| |
Lo
I FELT SICK.
As the landscape became familiar and my eyes watched the beautiful houses of Wicked Bay blur past, I wanted to vomit all over Kyle’s leather interior.
“Where to, Cous?” he said from up front.
I didn’t bother to lift my head off my arm as I said, “Home,” flatly.
“Are you sure? You could always come back to the house and hang?”
“I have to go back eventually.” I sighed.
Home was the last place I wanted to go. She would be there. Stella. My new stepmum. Okay, so they weren’t married, and Dad hadn't proposed... yet, but she was there. In my house. Wanting to ‘get to know me better’.
Whatever the hell that meant.
I didn’t want to get to know her. I didn’t want to have anything to do with her. But it's a funny thing about life... sometimes it didn’t give a shit what you wanted. Plus, my dad was happy, and I hadn’t seen him so happy in a long time. I was pleased for him. I just didn’t want to have to pretend to be okay with it.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Laurie poked her face between the seats and narrowed her eyes at me.
“No,” I admitted, offering her a weak smile. “But I will be.”
I had no choice. Life was moving on for everyone. Dad had Stella and Bethany now. Maverick was off chasing his dreams at SU, and Kyle and Laurie were all set to apply to USC. I could either force myself to take steps forward or stay still and risk getting left behind.
“We could come in with you?” she added. “Keep Stellabitch off your back.”
“Stellabitch?” I raised a brow.
“Yeah, I figure we need a name for her. Like stepmomster, only better.”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with stepmomster. I call Rebecca it all the time.”
Laurie glanced at Kyle and shook her head. “Exactly.”
“Guys, I’m fine. I appreciate it, Laurie, but Stella’s not a bad person, not really. I just can’t get my head around the fact she’s going to be living with us.”
It was too much too soon. I was still adjusting to the crazy turn my life had taken since losing Mum and Elliot.
With a heavy sigh, I said goodbye to Kyle and Laurie, and sloped out of the Jeep. Her car was in the driveway right next to Dad’s; and just as I expected, when I opened the door I walked into my worst nightmare. Dad and Stella were at the table, laughing and smiling as they ate dinner from our matching bowls. The ones me and Dad picked out when we moved into the house.
“Oh, hey, Sweetheart.” Dad’s smile slipped as his eyes glanced to his food. “I, hmm, didn’t know what time to expect you but there are leftovers.”
“I already ate.” It was one fake smile away from making a reappearance.
“Oh, okay. So,” he cleared his throat. “How was it? Did Maverick get settled in okay?” Dad loosened his collar, the way he did whenever he mentioned Maverick’s name. Part of me wondered if he’d stop now my boyfriend was away at college. What did people say, ‘out of sight, out of mind’?
My stomach sank.
“Yeah, we helped him unpack.” I fought back the memories of what else we’d done. But from the way Dad’s face flushed, I guess I didn’t try hard enough.
“I know it’s not going to be easy with him gone—” His phone blared from the counter. “Crap. That could be David with the figures. I need to take this.” He rose from the table and squeezed Stella’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t be too long.”
Then he was gone, and it was just me and Stella, and a million unspoken things hanging between us.
“What your father was trying to say was...” Stella dabbed her mouth with a napkin and twisted her body around to me. “We know it’s not going to be easy with Maverick gone, but you have Laurie and Kyle, and school. And he’ll come home on the weekend or you can visit.”
“I’m tired. I think I’m going to go to bed.” As I started to make my way across the room, her voice cut me dead.
“Lo, please.”
I glanced back, hating the punch of guilt I felt when my eyes landed on her sorry expression.
“I know this has been hard on you. We didn’t want it to happen like this, but I’m here and you’re here, and well, I’d really like for us to try to get along. Maybe even become friends one day.”
I stared at her, the woman who wasn’t my mum, and sucked in a harsh breath. Stella wasn’t asking for anything unreasonable. She hadn’t swooped in and stolen Dad off me, or mum, or Elliot. But she was here now, and my mum wasn’t. It was something I couldn’t just get over.
No matter how much I tried.
“I’m sorry I interrupted your dinner,” I said flatly before going to my room.
It was ironic that a year ago I moved to Wicked Bay and felt like a stranger amongst my own family in their home. Now here I was, a year later, living in my own house and still feeling the same.
But it was true what people said. Home was where the heart was. Part of my heart was halfway across the world in an empty house, and the other part was twenty-five miles away in a dorm room at Steinbeck University. Which could mean only one thing.
I was screwed.
~
“A JOB,” LAURIE SAID. “But why would you want to do that?”
I shrugged. Not that she could see me as I made myself breakfast. “I don’t know. I guess I just feel like I need to do something to keep myself busy.” Jamming the phone between my neck and ear, I beat the eggs harder.
“He’s at college, Lo, he isn’t dead.”
“Way to go with the understanding,” I groaned, pouring the eggs into the pan.
“That was a sucky thing to say. I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I just hate that you’re already moping.”
“I am not moping. More, I’m just being realistic. Maverick’s at SU, you and Kyle are all set to apply for USC, and I’m...”
“Still deciding,” Laurie finished for me. “It’s okay to have no plan, Lo.”
“I know that. But getting a job isn’t only about having a plan. It’ll give me some money of my own. I can save it for college.” Or a place of my own now the house was overcrowded.
“Where will you look?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t gotten that far yet. Maybe I’ll check out the new shopping center down by the harbour. There’s that coffee shop, and the diner, or maybe the cute little bookshop that sells homemade cake.”
“Mall, we call them malls. And that’s not a bad idea. I bet you’ll get a staff discount and we can come and hang out and—”
Dad breezed into the kitchen and I lowered my voice, “I’ll call you later, okay? We can plan.”
“Sounds good. Laters.”
“Bye.” I hung up and flipped my omelette.
“You’re up early,” Dad said, helping himself to coffee.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Everything will be okay, you know, Sweetheart. He’s a couple of towns away; it’s hardly Outer Mongolia.”
My brows pinched. “It’s college, Dad. He has the team, and classes, and parties.”
And college girls.
I didn’t like to think of myself as insecure, but I was only human.
“Maverick loves you.” Dad frowned as I chewed the end of the spatula. “Wow, there’s something I never thought I'd hear myself say. But it’s true. That boy adores you. I know it’s hard, and I know it feels like the world is ending, but you will adjust, and life will go on.”
“You sound mighty sure of yourself.” I cocked a brow, and he smiled.
“I met your mother in the rainforest, remember?”
The mention of her name was like an electric shot through my chest. He felt it too, if his pale face was anything to go by. “Lo, Sweetheart, I—”
“Let’s not, Dad,” I said turning away from him, forcing down the acid rushing up my throat and focusing on my eggs.
“Lo, I’m sorry,” he sounded choked. “I know the move was sudden. I didn’t plan for it to happen like this. And I know you’re not ready to accept Stella and Bethany into our family, and that’s okay too. But please don’t shut me out again. Please, Sweetheart.”
“I’m—”
“Good morning,” Stella’s saccharine voice filled the room, sucking the air clean from my lungs. “Do I smell coffee? Please tell me it is?”
“Morning, darling,” Dad crooned, and my fingers curled around the pan handle until they turned white. “It’s fresh,” he added, “Lo made it.”
“Thank you, Lo.”
“Hmm,” I managed to garble as I slid my omelette onto a plate.
“So what are your plans for the day?” Dad just couldn’t let it go. All I wanted to do was eat breakfast and get out of here. At least when school started back next week, I could leave early to avoid this.
“Lo?”
“Huh?” I blinked up at the two of them as they stood, mugs in hand, watching me dissect my breakfast.
“Plans for today?”
“Oh, yeah. I thought I might look for a job.”
“A job? You don’t need to get a job, Sweetheart. I can increase your allowance if you need money.”
“It’s not about the money. It’s about doing something for me. Something useful.”
His brows pinched as he mulled over my words, but Stella chimed in, “I think that’s an excellent idea, Rob. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to earn your way.” She smiled at me. “If you need an extra pair of eyes writing your resume, I’d be happy to help.”
“I, hmm... I think I’ve got it covered, thanks.”
“Well, the offer’s there.”
I half-smiled because what else could I do? The woman was persistent, and not in an annoying or interfering kind of way, in a genuine way. She was making it increasingly hard for me to hate her.
Which only made me hate her more.
~
I SPENT THE MORNING wandering around the new shopping center—or mall as Laurie insisted I called it—next to the harbour. She’d wanted to come, but thankfully Kyle had plans that included the two of them and a day at the beach. I loved my best friend something fierce, but I wanted to do this alone. Especially when I realised I was way out of my comfort zone. It was fancy: all floor to ceiling glass windows overlooking the ocean, and with its expensive boutiques and designer stores, it wasn’t me at all. So I walked back into downtown where the little people like myself stood a chance at blending in.
An hour later, and I was beginning to think it was a sign the whole idea was stupid. The first three places I tried weren’t hiring, ending my dream of serving coffee and greasy burgers to the masses. I was just contemplating heading home when I spotted a ‘we’re hiring’ sign on the window of a sports bar called Hitters. I grabbed the door handle just as I caught the ‘closed’ sign. Of course, it didn’t open for another hour and a half. It summed up my entire morning. I pulled out my phone to note down the contact details, but it started to vibrate, and I smiled at Maverick’s name flashing across the screen.
“Hey.”
“Where are you? Kyle said something about you looking for a job.”
“Hello to you too,” I groaned. “Seriously, Maverick, you called to see where I am?”
“No, I... I just wanted to talk. College is kind of dull.”
“Dull?” I stifled a laugh. “You’ve been there less than twenty-four hours. Give it a chance. I thought you were going to check out the library this morning?”
“I did. The place is huge.”
“You saw all the books and got scared, didn’t you?”
“Maybe. There was just so many of them. I got my reading lists too...” His voice trailed off, and I knew he was internalising stuff.
“Maverick, you’ve got this. You worked your ass off to improve your SAT, and SU know about your dyslexia. You’re going to do great.”
“I wish I had your confidence. I can’t wait to get on the court, but classes... it’s a whole different ball game.”
“It’ll be fine. I promise.”
“Yeah?” He sounded so vulnerable, I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything would be okay.
But he was there... and I was here.
“Yeah. Besides, I can help you study on a weekend. If I remember correctly, you responded pretty well to my... methods.” I stifled a laugh, remembering how creative we’d gotten when Maverick was studying for the SAT.
“London,” it came out a low growl. A shiver rolled up my spine and my tummy clenched. “Where are you right now? Maybe we can finish what we started this morning?”
“No can do, lover boy. I’m about to go get me a job.”
“So Kyle wasn’t shitting me? You really are downtown?”
“Yup. I can’t sit around twiddling my thumbs all year. I need to do something, Maverick. Everyone has all these plans and I have...”
“Me,” he said with an air of annoyance. “You have me, Lo. We have plans. Or at least, I thought we did.”
“Maverick, that’s not what I—”
“I have to go. I’ll speak to you later.”
“Okay, by—”
He hung up before I could finish. While part of me wanted to smack him upside the head for being so pig-headed, the other part didn’t blame him. He wanted me to tell him I would apply for SU. He wanted me with him next year. But I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. If I even wanted to go to college. I couldn’t think so far ahead. Not when my life for the last fifteen months had been a rollercoaster that had far more lows than it did highs. No, I had to focus on the here and now. And right now, there was a job with my name on it.