Lily was not a woman to be taken by surprise. Being kerpowed by Quaid the first time she saw him was exceptional. And the effect of that shock had not worn off. But otherwise she made it a point of honour to be prepared. Let Quaid suddenly propose a trip to Prague, Hamburg, Belgrade or Willesden and she’d be ready to depart in an hour. In the matter of luggage, she still followed the advice her mother gave her when she was a little girl and packed her suitcase in strict compliance with a list she’d made earlier. Excluding the small and unremarkable personal items without which no woman of fashion can be expected to travel comfortably, this is Lily’s packing list for the period of which we’re speaking:
1 feather boa
1 pair of thigh-high leather boots
1 pair of patent leather shoes with spiked four-inch heels
4 pairs of black stockings
1 rhinestone flogger
2 sets of wrist shackles fitted with aluminous karabiners
2 sets of ankle shackles, ditto
Sundry clamps
2 corsets
1 pair of long black gloves
1 studded leather choker
1 plaited leather belt with a snake’s head buckle
1 length of rope
1 pair of scissors
1 bicycle chain
1 pair of pliers
1 Swiss Army knife
1 blindfold
1 ball-gag face mask
1 copy of Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park
1 box of rubber gloves (small)
1 tub of nitric oxide cream
1 box of Elastoplast (assorted sizes)
Savlon
In the unlikely event of her mother seeing this list she would have been concerned that her daughter hadn’t made sufficient provision for cold nights and taken a cashmere cardigan.
As for Hal, it was a rule strictly observed between them in recent years that neither would so much as notice the contents of the other’s luggage. They were too wise and too well mannered to spy. Why risk discovering what might upset you or lower the other person in your regard? It was only because they happened to be travelling at the same early hour of the morning that Hal mistook her bag for his and opened it in order to throw in a novel by John le Carré.
He no sooner got the gist of what was in the case than he closed it again. It wasn’t for him to ask why, how, or who.
Was he jealous?
A foolish question. Jealousy lies coiled like a sleeping adder round even the most historic lover’s heart. Yesterday, today, tomorrow – no one’s safe. Lily and Hal did as well as anybody at putting it behind them. Magnanimity – that was the only antidote. Wanting happiness for someone else. The words ‘What the fuck?’ must have passed through Hal’s mind, but after that he wanted only to be sure she knew what she was doing. He held her in high esteem. Nothing that he saw, or imagined he saw, in her suitcase could have changed that. But she was independent and headstrong. She might do anything to show she was afraid of nothing. He wanted to tell her she could call on his support whatever she was up to, should that entail her getting into difficulty. But what she was up to and what trouble that might land her in, he had no idea. And he couldn’t ask. If the contents of her suitcase meant no more than that she was off with someone to a tarts and vicars party he’d look silly prying. If they meant a whole lot more than that he guessed how mortified she would be to know he knew. Though he no longer loved her as a lover, he loved her as one who would spare her every pain, and that might just be the best kind of love there is.
He hugged her tightly before they went through different departure gates and told her to take good care of herself.