Wiping sleep from her eyes, Tina switched the kettle into life.
Guilt had stabbed at her all night.
When she’d eventually managed to fall asleep, her dreams had been full of images of Thea’s broken body lying across Mill Grange’s main staircase, a victim of John’s unrequited obsession. Or she’d pictured her friend’s face crumpled into tears as John dragged her into his car, forcing her into an unwanted gentrified life of motherhood and posh cutlery.
Tina checked her watch. It was half past six in the morning. She contemplated taking Thea a coffee up to her room, but then thought she might scare her friend witless if unexpected footsteps echoed along the corridor at such an early hour, so she stayed where she was.
Telling herself the lack of a body in the hallway proved that her imagination had run away with her, and that Thea was perfectly alright, Tina stared at the place where John had sat. When Thea had talked about him before, she’d left out a physical description, concentrating instead on how guilty the man made her feel for not returning his affection. It had never occurred to Tina that John would be quite so easy on the eye.
Instead she’d been taken in by his classic good looks. His piercing green eyes and expertly cut blond hair. She’d fallen for his smoothly chiselled features and well-tailored but casual clothes. He’d given off an air of confident intelligence and easy-going companionship. And I fell for it.
‘How could I have let him in? I should have been on the alert as soon as I’d realised he was called John and was our age rather than a pensioner.’
Tina stared at her fingers entwined around her mug and gave a grunt of self-disgust. She’d been charmed by his smile and the air of affluence he projected. To her shame, Tina knew she’d found that attractive. She winced as she recalled how she’d told Thea to keep her hands off because John was hers. But the ugly truth was, however briefly and based on appearances alone, she’d considered John as a more viable version of the man she’d hoped Leon would be.
Leon. His face joined the taunting images in her head.
Tina wished she hadn’t left the restaurant without a word of explanation. It had been childish, even though she hadn’t planned it. She hadn’t thought about anything but removing herself from Leon’s company so she could clear her head after he’d belittled her.
‘Belittled.’ Tina blew the word across her steaming mug. ‘That’s what it was. He didn’t know me – doesn’t know me – yet he was hitting my insecurity buttons in neat order.’ Until now she hadn’t considered what it was that had made her act so out of character. Normally, she’d have seen the date through, politely making small talk, and then afterwards, send a short but honest email saying how she’d enjoyed the evening, but didn’t wish to repeat the date experience in this instance. With Leon it was different.
He was so much the image of the man she’d always wanted. Older, experienced, successful, with no money worries. Although she was prepared to accept that such a man would be used to being in control of any given situation, it hadn’t occurred to her that he might put her down in order to make himself appear more than he was.
‘He’s insecure.’ Realisation sent a fresh hit of guilt nudging at Tina’s conscience. ‘Did Leon go all high-handed because he was nervous? Maybe I got it wrong?’
Tina hadn’t so much as peeped at the email she’d set up exclusively for use with the dating site. Is Internet dating really something you only do if you’re a failure? If you can’t secure a partner by conventional means?
Telling herself that computer dating was conventional these days, Tina hugged her coat tighter around her shoulders. She ought to get on with some work while she was waiting for Thea to come downstairs for breakfast; there was certainly plenty to do.
Knowing she’d be of little use until she’d seen that Thea was alright, Tina checked the contents of the food cupboard the volunteers used for lunches and snacks. A smile crossed her lips. She might not be able to make amends for taking John on as a volunteer, but she could rustle up some pancakes so that Thea could start the day with a full stomach and her favourite breakfast.
*
Lemon juice.
Thea sniffed again as she walked down the servants’ staircase. She wasn’t imagining it, there was definitely a distinct aroma of lemon juice in the air. She froze on the stairs as, for a split second, she pictured John in the kitchen, cooking lemon cake to try and win her over.
Brushing away the perspiration that suddenly dotted her palms, Thea reminded herself that John didn’t have a key to the manor. It had to be Tina.
*
‘That was utterly delicious.’ Thea smeared the last piece of pancake around her plate, soaking up as much spilt honey as she could. ‘But honestly, you have no need to feel guilty about anything. You didn’t know it was John, and he was hardly likely to introduce himself to you as my ex.’
‘I know but, it was me who insisted you did the television broadcast and—’
‘You did no such thing. It was Mabel’s idea, and it was a good one. If it wasn’t for the new volunteers, the slim chance we have of getting the house reopened wouldn’t exist at all.’
‘But if we don’t succeed, then John will have found you for no reason and…’
Thea placed a palm over her friend’s flapping hand. ‘It’s no good starting on what ifs.’ Sounding more confident than she felt, Thea added, ‘Actually, I feel guilty myself, what with one thing and another, I didn’t get round to asking how your date with the silver fox went. Was he James Bond without the spying?’
Tina shrugged. ‘Let’s just say it doesn’t seem to be our week when it comes to men!’
Keeping the image of Shaun that had arrived in her mind to herself, Thea decided to say nothing about his intentions of ravishment. After all, they might come to nothing. For now it was enough to have a hopeful dream for company while the demands of the weeks ahead accumulated.
‘Leon wasn’t the man of your dreams then?’
Tina twisted a pigtail around her fingers. ‘I don’t know. I walked out on him.’
‘You’re kidding! What did he do?’
‘He made me feel inferior. I don’t think he meant to, but before the starters arrived I found my feet marching homeward.’
‘If he made you feel like that before the meal had even started, then you were better off out of there.’
‘What if I misunderstood him?’ Tina twiddled her left plait between her fingers. ‘What if he was shy and overcompensating or—’
‘He made you feel wrong. We have instincts like that for a reason; listen to them. Trust your gut.’
Tina gave a half smile. ‘Like you did with John, you mean?’
‘Touché!’ Thea snorted. ‘If I’d listened to the voice at the back of my head telling me John was too eager earlier on then, perhaps I wouldn’t be facing another round of his efforts to prove to me he’s the man of my dreams.’ The kitchen clock announced the arrival of half past seven. ‘I wonder what time he’ll show up.’
‘He didn’t strike me as someone who knows that life exists before eight in the morning on a non-work day.’ Tina rubbed her forearms. ‘How about we explain the situation to the whole group? If we stand together, we can ask John to leave.’
Horrified at the idea of everyone knowing of her personal business, Thea said, ‘I’d rather not. Can you imagine! It would be round the village like wildfire. And, if I do end up working here long-term, I’d always be “the girl who had the trainee stalker”, even when I’m ninety.’
‘True.’ Tina sighed. ‘Can we fire him?’
‘Apparently it isn’t that easy with volunteers. I asked Shaun last night.’
Tina poured a new packet of biscuits into a nearby tin. ‘Getting on okay with our celebrity, are you?’
‘Don’t look at me like that! He’s used to working with volunteers, so I asked him.’ Thea busied herself with the dirty plates. ‘He was very kind and rescued me from John’s determination to take me out last night. We ended up having dinner in Moira’s living room, but I can hardly expect him to be my bodyguard for the next few months.’
‘You went out to dinner?’ Tina’s face lit up.
‘Not in a date way. In a rescue-me-from-John way. Don’t go reading anything into it.’
‘Yeah, right.’ Tina gathered up the mugs and followed Thea to the sink. ‘It would help a bit if Shaun did stay here and pay rent.’
‘True, although…’ Thea hesitated. ‘I don’t want anyone to know I’m living in as well.’
‘What did Shaun say when you told him?’
‘I didn’t.’
Tina regarded her friend as if she were nuts. ‘How will you be able to keep it secret?’
‘I don’t know. By being extra careful about getting up before everyone arrives and not leaving evidence of breakfast consumption in the kitchen I suppose. Can you imagine how tongues would wag if people knew it was just me and Shaun in this big house at night?’
‘Ah.’
‘I can see the local headlines now. “Celebrity archaeologist shacks up with restorer at Mill Grange at Exmoor Trust’s expense.”’
‘Bit long for a headline, but I take your point.’ Drying her hands, Tina said, ‘We could open the manor to others as well. Charge people to stay while having an interactive restoration experience.’
‘Wouldn’t that mean having to find a caterer and keeping the rooms clean on a daily basis and…?’
Tina raised her hand. ‘Scrap that then.’
‘It was a good idea, but we don’t have the time to run a guest house as well.’ Thea added, ‘I suppose we could let it be known that volunteers could stay here for a small fee, but that they’d be obliged to look after themselves. But…’
‘But John would immediately want to stay.’ Tina flapped the idea away with her hand. ‘Let’s forget it.’
*
Thea waved at Sam through the scullery window, as he hailed her with a sickle in one hand and a roll of sacking in the other. For a moment she envied the serenity on his face. He was a man who knew what the day held, and was happily embracing its simplicity.
‘We have to keep going.’
‘We certainly do.’ Shaun leant against the scullery door. ‘Talking to yourself?’
Surprised by how pleased she was to see Shaun, Thea said, ‘I was thinking how much the village needs this project to work, not to mention how much we owe it to the volunteers to succeed.’
‘That’s an attitude I like.’ Shaun crossed his arms over his scruffy Arran jumper. ‘So boss, where would you like me to start?’
‘Are you sure you’re okay with me giving you instructions? I mean, you probably have more idea than me about what to do first and…’
‘You know the place, I’m still learning about it. So, where shall I start?’
The firmness of his tone was offset by the friendly shine to his eyes. Thea couldn’t help but grin back at him. ‘In that case I’d like you to go to the laundry.’ Thea pointed along the slim servants’ corridor that ran away from the scullery and the comfort of the main house. ‘Can you give me your opinion as to the extent of the damp, see if we can do anything both short and long-term to prevent it spreading? If so, I’d like your opinion about if it’s worth opening the laundry to the public.’
An imperious voice from behind Shaun suddenly chipped in. ‘Of course it has to be opened. Everyone likes to poke about in the old laundry.’ Mabel spoke as if even the consideration of the issue was a waste of time. ‘Come on, Shaun, Thea’s busy running the place. I’ll show you.’
Mabel manhandled Shaun away, and Thea fought the urge to laugh as she heard his voice say innocently, ‘You clearly know this place well, Mabel. Do you mind me asking why there is such an awful smell of vinegar?’