One day in December of 2012, frustrated and disappointed with our love lives, we came up with the idea for an experiment. We had been good friends and peers in the graphic design world for years, and we were constantly surprised by how consistent our opposite relationship problems were. Based on the adage that it takes forty days to change a bad habit, we decided that “dating” each other for forty days, even though our relationship had always been platonic, would force us to explore our issues and maybe even break our own bad love habits. At the beginning of the experiment, we established six rules designed to enforce this emotional and physical investment in each other during the forty days, such as filling out a daily questionnaire, keeping a journal, and seeing a couple’s therapist once a week. We thought that if we could carry this out with as much sincerity as possible, then maybe we could not only help ourselves, but potentially create a larger dialogue to help the many others out there, who, like us, are looking for love.
We did not make the decision to create the 40 Days of Dating blog until after our experiment. In the blog, we shared what we each had recorded in our journals while we were dating, which most sane people would never reveal to the world. Well, neither of us was prepared for the fact that the project would go viral, or that we would be featured in major news media all over the world. Suffice it to say, it’s been an amazing journey!
One of the many positive outcomes of the blog is the book you now hold in your hands.
While this book contains the entire blog, it is so much more than that. We reveal, for the first time, everything that went on between us after the experiment, and after we launched the blog. We talk about everything that led up to the blog, going back to our childhoods and our parents’ relationships and how they affected us. We asked lots of other people to tell us their own relationship stories—how they met the love of their life, how love fits into their life (or not), their worst dates—it’s all here. We also added an extra layer to the blog, in the margins, that contains our personal remarks on each other’s entries. Finally, there’s a ton of new art throughout the book and other good stuff we thought you might appreciate.
This project has become a real labor of love for us, and we hope you get as much out of it as we have. It has been an incredible trip, as you will see, even the difficult, awkward, and weird parts. In many ways, 40 Days of Dating—the book—is nothing like you might expect: It’s honest, raw, funny, sad, but at the same time full of hope. While some dismissed the blog as a side-effect of the too-much-information generation, many more have been loyal followers of our journey—hating to love it, loving to hate it, or just simply loving it. You be the judge—and we hope you enjoy!