9

 

Maggie walked Gypsy around the streets in the cold, crisp early morning. Her dreams had been full of disturbing images from her past. Scenes she’d spent years putting behind her and didn’t want to deal with again. She glanced behind, scared of every shadow, every sound. She knew without a doubt where she’d seen Carson before. But at least with him locked up, she didn’t have to face him. She had time to sort through the mess of emotions. She loved him, but he—

Her phone rang and she jumped, heart pounding. “H—hello?”

“Maggie, it’s Carson. They dropped the charges. I thought you should know.”

“Th—that’s good.” She stumbled over the words.

“The CCTV footage and your testimony showed it wasn’t me. Thank you. I was wondering if Pilot and I could join you and Gypsy for a stroll around the park.”

“I’m on my way home, sorry. Busy at work.”

“Oh…OK.” He sounded disappointed. “Will I see you tonight? I could cook dinner.”

“I’ll see you at the church meeting.” She hung up, bile rising in her throat. She coughed, her heart breaking. She needed to talk to someone, but there wasn’t anyone. Pastor Jack was in the States, Jan would side with Frank, and Nate was a cop. She would call Patricia, but she was already at work.

Walking slowly, Maggie found herself outside the church. She pulled the keys from her pocket and unlocked the huge door. She tied Gypsy outside and let herself in. Deactivating the alarm system, she locked the door again and headed through the dark corridor into the chapel. Her footsteps echoed in the darkness. The only light came from the stained glass window from the breaking dawn.

Her steps faltered as she reached the front. She dropped to her knees on the boards that covered the baptistry and looked up at the pulpit.

“It’s not fair!” Her anguished cry echoed around the chapel. “After all this time, it’s not fair of You to do this. Not now. I was over it. The therapy had worked. No more dreams, no more checking behind doors or sleeping with the light on. Eight years and I finally wasn’t afraid anymore.”

Her voice rose as she gave into the fear, anger and betrayal within her. “How could You do this and bring it all back? Wasn’t once enough? I didn’t ask for this. Not then and not now. I miss Ted every single day. My brother got shot and died in that bank raid and I had to watch. Isn’t that enough for you, God? What more do You want? Because I can’t do this anymore. I want…I want Carson, but You’ve taken him, too. Made it so we can’t ever be together—because I’ve fallen in love with the man who was there, holding the gun. Not now. It’s not fair.”

Tears streamed down her face, and she fell face down. The sun rose slowly, its rays warm on the back of her neck, as she lay there yelling and crying. “Why?”

Her voice broke and her prayers became silent, interspaced with sobs and she railed and poured her heart out to God.

 

****

 

Carson’s heart pounded, fit to burst, as he ran through Victoria Park. Where was she? He, Nate and several other officers and people from the church were scouring the dark streets looking for her, but Maggie had vanished. Numerous scenarios had filled his mind ever since she’d been reported missing and none of them ended like this. He was worried sick, trailing the streets, wondering if she’d been shot or stabbed and left to die.

He couldn’t lose her, not now. At least the cops didn’t suspect him of foul play. After all, he’d been the last person to speak with her. But that had been twelve hours ago, just after six in the morning. No one had seen or heard from her since.

God, please, I know I seem to be calling in a lot of favors right now, and You’ve done heaps for me the past day or so, but please… Maggie is missing. I know where I first saw her and why she looked familiar that first day. She was in the bank. If she’s remembered…maybe that’s why she’s run. But I need to apologize for not saving her brother, for pointing a gun at her head, for threatening her life…

And if it’s not too much to ask…Lord, I love her. I know that it’s too soon, but I know my heart and if she’s the one You have set aside for me…let me know. But first we need to find her.

His phone rang and he pulled the handset from his pocket. He didn’t stop running, his eyes scouring the path and bushes in case she lay hurt. “Hello…”

“It’s Nate, where are you?”

“Victoria Park. There’s no sign of her anywhere. I’m running out of places to look. Have you found her?”

“Meet me at the Haddon Drive entrance. Elliott just spotted a dog tied up outside the church. He thinks it’s Gypsy, but isn’t sure. He’s gone home for his set of church keys, but I thought this might be faster, assuming you’ve got your keys on you. I’m on my way now.”

“I have. Give me two minutes to cross the park.” Carson put his phone away and sped up. He hadn’t run like this since he left school. The same prayer echoed in his mind as he ran. Let her be all right…

 

****

 

Stiff and cold, Maggie pushed up to her knees, raising a tear stained face to the pulpit. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore. But I am. I gave my heart to someone I shouldn’t have. To the man who was there when Ted died, to the person who pointed a gun at me and told me—” She broke off. “But I know You’re in control. Help me to trust and not be frightened.”

Footsteps trotted down the aisle. A wet nose nudged her and then doggy breath assailed her as Gypsy barked.

“Who let you in?” she whispered.

More footfalls echoed. “You remember?” Carson asked, kneeling beside her.

Maggie turned to look at him, holding Gypsy tightly. “Yeah. I saw it in my dreams every night for weeks. You pointing a gun at me, and then trying to save Ted’s life after that kid shot him. He was my brother. I didn’t recognize you at first. I knew I’d seen you somewhere, and assumed it was walking the dog in the park. I should’ve twigged when you told me your story, but I didn’t. Maybe I didn’t want to. But you being arrested brought it all back. Now the dreams are back and I’m scared and I’m not safe anywhere.”

“You are safe.”

“No. Wesley is threatening me. I see gunmen on every street corner, in every shadow. I got Gypsy to protect me, but…” She broke off, her voice trembling.

“Wesley won’t bother you anymore. He’s behind bars. He tried to frame me for the murder, but it didn’t work. And it’s thanks to Gypsy we found you.”

Maggie looked up, confusion running rife through her. Nate stood behind Carson. The lights were on in the chapel and it was dark outside. “I don’t understand. What time is it?”

“Almost six thirty in the evening.”

“What? I can’t have been here all day.”

Concern filled Carson’s face. “Maggie, what time did you get here?”

“After you rang me this morning. I found myself here and came in to yell at God.”

Nate dropped a hand onto Carson’s shoulder. “Take her into the vestry. I’ll call off the search and make you both some tea. Think you should talk before the meeting.”

 

****

 

Carson helped Maggie to her feet, thanking God they’d found her and she was unharmed. He slid an arm around Maggie’s waist as her legs buckled. “Lean on me. I won’t hurt you.”

“Have I really been here all day?”

“Yes.” He led her into the vestry and sat her down. “You didn’t get to work this morning. When Dane Philips arrived at the school for the carol service, Vicky’s teacher told him you were missing.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “I missed the carol service.”

“Dane called Nate, and Nate called me. We’ve been looking ever since. I didn’t think you’d be here though.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re safe, that’s all that matters.”

Nate came in. He put a tray of tea and sandwiches on the table. “People are arriving for the meeting. I’ll delay until seven fifteen. You’ll speak first and then need to leave.”

Carson nodded, his stomach upset at the thought of it. “OK.” He waited until Nate shut the door then turned back to Maggie. “Did yelling at God help?”

“Yeah. I know He heard me.”

He smiled. “He heard the cry of the afflicted Job 34:28. Did He answer?”

“I don’t know yet. But I’m not angry with Him anymore. It’s in His hands for Him to deal with.” She paused. “What will you do if the vote goes against you?”

“Leave.” He shrugged. “If God doesn’t want me here, then I’ll spend Christmas with my parents and find somewhere else to live.”

“But I’ll lose you—” She cut herself off, her hand covering her mouth. Wide eyes looked at him as if she’d spoken out of turn.

His heart skipped a beat then thudded a rapid rhythm that he wasn’t expecting. “Maggie?”

“When I heard you’d been arrested, I didn’t think I’d see you again. Part of me didn’t want to. I was so confused. But as today wore on, I knew only one thing. I don’t want to lose you.”

He gripped her hands. “Even if I was there when your brother died. If I pointed a gun at you?”

Maggie nodded. “You’re not the same man who robbed that bank eight years ago. You tried to save my brother just like you tried to save that man on Sunday. You’re not a killer, Carson. I know that, God knows that. God saved you for a reason and if it’s not to be here, then it’s someplace else.”

Nate peeked around the door. “We’re ready for you.”

Carson stood, keeping tight hold of Maggie’s hand. He walked with her into the chapel. Several icy stares met him, a few smiles, but the general atmosphere was chilly. And it wasn’t because the heating wasn’t on.

Maggie sat in the front row, with Gypsy by her side.

He stood in the pulpit for what could be the last time and looked out at the congregation. “I’m not going to say much. You knew who I was when you appointed me. I didn’t hide that. I can’t change my past. All I can do is point you to God, who knows my heart—”

He choked, annoyed with himself for letting his emotions show. “Who knows my—” He stopped, standing there like a fool.

Maggie stood and walked to the pulpit. In a few short steps, she was beside him, her hand in his. “If anyone has cause not to want Pastor Carson here, it’s me.

“Eight years ago, I went to the bank to pay a bill. Several masked men ran in. They told us to get on the floor or they’d shoot us. One of them pulled me against him and put a gun to my head to make sure everyone else did as they were told. But then, one of the other robbers killed the security guard. That security guard who died was my brother. The bank robber who threatened me, held me, was Pastor Carson.

“Ted…when Ted fell, Carson dropped his gun, let me go, and tried to save my brother’s life. Just like he did with that man in that London pub on Sunday evening.”

She paused for a moment. “He was on the phone to me when that man was stabbed. He tried to save his life, and that’s why he was covered in blood. If you really think he’s capable of murder, then we all are. It’s Christmas. God sent His Son into the world and we remember the tiny baby in Bethlehem. But that baby grew up into a man—Jesus Christ—who died on the cross to save sinners. That’s every single sinner, not just the socially acceptable ones. Jesus himself said he came to save the murderers, thieves and so on. Not the goody-goody’s. Carson has paid his debt to society. God has forgiven him. It’s time you put aside your feelings and let him do the job God called him here to do. Pastor the lost.”

Silence fell. She looked at Carson, the warmth of her smile matching the warmth flooding his heart. “We have some dogs that need walking. Let’s go.”

“Don’t you want to stay and vote?”

Maggie picked up a piece of paper from the pulpit and wrote on it. Then she folded it and put it in the voting box. “Done. Let’s get out here.”

Ten minutes later, they walked to the park. Carson held Maggie’s hand firmly in his. “I can’t believe you did that. You didn’t have to.”

“Yes, I did.” She glanced at him. “I meant every word. You’re a good man. Sure you made terrible mistakes and bad choices, but we all have. You go, I go.”

“You can’t.” Shock filled him. Was his mind making irrational leaps here, or was Maggie in her own way declaring her affection for him?

“I can and I will. I don’t intend to lose you, Carson.” Her hand touched his cheek for a brief moment. “I love you.”

Carson gathered her into his arms. “I love you, too.”

Her face was inches from his, her delectably kissable lips curved into a trademark Maggie smile. “Together forever,” she whispered, as he claimed those lips for his own.

Finally breaking off for air, he held her gaze. “How would you like to be a pastor’s wife? Or an ex-pastor’s wife, depending which way the vote goes?”