get the fuck outta this basement with him. My gun was upstairs on the kitchen counter. Shit!
“Turn these lights back on and meet me upstairs.”
I turned to walk away. Sadly, that was the mistake that cost me my life.
“On your way to hell, could you tell my mommy I miss her.” He raised his gun and…
BOOM!
“Aghhh!” I dropped to my knees.
“Why? I took care of you.”
“Bitch please. You never liked me anyway. Just die.”
BOOM! BOOM!
“Two to the head, and now this bitch is dead!”
Lil Mama
“I’m glad that everyone is here. Y’all lucky I felt like cooking.”
Everyone laughed. Looking around the table, I felt so much love. In a matter of months, we’ve managed to take over the streets. It’s not what we did; it’s how we did it…low key! My niece and her friends got that ski mask shit on lock. Jaw and Poohman’s team are able to do what they are doing because for one, they are not greedy. They share the wealth.
Taking over doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to rule everything. As long as you and your team is eating right and living well, life is great. We bow down to NO ONE! Any threats will be properly disposed of. Tonight we’re taking out the trash.
“Okay, shut the fuck up so I can pray. My stomach is touching my back.”
I looked at Meechie. “Where the hell is Shawn?”
“I dunno. I been calling her. Start, she’ll be here. Ain’t no way she ‘bout to pass up some good ass food. Who’s praying?”
“My house, my prayer. Bow your heads. Father God, I pray to you asking that you bless us all in a very special way. Touch all of us, Father God. Protect us from the enemies that surround us. Forgive us for our sins. Let us enjoy this dinner and each other’s company. Protect us as we attempt to eliminate our enemies. God be with us. Amen!”
“Damn, Lil Mama this food good as shit. Will you marry me?”
“Shut up Jaw!”
Boo
“Joke time. Lil Mama? Remember when we was in Danbury and you beat the shit outta that ugly ass girl, Carey?”
“Here we go.”
JuJu was the first to speak. “Who was Carey?”
“This old Dwyane Wade-looking ass bitch that was tryna fuck with my girlfriend.”
All the kids screamed, “GIRLFRIEND?”
“Yes girlfriend. I had a lil piece in there.”
Boo smiled. “Remember when you whooped Swag’s ass in the hallway?”
“You play too much.”
Now it was Heidi’s turn to clown. “Who the fuck is a Swag?”
Lil Mama just rolled her eyes. “Boo, fuck you bitch. Don’t get too drunk hoe. We got moves to make.”
After about another two hours of joking and laughing, it was time to get shit cracking.
“Heidi and Lil Mama? Come here.”
We walked to Lil Mama’s room and finalized our plans.
“Me and Heidi ‘bout to go see that nigga A.”
“Where he live?”
“On 67th and South Shore Drive. I gotta go see Pete before we go over there. Pete supposed to have a key card for the downstairs door. Don’t ask. What’s the deal with that nigga Tank?”
“Him and his bitch are holed up in an apartment in Englewood, bitch. All that money and he wanna stay in the hood.”
“I guess he feels protected over there. Boo, there’s a gang of GD’s over there. Shit, we gotta move on him like now.”
I shook my head. “Damn, you ain’t got Lucky’s number?”
“Yeah, he gon make sure we get in the crib. He can’t stand Tank. He said the nigga ain’t letting them eat over there.”
“See, what’d I just tell you? Can’t be greedy. The hood’ll turn on you.”
I looked at Lil Mama. “Don’t let Meechie kill his momma.”
“I told Shawn, I got that. I’mma rock that hoe to sleep. Don’t worry.”
I hugged her. “Be careful, lil sis.”
Heidi rolled her eyes. “Boo, let’s go. She gon be aight.”
Lil Mama gave her a look. All I could do was put my head down.
“Heidi, you’sa jealous ass bitch.”
“How about this jealous bitch fuck you up?”
“I’m not even ‘bout to play with yo big ass.”
Lil Mama pulled out her 22. “I’mma pop yo ass in the kneecap, bitch.”
“What you think my son gon do?”
“What you think my niece gon do?”
I had enough. “Aight. Y’all sounding like some fucking five year olds right now. Shut up and let’s go!”