Furry Godmother’s fashion tip: Cover your assets.
Three weeks later, the Animal Elegance gala was packed with the district’s crème de la crème. It was a swanky red-carpet event with paparazzi and caterers galore. Local news crews had arrived hours ahead of time, along with reporters from pet advocacy groups, the Humane Society, and a few naked protesters who thought animals in costumes qualified as abuse. I’d been on my feet for twelve hours and in heels for eight. I needed a shower, jammies, and a soft bed. I’d been awake for more than a day, and my fantasies all boiled down to sleep. Too bad that when given the opportunity to sleep, my mind chose to replay the events of the night Mr. Tater tried to kill me. Even all this time later, it still hurt to brush my hair. Luckily, I had Penelope to talk to when I couldn’t sleep. True to his word, Pete had put her on a plane, and Jack took me to pick her up. Life was infinitely better with her at my side. She was exactly what I needed to heal.
I swept my long curls over one shoulder and dropped fresh ice cubes in a line of crystal water dishes for any remaining party pets. Mrs. Neidermeyer’s Shih Tzus were a hit, but they’d all gone home immediately after their performance. I caught a look at poor Mrs. Neidermeyer as they danced. She apparently felt the same way I did about the Good Ship Lollipop now. When the song finally ended, I’d exhaled ten pounds of tension and went for a glass of water. She wasn’t far behind.
The tutus held up well and got plenty of nods. So many, in fact, that I was out of business cards by dinner.
A round of applause drifted through the walls. The keynote speaker must have finished. He represented the American Kennel Club, and I’d wanted to hear his ideas on pet health and nutrition, but being a one-woman company wasn’t easy. Thank goodness for family and free labor. I had plenty of both by the names of Dr. and Mrs. Crocker and our dear friend Imogene.
The trio ducked into the private room single file.
“There you are.” Mom had an empty silver tray. “We need more of everything and some business cards.”
I topped the bowls off with fresh water and tossed the empty bottles into my recycle tote. “I’m out.” I showed her my palms, then dropped them to my sides. The gesture was one I used with pets to assure them there were no more treats.
Mom gave me a narrowed stare. Her floor-length Elie Saab gown hung in layers of chiffon and silk over vintage Gucci pumps. “How am I supposed to make a proper impression without the right tools?”
I touched my forehead. “How was the speaker?”
“He looked like Mable Feller’s bulldog. He’s too squat for a pale-gray suit and Harry Potter glasses.”
“I’d hoped to talk to him about my pawlines.” A twinge of disappointment curled in my chest.
Mom huffed. “That’s funny because everyone wants to talk to you about those.”
I toed red velvet pet beds into a circle and dropped a peanut butter cookie on each. “Thank you for all your help today, but you should go mingle. There’s no reason to spend the whole gala serving pet treats. Plus, we’re all out, so . . .” I made a shooing motion. “Go. Have fun.”
Imogene delivered air kisses and headed for the door. “You don’t have to tell me twice. If you need anything else, you can find me on the dance floor.”
“Thanks.” I smiled and waved.
She stopped in the doorway. “I’m ready to take over for Paige at your shop when she goes back to Brown. Let me know when I start.”
“Okay. That’s . . .” I hesitated. I’d decided I didn’t need an investor to keep the store open. I’d make it a success the same way other new business owners did: with a stress cocktail of debt, hard work, and sleep deprivation. Work would definitely be interesting with Imogene at my side. “It’s great news.” I hoped. “Thank you.”
“You still got your little piggy?” She asked.
“Yep.”
“Good girl.” She patted the doorjamb and disappeared into the gala.
Mom handed me her empty tray. “If you don’t want our help, we might as well go dancing too.”
“Look at this.” I waved my arms, indicating the room around us. The green room for performers and their trainers had been a simple conference room until Mom and I turned it into an Egyptian suite fit for any pharaoh. “You were here all day setting up, and now you’re not enjoying yourself. You’re working. You think my job is silly, and it kind of is, but I’ve got this under control. I want you to go enjoy what’s left of your night.”
Her jaw dropped in overly dramatic Crocker style. “I don’t think what you do is silly.”
I made a be-serious face.
“I think you’re silly. I mean, you are your father’s daughter.” She wiggled her hands from me to Dad. What could she do? We were weird.
Dad tapped his empty serving tray against his palm. “What your mother means is that she’s proud of you. We’re proud of you, and we’re glad to help however you’ll allow us.”
I eyeballed Mom. “You aren’t ashamed that your only child dropped out of medical school in favor of a degree in fashion and now the only fashions she makes are worn by pets?”
She shook her head. “We love fashion and pets.”
“Mom.” I gave the face again.
“What? You said yourself it’s a silly job, but that doesn’t make it shameful. I’ve never been ashamed of you. I couldn’t be. Your career choice, strange as it is, seems to fit you, and it makes you happy, so I’m happy.”
“Really?” She didn’t look happy, but she rarely did, so I couldn’t judge based on that.
“Of course. My battle’s half won. Now that you’re back in the district, it will be much easier for me to find an established man willing to support your odd endeavors. Whimsy has its charms. I’ll find someone.”
I dropped my head forward and stretched an arm around her waist. “Thank you for your help tonight.” I rested my head on her shoulder.
“You’re welcome. Silly or not, the noblest thing anyone can do is support family.”
The words were welcome but clearly at odds with her disposition. “You seem a little miffed for someone doing noble work.”
She tensed. “That’s because Hams is here with those Llama Mamas and their llamas.”
“Really?” I tried to imagine how a herd of llamas could attend the posh event. “Where?” Not on stage, surely.
She pointed to the window on the far wall. “She brought them in a trailer lined in little twinkle lights and fenced off an area in the parking lot with signs on the benefits of llama love.”
I must’ve made a face because Dad laughed and Mom sighed dramatically.
She fussed with her vintage sapphire necklace. “Now she’s got the attention of two superintendents from prominent districts. If she gets those beasts into schools, what am I supposed to do?”
I went to the window for a look at the llamas and their little trailer. “Too cute.” The llamas were adorable in scarlet-and-gold jackets bearing the Llama Mama insignia. I squinted. “They’re behaving oddly.” They were fussing and rubbing their sides against one another. “She should’ve let me design new jackets for them.” What was the point of having me on retainer if she didn’t call?
Mom peeked out the window over my shoulder. “They’ve worn those coats for two seasons now. She bought them online. They aren’t even custom.”
Dad looked at his watch. “Well, we can plan your pitch to the school systems tomorrow, dear. I think we should enjoy tonight while it lasts. Why don’t the three of us take a break and enjoy the evening together?”
Mom was unusually quick to drop her llama lament and agree.
I hated to leave the green room but couldn’t think of a reason to stay. The treats were gone. Waters were full. Things were tidy. It was probably the perfect time to shake hands and make contacts.
I slid my hand under Dad’s arm and let him lead me to the crowded room of glitz and glam.
The grand ballroom overflowed with opulence. Well-appointed tables and high-backed dining chairs stuffed every inch of central floor space. Crystal bowls and glasses sat among a sea of crimson-and-gold linens. Lavish floral displays anchored the stage and adorned each table. A string quartet sat front and center, charming guests onto the dance floor.
The room was a showcase of New Orleans’s finest. The mayor was there. There were several bigwigs from Harrah’s casino and all the socialites from our district. I recognized most of the faces from a lifetime in these circles. Others I’d only seen on the news.
I released Dad when intuition kicked in. “When did you guys visit the llamas?”
He frowned. “Not long ago. Why?”
“Were they acting strangely when you saw them?”
He rubbed his chin. “No. I didn’t think so. Do you think something’s wrong?”
I turned my gaze on Mom. When she’d first learned of my involvement with the llamas, she suggested I sprinkle their products with itching powder. “Could someone have tampered with their costumes?”
Dad crossed his arms. “Violet?”
Mom clucked her tongue. “What do the two of you think of me? I would never harm an animal. You know that.” She squared her shoulders in defiance. “That woman dressed her livestock in ugly jackets and penned them in a parking lot. They’re probably plotting against her.”
Dad turned toward the exit. “It could be too much attention or the traffic. I’m going to see if I can help.”
“Maybe you should tell her they have fleas,” Mom suggested sweetly.
I gave her a disapproving look. “Really?”
She matched my look and raised a self-important eyebrow. “I didn’t bother her precious llamas. She, however, has covered every one of my 4-H posters with ones for her dumb parade. One day you’ll have an archenemy, and then you’ll understand.”
“Great. Something to look forward to, then.”
Dad left. Mom went in the opposite direction.
I found a quiet spot to people watch. Chase was easy to spot, even at the farthest corner from me. He wore a white James Bond tuxedo and was surrounded by women whose dates and husbands looked on. It wasn’t often his kind of family money came with a contagious personality and a set of killer abs.
I made my way into his entourage.
He excused himself promptly. “Hello, Miss Crocker.” He bowed formally and gave a sly wink.
“Have I thanked you for saving Penelope from a life with slime?”
Though not in the way we’d agreed. “You never told me about the letter.”
Chase fell in beside me to watch the crowd. “Scarlet had all the ammo I needed. The rest is basic law. You weren’t married or living together long, so she wasn’t property to be divided. You found her, brought her home, and are listed as her emergency contact on all veterinary forms. You paid for all her care with a personal credit card. You were Penelope’s main caregiver. His only decent shot was an argument of abandonment, but I squelched that with the bit about his lab. Petty of me, but I’m not a real lawyer.”
I nudged Chase with my elbow. “Thank you.”
“Do you see that?” He motioned to his brother and Scarlet, his co-conspirator. “How do they do that?”
Scarlet and Carter stood nose to nose on the dance floor, leaning into one another over her bump and swaying infinitesimally. He smiled at her like they shared the world’s best secret. Maybe they did. Scarlet was my first visitor at the hospital after that awful night at Fancy Paws. Jack had called her from the ambulance, and she almost beat us there. The effort was silly because I was fine, but it was nice seeing her fly into the room, eight months pregnant and ready to flatten Tater. Luckily, that job had already been done.
“Probably because they’re both pretty amazing. Did you know she started a charity mission for single moms in New Orleans? She said Sunshine inspired her. Your family’s law firm is drawing up all the paperwork and making the inaugural donation of a cool twenty-five thousand. Scarlet’s tapping into established organizations for input and resources. She wants to provide parenting classes, support groups, and eventually an annual scholarship fund.”
Pride welled in his eyes. “They aren’t a bad bunch.”
A man in vintage Armani and diamond cufflinks slid into the space beside me. “You look nice tonight.”
“Hello, Jack,” Chase said. He shook Jack’s hand, then turned mischievous eyes on me. “I’ll catch up with you later and see if I can sway you on that deal of ours.” He kissed my cheek and strutted away. I did my best not to fan my face.
Jack slid a curious gaze over my figure, lingering on my exposed collarbone before continuing to the floor and back. “I’d like to redact my previous comment. You don’t look nice at all. You look absolutely scandalous in that gown.”
Suddenly the backless, sleeveless, high low number I’d chosen felt indecent. I glanced at the plunging satin neckline and resisted the urge to pull the sides together. “I’d hoped to make an impression.”
“Mission accomplished.” His sweet southern drawl sent shivers through places I tried not to think about. Heat swam across my cheeks, hot enough to melt my makeup and release my freckles. I cleared my throat and tried to look less exposed than I felt. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” I hadn’t seen him since he drove Penelope and me home from the airport. Three weeks was a long time to wonder where he went and why he never called. “Are you here for work?”
“Something like that.”
I gave the crowd another look. Who was he watching? “How is Mr. Tater?”
“He’s recovering nicely. He’ll be able to stand trial and be held accountable for his crimes.”
I dashed my toe against the floor. “Thank you for not killing him. I’d had an awful night. Witnessing a murder would’ve been the worst.”
“Well, I aim to serve.”
I smiled. “Thanks. Did you get him to tell you everything he told me, or is he pleading the fifth like Levi did?”
Jack relaxed his stance by a fraction. “Tater cracked like an egg. Levi’s a product of the system. He’s hard and cold. He doesn’t care about what happens to him, but Tater’s a middle-aged white-collar criminal gone off the deep end. Once he realized how much trouble he was in, he told us everything. Even copped to plundering your store. We confirmed the cornstarch was from gloves he buys for the Barrel Room cleaning staff. He had no problem identifying Hayden as the woman he saw enter your store that night.”
“How is she?”
“Not good. She was enraged when she saw Miguel at your shop after hours. She thought it was some secret rendezvous.”
“I screamed and painted his face. What kind of rendezvous was she thinking?”
“She wasn’t thinking. She was reacting. His death was a terrible accident. A blow to the head normally just leaves a person loopy. Take you for example.”
“Ha.” I touched my temple on instinct. The ghost of pain was still there with the memories. “Can you believe I didn’t have a concussion?”
“Yes. You were the only one who thought you did.”
“Apparently stress altered my ability to properly self-diagnose.”
“You’re obsessed with minutiae.”
“What else did Tater say? Did he tell you Miguel worked for him?”
“Yeah. He subsidized his jewelry store with stolen gems. He sold a lot of fakes, too.”
I guffawed. “Why hasn’t anyone reported him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the price was so right, buyers didn’t think it was worth admitting their stupidity. Two-carat diamonds for five hundred dollars online should be a giveaway. People are gullible.”
“Not all of them.”
He watched me. Whatever he thought of that, he didn’t say.
I fidgeted under his gaze. “So the renowned businessman was a crook. I swear this town is all smoke and mirrors.”
“Speaking of illusions, every missing diamond from Magazine Street turned up in your turtle tank. They’ve been logged and confirmed. Miguel dropped a half million dollars’ worth of ice onto the layer of glass stones and no one had a clue.”
“I guess Tater and Levi were right. I did have the jewels.”
He slid his blue eyes my way. “Have you heard from Levi’s lawyer?”
I shot him a dirty look. “No. He can’t be serious about that.”
Chase’s laugh rose above the music as he high-fived his brother for something I’d missed.
I smiled. “If he does try to sue, I have an excellent attorney in mind.”
Jack tracked my gaze to Chase and Carter. “Did I interrupt anything earlier? You two seem to have gotten pretty close.”
“He saved my cat.”
Jack looked me over. He knew that story and how much it meant to me. “I saved your life.”
“I thought you said I saved my life by dialing nine-one-one.”
He turned smiling eyes back to the crowd. “I was trying to make you feel better.”
“You’re changing your story, Oliver.”
“Well, I have to. The credit’s all mine.”
I followed his lead and watched silently as couples floated arm in arm around the dance floor.
He glanced quickly my way. “I’m not used to seeing you smile. Too many cocktails?”
“No. I was thinking I’m glad to be home. I don’t always understand the people here, but . . .”
“They’re your people.”
I turned to face him. “Yeah.”
He nodded, eyes busily scanning the crowd. “I know.”
I fiddled with the royal-blue satin of my gown and thought of Chase. His family adored him, despite the fact they had little in common outside of genetics. My family was the same. He and I had both left in search of ourselves, and we’d both wound up right back where we’d started. Maybe this was who we were. Prodigal children of the district.
A woman in thousand-dollar heels drifted by on the arm of a man whose watch cost more than my car. “Hi, Lacy.” She waved as they passed.
A broad smile rose on my lips. No, I wasn’t like my mother or most of the people I’d once left behind, but I was definitely one of them, and that was okay with me.
“I like to think of you as the hippie child of the neighborhood.”
“It’s nice. You make life quirky and interesting in a place that’s too staunch.” He turned on his shiny shoes and caught me with his gaze. “I remember watching you paint your store window before you opened. All those little animals with wings.” He chuckled. “I thought you were a nut. I thought your shop would be bankrupt before it opened.”
“You saw that?” I’d had paint everywhere. The glitter had stuck in my hair for a week.
“You wore a short pink dress and tennis shoes. Your hair was all twisted into a knot on top of your head. I stood across the street waiting for you to finish. I had to see what you’d do.”
I grimaced. “What did I do?”
“You put the brush between your teeth like a rose and stepped back to admire your work.”
“Well, that sounds conceited.”
“No. There was pride in your eyes.” His Adam’s apple bobbed, and his brows inched closer together. His lips parted slightly, and my pulse quickened.
Mom swept into view with a silent clap of her hands. “Jack, it’s so nice to see you.” She gripped his hands and air kissed his cheeks. “I’m so glad you could come. I was just telling Lacy these are the sorts of events where great unions are formed. She should attend more often. Don’t you think? Perhaps a fellow pet lover will find her and they can make a lucrative love match.”
“Mom.” I shook my head infinitesimally.
Jack laughed. “I don’t believe I’ve heard the words lucrative and love match together before.”
“Welcome to my world,” I muttered.
Mom straightened her posture overtly, a reminder I was slouching.
I rolled my shoulders back. “I’m not looking for a match.” Lucrative or otherwise.
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly. Everyone wants to find their one true love, darling. It’s the American dream.”
“That’s really not the American dream.”
Jack’s smile widened, enjoying my mother’s nonsense. “I’m confused.” He crossed his arms and made a painfully serious face. “Are you saying you’re against love, Lacy?”
I pointed a shiny, red nail at him. “I didn’t say that. I only said I’m not looking for a wealthy man with societal status to validate me. I’m happy the way I am, poor or not, and I’d be happy with a regular guy who liked me for me.”
Mom cocked a hoity eyebrow and turned back to the crowd. She hummed herself out of sight, enjoying my discomfort far too much.
“I like her,” Jack said.
“That’s only because she adores you.”
“Not true. I like you, and you’re a real pain in the ass.” He trailed someone over my shoulder with his gaze.
“Is that so?”
A woman wearing gold, strapless couture appeared on my left. “Are you ready, Jackson?” she asked. She was gorgeous and clearly older than me, but it was unclear how much. Five years? Ten? Her figure was lethal, and her poise was long polished. Her gaze slid over Jack’s neck and shoulders like they were dinner and she hadn’t eaten in days.
I didn’t like her.
“Yep.” He turned to me and let his lids fall shut for a long beat. When he reopened them, he formed a tight line with his mouth. “Lacy, this is Tabitha.” He glanced her way. “Tabitha, this is Lacy.”
My mouth dropped. “This is Tabitha?” The roommate? Dead Grandpa Smacker’s girlfriend? Holy gold diggers! Money bought at least one old guy happiness. She was even wearing gold. I snapped my mouth shut. “Nice to meet you.”
She scrutinized me. “This is the girlfriend?”
Um, what? I looked behind me for another woman.
Jack took my hand in his. “Yep.” He lifted our hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “Well, honey, I’m going to take Tabitha home. I’ll be back to pick you up when you call.”
He gently kissed my cheek, lingering his mouth near my ear. “Sorry. I didn’t see her coming. Please go along with this and let’s never talk about it again.”
He bowed away and zipped through the crowd with the life-sized, female Oscar statue.
My phone buzzed a moment later. A text from Jack.
That never happened.
I dropped the cell phone back into my clutch. Um, yes, that definitely did happen, and I’m going to find out why.
Furry Godmother’s Peanut Butter and Banana Pupcakes
Makes 6 full-sized cupcakes.
Pets love to party with their people, and these yummy treats are a safe way to include the furriest family members in every celebration.
Pupcake Ingredients
1½ cups whole wheat flour
⅓ cup rolled oats
2 ripe bananas
½ cup natural, unsweetened applesauce
½ cup natural peanut butter
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
Creamy Peanut Butter Icing
6 oz. of cream cheese
4 oz. of smooth peanut butter
1 tbsp. of extra-virgin olive oil
1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Line a muffin pan with paper cups or prep your tin.
3. Mash up bananas. Add eggs, vanilla, applesauce, and peanut butter.
4. Combine flour, oats, baking powder, and baking soda.
5. Add flour to banana mixture and stir.
6. Scoop batter into muffin tins or paper liners.
7. Ask your dogs to clean the bowl. They’ll be great helpers!
8. Bake pupcakes for 18 minutes.
9. Remove the muffins from the oven and move to a wire rack until completely cool before icing.
10. Blend cream cheese, peanut butter, and oil in medium bowl until smooth.
11. Spread creamy peanut butter icing on cooled pupcakes and resist taking a big bite! These are for the dogs, silly.
Furry Godmother’s New Orleans Pawlines
Makes approximately 2 dozen pawlines.
No candy is more iconic to New Orleans than the praline. Much like Lacy’s family, pralines made their way to the city from France and grew into something uniquely New Orleans. Here’s an animal-friendly version of the praline that’s safe to enjoy with your pet.
Pawlines Ingredients
3–4 slices of bacon
1½ cups whole wheat flour
½ cup wheat germ
½ cup melted bacon fat
1 large egg
½ cup water
2 tbsp. all-natural maple syrup (optional)
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Fry bacon until crispy. Remove from pan and crumble. Set aside a small amount as topping.
3. Allow bacon grease to cool.
4. Add egg, water, and optional syrup to the bacon fat.
5. Mix in flour, wheat germ, and crumbled bacon.
6. Roll to ½ inch on a floured surface and cut into circles or use your puppy’s favorite-shaped cookie cutter and move to lightly greased cookie sheet.
7. Top with remaining bacon crumbles for crunch and sass.
8. Bake 20 minutes or until lightly browned.
Furry Godmother’s Tiny Tuna Tarts
Makes 3 dozen tarts.
Show your cat you care with these homemade treats. Made from scratch and baked with love, Miss Mittens will never doubt your dedication again, unless you try to feed her more of that store-bought stuff.
Ingredients
1 can tuna in oil, drained
1 egg
1¼ cups of flour
½ cup water
1 tsp. of parsley, finely chopped
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Mix tuna, egg, flour, water, and parsley into a sturdy dough.
3. Roll dough to ½ inch on a floured surface, adding flour as needed to handle dough.
4. Cut into 1-inch rectangle and move to a prepared cookie sheet.
5. Bake for 20 minutes. Tarts will rise as they bake.