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Sirus and Tatiana cornered the injured Vincent, he had nowhere to go and yet he was still attempting to get away. He still tried to fight back. He lashed out at Sirus who easily dodged the lazy attempt. He even used his alpha call to try to pull the few who still followed him to come and help him. The call was weak but they would have to respond. Those few men were however restrained from answering the SOS. Tatiana’s men had efficiently subdued the handful of misguided wolves. Their numbers were scarce which was no doubt because of Vincent. He had either killed the others or chased them off, and most of the ones who remained seemed unwilling to continue the fight. What was the point of marching closer and closer to your own demise when your leader had obviously lost all that made him sane?
Between the two wolves appeared Mara, who with tears in her eyes, moved towards the Vincent. She was the cause of the torment, she was the spark that sent Vincent spiraling into insanity. It had to be her who brought it all to an end.
He moaned, yelped and licked the skin of the hand she held out to him. He even allowed her to rub his head and took comfort in her touch. Even as she approached to take his life, he still loved her; he wanted her more than ever. He would for an eternity. She quickly slipped behind him, and with a smooth flick of her wrist, she snapped his neck. Before she did, she leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “You were wrong, I loved you. I’m so sorry that it wasn’t enough, but I will love you, always.” He had no strength to fight her. The wound Malcom had inflicted on him had drained him of too much of his blood. As it was, he was barely holding himself upright. Though Mara had spoken true words, a truth she had only just realized herself, his last thoughts were that of doubt, of hate, of betrayal. He wanted her love but he would never be able to believe that she was capable of giving it to him,
Mara couldn’t pull herself away from him as he died. She stayed with Vincent’s body and watched as he shifted back to his human form. She made a mental recording of every detail and feature as he returned to her, the man she truly loved. She ran her hand across his head as his strong jaw shorted the that of a man, eyes closed, she would never see his hazel irises staring back at her again. She’d loved Vincent in that moment more than she ever had. She hurt for him and hated herself for the pain she’d caused him. She hated that his life had to end so soon and by her own hands. Mara lowered her lips to his and kissed him, holding on to some hope that he would respond but he did not, he was gone and she would never be able to make it up to him. She held him close to her and sobbed. She never wanted to lose him. For years, she had held on to the hope that he would return to her, that he would get over his jealousy. Hell, even if he had simply moved on from her, it would be better than him dying by her hand.
Tatiana had taken off, she needed to check on her men, but Sirus stood by Mara’s side and waited for her to be able to return to the rest of the group. She could feel his presence, though he said nothing and made no movements. He remained there in silence as a show of respect for her undeniable right to mourn, even if he couldn’t stand the bastard that she wept over.
“How could you cry for him?” Sirus asked as Mara finally moved to her feet. “After everything he has done, he tried to kill you and yet you still shed tears for this man.”
“How could I not?” Mara wiped her face clean of the blood that spilled from her tear ducts. “He loved me, he cared for me,”
“He was a tyrant who hurt so many people and destroyed countless lives. It’s a waste of your tears. Vincent had a heart that was cold as stone, he would never have cried over anyone even those he wrongfully sentenced to death himself.”
“How do you think his heart got that way?” Mara looked down to the lifeless body of Vincent. “How do you...” Sirus started to speak, but Mara cut him off.
“It was me, I made him that way. Why do you think he targeted me and not Malcom?” She looked away from Vincent’s body, the image of him lying there only made her heart ache more. “I broke his heart and he never recovered from that. I never really understood just how much I hurt him. If I had, if I had even tried to understand him or the way he felt, I may have been able to stop all of this from happening.”
“Mara, you have to know that you weren’t the reason he became who he was. You can’t blame yourself for him.” Sirus stepped closer to Mara, the vampire who was overwhelmed with emotion flinched as he neared her. Only two other wolves ever entered her personal space so freely and she’d hurt them both. Because of her, their worlds were shattered. She didn’t fear Sirus, but she feared what trusting her could do to him. As he laid his hand on her shoulder, her body stiffened.
“I can blame myself, and I will for an eternity. Nothing that has happened here was okay and it all could have been avoided if I had done right by him.” Mara avoided looking at Vincent’s body again. It would eventually be retrieved and buried by his people. Tyrant or not, he was an alpha and he’d receive the proper send off.
“I seriously doubt that, Mara. Vincent was a cruel man long before he met you. Yes, having his heart broken may have pushed him over the edge a bit quicker than his natural decline would have, but that man was true to himself, his actions were his own, his choices were the ones he would have made no matter what the reason for his internal pain. Even when we were younger, it was his friendship with Malcom that made him tolerable. No one thought he was fit to be Alpha, unfortunately that is a right often inherited when it should not be. Out of respect for his father no one challenged that decision.” Sirus sighed with a heavy heart. “I don’t know how he did it, but, Malcom kept Vincent in check, he kept him level headed. The moment Vincent sent Malcom away, we all knew what path he would go down. It was inevitable.”
“And yet you did nothing, why? All these years, even after his father was gone, why did none of you stand against him?” She met his eyes and could see his regret. She could see how he beat himself up for not acting sooner. There had to have been countless others who felt the same as him. Malcom included. How much of this could have been avoided had just one person taken a stand?
“We were foolish, perhaps cowardice or laziness kept us under his rule. You’re right, we should have acted sooner, but we didn’t, and that’s a mistake my pack will have to live with as long as we walk this earth. So many of our people are gone because of him.” Mentally Sirus replaced the “we’s’’ with his own name. He became second in command in Malcom’s absence. He witnessed the decline of their leader, saw the changes in him before anyone else, he saw the terror that would come and yet he did nothing.
“We should get back.” Mara spoke softly. The guilt of the event was a burden they would both share. The slow walk to the town proved to be cleansing. They still talked of all that had happened and Sirus spoke of how things were only going to get better for his people. He made the promise to himself and all the other lost souls. Mara looked at him and she felt hope. If he could make a change, perhaps so could she.
Just at the edge of the town, Tatiana had gathered their people together. Some of her men found a nest of survivors who had managed to hide from Vincent. They brought them to the designated meeting point, each of them reeking of terror. That inspired hunts for more hideouts and more people were found. All of them were reluctant to go with the men. They were being ushered by complete strangers towards locations unknown. For all they knew, they were marching towards their own deaths. When they laid eyes on Sirus and Malcom, the fear seemed to drain from each of them. Malcom was happy to be able to bring them peace by simply being there. He felt satisfaction in knowing that their pain would soon end.
“We have to get these people sorted out. Find out who they are and create a log, but take it easy on them. I am sure they are already in shock, we don’t want to make matters worse.” Tatiana was already at work moving the survivors along and making sure everyone was accounted for. She’d already had a crew tasked with removing the carnage from the streets for fear that there would be children in one of the hideouts. She didn’t want to traumatize them with the sight of Vincent’s wrath. They’d seen enough bloodshed already during their short lives thanks to their Alpha. After she gave her orders, she turned to Malcom and Sirus. “So, which of you is it going to be?”
“Excuse me?” Malcom played dumb. He knew what she was asking. It was the same question she’d told him would be asked of him the night he met her. Now was the moment, he was to face the expectation that his people would have of him. It was something he wanted to avoid, but like all things wished avoidable, you can only run for so long before they catch up to you. The time was once again upon him for him to face the music.
“These people need a leader and I am assuming it’s going to be one of you.” Her eyes shifted between the two men and she sighed when she found that they both wore a look of hesitation. “You have got to be kidding me! What was the point of all of this if neither of you are willing to step up to the plate?”
“Malcom should do it.” Sirus offered up the position. It wasn’t an offer of respect for all that Malcom had gone through. He wasn’t doing it to be nice or to show sympathy, Sirus believed that Malcom would make a better alpha. Had he been around, things might not have declined so drastically. Malcom damn sure would have taken the necessary action when it the time came, Sirus hadn’t. This was something he would never be able to forgive himself for.
“No, I am not signing up for that and I told Tatiana that when I first met her, being alpha is not something I want.” He gave Sirus a sympathetic look but still shook his head no. He understood where his friend’s mind was but that did nothing to change how he felt about what was being asked of him. “Look, I came here for one purpose, that purpose has been fulfilled. Now it’s time for me to go. That is how this works.” He placed his hand on Sirus’ shoulder. “You organized this, got these people to safety, you put the plan in motion which would end Vincent’s lead. Alpha is yours, man you earned it. I didn’t, it’s all you.”
Sirus looked to Malcom and then to of the floundering members of their pack. He questioned if he was ready for such a responsibility. Yes, he would do anything to protect them, but was he capable of leading them? “Are you sure? I mean, they would follow you willingly.”
“That may very well be true, but I would not lead them, not by choice. These people deserve someone who wants to be their leader; they deserve someone who would readily put their life on the line to protect them. That person is not me. This isn’t my home anymore, Sirus, but I will promise you this; if you need me I am here.” Malcom scanned the people in front of them. “You were quite possibly the only person out of them all who never turned your back on me. There is no way in hell I would turn away from you if you needed me.”
“Where will you go?” Sirus asked Malcom as Tatiana left them. She had the answer she was looking for and would make sure the word would spread about the new Alpha to be sworn in. The two men looked over everything that was playing out in front of them and could feel the sense of relief replacing the remnants of fear. The people relaxed and began to head off to reclaim their homes and pick up the pieces. The tyranny was over.
“Honestly, I’m not sure. What I do know is that I will rest. For the first time in years, and I am looking forward to it.” He smiled at his friend. “It’s not easy having to be on the lookout 24/7. On top of that, I had to run. I could have stayed and fought them, killed them all. I couldn’t do it, not anymore. That is what he wanted. He wanted to make me look like a monster in the people’s eyes. I refused to give him that satisfaction.”
“Well, it’s rest that is very much deserved.” Sirus shook Malcom’s hand before heading off to join the efforts of cleaning the streets. He turned back to him with one last thought. “Hey, thanks, for the offer of help. I hope to never have to cash in on that.”
“So, that’s it huh?” Mara spoke from behind Malcom. She’d given him wide birth but she could take it no longer. She had to speak with him. “You are just going to take off now? Were you even going to say goodbye?”
“Shouldn’t you be in hiding?” Malcom barely looked at her. “The sun is coming up soon.”
“Yeah, soon.” She stepped around to face him since he didn’t seem as if he would ever turn to her.
“What do you want, Mara?” He asked her, frustration bleeding into his tone.
“I can feel it, your hate for me now.” Her heart dropped, all that she had feared was coming true. He would never be able to forgive her. She just had to kill Vincent and now Malcom was turning his back on her.
“I don’t hate you or anyone else. After all of this, I realize that it’s just not worth the effort. Look at all this devastation, and for what, jealousy and revenge, what good did any of it do? No, it’s not worth it to hate you, but no, I don’t want to be near you. The sight of you... you caused so much, the domino effect of your actions was so severe and you just watched from the sidelines as so many lives crumbled. You never once attempted to stop any of it from happening. I always thought of you as someone to clean up your messes, but look at all of this, Mara!”
“I,” She began to speak but Malcom held up his hand as a sign to halt her words. She complied and waited for him to speak again.
“I didn’t ask for an explanation from you, Mara.” Malcom sighed. “It’s not necessary nor will it change anything.”
“I know you didn’t ask for an explanation and no, it will not change one single detail about all that has happened, but I feel the need to explain my point anyway. You should give me at least that, the chance to state my own case. It’s only fair, Malcom.”
“Okay, Explain.” Malcom finally looked her in the eye and she could tell how much he wanted her words to be able to fix things. He didn’t want to have to lose any more people that he cared for. Unfortunately, she also knew, before she gave voice to her thoughts, that they wouldn’t provide him the clear conscious he sought. She knew that this could be the last time they ever spoke, and she knew that she had no one to blame but herself. If there was just one thing she should have done different, it was to have been honest with him. She should have never lied to him about things between her and Vincent. She should have never worked so hard to keep the truth away from him.
“There is no way that I could have ever known that leaving Vincent would lead to all of this. The relationship between Vincent and I was complicated, yes, but I had no idea that any of this would happen. You blame me, but you know that I speak the truth. How could I have known? The only explanation I can give you is that Vincent loved me more than I loved him. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t give him enough of myself to satisfy him. It was impossible. There was no way that I could ever reciprocate that level of love for him because for whatever reason, I gave my heart to a man who never saw me in that light, a man who never will. Vincent was jealous of that and I can’t blame him for his jealousy because I have been in his shoes, I have felt the pain of being forced to stand by and watch as the one I loved fell into the arms of someone else. I know what the burden is to live knowing that no matter what you did, you would never be enough.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Malcom looked away from her. They both knew she was referring to him even if she hadn’t spoken his name, her eyes and the slight shake to her voice along with the way she fidgeted with her hands told him the truth.
“Because, I want you to see that I had no hand in his actions. Yes, I blame myself for breaking his heart and I feel guilty about what that led to, but I can’t take the blame for the turmoil he caused, I can’t put that on myself and I hope like hell that you would never hold his actions against me.”
“Mara, I don’t blame you for his actions, those were his choices and as you already said, you had no way of knowing what the outcome would be. That being said, it makes it no easier for me to look at you now knowing that you lied to me all that time. It also does nothing to change how I feel when I think of all that I have lost, the people I will never get back, Serene, my family and now Stephanie. When I think of those people, it is your name that comes to mind, when I think of that agony, it’s your face I see. Your apologies now, your words will never do anything to subdue the pain I feel.” Malcom stepped back from Mara. “I need to not see you, hear your voice, or feel your presence ever again. Do me this one favor, and leave me be.” Malcom gave no command; he didn’t use his hold over her to force her to give him what he wanted. She would have to be the one to comply of her own will. She didn’t know if that made it any better.
“Will I ever see you again?” Mara couldn’t have stopped the tears that fell. She felt raw, all the emotional baggage she’d carried for all those years had spilled out and been revealed to the world.
“That is not a question that I can answer.”
“So, I’ll change my question. Do you ever want to see me again?” She wiped her face smearing the blood. “You’re the only one who could answer that question.”
Malcom shook his head and like a sword, he cut her with his words. “No. Mara, I never want to see you again. I’m sorry but to look at you is to face everything that has gone wrong in my life. I can’t do that, I have to leave it all behind.”
Mara wrapped her arms around herself as she watched him walk away. How could she live her life knowing that he would never come to her again? She was bonded to this man, she would feel him for an eternity and he never wanted to be anywhere near her. She allowed her tears to flow more freely after he walked away. She felt them escaping and for a moment she thought of waiting out the sunrise. As tempting at the thought was, it was something she would never do. Mara was a survivor even when the world felt like a hopeless place. Instead, she decided that she would make it up to him, she would have him back in her life, and she had an eternity to make that happen. She made herself the promise and ran off into the remaining night. She had to find shelter before the sun rose.
––––––––
Before Malcom returned to the group, before he turned down the offer to be Alpha and before he told Mara to leave his side forever, he did the only thing he could do. He did the only thing that mattered. He removed Stephanie from the woods. With his vision blurred by his tears, he carried her body back to her family home; back to the place where he’d once courted her and picked her up for dates where they walked beneath the moon. He dressed her in a soft blue nightgown and placed her body across the bed after sealing the wound on her neck with a hot iron to stop the bleeding. He then wiped her neck and shoulder free of the blood that covered her skin.
He stayed with her; he couldn’t leave her side. She was long gone, but she was all he had left. It was easy now to ignore the cries of the wolves around them. He felt no joy when Tatiana’s victory call announced Vincent’s demise. She was gone; Stephanie was the only one who mattered, no matter if in her last moments, she had been acting against him. This woman was his hope, his joy and Vincent had taken that away from him once again. She represented so much for him. He cried over her body, mourned the loss of her smile for hours before finally pulling himself away from her. He would never stop mourning her, but he couldn’t stand to be there any longer. Not in the place where he had suffered so much heartache and now the place where he’d lost not one but two loves and by the hands of the same man.
“I’ll always love you. I’m so sorry that I was unable to protect you.” He whispered to her before he kissed her forehead and left her there lying beneath the remnants of the moon.
Malcom hung around in town just long enough to witness the impromptu swearing in of the new Alpha. They were unable to wait for the rest of their people to return from the Northern territories. A pack without an alpha was a vulnerable one. Betas from other areas would quickly learn of Vincent’s death and they would waste no time to grab a chance at claiming the territory as their own. Malcom didn’t stay for drinks, nor did he join in on the celebration. How could he, when he knew that Stephanie lay dead in her own bed. Sirus promised to give her a proper send off. Malcom was thankful that he was not questioned for leaving before it was done. His friend understood the words he never spoke, he knew the pain that Malcom was going through. He also understood why he would never want to talk about it.
“Need a lift?” Tatiana asked as she climbed into a small sedan. Malcom had gathered a few supplies and fresh clothing and was walking out of town.
“No, I think I’ll find my own way thank you.” He turned away from her.
“I’m sorry, okay. I fucked up.” Tatiana yelled at his back.
“Yeah, you did.” Malcom looked towards her. “Lucky for me, that is your burden to bear not mine.”
“Duvein is going to be looking for us.” She stood in the open door and waited. She was worried. Malcom could smell it on her, fear. The wolf was on the edge of panic because of her selfish actions.
“No, he will be looking for you. He will never find me.” He sighed. “Besides, he has your scent now. Yeah, he will be pissed at me, and we may even come to blows at some point in the future because he knows that I was the one who got you inside. The thing about vampires, Tatiana, is that they know the signature of death. They can always tell who did the deed. And it is your John Hancock he found, and after you tackled him, well he knows you now.” He shook his head. “You may want to consider going into hiding for a while. Who knows...maybe he will get over it.”
“So, that’s it? You’re just out of it now?” Tatiana sounded like a broken record after his conversation with Mara. Why was everyone questioning him on leaving? What more could they possibly want from him?
“Yes, that’s it... I’m done with the pack life. Period.” He sighed. “And I really wish people would stop asking me that.”
“I guess that is about the smartest thing you could do right now, all things considered.”
“Like I said before,” he tapped the side of his head with his fingertip. “Sometimes this old brain still works.” He winked at her and she climbed in the car and pulled away. She would send Sirus’ people back to him and make sure that they all had what they needed. There would be no war if the word remained that Vincent died by the hand of Sirus, an alpha challenge. No, it wasn’t exactly the truth but it was the story they chose to tell. As she drove she considered Malcom’s suggestion. Maybe she would go into hiding. She needed to figure out things for herself and she was in no hurry to face the pissed off vampire who would be after her. She hoped like hell that Duvein wouldn’t take revenge by retaliating against her people.
Malcom walked for nearly the entire day before his body forced him to shut down and rest. He had allowed his thoughts to roam because it was the only way to escape all that he’d lost, all that he didn’t wish to face. In his haste to escape the hardship of the past few days he’d found himself closing in on the borderline between the territories. He figured it was as good a place as any to rest up. The territory lines really didn’t mean much to him. He claimed no home when it came to the wolves. As he set up camp, he thought of his cabin, he could return there, and make it a real home. Separation was what he needed. The spot he found was in an isolated area outside of all borders, unclaimed territory. He could claim it as his own now.
“Mind if I join you?” The voice that called from behind him caused his pulse to quicken, his body to sweat.
Had he lost his mind? Was there another ghost replacing the one that had possessed his mind for so long? He wiped at his eyes before turning to find Stephanie standing behind him.
“Step?” His heart skipped a beat and then froze in place. He couldn’t live with this again, another love turned vampire! It made no sense; a wolf couldn’t become a vampire. How the hell was she standing in front of him?
“You could have hung around for the burial.” She punched him in the shoulder. He relaxed as he realized that her skin felt warm, very unlike that of every other vampire he’d ever met.
“I couldn’t, I’m sorry but I didn’t want to see it.” He responded to her joke but his mind still whirled. Her presence made no sense.
“Ah, it’s okay, big softy.” She smiled.
“How?” He looked over her body. “How are you here now? Have I lost it completely?” he shook his head slowly and laughed. “I guess it was bound to happen at some point.”
“No, you haven’t lost anything. I’m here, though it did take me quite a while to find you. My senses seem a little skewed right now. I guess that vampire juice was still working on me.”
“Do you know, did they tell you?” Stephanie seemed completely too chipper for someone who had just lost her last living relative, maybe no one there had the heart to tell her about Vincent though he was sure that she was smart enough to put two and two together.
“About Vincent, yeah, I can’t pretend that I am too upset about it at this point. He did kill me after all.” She thought for a moment. “I will miss him though, as fucked up as my brother was, he was still my brother, my blood, and nothing can replace that. However, I think this is better now, a world without him. Maybe there will be more happiness for our people, or what remains of them.”
“What are you doing here?” Malcom was thrilled to see that Stephanie was alive, no matter how many questions surrounded the fact. What he wanted to know was why she would come after him. She hated him, he’d lied to her, broke her heart again and again and even aimed to kill her brother though in the end it wasn’t his hands that ended the alpha’s life. Why would he be the one she searched for if not to kill him? What else could be her purpose? He didn’t believe that to be the reason behind her appearance, but he stepped back from her and considered running for it, he wouldn’t fight her, he wouldn’t be the one to end her life...again. No, he wouldn’t fight her but he damn sure wasn’t going to let her take him out.
“Look, we have been dancing around each other for way too long, and the way I look at it, I already lost you in my last lifetime. This is a fresh start and I’m not giving you up.” She stepped closer to him. “I want you, Malcom. I always have and knowing that I could very damn well be breathing my last breath I am not willing to just accept your walking away from me again. You will be mine.” She gave a low growl that aroused the wolf in Malcom.
“That has to be the absolute furthest thing from what I expected to hear from you.” Malcom couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips.
“Oh, you thought I’d be here on some plot for revenge?” she smiled and took another slow step towards him.
“Well, yeah actually that is exactly what I thought you were here for.” He laughed. “It’s kind of a family trait, isn’t it?”
“My brother did the revenge things, not me.” She walked closer to him and he stayed in his place. She pressed her body against his and his own skin began to warm. “I can leave now if that is what you want.”
“No, I don’t want that.” He grabbed her and held her tight so that she could not move away. He never wanted to be separated from her again. It took him years to see it, but Stephanie was the world for him. After feeling what it would be like to exist without her, he couldn’t go back. He would never willingly live a life that didn’t include her.
“So,” she kissed his chin. “I guess that means I’m staying. Is there room in the tent for me?”
“You want to sign up for a life in exile?” he sighed. “I am not going back Stephanie, I would love nothing more than to spend my life with you, but I cannot go back there.”
“I understand so life in exile it is. Do I get to spend it with you or do I get my own separate sentence?”
Malcom lifted Stephanie up from the ground and held her in his arms. He kissed her with desperately happy lips and growled as she responded to his touch. “There is no way I would torture myself in such a cruel fashion!”
“Good.” He lowered her to her feet and she winked at him before crawling into the tent, an open invitation for him to join her.
“Damn,” he groaned and happily followed his newly revived mate inside. There were so many questions left to be answered, those could wait for another time.
WANT MORE FROM JESSICA CAGE?
CONTINUE THE ALPHA SEREIS WITH ALTERED AND BLOOD BOND
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Born and raised in Chicago, IL, writing has always been a passion for Jessica Cage. She dabbles in artistic creations of all sorts but at the end of the day, it's the pen that her hand itches to hold. Jessica had never considered following her dream to be a writer because she was told far too often "There is no money in writing." So, she chose the path most often traveled. Working at her day job in a law office, she looked at her two-year-old son and asked herself, how would she be able to inspire him to follow his dreams, reach for the stars, if she never had the guts to do it herself. Jessica decided to take a risk and unleash the plethora of characters and their crazy adventurous worlds that had previously existed only in her mind, into the realm of readers. She did this with hopes to inspire not only her son but herself. Inviting the world to tag along on her journey to become the writer she has always wanted to be. Recently Jessica discovered a new passion in encouraging youth to follow their dreams and explore creative passions. It is no secret that programs are dwindling that help to support the development of artistic passion. It is her hope to be able to create an avenue to help fill this void. It is the realization that Jessica's journey is not all about herself, but about others as well, that helps to not only fuel her writing but to keep her moving forward.